October 3rd 2012 7:52 am
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Yesterday morning began as any other ordinary day. I woke up Grandma and made her feed me. I slapped Autumn Amelia and hissed at her, my usual morning greeting to my little sisfur. Then I went outside to inspect my territory. Like every morning, I walked through the yard, sniffed the flowers, ate some grass, looked for bugs or rodents to chase, and watched the birds in the neighbor's yard. Ahhh...the good life!
Then it happened. While strolling through my back yard, I picked up the scent of an interloper. It didn't smell good. Suddenly, there he was. A huge dark gray cat with black stripes. Well, not stripes exactly, more like swirls. I've never seen a cat quite like him before, but my cousin, Greyson, assures me that he's probably a Bengal and Greyson should know since he is part Bengal. Anyway, this invader was walking through MY yard as though he owned it. The nerve! The gall!
I went right up to him and asked him just what he thought he was doing in MY yard. I still cannot believe his answer. It defies all rationality. He said, "I'm taking it over. It's my yard now." Just like that! As if he had every right to it! Appalling!
Well, I had a few words for him, I can assure you, and they weren't very welcoming. I told him this is MY yard, MY territory, MY home and that he must leave immediately. His response? "I'll fight you for it." Fight me? Fight me?! "I am the Czarina!" I announced. "This is MY REALM! You have NO business here. Go back where you came from!"
He wouldn't back down. He was out to overthrow my empire. I had no choice but to engage him in battle! It lasted but a split second. Before any damage could be done on either side, Meowmy and Grandma came racing outdoors (they had heard us arguing and, presumably, understood enough feline to know something was wrong) and chased him away. The invader retreated into the woods and I returned to my palace unscathed, but wary.
Autumn Amelia, who was no help at all I might add, was all puffed up like a giant furry balloon as I ran by her and headed for the basement. She was so nervous you would have thought she'd been the one who was confronted with the evil invader. She never even saw him, though she did undoubtedly hear our entire exchange.
I must make it perfectly clear that my running to the basement does not mean that I was afraid or that I was hiding. I am a Czarina after all! No, I was simply removing my royal purrsonage from the view of the lowly servants so that I could collect my thoughts and wash my fur in private. All this I did with Meowmy searching the basement for me, calling my name and sounding terribly worried. Once I was settled, I escaped upstairs without her noticing me, but she found me soon enough and I had to submit to the humiliation of being examined all over to make sure I had no injuries. It was an indignity, but other than a hiss, I offered no resistance since I knew it was being done out of concern for me. At times, we royals must make some concessions to the servants in order to show our benevolence. She must have understood my warning hiss, because she did not take me to the vet. That would have been the last straw! Instead, she told Grandma that I seemed perfectly fine. Well, of course!
I saw no sign of the invader this morning, but I did smell him. He left his scent on the door to my palace. This bears diligent watching. I think he is going to attempt a coup on my palace!
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Wow Czarina! You rock, you hunted the intruder away. You need no army, you are the army yourself. Long live Czarina Smokey, the wise protector of Smokeylandia!
And I shall always be your ally should you ever need my services, Your Majesty.
Oh Czarina! You are the brave guardcat of the palace, a royal and a pirate queen! How dare the invader be so brazen!
How brave you are, Czarina Smokey! I bet you showed that interloper a thing or two! But you shouldn't have to tire yourself out fighting intruders. Just call the humans next time--what are servants for, anyway?
a boy - such unashamed behavior can only be a boy. and boys need showers. lure him into a trap by pretending your realm being left - tell the humans about the plan - let them wait with a loaded water hose. and then... boy gets washed and a lesson!!!
such impertinence to provoke YOU!!!
I am very happy I have such a fearsome ally Czarina Smokey.
That was a great read CS! I cracked up thinkin' 'bout Amelia bowin' up! MOL! :D
Czarina the gal of that interloper tom cat! He obviously didnt know he was intruding in the royal gardens! Girlfriend call me if mew need backup, I am a pro at hissing & pouncing! Just ask my bofur Pete...MOL That silly Autumn Amelia is a big furry blowfish! *Jas rolls over laughing*