November 26th 2013 11:19 pm
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Zoom! Zoom! Zooom! and occasionally thud, crash, kaboom!
Through the house with the speed of light a trio of tiny tornadoes streak, jumping, bouncing, pivoting on a dime to reverse direction, only to fly through the house in the opposite direction. Quite often they manage to knock over the trash can or jump up on something that's not solid and bring things down with them as their failed jump lands them back on the floor where they started.
I'm supposed to be the Queen of the house but these three interlopers have totally upset my castle. I must admit I'm floundering a bit in my attempt to regain control. The kittens have absolutely no respect for my status. Gasp! There have been some kitty whispers around here that the real queens of the house are Splats and Carina and that I'm only a princess waiting in line for their shared throne.
Walk through the house at your own risk, for lurking around any corner, under any table, in any doorway is likely to be a miniature tiger flattened out in a crouch, eyes intensely full of anticipation, rears occasionally quivering with excitement, all ready to explode in a mock-fierce lionlike charge toward the prey. By the way, the prey is any cat or human who happens to come along at the right time.
Like releasing a coiled spring, a kitten launches himself at a moving human leg, forelegs poised to embrace the victim's ankle. The kitten grabs the ankle, gives a nicely inhibited playful nip at it, then races off in the opposite direction thinking he's going to manage to hide before the human sees him. Should the victim be feline, the kitten launches himself at the victim's neck, playfully wrapping his forepaws around the neck and biting at the side of the victim's neck in an attempt to pull the victim down. The result of such a mock attack on a feline victim is that the attacker either gets hissed at and swatted or should the victim be tolerant, he/she may merely shake the kitten off and stroll noncholantly on as if nothing happened. Unfortunately, even if you hiss at the kittens the next time you stroll through the house you're likely to be a target of their mischief again.
I'm finding it hard to outdo the kittens in the mischief department! Although I still hold the record for being able to scissor a cord in two with my teeth in milliseconds (providing Mom hasn't cheated and put Bitter Apple on it), the kittens now are trying to chew cords too. Go get your own acts, brats. Chewing cords is MY claim to fame (or infamy).
When I go to beg or attempt to steal food from Mom, I usually also have to fight off at least two of the three little terrors and sometimes they steal the tidbit from me. I'm a lady in that I may hiss and swat air but I won't actually hit a kitten unless it hurts me first and even then I'm careful to keep my claws sheathed.
Worst of all, when I have to suffer the indignity of being hounded by these three juvenile delinquents, certain other cats sit, watch, and actually SNICKER at me, "Hey Uno, remember what they say about paybacks?"
Now what reason would another cat have to say that about me?
How can I regain proper control of my castle?
October 20th 2013 11:21 pm
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Three little kittens,
To adult cats are pestilence,
As they run, jump, bounce, and play,
They stalk us across the floors,
Ambush us behind the doors,
And they keep getting in our way!
Those three little kittens are taking entirely too much attention away from us civilized grown-up cats. Today that little black and white monster named Moo even tried to copy me by trying to chew Mom's laptop cord. Go think up your own ways to get attention, Moo! Don't copy mine!
Mom has no sympathy for us either. She says we were all kittens at one time and quite bratty kittens too. She told Righty, Lefty, and me that she even had written her own Three Little Kittens rhyme for us after we grew up. It goes:
Three little kittens lost more than their mittens,
Each could only partially see,
One 2 weeks, two 4 weeks,
How lucky they turned out to be,
Rescued just in time,
They learned how to cope,
to live life to the fullest
& they happily grew up just fine!
October 16th 2013 2:48 pm
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Lately the house has become infested with a type of vermin I've never dealt with before. These pests run all over the place, get into everything, and drive most of us cats crazy. If you're sitting watching out the window and you twitch your tail, WATCH OUT! One of those pests is likely to attack your tail! When you hiss at it, it will back down temporarily but then if you twitch your tail again, the pest is right back to pouncing on your tail again!
The other day I was trying to get myself a drink of water when one of those little pests bounced on my neck and splashed water all over me. Boy was I mad! But by the time I got turned around to hiss at the little monster and give it a good swat, it had already barreled halfway across the kitchen floor.
I went in to the front room where our food is and there was one of those little vermin, playing in OUR cat food! Mom even caught him in the act and took a picture to prove it! At least Mom isn't feeding good canned cat food to those vermin anymore. For awhile, Mom treated them like they were something special, feeding them canned cat food. Now she's making them eat dry cat food like us cats have to do.
These vermin also won't leave our toys alone. It's bad enough when Destiny tries to steal our toys when she goes through the living room. Now these three little pests steal our toys, play with them, and then the pests lose our toys in all sorts of places too small even for us cats to get into! As if that wasn't bad enough, the vermin can also get into places too small for us cats to fit into.
Worst of all, Aurora, a new cat here, actually LIKES those three little vermin monsters! She washes them, takes care of them, and lets them climb all over her. At least she tells them off when they get too rough with her. And if they pester one of us too much and we try to take a serious swat at it, it will run to Aurora and she actually will protect the little monster!
Yeah I know, these vermin are supposed to be a creature of the kind called kittens. Mom says they will someday turn into cats like us. However, I don't see how anything that acts like them could ever turn into a civilized intelligent CAT! At least I'm still the queen of chewing things. Destiny hasn't even outdone me in that department yet!