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Faster than a speeding mouse, more scary than a musk ox, it's SPARKMAN!

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Being Nice to Humans?!

April 25th 2007 6:41 am
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Wow, I realized something the other night that is just such a cool thing I thought I'd pass it along for all those other hy-purrr-active ninja kitten goats out there: If you do not bite the humans, they pet you and hug you more! Who knew?! I just was sitting on Mom watching TV, and I forgot to gnaw on her fingers and bunny kick/claw her hands with my back feet... and you know what; she didn't say "SPARKY!!!" and make me go on the floor! I think this is amazing. I mean, they pet me, they hug me, they even do that scratching behind the ear thing that I love! Oh, you gotta try this! Being nice to the humans... who would have thought that was even possible?! Maybe I can get more cat food out of them too.. hrmmmm...



From Behind Closed a Door!

April 27th 2007 7:13 am
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The Captain and I were performing in our daily morning wrestling match, when he up and ran out of the living room. I of course was right at his heals as we dashed over the couch, over Mom and her coffee, over the litter box, over the clothes I pulled off the drying rack, and up and over the vanity in the futon room. (Or as I like to call it-- the Dojo!)

Captain body checked me against the door and I got all Jet Li on him and double pawed his chest off of me. Then there were a few forward and reverse rolls, bunny kicks, quite a few head nips and clawings... At least one Ricki-Oh inspired shriek of rage, and then one of us somehow hit the door to the room in such a way that it started closing... We stepped out of its way and continued our madly skilled wrestling match. Captain rolled on his back with paws outstretched and tail flopping wildly against the floor and closed door, I backed up and ran head first into his stomach! Rawr! We both slid across the floor and into the closing door with a "thud."

We heard a distinctive "click" noise... And then we realized something bad had happened. We had shut and closed the door! The "click" was the latch closing and we were on the WRONG SIDE OF THE CLOSED DOOR! Oh, no.

So we sat there trying to figure out what to do. I wanted to cry pitifully until Mom heard us, but Captain said we had to be brave pirates and ride out the storm. I mean, she can't sit and drink coffee all day. Eventually she'll head to the litter box, and see that the door to the futon room is closed... right?

We sat there forever. I could hear Moose out in the living room "meeping" and getting his belly rubbed. I wanted my belly rubbed! But Moose and Mom were out there, and I was locked in here with a Captain... It was horrible. Captain started getting cabin fever, I started going stir crazy.

Then FINALLY after minutes of being locked away, I heard Mom's feet in the hall. I couldn't take it any more, I let out a pitiful whine for help! MOOOMMMM!!!! She came running over and cracked open the door. She peaked around to see me and the Captain sitting calmly with our eyes wide and excited. She opened the door further and we dashed out! FREEDOM!!!

We immediately restarted the wrestling match when we got back to the living room carpet... Moose headed for higher ground... Beware! Kitten Ninjas on total and complete rampage!!!!


What's WORK?

April 30th 2007 6:23 am
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Oh, no! Mom just sat us down and explained that she's starting her summer job today and that we're all going to be alone for a few days a week... HOW WILL WE SURVIVE?! Alone?!!! I really need my parents here! Who will turn the sink water on and off for me? Who will change my litter box whenever Moose objects? Who will do yoga with Moose? Whose going to walk me on my leash outside? Who will TYPE for me?!!! Oh, no! This might affect my Catster time!... Who will scratch under my chin and pick the couch pillows up when I drop them?!!! Who will let us onto the porch? Who will I play fetch with?!!! Ahhhhh!!!!!!

I'm going to go sit on her so she can't leave us.


Oh, Captain Morgan!!!!

May 4th 2007 6:04 am
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That Captain is just so serious about hunting out the window! I mean, there's GLASS in front of us, Captain! So isn't window hunting just silly? Well, apparently the Captain thinks it's to be taken as serious practice or something... Whatever! He just keeps getting mad at me for chirping under my breath when I see something out the window worth hunting... I think it's his "pet peeve," that is if a pirate can keep anything but a parrot as a pet! Ha ha!

But really, Captain and I are having a blast. He gets mad and then it's a ninja wrestling session all over the house! Rawr! There's always some adventure about when you have a pirate for a brother! Purrs.


Best Mother's Day present ever!!!

May 12th 2007 6:07 am
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Okay, there's been this mouse around the house and our parents didn't even know about it! I mean, how dense are they?! It's in the wall all scratching and squeaking loud as can be! Silly humans.

So almost a week ago, Captain told me that Mother's day is coming up. So I'm all scratching my head with my back foot thinking about it... What do you get a HUMAN for a present anyways?! They don't eat catnip, get mad when you lick their ears out, and most of the things I steal are their socks to begin with.

Then I got the most brilliant idea! I decided to catch, kill, and leave the MOUSE on Mom's pillow!!! I won't go into the details of the slaughtering... Let's just say that they don't call me the six fanged kitten of doom for nothing! Rawr!!! But in the process, I did accidentally bite off and swallow most of the head. Oops.

Then there was the dragging the mouse carcass to the bedroom... Lost the front legs down the hatch there... And then when I got to the bedroom, I could hear Mom in the shower. I thought, where's the harm in having a little fun with my dead mouse first?! My greedy mouth ate the tail and one of the hind legs during that... Hope Mom likes Mouse butt!!

Mom walks in and she's in a towel without her glasses. She's smiling at me. Does she see the mouse?! She was getting clothes on, looked over as I tossed her present around in the air... Look, Mom! It's a FUN thing! She finally put those glasses on and looked over at me with a funny expression.

"Sparky, what toy is that?" I sat proudly by the kill beaming at her. Then suddenly her expression changed to confusion, concern, worry, everything! Mom, you're supposed to be HAPPY! and eat it!!! She grabbed it in a paper towel and threw it out!

But then we got all sorts of hugs and praises; and confessions that we're smarter than them for knowing there was a mouse and taking care of it; and and a whole extra dinner in the middle of the day!!!! It was awesome. I'm totally bringing over any more mice I find to HER side of the bed!!


Captain Morgan is my hero!

May 18th 2007 7:14 am
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Captain caught that stupid chipmunk! I can't believe it! It was amazing, I watched the whole thing from the porch and I am just so lucky to have such a grat hunter for a brother! I was cheering him on saying "bring it inside so we can all eat it!" Moose came over to see the excitement too!

Mom made him let it go. Then he caught it a second time and we're all "GOOOOOOO CAPTAIN!!!!" And I was doing back flips... It was so exciting. When he came in (not voluntarily) Moose and I licked his face all over and purred at him! He was raving mad, but we were so excited. What did it taste like?! Does it have babies for us to eat too?! Was it nice and fat from all those sunflower seeds?! Oh, lucky Captain!!!

We got an extra meal from Mom, and then lots of petting. Morgan wouldn't even let her check his face for scratches. He was so mad at her! I told him he just has to kill and eat them BEFORE she sees! Ha ha!

But now theres a rumor going around the house that I didn't kill that mouse, but just found Captain's kill and was playing with it... Ha! A likely story! I'm just as helpful and brave as the Captain! Watch! I can climb to the top of the fridge!



A GAME!!!!!

May 21st 2007 3:36 pm
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Playing gotcha - the meme game

I have been tagged! That is right I have been tagged by Oly, and Luke to participate in Kazumi Joy's meme.

The rules:
Each player starts with seven random facts about themselves. Cats who are tagged need to write on their own diary about the seven things and the rules. You need to choose seven cats to tag and list their names. Don’t forget to leave them a comment that they have been tagged and to read your diary.

My seven random facts:

1) I love and adore raw potatoes. I keep them as pets and lick them and love them and eat them... hide them under the bathroom carpet until they turn black.

2) I like to steal blankets off of beds to make nests in the hallway.

3) I want to be just like Captain Morgan, I just think he's the coolest, and and and I follow him around all day doing whatever he does.

4) I always have to be the first to use the clean litter box. I even climb in while Mom's pouring in fresh litter.

5) I eat draw strings off of pajamas and barf them on the bathroom carpet.

6) I get the humans to turn on the bathroom sink so I can get a drink by standing in the bathroom and screaming at the top of my lungs.

7) I keep a knitted purple catnip ball in my food dish. If you take it out, I WILL find it and return it to it's proper spot: the food dish.

And here's my friends that I'm tagging!

Morgan the Pirate Gato
Boxie Brown


For my brother Chester...

May 23rd 2007 4:07 pm
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Oh, hey! So my brother Chester got "Tagged" in that game going around! And that's great, but seeing how he doesn't have a diary going... I offered to post his "seven things" for him... so here they are!

Purrs-- Sparkman!

*********************************************** ***************
The rules: Each player starts with seven random facts about themselves. Cats who are tagged need to write in their own diary about the seven things and the rules. You need to choose seven cats to tag and list their names. Don’t forget to leave them a comment that they have been tagged and to read your diary.

7 things about me:

1. I follow Mom around as she gardens, as I always did. I’m a gardener kitten!

2. My favorite peach mousie lives in Mom’s sewing box, where I last left it.

3. I was named by Mom’s friend at the shelter, because the roll call for the shelter was low on “c” names.

4. I have two dots on the sides of my nose that Mom calls my “button holes.” (that’s why she calls me “Chester Button” sometimes!)

5. I snore and purr in my sleep, too! Just like Hugo (who tagged me!)

6. Captain Morgan was scared of me and my brothers when he first met us… Imagine five crazy tiny cats all jumping on you to play wrestle!

7. I used to walk on a leash like a dog with Mom around the neighborhood.

I tag:

Captain Morgan


Oops! Those are NOT mice!

May 25th 2007 6:13 am
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I'm sure you all have this problem and can completely relate to this one! It's really not as bad as Mom makes out! Happens to everyone, right?!

Every time my humans go to bed, even while they're asleep sometimes, these mouse sized bumps scurry around under the covers. It takes all my energy to jump madly around the bed pouncing on them in hopes that they stop. Stop moving under the covers mice! And don't you dare bite my humans!!! Those are MY biting ankles!

This morning Mom was just waking up and I saw those mice moving around the foot of the bed. I got this brilliant idea, I wouldn't just pounce on top of the cover... I'd dive UNDER the cover and get those mice once and for all! HA! Brilliant plan!

So under I dove! And I purred and raced around biting everything that moved! Mom was shrieking, no doubt in delight that I was killing those pesky mice... Then suddenly the blanket was lifted and Mom was glaring at me. What? I blinked innocently at her, and she just kept glaring. I continued to gnaw on the "mouse" I'd caught... When I realized that those aren't mice at all! They're my parents' feet!!! And I just clawed up and chewed on MOM'S FEET!!! Oh, boy! I jumped up and ran as fast as I could out of there... Hope she's not too mad at me... I was just trying to protect her! Silly humans.


Just another night in the life of a goat cat...

May 31st 2007 7:10 am
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Oi! That was the mother of all belly aches! I really do need to cut back on my goat like eating habits... But I really just can not help myself!

It started with a little harmless snacking on the papyrus plant. Then the patch of lawn Mom and Dad brought in for our "greens." Then I got the great idea to eat more seedlings from the cold frame (kinda like a small green house) that Captain Morgan and I collapsed! How were we to know Mom would construct something that Morgan and I couldn't wrestle on top of? Really?! And is it our fault that she left it out where we could do that a second time, breaking her silly cold frame beyond repair? Hey Mom, the porch is for cats to play on; not for growing seeds on!

So I was drooling along towards the cold frame when I found a box of little dirt packs that had failed to sprout. Oh, too fun!!! My favorites are bean sprouts, so I was throwing them around looking for the bean sprouts... Out of luck.

Then I got this great idea! I started carrying the little pods individually into the house and batting them around on that slick hardwood floor! (and onto the carpet and into the bathroom) I chased pounced and swallowed a whole mess of those little dirt packets and left wrappers all over for Mom to find. Spread the rest of the dirt all over the place! Won't Mom and Dad love wall to wall dirt?! That's me, always looking to entertain my bored humans.

Mom and Dad say the dirt and packets and groaned. (Apparently "groan" is human for "yippie!!!") They chased around the dirt and wrappings with that broom toy. That project entertained them for minutes!!!

Mom made dinner and I demanded potato pieces. I sat calmly screaming at her till she delivered on the goods, then screamed for more. All in all I figure I got at least half a raw potato out of her! Score! I like it when she's not paying too much attention to how much potato she gives me!

My stomach was feeling a little full and gas filled. So I paused my eating splurge and skipped dinner... Captain can eat my wet cat food! Dirt and potatoes and papyrus are all so nutritious! After the humans went to bed, I went and chewed a little on one of my toys, swallowing some knitted yarn and a few small sticks I found on the carpet. Good evening snack for a goat... Then I headed for bed.

My stomach was just tossing and turning. Glad I didn't eat dinner! I couldn't get to sleep at all and then I felt that all too familiar feeling for a goat cat, I was about to barf. Better get to the bathroom carpet, the ONLY place to barf! About half way down the hall I spilled a whole pile out. I kept running though and made it into the bathroom at least! Up came the rest. Captain poked his head in the door and obligingly pulled the bathroom carpet over my mess. What a great guy! He really does a great job of taking care of me. Mom said she wasn't too thrilled to find goat barf in the hall, in the middle of the night, and with her bare foot. But she was glad I got all that stuff out of me... Woe is the burden of a goat cat! Life is just so very complex.

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