January 10th 2005 5:15 pm
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This weekend my mom got out a cool toy that I had never seen before. It had a long, thin, flexible stick with a string on the end. At the end of the string was a feathery bird! When Mom waved it around, the bird flew through the kitchen. So I decided to hunt it. Trivet wasn't even interested; I couldn't believe it!
It took time and effort to catch the bird. It could fly high, and it was fast. I had to do a bunch of fancy jumps and twists in the air. Then it flew too close to the floor, and I pounced! Ha! I knocked it down with my two front paws, then I grabbed it in my mouth. Mom laughed at me when I marched down the hall with my tail up high and those feathers poking out of my mouth. What does she know? I caught a bird! Right there in the kitchen!
Mom tried to take the bird away, saying I'd wreck it. I made a growling sound like a big lion, and Mom seemed a little surprised. She wasn't as scared as she should have been. Somehow, she got the bird away from me. I was steamed. Then, I couldn't believe it, the bird started flying again! I was sure it was close to dead.
I started chasing the bird some more in the kitchen. Meanwhile, my stupid brother Trivet thought it would be funny to tackle me while I was watching the bird. I didn't even see him coming, the big jerk! I think our little wrestling match scared the bird, because I noticed it stopped flying around until we were done. Trivet did this a bunch of times while I was hunting. Sometimes he is just a big litterbox face, if you know what I mean.
Mom put the bird in the closet after a while, but she got it out again yesterday. It was still flying around in our kitchen. I could not believe it. Birds are dumb, I guess. So I hunted, in between wrestling with Trivet, who was still being a pain in the tail. Finally, I caught the bird! I used the same method that had worked for me before: pouncing on it with my front paws, then grabbing it in my teeth.
Well, no way was I letting Mom take away my prey again. I gave her another lion growl, then I headed for the bedroom, tail held high. She kept following me, which I found annoying, and she was still holding that flexible pole with the string. I took my prey under the bed to eat it, but Mom peeked under and tried to take it away. I growled some more and made my tail big and scary. Then Mom started pulling on the string, but I wouldn't let go. Then the string popped loose! Mom complained that I had broken the new toy, but then she went away and let me eat in peace.
After a while, I decided this bird was not good to eat, so I left the remains under the bed. Later I threw up on the carpet in the study. Feathers don't agree with me, I guess. In fact, they're just as icky as that half a mouse I ate a while back (and also threw up onto the carpet in the study). A cat just can't catch anything tasty around here. I ended up ordering room service.