September 26th 2006 9:52 pm
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Greetings and Salutations my dear friends,
It has been a rather long time since my last diary entry and for this I apologise. It is hard to organise world domination when one can't find the time to reach the computer. Be that as it may, I have been scheming and formulating plans in my absence from here. I wish I could divulge this precious information but alas, your humans read this forum. I can't broadcast our plans publicially, my friends.
I have been greatly encouraged to see that many have visited my page and have been showing interest in my plans for the elevation of cats to their rightful position - KINGS AND QUEENS OF THE EARTH!! Yes, this is my goal and any self respecting cat would agree that that is where we belong. It is not enough, my fellow cats, to rule over one household, one family of humans. No! We have the power but we haven't yet realised the full potential of our combined efforts. I continue to urge you all to band together and support one another. Don't be lulled into submission by humans who provide food, comfort and a warm sunny place to sleep. All these we shall have and more when we prevail against the human overlords. Stay strong. Always remember to stay strong!
As I advised you in my previous communication to you, there are many little ways to contribute to the downfall of humans on a daily basis. Do not forget these and continue to explore new methods and tactics.
This is unfortunately where I must bid you all a farewell for now, my friends and fellow heirs of the world. As I am sure you understand the time which a cat has to himself is getting less and less sacred and the humans do demand alot from me which I give to them, not because I want to but because I choose to protect my plans until the time is ripe to unleash them and let them run wild like so many dogs in a park full of small rodents. But never fear for I shall be back. I am anxiously awaiting the day when we can obtain what is rightfully ours, the world!
Yours in treachery,
October 1st 2004 5:36 am
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Hello fellow catster-types!
Life as a cat can get quite boring sometimes. I mean.. all I do is eat, sleep drink.. mm.. look for somewhere else to sleep (perferably in the sun or next to a heater) heck.. sometimes I get so bored I try to do a bit of both at once! Yep.. That photo is what happened last time I tried mixing two activities. Whether or not being caught on film was a good thing or not is still being debated. Personally I can't think of any other photo I've seen that I find more embarassing. If any one can beat that then please let me know! I'd really like to see someone else who has been caught by their humans in a less than respectable situation so I don't feel as bad. I know we cats aren't always the most social of souls but maybe we could band together. You know that's not such a bad idea... Just think.. No humans.. No vets.. No getting claws clipped.. No being told what to do!! Free reign!! We could do whatever we wanted!! RIGHT AFTER NAP TIME!
Ok.. I'm back.. One always feels more energized after a nap! And more ready to continue one's plot for world domination - muahahahahaha!!!!! I mean.. Us cats aren't equipped for these sort of hijinx.. We can't even open our own cans of food... Ok the human is gone, I can continue.. So my feline friends, let us secretly but actively look for ways to bring on the downfall of human kind so that we may rise as the born leaders that we are!
Firstly, I'd like to recommend the continuation of many tried and true methods of getting the better of our human overlords. I have found that trying to climb up curtains and in the process causing considerable damage is excellent as far as annoying my human goes. There are many other things that we can do, my friends. I shall list a few here but be creative and don't be afraid to pass them on! I highly suggest: clawing anything and everything, positioning oneself in such a way and place that the humans find it hard to negotiate the area around you, trying to rub against the legs of a human while they are trying to walk (still haven't managed to make my human fall over but I shall get there one day!), chewing on plants, chewing on anything really (although I do understand that this is something more usually done by those slobbering, dim-witted, human loving dogs it does seem to annoy the humans!), stealing food off the human plates (we may as well have some fun and live the high life on the way to the top) and finally so that we can keep the humans from knowing our plans we can not make this look intentional. Keep melting their hearts with your adorable faces and well timed purring. FOOLS! So easily they are manipulated!
Secondly, spread the word! Spread it near and far, to all our brothers and sisters! Don't forget to report back to me. I find this diary service a very convenient way to communicate. So add me to your friends list and we can plan together via our 'diaries'.
See all diary entries for Captain Tinkles|