September 29th 2007 5:03 am
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A note from Mosey's Dad:
Late on the evening of the 12th September, Moses went 'walkabout' while he was on holiday near Preston, Lancashire and hasn't been seen since. I was on holiday and Mosey was being looked after by an old friend whom he knew well, and has stayed with before. Searching has produced no result, but we wait in anticipation that he may have missed me and is looking for me. I've heard tales of cats turning up at an address months after they went walkabout, and I hope this is what the little beggar is up to. We're ever hopeful, because we miss him... so watch this space.
Update (26th October 2007)
Our little boy has returned! As I'd hoped, he apparently has gone out at night and got lost. While wandering about he's recognised where we used to live in the town, and started knocking on the door to be fed. My old neighbour (bless her), fed him for a day or so until I could get up there to pick him up.
So, if your baby wanders ~ never give up hope!
April 8th 2006 5:59 am
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I suppose at some time or another, kittens will be watching this site with their families. Here is some advice for you young shavers that has served me well while training my humans...
Always accompany guests to the bathroom. It is not necessary to do anything. Just sit and stare.
Do not allow any closed doors in any room. To get door open, stand on hind legs and hammer with forepaws. Once door is opened, it is not necessary to use it. After you have ordered an "outside" door opened, stand halfway in and out and think about several things. This is particularly important during very cold weather, rain, snow, or midgey season... (mosquitoes to kittens from the New World)
CHAIRS AND RUGS:
If you have to throw up, get to a chair quickly. If you cannot manage that in time, get to an Oriental rug. If there is no Oriental rug, shag is good. When throwing up on the carpet, make sure you back up so it is as long as a human bare foot.
HAMPERING: If one of your humans is engaged in some activity and the other is idle, stay with the busy one. This is called "helping," otherwise known as "hampering." Following are the rules for "hampering:"
1) When supervising cooking, sit just behind the left heel of the cook. You cannot be seen and thereby stand a better chance of being stepped on and then picked up, comforted and given a treat.
2) For book readers, get in close under the chin, between eyes and book, unless you can lie across the book itself.
3) For paperwork, lie on the work in the most appropriate manner so as to obscure as much of the work as possible or at least. Pretend to doze, but every so often reach out and slap the pencil or pen.
4) For people paying bills or working on income taxes or Christmas cards, keep in mind the aim: to hamper! First, sit on the paper being worked on. When dislodged, watch sadly from the side of the table. When activity proceeds nicely, roll around on the papers, scattering them to the best of your ability. After being removed for the second time, push pens, pencils, and erasers off the table, one at a time.
5) When a human is holding the newspaper in front of him or her, be sure to jump on the back of the paper. Humans love to be surprised like this.
6) When human is working at computer, jump up on desk, walk across keyboard, bat at mouse pointer on screen and then lay in human's lap across arms, hampering typing in progress.
As often as possible, dart quickly and as close as possible in front of the human, especially on stairs, when they have something in their arms, in the dark, and when they first get up in the morning. This will help their coordination skills.
Always sleep on the human at night so he or she cannot move around.
When using the litter box, be sure to kick as much litter out of the box as possible. Humans love the feel of kitty litter between their toes.
Every now and then, hide in a place where the humans cannot find you. Do not come out for three to four hours under any circumstances. This will cause the humans to panic (which they love) thinking that you have run away or are lost. Once you do come out, the humans will smother you with love and kisses and you will probably get a treat.
ONE LAST THOUGHT:
Whenever possible, get close to a human, especially their face, then turn around, and present your butt to them. Humans love this, so do it often.... and don't forget guests. Hope this helps you, you guys.
December 4th 2005 3:43 pm
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Some people say cats never have to be bathed. They say we lick ourselves clean. They say we have a special enzyme of some sort in our saliva that works like New, Improved Wisk - dislodging the dirt where it hides and whisking it away.
Daddy spent most of his life believing this folklore. Like most blind believers, he’s been able to discount all the facts to the contrary – my kitty odors that lurk in the corners of the garage and dirt smudges that cling to the throw rug by the fireplace.
The time comes, however, when Daddy faces reality; when he must look squarely in the face of massive public sentiment to the contrary and announce: "This cat smells like a port-a-potty on a hot day in Juarez."
When that day arrives at your house, as it has in mine, I have some advice you might consider as you place your feline friend under your arm and head for the bathtub:
· Know that although we as cats have the advantage of quickness and lack of concern for human life, you have the advantage of strength. Capitalize on that advantage by selecting the battlefield. Don't try to bathe your cat in an open area where he can force you to chase him.
· Pick a very small bathroom. If your bathroom is more than four feet square, I recommend that you get in the tub with your cat and close the sliding-glass doors as if you were about to take a shower. (A simple shower curtain will not do. A berserk cat can shred a three-ply rubber shower curtain quicker than a politician can shift positions.)
· Know that we have claws and will not hesitate to remove all the skin from your body. Your advantage here is that you are smart and know how to dress to protect yourself. We as cats recommend canvas overalls tucked into high-top construction boots, a pair of steel-mesh gloves, an army helmet, a hockey facemask and a long-sleeve flak jacket.
· Prepare everything in advance. There is no time to go out for a towel when you have a cat digging a hole in your flak jacket. Draw the water. Make sure the bottle of kitty shampoo is inside the glass enclosure. Make sure the towel can be reached, even if you are lying on your back in the water.
· Use the element of surprise. Pick up your cat nonchalantly, as if to simply carry him to his supper dish. (We will not usually notice your strange attire. We have little or no interest in fashion as a rule. If we do notice your garb, calmly explain that you are taking part in a product-testing experiment for J.C. Penney, or Marks & Spencer.)
· Once you are inside the bathroom, speed is essential to survival. In a single liquid motion, shut the bathroom door, step into the tub enclosure, slide the glass door shut, dip the cat in the water and squirt him with shampoo.
You have begun one of the wildest 45 seconds of your life. We have no handles. Add the fact that he now has soapy fur, and the problem is radically compounded. Do not expect to hold on to him for more that two or three seconds at a time. When you have him, however, you must remember to give him another squirt of shampoo and rub like crazy. He'll then spring free and fall back into the water, thereby rinsing himself off. (The national record is -- for cats -- three latherings, so don't expect too much.)
· Next, your cat must be dried. Novice cat bathers always assume this part will be the most difficult, for humans generally are worn out at this point and the cat is just getting really determined. In fact, the drying is simple compared to what you have just been through. That's because by now your cat will be semi permanently affixed to your right leg. You simply pop the drain plug with your foot, reach for your towel and wait. (Occasionally, however, your cat will end up clinging to the top of your army helmet. If this happens, the best thing you can do is to shake him loose and to encourage him toward your leg.) After all the water is drained from the tub, it is a simple matter to just reach down and dry the cat.
In a few days your cat will relax enough to be removed from your leg. He will usually have nothing to say for about three weeks and will spend a lot of time sitting with his back to you. He might even become psycho ceramic and develop the fixed stare of a plaster figurine.
You will be tempted to assume he is angry. This isn't usually the case. As a rule we are simply plotting ways to get through your defenses and injure you for life the next time you decide to give us a bath. But, at least now he smells a lot better.