July 16th 2006 12:03 pm
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Lots of changes here on the home front, my friends. The One and The Other One are livin' in Splitsville, both dogs have gone to that big boneyard in the sky, and I have been a cranky Frankie I hate to tell ya. Although The Other One rescued me and gave me this great life, I am a one-human cat and I was attached to The One. Ever since The One moved out, I've been miserable.
Fortunately, The Other One was smart enough and sensitive enough to notice and put my needs first--the other day I rode in the snazzy red car and here I am sleeping under the covers at night with The One. Tiek came with me so I've still got my bro. Ha ha, Jack, you can't get us here!!
The down side is that The One doesn't play on Catster, so you probably won't be hearing much from me from now on.
A big shout out to all my Catster friends, especially Shmool and Shyla and Mr. Cain. Thanks for all the treats. Goodbye and good hunting!
April 5th 2006 11:32 am
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I'm a travelin' man
And I've made a lot of stops all over the world
And in every port I own the heart
Of at least one lovely girl...
Oh yeah, Sunday evening I went on a little walkabout. First, I headed down the alley, checked out some sweet spots, said hello to the little gal down the street. Then I carefully strolled past Barky in his prison yard, making him set off with quite the ruckus. The next house has a garage with a hole cut in it for cats to go in and out…that’s where I usually find a few rat carcasses lying about. Smelly little tavern, that.
I snuck through Landscape Jack’s and crossed the street. Over to Georgie’s Fuchsia Farm to see if there was anything good in the shed. Nada.
I heard the Human calling, so I started making my way back home. But then I saw something out of the corner of my eye in somebody’s garage. I went in to check it out and :o the door closed. Spit. So I found a pile of tarps in the corner and bedded down for the night. Good thing I ate before I left home, but there was no litter box in there so oops.
Next morning I could hear the Human calling me again. Shaddup, already, I’m trying to sleep! Can’t do nothing about it. I got a little hungry, and it was dark in that garage, damp too because it was drizzling rain. Spent the whole day in there without even a deck of cards to play Solitaire.
Good thing it was finally Monday night, people all down the alley pulled their garbage and recycling out to be picked up in the morning. These folks finally got on it and opened that garage door and I took my opportunity! I waltzed in through the cat door and the Human was all over me…"Oh, where have you been?!" Snot and eye dribble coming off her face; disgusting. Got some treats and out I went again. Still, it’s good to be home and good to be free and good to bite the hand that feeds you.
March 14th 2006 7:19 pm
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It was near-dawn, and I felt the need for a Hunt. I sat on the porch, observing my surroundings for any indication of prey or predator. I decided to tackle the side perimeter first, but only found Jack’s father next door. Fat-a$$ couldn’t catch a cold. Like father, like son.
Next, I patrolled out front. Nothing there, so I retraced my steps and slithered back under the fence. Fresh indications of Female Dog in the yard, even though she apparently was bouncing around in the house for her breakfast. I would catch my breakfast this morning and damn the Fools who think I would fall for simple treats.
Under the back gate I went, first crouching low to observe for any signs of potential enemies. And then I heard it: the soft rustling of prey in the leaves. My ears pricked and twitched, my tail flicked back and forth as I set my bearings. Now I could pick up its scent. It was there, oh yes, some varmint moving in the brush completely unaware of its impending doom.
I honed in, my compass fully calibrated, my feet gauging distance, trajectory and required velocity.
THEN I WAS UPON IT! The little Beast was in my mouth, squirming against my feline dentition! Quick—what to do? Up over the gate, of course, to the safety of the house where I could enjoy my little prize. I flew up the walkway past Jack and Heidi, up the steps, and through the swinging barrier that lets cats in and keeps dogs out.
Now, let’s drop it and see what it does. Let’s play with it to get its juices flowing. LOOK, HUMAN, look what I have wrought! Oh yes, Jack can have his little furry mouses, but I have brought you the Real Deal--a Living, Breathing Toy.
Cute? What do you mean, “it’s cute.” It is food, born to live a short life with a quick death. And I am its instrument of destiny. Praise me if you will, for I am Panther.
(Transcriber's note: no animals were actually hurt in this event; the little mouse was caught and released in the wilds of the alley. ^..^)