Entry from Bon-Bon's Mommy

Dear Dogster and Catster friends,

It's time to make the truth known and that is even after basically a year since Whitie's Passing I miss her only like it was yesterday. I am still hurting and I know there will never be another dog like her she was so special to me and meant so much. AS Bon-Bon meant to me too.

I miss them so much and I am hurting as if it were just yesterday since they passed this is my very first Christmas without the both of them by my side giving me cuddles and kisses and letting me their mommy know that they loved me and that everything was going to be ok.

This Christmas is very hard for me because I am not going home this year and am basically I guess you can say spending it alone.

People keep telling me that I should be over the loss of my baby girls by now because they were just animals but they were my daughters my precious girls.

I know God Gave HIS son for us and HE hurt too.

I feel so selfish for feeling this way as you have all noticed I have not been active at all in dogster and catster lately.

I feel guilty also for jumping in the decision of getting Freedom I never considered the size of my aprt for such a big dog. Freedom went to her new forever home last week a friend and her family took her in. Freedom loves it there yesterday her mommy, daddy and I signed a contract and made it legal she is now their family member but she will forever be in my heart. Freedom needed her Freedom she lives in a house now with a backyard and another pup to play with with 4 cats too. They have company all the time and Freedom loves the people and she already knows this is her family. I miss her but I know she's so happy in her new home. I get to go over and see her anytime I want to in fact I was there yesterday spending time with Freedom they will keep me updated and will send me pictures too.

But I feel so bad for still missing my angel girls. Sometimes I wish I was like Autumn and Terucan my cats and that I could be over their loss already. I know most people who lose family pets usually are over it before the year is up.

But I still only want them back. I miss them so much. Especially my helper dog Whitie who helped me feel safe while I was outside around so many people but I know I will never get either of them back and I know they are in a much better place. But then why does it still hurt so very much?

Autumn has not left my side this whole week she has been such a suck. Now that Freedom is gone Autumn is almost back to her normal self ask for attention no longer hiding during the day and once again playing with her sister Terucan and running around the house at times. But for the most part she has been by my side cuddling me and loving me and Terucan has taken her turns also to be a snuggle bug. They are a big help to me right now. But there is still that big huge hole in my heart of my two angel babies that are not there. The first two babies that I ever had..

Fantasia Moon who is also on dogster she was one of our family dogs I grew up with passed away 2 weeks ago she had a brain tumour and mom finally had to make the decision to let her go. It has not hit me yet that Fanny is gone because I have yet to be home and looks like I won't be going home this year. But she was a sweet little girl and I grew up with her she was 11 yrs old. Brittania from what mom said is doing alright she has a heart murmur and I pray Brit won't suddenly turn to depression once she realizes that her sister and best friend of 11 yrs is gone and pass away too because I know my mom wouldn't be able to handle that at this time.

I just keep remembering the times with My girls Whitie and Bon-Bon and just how much all my furfamily loved each other and took care of each other and just how protective Whitie was of her cats. And how she became the mother of Autumn basically when Autumn was only 4 weeks old.

how is it possible that after a year I still miss her this way and after 6 months I still miss Bon-Bon so much too? I do not know but I do know I am selfish for feeling this way and I feel so guilty for it because I know my mother is grieving something awful right now too with the loss of her baby girl just 2 weeks ago one year ago this past November she had to say goodbye to our last family cat Butterfly too who passed away from Liver cancer.

So to be truthful to everyone this year has been extremely hard on me and this Christmas isn't that much better.
Thank-you for all your support and prayers and thank-you so much to those of my friends that I have met on dogster and Catster that have kept in touch with me via e-mail it is very very much appreciated and helps show me that people do care and don't just say well they were just animals you should be over it by now.......... Especially when I already feel guilty enough for feeling this way..

Once again thank-you
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year
Tara

I so wish I could help mommy

Hi Everyone

It's me Bon-Bon from up in Heaven.

Well although I did arrive safely poor mommy doesn't know as of yet I still have not been able to go down and visit her for the one time to tell her that I'm ok like Whitie did..

Mommy is depressed and of course the closer it draws nearer to the July 20th the day I would've turned 10 (I wasn't adopted till a week before mommy's birthday when I was 11 weeks)

Mommy gets even more sad.

She misses me so much she just wishes she could curl up in her bed and never get up again.

But she can not Thankfully Freedom is there to make mommy take her for walks.

Poor Autumn is depressed to and I think she could be sick I just hope it doesn't need vet attention whatever she's got cause mommy spent all the money on me and Freedom on June 25th.

Autumn doesn't do nothing but eat drink go to the washroom and sleep sometimes she won't even let mommy pet her or hold her.

During the day Terucan stays in the cat room all day cause she doesn't want Freedom to bug her then at night she will come out and play and then sleep by mommy's bed on the floor all night long .

But of all my sisters I worry about mommy the most so does Whitie.
She is just wanting to isolate she doesn't even want to eat or do anything at all.

She feels guilty cause she doesn't think she's doing what she needs to for my sisters on earth you know?

But I know mommy will be ok and I know she'll get out of this she always does.

She's just go so much on her mind and so much to handle right now.

Like when she found out Bandit was euthanized 2 weeks after he left mommy's place she's blaming herself for that. and it was that bad woman's step son who shoved it in her face too. Said he was euthanized for being rambunctious just broke mommy's heart before I even passed on you know.. But he's up here in Heaven too. He's part of the our family up here. If only I could tell mommy that and tell her just how much Bandit knows he was loved by mommy and appreciates that too.

She's dealing with plenty of stuff right now

Well that's it for me I'll be back another time when mommy's up to helping me write again
Bon-Bon Jewel

I arrived safe and sound

Hello Everyone
I'm in Heaven now.

I fought the sedation so hard the vet put something in the sedation also to help with me not going into a seizure and for pain. But I fought it and wouldn't sleep even after 15 minutes I was awake after a second sedation shot. I got sick 4 times also the vet said she's never seen a furbaby get sick from it before.

Finally they just gave me the second shot the Heaven Journey Shot. Whitie and Aunty Butterfly and Luvbunny all flew down and made me go home with them I didn't want to leave mommy she was holding me and kissing me so so much. She kept telling me she loved me and it was ok to go.

I had a talk with Jesus when I arrived and HE held me in HIS arms.

Mommy is hurting so much Whitie and I are hurting seeing just how much she is crying right now and Autumn and Terucan are so lost and right now won't let mommy pet them or cuddle them. She gave them extra treats though

Right now she's crying so hard and she just can't stop she hasn't eaten all day nor can she sleep.

I just wish I could be with her right now I know how much she loved me and i loved her so much too.

Well pls pray for her and my sisters thanks
Bon-Bon

Hello All My Heaven Journey is tomorrow

So tomorrow I will be making my journey to Heaven mommy says she will stay right by my side until I take my last breat.

Mommy is really struggling right now she is crying and crying and crying and trying her hardest to stay strong she bought me some whiska's wet food today in the pouch and my favourite flavours too she gave me tuna today and said I'll get chicken tomorrow before we leave at 12:15.

I am not afraid to go mommy keeps telling me about Heaven and Jesus and how I'll be reunited with family and everyone that will meet me at the gates there.

She says Whitie will probably come to help show me the way even.
but I am sad for mommy. She is so struggling having to lose another daughter being me 6 months after saying goodbye to Whitie too.

She is taking great care to help me stay comfortable until then too. But she's oh so very hurting I can tell.

I wish I didn't have to leave her but my time has come and mommy knows that I'll be ok with Jesus. She told me no more seizure monster or arthritis which means no more pain for me and she told me I'll be young again and be able to run and play like I used to and loved to also.

I cuddle with her as much as I can and give her kisses to tell her I love her and I'll remember her as much as she'll remember me and always love me too.

I think mommy wishes nana could be here with her when she lets me go she's had me for almost 10 yrs now. I'm one month shy of my 10th birthday that will be next month.

If anyone can make mommy good wings mommy will appreciate it she is making me some also she said.

Right now she's just hurting so bad and I know her heart is breaking again but she's doing the best to keep a smile on her face.

I just hope and pray my sisters Terucan and Autumn will be ok when I leave for Heaven too see we are all very very close. Please pray for them and pray that my sisters will continue to eat because with cats well we can only go 2 days without eating before our system begins to shut down.

So pls pls pray for them so mommy won't have to worry about them too.

Also pray for mommy when she gets Freedom checked out that all will be ok mommy thinks maybe Freedom is already having a problem with her hips sometimes freedom limps or walks funny so she's gonna have them checked out too.

Please pray I find my way to Heaven safe and sound tomorrow when I go
Thanks
The Apt is for 2:30pm.

God bless you all I love you all and thank-you always for your friendship
Bon-Bon

My Heaven Journey set for Wed June 25, 2008

Hello my friends I will be going to Heaven on the 25th of this month which is next week exactly. Mommy is hurting knowing she is having to say goodbye to another daughter so soon after my sister Whitie but She finally made the decision she has been struggling in making this decision since March when my nice nice vet Dr Ann Rankin told her I basically had no muscle span in my back end. Now I have too many bad days to let it go any longer sometimes mommy has to even help me on and off her bed and she doesn't even have a bed frame for that. I love sitting and laying in the window so mommy helps me up and off of there too.

Mommy knows I'll be fine and I know I'm going to perfect. You see mommy has told me all about Jesus and Heaven. She says when I go I'll have no more pain and no more seizure monster after me either. She says I won't have to take medicine any longer and I will be like a young kitten again able to run and play she told me Whitie and Luvbunny and my aunt Butterfly among many others will be there to meet me. Mostly Jesus will hold me and comfort me she said my first couple of days in Heaven. I know I'll see mommy again mommy said that too that in time I'll see mommy and my sisters here on earth I have so many siblings in Heaven and aunts and uncles that I have yet to meet. I can't wait to go there although I'm so sad to have to leave mommy knowing she is sad to see me go.

But it was me that told mommy to let me go you see I told her when she looked into my eyes. She knows I love her so probably more then she loves me and I've taken care of her for one month shy of my 10th year. I will be celebrating my 10th birthday in Heaven next month. Mommy says that I will have the best birthday in Heaven since I will not be having a party with mommy here on earth with her like every other year.

Well that's all I have to say.. Soon I will be joining my fellow friends and family at the rainbow bridge groups here on Catster also. I love all of you and thank-you so much for all of your support.

Here is a poem that Prissy sent me for mommy I'm posting it below now It's beautiful a friend sent it to prissy when they said goodbye to a member. Love always
Your friend Bon-Bon
P.S soon I'm going to have my wings.



MAKING THE FINAL DECISION TO SAY GOOD-BYE

You're giving me a special gift,
So sorrowfully endowed,
And through these last few cherished days,
Your courage makes me proud.

But really, love is knowing
When your best friend is in pain,
And understanding earthly acts
Will only be in vain.

So looking deep into your eyes,
Beyond, into your soul,
I see in you the magic, that will
Once more make me whole.

The strength that you possess,
is why I look to you today,
To do this thing that must be done,
For it's the only way.

That strength is why I followed you,
And chose you as my friend,
And why I've loved you all these years...
My partner til the end.

Please, understand just what this gift
Your're giving, means to me,
It gives me back the strength I've lost,
And all my dignity.

You take a stand on my behalf,
For that is what friends do.
And know that what you do is right,
For I believe it too.

So one last time, I breathe your scent,
And through your hand I feel,
The courage that's within you,
To now grant me this appeal.

Cut the leash that holds me here,
Dear friend, and let me run,
Once more a strong and steady cat
My pain and struggle done.

And don't despair my passing,
For I won't be far away,
Forever here within your heart,
And memory I'll stay.

I'll be there watching over you,
Your ever faithful friend,
And in your memories I'll run,
.....A young cat once again.

Facts about me and My role in life new tagged game

Oh gosh I've been tagged in a very big tag game but I guess I gotta do it since my friend Muffy Mouse the dog tagged me MOL.

Ok so
This is how ya play... Oh! And don't furget to send a pawmail or a rosette to let your furiends know you've Tagged them, and that they can find the rules in your Diary.

Name 4 jobs that you have.

1. Keeping the peace and disciplining Freedom
2. Taking care of my cat sisters Autumn and Terucan
3. Cuddling with mommy and making her smile.
4. Crying and meowing to tell mommy when we are out of food.

Name 4 places you have lived or stayed at.

1. My nana's house is the first house I lived in.
2. Mommy's aprt my home now.
3. one of the sitters Mommy's friends house.
4. Another sitter's house another of mommy's friends.

Name 4 places that you would rather be.

UMM like muffy mouse said I really can't think of any other place I'd rather be then with mommy
But I'll try to choose 4 anyway.

ok 1. Nana's to say goodbye to my aunts and my nana there before I go to Heaven.

2. Any of my good friend's homes.

3. Heaven with Whitie and Jesus and the rest of my family up there. sorry can't come up with a 4rth one


UMM OK 4 friends to tag

Dayzee

Minister Misty

The puppy in praise saying Halleluah praise God Halleluah
and number 4

Maggie Angeleta

Thanks all have fun

Well no heaven journey next week

Hi Friends it's me Bon-Bon again.

Please continue your prayers today it is raining and so my arthritis is acting up and I just relax and rest for now.

Mommy called the trustee she only has $92 in the acct there which has to be used for Freedom's 2nd shots next week. Mommy does not have the mommy to help me go Heaven or to cremate me.

She keeps asking herself how can she do it if she can't have me cremated like she had my sister Whitie she said it would be unfair.

I am ok with my pain meds for now and usually when I am in a tiny bit of pain I just lay down and relax mommy keeps Freedom away from me as much as possible she has told Terucan and Autumn that they will have to put Freedom in her place because she can go running to their rescue. Freedom won't hurt them anyway she just wants to play but for me it's a different story I can't have Freedom pouncing on me and I never back down going to the extremes of biting her or scratching her you see I'm the boss of this house so mommy will come and pick me up and carry me where I want to go if Freedom is awake.

She will not go on the computer while Freedom is awake only when she is asleep so she can make sure I am ok and Freedom isn't causing trouble.

Tomorrow if the rain goes away I will probably be ok again. Having Arthritis is a very hard thing sometimes. So when mommy brings Freedom in next week she will get more medication for me and she says hopefully by the time Freedom goes in her for her 3rd set of needles there will be enough money in the acct to help me to Heaven also.

Mommy is not looking forward to that she said she's trying to make herself ready but she isn't yet ready to let me go either. She says it's really hard Whitie already went to Heaven Dec 28, 2007 and now I will have to go soon shortly as well

But the vet did say last time I was in that I may be ok for one more summer so mommy prays that is true since she doesn't have the money at the moment.

She will talk to the vet about me when she Takes Freedom in too see what she can do.

AS for anything else we just ask for our friends prayers and support prayers that I will be ok and my pain will some what go away. Prayers that with the warmer weather coming and how hot the aprt gets (like a greenhouse heat if not hotter maybe?) That I won't go into a seizure and my time here with mommy will be memorable and not stressful at all.

That's all we ask for is prayer. Nothing more nothing less just prayer. Prayer works wonders you know.

Mommy knows as long as she keeps Freedom at bay from chasing me I should be fine and of course I do have my medication I take.

I love to go to mommy for attention and i do all the time. Purring up a storm . I love my mommy and my mommy loves me.

Well that's it for now I better stop writing since this is long already.
Thank-you to all our friends for your support prayer and encouragement we love you all.

God bless you now and always
Bon-Bon Jewel Germiquet

Well looks like my time has come for the Heaven Journey- Maybe Please Pray

Hi everyone Mommy has been fighting this week with a decision.
My Heaven Journey.............

You see for awhile there I looked to have gotten better now I am crying in pain again and once again my back legs have gone wobbly when I'm standing it's like i'm fighting to keep them up.

Mommy Says she is hoping she has the money for my cremation in the Trustee's acct or she may not let me go next week she will call tomorrow and see and if there is the money then she'll call the vet back and book my Heaven Journey the same day Freedom goes for her 2nd set of shots next Week Tues.

Mommy keeps looking at me I've heard her tell friends she just doesn't want to do it she said the same to NANA too she said I'm not ready mom I'm just not ready not after Losing Whitie one more summer it's all I want. But looks like I may not be able to make it that long I'm in pain again and wobbly legs it doesn't look good I know about Heaven and how much healthier I'll be my family there will meet me and Jesus too mommy's told me all about it. Even the seizure monster would never get me again. I know mommy knows this but her heart is feeling so heavy with the knowing of what she probably must do. I just hope she can make that decision.

I mean I know my sisters will miss me and be hurting like mommy but I don't want to be in pain any longer I want peace like Whitie has Peace and my sister Luvbunny and My aunts and uncles and brothers up there too that I never met and a sister I never met there as well.

Oh pls pray for my mommy to be strong she wants me cremated she says she can't see them disposing my body any other way but to cremate me and for me to come home then. Even if it's just the cremation and not the urn mommy said she can do that too. But she doesn't think she can do it if she can't get me cremated.

So pls pray that mommy has the strength and if I don't get better then that's what must happen.. I hope some friends read the journal so they can pray. And pls pray for my sisters to be strong also that they will stay strong and hold on when I go to Heaven That they will continue to eat and drink and not hurt too much. Mommy is afraid big time she may lose them after I go through grief so pls pray cause we are all very close and they have still yet to accept Freedom as our sister.

I have but she's too much for me and too hyper pouncing on me at times chasing me at others I'm just too arthritic for that now. Mommy can see the pain in my eyes too. I don't normally scratch or bite but I have been doing that to Freedom.

So pls pray I know Jesus will help mommy and my sisters but she needs prayers.

Thanks
Love always
Bon-Bon Jewel Germiquet
God bless everyone

Journey to Heaven postponed

Hi my good friends.

Well seems like what the vet has said about me improving with the warmer weather has come true.

I am up playing at night time jumping on things no problem at the moment too.
Not in that much pain right now either so I may be able to live most of the summer.

Mommy is going to postpone my journey to Heaven until Freedom's 3rd set of needles now instead of the 2nd set.

She says then hopefully by the time it's my time to take my Heaven Journey that Autumn will have come around and accepted Freedom she still won't play and wants nothing to do with Freedom she just won't accept her. Mommy hopes she does soon and so do I.

Freedom isn't that bad just very frisky and hyper of course though that's cause she is a puppy so she wants to play and doesn't understand that we are cats and don't want to play with her or else that in regards to me can't.

But yes mommy will postpone my Heaven Journey.

Thanks for the prayers they are working to help me stay around for maybe most of another summer even though the heat of mommy's aprt (gets like a greenhouse) puts me into a grandmal seizure most times. I hope this year is different though.

Thanks again
Love you all
take care and God bless
Bon-Bon

a beautiful poem that putter the dog put in a group mail

FROM FRIEND TO FRIEND
You're giving me a special gift,
So sorrowfully endowed,
And through these last few cherished days,
Your courage makes me proud.

But really, love is knowing
When your best friend is in pain,
And understanding earthly acts
Will only be in vain.

So looking deep into your eyes,
Beyond, into your soul,
I see in you the magic, that will
Once more make me whole.

The strength that you possess,
Is why I look to you today,
To do this thing that must be done,
For it's the only way.

That strength is why I've followed you,
And chose you as my friend,
And why I've loved you all these years...
My partner 'til the end.

Please, understand just what this gift,
You're giving, means to me,
It gives me back the strength I've lost,
And all my dignity.

You take a stand on my behalf,
For that is what friends do.
And know that what you do is right,
For I believe it too.

So one last time, I breathe your scent,
And through your hand I feel,
The courage that's within you,
To now grant me this appeal.

Cut the leash that holds me here,
Dear friend, and let me run,
Once more a strong and steady dog,
My pain and struggle done.

And don't despair my passing,
For I won't be far away,
Forever here, within your heart,
And memory I'll stay.

I'll be there watching over you,
Your ever faithful friend,
And in your memories I'll run,
...a young dog once again.