January 2nd 2015 5:49 pm
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Mom was accepted into a program for Counseling today for graduate school. Its something she dreamed of, and now, its also a way she can help other people who have been through hard things like she has.
Mom is happy about it, but sad too - for all the pain and suffering it took to get this far.
Mom misses me and I really, really miss Mom! But hope someday Mom will make it better for other women who won't have to give their fur babies away just so they can escape trouble and live, and move on with their lives.
Some sacrifices are too painful, even when survival depends upon it.
I love you Mom - and I know you love me! Good luck and please make the world a better place for us all, if you can.
January 1st 2015 6:32 pm
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This may be the last entry. Everything has changed now in Mom's life and mine too.
Mom is a recovering victim of Domestic Abuse. People do not understand domestic abuse - there are all sorts of misconceptions about it. There is terrible discrimination out there for those who go through it too.
Mom has been a victim of this horrible discrimination and her life has been terribly damaged. While we lived in Colorado Springs, she tried so hard to put her life back together.
She finally found some help for this in another city. My feline sister Amber crossed over to the Rainbow Bridge after a very severe stroke.
And then my life changed too, because Mom's life was going so badly.
Mom does not deserve blame because she had to take me back to the No Kill shelter she once adopted me from. Mom used to volunteer there too, so fortunately she saw somebody she knew who worked there, and that person promised to find me a good home.
I know it broke Mom's heart to do this. But she was living in place where she was sick, and many people hurt her and discriminated against her, and every attempt she made to improve and change and rebuild her life, was destroyed.
Mom took me back to the no kill shelter because she had to move out of the apartment building she was in. There were many problems there, and Mom's life in Colorado Springs was much too hard.
Mom could not keep living like this, and so it broke Mom's heart in a million and one pieces to ask the shelter to find me a good home. They did promise they would and it was a no kill shelter - Mom made sure that's where she returned me (it was where I came from originally).
For a while, good friends of Mom's let her housesit a condo so she would have shelter. But then she needed to move away from Colorado Springs. Colorado Springs was also near Mom's ex husband, and that also made for terrible problems.
You see, domestic abuse is a terrible thing. Mom was married 20 years. Mom has a Bachelor's degree, speaks and writes various levels of 6 languages, she has all kinds of varied work experience, including teaching in the past several years.
But whenever she tries to get ahead, or applies to schools or tries to work into anything which would improve her life - she finds doors slammed shut in her face.
The reason is because Mom did not realize that there is horrible stigma and misunderstanding and misconceptions and something called "victim-blaming" that happens for survivors of Domestic Abuse.
In some states there are laws which prevent it, but there aren't many such laws in Colorado.
Mom has moved now to another place, which she won't talk about and won't list here. She hopes she can live her life freely and she hopes that she can fight discrimination and move forward with her life.
Her qualifications are excellent. Mom is still a very capable lady. She is trying to go back to school again. The last time she tried it, a professor gathered information about Mom and some things were done to hurt Mom in that school. So she withdrew from that school and will never recommend it to anybody.
Mom is tired of failure. She is not yet sure what to do, but she wants it known out there that love and violence are not the same thing. And violence also takes many forms.
Abusers are power hungry controllers. They are not content to just love a person and have a nice life with them. They want total control and to manipulate and hurt the indivdual they are connected with.
Abusers know nothing about love. The object of their abuse is simply their target. They abuse because they have no self esteem and belittling and hurting another is their only way to feel a little bit good about themselves - which is very, very sick!
Mom did not want the abuse - she did not ask for it. And when she obtained a legal divorce, she just wanted to rebuild and move on with her life in peace.
This has been impossible because there are so many misconceptions that women who are abused cause it - or ask for it - and this is absolute hogwash! It keeps women from being able to rebuild lives and get away from abuse.
So here are links about domestic abuse. It hurt my Mom more than you can ever know - she is still trying to put her life back together and hopes to have success before she goes to the Rainbow Bridge too.
Please read these articles. Victims are not to be blamed. Mom did not know her husband would hurt her (and us too!). Mom never asked for this - she just wants to live a life and help other people who go through this now.
Please read: http://thinkprogress.org/economy/2013/06/20/2190691/domestic -violence-employment-discrimination/.
http://thinkprogres s.org/economy/2013/10/15/2778931/california-domestic-violenc e-employment-law/.
http://www.mondaq. com/unitedstates/x/231896/Discrimination+Disability+Sexual+H arassment/EEOC+Warns+Employers+Against+Domestic+Violence+Dis crimination.
Churches hurt Mom too. In fact, some of the worst hurt since Mom's divorce, has come from churches. Mom is a Christian. She loves people because God loved her - but churches are some of the worst when it comes to discrimination due to domestic abuse.
Mom thinks she may have now found a denomination which is a little more accepting and may allow her to worship and serve in a Christian church. But she is not yet sure, and if they know about what happened to Mom - who knows if they will hurt her too. But time will tell - Mom is still figuring it out and so far, it is going ok. (so maybe this is getting better?)
Mom also has some legal help now too. That was one thing she lacked, and so she was unable to fight the discrimination without it. Now, she has legal help so if her ex husband bothers her - she can set it straight within the law. And she is keeping records now about discrimination, and will see if she can force people to just treat her like they do everybody else.
Mom hates resorting to that - but she felt it was the only way, because no other means of reasoning with people has worked. Its very sad that legal means is the only way to fight to just live a life in peace and even live a life to help other people!
These are only a few articles about domestic abuse. Mom is living in an undisclosed location now, so she can just live. That's all - she just wants a life - she wants friends - she wants to work with her qualifications she has worked so very hard to have - and she really, really wants to stop domestic abuse and help others who go through it.
Mom found some good support in another place. But she is afraid to trust too much or tell her story too much. Mom was a nice, caring lady. Professional counselors said Mom needed to recover from abuse, and she has worked very hard to do this. Mom is alone an awful lot now, and that is very difficult for anybody - particularly my Mom because she is such a nice, caring, loving lady who used to really enjoy friends and people.
Mom's story is complex because this was not the first time she was abused. In Mom's case, abuse was a theme in her life and there were earlier instances. This was also used against Mom, but now it is coming out from professionals that Mom just needed to understand why the abuse happened, to learn how to avoid it in the future, and to heal from the current consequences of it.
People can recover from abuse, but it takes very, very hard work. And it takes a "fighter' of a person too, because there is so much discrimination used against an individual who is trying to change their life in a positive manner.
Mom's family does not even know or understand because so much of this occurred in places far away from them. This has also been very hurtful to my Mom. My Mom has a complicated story, and is trying so very hard to recover from it all!
Mom just hopes that people will read the articles - that they will learn more about domestic abuse, and that people will start to be kind to people who go through this, and allow them to rebuild their lives. Mom wants to make a difference - because domestic abuse almost destroyed Mom.
And I can tell you from living with Mom, she is and was a very loving Mom to me and my fur sister, and a very kind and good lady. Nobody should have ever hurt my Mom - nobody should ever hurt anybody!
Mom has gone through absolute hell on earth. She deserves the utmost respect because she has, and she has survived it all, through terrible trials, and also sometimes her ex husband still seeks her out - instead of moving on with his own life and leaving her alone like she wants. (another mark of abuse).
People should respect one another. Mom has every right to live as normally as anybody. She escaped the abuse - but often, she is still discriminated against and not given the same chances as everybody else.
Mom just wants the very same consideration as everybody else. She wants respect for the pain she has been put through. And more than anything, Mom wants to enter an occupation to help others who have gone through this too - but so far, Mom may be experiencing some discrimination here too.
Domestic abuse is horrible. Power and control over a person are WRONG. Love does not know power or control - love simply wants the best for the person loved. Domestic abuse knows no best - it destroys. Mom is a very honest, nice lady who has been supportive of the students she teaches and she just wants to help others now - but she still is hurt sometimes because of what she went through.
There is a lot of wrong in the world. Please read the articles and educate yourselves about Domestic Abuse. It is a terrible evil which has almost destroyed my Mom - but not quite - because she won't allow it to.
One more thing: Mom really, really loved me and Ashira, my fur sister. Mom loved us more than anything with all her heart - but she could not keep living so alone and with her ex husband bothering her all the time, making her worried and sick, and she was no longer able to take care of me.
I understand but I miss Mom so much! And I know she misses me with all her heart! I know she cries whenever she thinks of me and Ashira and her life before - and I am sure sometimes she tries not to think about it - it hurts too much.
August 22nd 2013 8:29 am
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Life has been pretty good lately and a whole lot different than it was. I have to get used to Mom working more. This week she worked a couple of times - next week she is almost scheduled solid except Tuesday when she has an appointment to go to.
So what do I do while Mom is teaching school all day? Hmmm - anything I want! hehe :)
Mom has no idea of all the mischief I'm into all day long!
But when she comes home, there I am at the door, saying hello to her (which Mom says I literally do since I "talk" - sort of a fun thing I do that Mom likes). :)
It gets sort of lonely with Mom working a lot but on days off, when she does have them, she plays and snuggles with me and we make up for it!
Anyway, she says she's earning the "cat food money" - so how can I argue with that??