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Colette's Diary

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Vampire Lady Says I'm Normal

August 24th 2010 10:47 pm
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We got a call from the Vampire Lady (vet) this afternoon.

She says my thyroid levels came in at 2.1: completely normal. Yay.

The vampire lady was amazed when Mom reminded her that this was my first follow-up evaluation after sleep-away camp. The next one happens 2 months from now.

My poops are still no good. Mom is supposed to watch them for the next 2 days and if they don't get better I'm getting another round of Metronidazole to jump-start the healing. Mom and the vampire lady also discussed moving me on to Natural Balance Venison-Green Pea Formula.

Purring for good poops. I hate medicine!



Help! They've Submitted Parts of Me to Medical Science- Again. : ~ {

August 23rd 2010 10:27 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 7 people already have ]

Mom ruined my day. As if it didn't start out bad enough.

Yeow, man. The first thing I know Marrakech crept up while our backs were turned and let out a yowl. Marrakech thinks it's funny; she does that pretty often.

Mom jumped. So did I, but all four of my paws went skidding around that slippery linoleum floor and I almost hit the ground sideways with my legs still pumping. I could hear peals of laugher still coming from the kitchen. They called me a drama queen! I don't think I'm a drama queen, sheesh!

And my poops were bad today and it's already been a month since I came back from sleep away camp. Can you believe it!!!

The next thing I know, I'm going backwards into that ###!! Sherpa bag. Well, I showed that lady doctor--almost--I hissed at her. It didn't work :~{

I swear, she's like a vampire. All she ever wants is my blood. Mom forgot to bring my poop with us--if she thinks I'm going back to make another donation...

Then I heard Mom talking to the doctor about that endocrine replacement therapy book she's been reading. Hey... that's long-term treatment. I DON'WANNA.... The doctor said she would read the book, but cautioned Mom that there's no such thing as a 'magic bullet'. Mom said we'd talk about that more after the doctor reviews it.

And then when we got home ... and then... Mom gave Marrakesh fishies and I didn't get any!!

Okay, so Samsara got her Pounce treats and I got my Turkey (yay).

I think I'm going to take an extra-long nap now. Yawn.



We are the Cat. We are Effurywhere.

August 18th 2010 11:16 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 6 people already have ]

We girls have made sure to keep Mom busy today. No Mom, we weren’t conspiring against you. We are the cat, we are effurywhere.

If you haven’t seen it already, Marrakech started out the day really well. She had trouble breathing, so she’s gone to sleep-over camp for the night. Mom had to re-arrange her plans for today. By the way, Mom says thank you to effurryone for all the kind wishes and purresents for Marrakech. She’ll thank effurybody purrsonally later.

One of those plans was supposed to involve hauling out the vacuum monster. I wouldn’t have missed it, but she says she needed to do it. This time the mop and bucket came out too. And that vacuum monster and mop were busy for most of the afternoon.

Mom says she’s singing at a cab-a-ray tomorrow night. Whenefurr that happens she usually puts on a floor-length dress and brings out a lot of shiny things to hang on herself when she puts the dress on. I think her lavender-taupe satin dress would look rather pretty with a beige kitty fur boa at the bottom, don’t you think so? I like snakes.

Giggles. No sooner had Mom finished vacuuming and mopping the kitchen and the dining room, than I got to watch her call Samsara by every name other than her own. (All polite names, mind you.) She called her Colette, Marrakech, Misha, Samantha—then she stopped and told her that the next kitty she adopted was going to have a middle name so she could use it. Huh? The only thing Samsara did was bring some sticky kibble out to the rug to leave it there for later. She always does that, what was the big deal?

Then Mom started to wrap purresents for her coach and purrformance director. I purr without a formance director! Anyway, I love purresents, especially the bags. Mom got called away from that in the middle. I tried to help wrap but I got into a bit of a tight squeeze with that. I hope the purrformance director likes crinkly shopping bags. Samsara and I got into a tight squeeze a little later on too. Note to self: two kitties walking shoulder-to-shoulder do not fit through small spaces together. Giggles.

In fact, Samsara and I did a lot together tonight. She didn’t want to finish her supper so Mom put it away. Lucky me! Samsara helped me finish my supper tonight. Sisfurrly love: two little heads bent over the same supper dish. See Ma, my bowl is squeaky clean now.

We girls are effurywhere. The last time Mom walked into the bedroom I heard her saying something about my tumbleweed being on the floor.

And the last time I heard Mom grumble she was saying something about slopping new nail polish over her old man-ee-cure.



August 14th 2010 10:43 am
[ Leave A Comment | 9 people already have ]

I had blood in my plops again. Mom stopped the tuna. My poops are getting better again.

We tried. We now know that my allergy tests had a false negative when it came to fish.

On a brighter note, my new Auntie Paula took Mom to Whiskers store in Manhattan and Mom bought me some Whole Life Turkey Treats. The only thing that's in them is freeze-dried turkey meat.

Mom says I almost took her fingers off to get them. And I honored Mom by eating everything in my supper dish after I had them.

They're going to have to be an extra-special treat because she had to trade 7 green pieces of paper for one ounce of them. I'm worth it, right? Bring them on! I want, I want, I want...

Thank you, Auntie Paula.

Purrs & headbonks...


Mom's Musings

August 8th 2010 9:23 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 10 people already have ]

My tired secretary (Mom) took the night off, but she handed me this sheet to read to all of you. It’s called Mom’s Musings. I don’t understand half of what she’s saying, but she says you will.

Purrs & headbonks…

1. I wonder how many collective hours we have all spent on Catster. Purportedly in our pets’ interests, we show off their beauty, recount real events and discuss their issues (medical and behavioral)--all the while, of course, ignoring them. Perhaps we dump one out of our laps—our legs have become stiff from an overly long nap. Or we push their inquisitive paws away from the keyboard. Can’t you see your page up on my computer! What do you mean I’m not paying attention to you! Ironic isn’t it.

2. If cats could talk what would they really say to us? We ascribe all sorts of personalities to them depending on their natures and our perceptions of them. Our cats here on Catster—a microcosm mirroring our own society—run the gamut from wise old sage to village idiot, depending on whom we think they are, and where along the continuum we are ourselves. Ironic isn’t it.

3. On a more personal level, again the irony. When Colette’s human cousins were little, their human Mom would recount, ad nauseum, exactly what each of her proud offspring ate on any given day. Colette’s human Mom, who never had human children, never envisioned doing the same thing on a daily basis: discussing what Colette ate and every poo and pee she ever took! And, all of you, instead of rolling your eyes in amazement and disgust, rally around to cheer her on her first rope, not a plop, mind you! Thank you.

4. Where would we be without you? I wonder. Even though Colette’s health has a long way to go, she would be nowhere near where she is now without the love and caring that each of you has given us. We love our furriends on Catster!


Can't Get Good Help Nowadays and I Made A Rope!

August 8th 2010 12:51 am
[ Leave A Comment | 6 people already have ]

Mom's been working overtime.

We just fixed up the aftermath of the trojan we had last week. We had Norton do a remote-access clean-up today. It was expensive, but we feel it was money well spent.

So now that we could get back on the computer without the fear of being spied on, I asked Mom to help thank efurryone for the good wishes and purrezies they sent me for my DDPs and DOTD honors.

Well...hmph... we checked our p-mails one last time. There were 2 p-mails there AND one was from me!!!! Oops! Sigh. What ever happened to good help? (Giggles)

I HAVE GREAT NEWS! I made a 5 inch rope today--a rope, not a plop.

And I had tuna and there was no blood! Yaaaaayyyyy.

Lots and Lots of Headbonks (and some Kangaroo jumps too).....


DPOTD and Sisfurly Love

August 5th 2010 9:45 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 7 people already have ]

Well, what can I say! We always thought I had star quality, but we never thought of me as a celeb before.

DPOTD, wow!

Wa, wa ,we, wa....I feel like I'm making my acceptance speech on Oscar night!

Thank you Diary Gal!

And thanks, all for the gifts and the concats... I dare say this is going to keep my secretary busy for a while, getting back to everyfurr purrsonally.

Even Marrakech was proud of me. I got a big kitty kiss from her today, and she let me kiss her back. What a breakthrough! I've been hoping for this moment since my gotcha day, October 25, 2008!

'I could cry, salty tears,
Where have I been all these years?
Little wow!
Tell me now,
How long has this been going on?

There were chills up my spine,
And some thrills I can't define.
Hear me sweet,
I repeat,
How Long Has This Been Going.... On....'

Purrs & headbonks...



August 5th 2010 9:15 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 2 people already have ]

This came into Mom's e-mail from Pet Health Store in New York today--

Hope you all have heard about it by now! We're printing it exactly as it was sent to us.

Procter & Gamble announces
a voluntary recall of
Iams and Eukanuba Dry Pet Foods
due to possible Salmonella contamination.
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE -- CINCINNATI, July 30, 2010 – The Procter & Gamble Company (P&G) (NYSE:PG) is recalling some veterinary and some specialized dry pet food as a precautionary measure because it has the potential to be contaminated with salmonella.

The following dry pet food products are included:

Product Name
"Best-By" Dates
UPC Codes

Iams Veterinary Dry Formulas
All dry sizes and varieties
01Jul10 – 01Dec11
All UPC Codes

Eukanuba Naturally Wild
All dry sizes and varieties
01Jul10 – 01Dec11
All UPC Codes

Eukanuba Pure
All dry sizes and varieties
01Jul10 – 01Dec11
All UPC Codes

Eukanuba Custom Care Sensitive Skin
All dry sizes
01Jul10 – 01Dec11
All UPC Codes

The affected products are sold in veterinary clinics and specialty pet retailers throughout the United States and Canada.

Consumers who have purchased the specific dry pet foods listed should discard them. People handling dry pet food can become infected with Salmonella, especially if they have not thoroughly washed their hands after having contact with surfaces exposed to this product. Healthy people infected with Salmonella should monitor themselves for some or all of the following symptoms: nausea, vomiting, diarrhea or bloody diarrhea, abdominal cramping and fever. Rarely, Salmonella can result in more serious ailments including arterial infections, endocarditis, arthritis, muscle pain, eye irritation and urinary tract symptoms. Consumers exhibiting these signs after having contact with this product should contact their healthcare providers.

Pets with Salmonella infections may have decreased appetite, fever and abdominal pain. If left untreated, pets may be lethargic and have diarrhea or bloody diarrhea, fever and vomiting. Infected but otherwise healthy pets can be carriers and infect other animals or humans. If your pet has consumed the recalled product and has these symptoms, please contact your veterinarian.

For further information or a product replacement or refund call P&G toll-free at 877-340-8823 (Monday – Friday, 9:00 AM to 6:00 PM EST), or visit

PetHealthStore is always dedicated to informing you regarding best feeding choices, and any concerns that could impact your pet’s health. Call us anytime at 212-595-4200.


DDP, UFOs and Tuna Fish

August 4th 2010 9:52 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 14 people already have ]

I can't believe it! The second time in two weeks! Thanks HQ and thanks everyfur for the concats.

And yes, that nasty flying saucer did scare me into a big floof. My tail would have been floofier if I hadn't been so itchy over the past few weeks. (There's a chunk of it missing in the middle.) I'd love to say that the UFO scared the fur right off me, but : ( I'd be lying.

Lucy, I don't think that UFO's taste like chicken--this one smelled like an English Muffin. Aren't they our allies nowadays? I smell a traitor!

We've been celebrating quietly since we found out about DDP today. It's been hotter in NY. It went up to 91 again.

Mom also cut back on how much tuna fish I'm getting. She thinks she spotted a bit of blood in my poops again. Please, please let my body adjust so I can have it.

Feeling's been an exciting day!




August 2nd 2010 12:18 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 9 people already have ]

There are flying saucers by my water fountain!

No, I'm not delusional! One almost hit me!

I was about to have a sip from the fountain when it came in for a crash landing! It was still warm from its flight!

Huh? What was that?

A little too much spring-action from the toaster?


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