November 7th 2007 12:33 am
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Our beloved Smudge OReo-Green O'Rourke left this earthly world today, at approximately 2:15 pm. She was surrounded by her Mother, Father, and Sister. Littlest Brother, Tux, spent the day in the basement, and Youngest Sister, Gem, stayed at our Mother's house.
Our brave warrior cat remained peaceful and dignified to the end, when she was relieved from her pain by Dr. Sam and his assistant. This special arrangement was made at 9:00 am, by our Dad, and accommodated by the Bridle Trail Veterinary Clinic.
Upon completing my last diary entry for Smudge, I dragged out the sleeping bag from the basement at 1:00 am, and laid it on the floor of our computer room. I eventually fell asleep in the early morning hours, with my loving Sister at my feet.
I am so honoured to have been in receipt of her unwavering loyalty, during our last night together. I feel so fortunate to have been able to tell her everything I had to say, as we spent the afternoon lying under our Dad's writing desk.
The O'Rourke family wore articles of green clothing, as a sign of support and solidarity for our sparkling Smudge OReo-Green. Around my neck, I wore a limestone arrowhead that I purchased in Dublin, Ireland, which will always remind me of my Sister's virtues.
Somehow, we all found the strength to watch Smudge from the doorway, as she was tenderly released into the spirit world. Mom and I had not been able to do so when it was Kamara's time, but we had Dad with us for greater strength.
When Dr. Sam and his assistant had their instruments laid out before her, Smudge looked up at our Mom and gave her the very last "Meow". We believe that she knew exactly what was happening, and assured us that she would be alright.
Our loving Girl went to heaven ever so peacefully, on the sleeping bag I had slept in. I believe the power of everyone's combined prayers and love made this an easy transition for Smudge, and provided a great sense of relief to our family.
The vet assistant gave me the shaved pieces of Tortoiseshell fur, which was shaved from her paw. It is now in a sealed bag, where I can find little bits of her dandruff.
The song on her Catster page, 'The Sea of Love', was chosen as it was on the radio before it was time to part. As she lay on the hallway rug, I sang the lyrics into her ear, as I had done in healthier times. Smudge always responded positively whenever I sang to her, even after she lost her hearing.
The final thing I requested of my devoted Sister was spoken with much belief and hope. I asked her to wait for me, because I would be there to meet her in heaven one day.
Until that day, I'll walk around the house, gazing at her favourite spots. I have found myself looking over my shoulder in disbelief that she is not resting nearby. I feel as if she will walk into the room, from her bed in the kitchen, and meow at me beside the computer. I want so much to place my arms around her, and kiss the spot in between her ears. I wish that she would come back to us, but I know that it will be me who will one day be going to her.
With tears this evening, I visited Smudge's Catster page and found that the video titled "Requesting Purrs (11/4/07)" was missing, whilst "Kitchen Smudge" was in place. I had previously contemplated removing it from the main page, as I did not want vibrant Smudge to be remembered that way. Minutes later, I revisited this page again only to find that the video of Smudge in ill health was back up. I'm not certain what this means, but I will take it as a sign that my Sister is alright.
I think I will leave the video in tact, as I do not have very many for Internet use. Her final days were also a part of her amazing life, so I do not feel that it is necessary to be discarded.
Our precious Tortuga, you sleep with the angels tonight, and know how sorely you are missed and how deeply you are loved with every chamber of my heart.
I would like to thank my Mom and Dad for their love for their children, both flesh and fur. Although, I do not know how I can ever thank them enough. Thank you to humorous Gem and baby Tux, for whom I rely on to mend the hurt. Also, thank you to all of the Catster families out there, who have been an extension to our very small family. It may take months to repay all those rosettes and stars, but I will make it my mission to do so.
Rest forever in eternal grace, dignity, and peace. We love you for all eternity,
Smudge OReo-Green O'Rourke
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Thinking of you on your Rainbow Bridge Day Smudge. You were a lucky kitty to have found such a loving furrever home. Mommy and me watched your video clip when you weren't feeling well, and mommy cried! She has gone through the same thing with kitties of her own.
Many purrs to you and your furmily. Until you meet again.....
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