January 8th 2013 1:57 pm
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Today Momma hugged me and told me she loved me. So I asked Momma 'If you love me so much, why am I up for adoption, Momma?
And Momma told me this:
'Calvin, you are a baby...you're very young, and you're precious and adorable. I love you so much...and I won't let you go to anyone but someone who will love you as much as I do, as dad does. But I know that you're a 'Star'. You're funny, engaging and precious. You swagger through the house like you've always lived here. And considering that you didn't have a great start to life that says alot."
And I said 'Momma, if that is true, don't you want to keep me?" and she kissed my face and said 'Of course I want to keep you! But I took you on, young man, because I knew you could find the best home ever. And if this happens to be it, that is great! But there may be a person out there, Calvin, maybe someone who's beloved cat has flown off to the Bridge, who has another little kitty or two to play with, who is missing having another fur...and will see your picture and go: 'Thats HIM! Look, That's HIM! He must come home to us!" And that person will meet you and your hearts will leap toward one another and you will know...you will know, Calvin, that you are home!"
"But I am home, Momma! I don't want to go!"
And Momma smiled sadly. "No. Not right now. And you may not want to then, for that little while. But you'll know, Calvin, that it's where you were meant to be when you get there."
"But I love you, Momma!"
"I love you Calvin. I love you enough to want the best for you...and that may be here-or with someonee else, where you will have so many wonderful times. And you'll forget, Calvin, what it was like to live here. You'll remember only that you were loved alot by me, and daddy and the Ridgewood Clowder. You'll remember you Have People. And you have a Clowder. And you'll remember a happy kittenhood with brofurs....but you'll be so happy you'll not be sad, I promise. And if that doesn't happen, you'll stay here. Because we love you alot."
And I thought this over-it was a very heavy thought for a very little cat. And Midnight was batting my tail anyways. And then I said. "And if I get a new family, Momma, what will you do without me? Will you cry?"
"I'll cry alot, Calvin. I'll cry and miss you alot. But you know your people will send pictures of you doing funny things, and having a splendid time as just who you are. And then, Calvin, I'll be going through the sad lists of cats that face death...and I will email the rescue we work with and I will say 'we will foster him' about a cat with sad, fearful eyes.' And so, Calvin, that cat will come to live here, to rest, to feel everyone out, til they are safe, and purring and happy. Every night I look at the cats there...and wish Calvin that we had a house and enough of everything to save them all. My heart breaks for them, Calvin."
"Oh Momma! I don't want them to be killed! Please don't let them do that!"
And Momma's eyes were leaking. She hugged me again. "Oh, Calvin, I wish that with all my heart that everone who could would foster...and then none would be. But we do what we can."
Momma and I were both quiet. I licked at her tears. I purred. And I watched as the sun slowly, slowly began to go down over the trees outside and the room got dark.
Smokie came up and purred beside us. He was so important, a real silvery cat with a deep purr.
"What is it Calvin?" he asked when he saw that I was sad.
"I want to make Momma happy, Smokieboo. I want to save the kitties at the places..."
He saw my look. His green eyes grew thoughtful.
"You can." he breathed softly....'you can."
"How, Smokie?" I asked, for it was obvious he was a cat who Knew.
"Purr, little one. Purr and Purr and Purr."
"And how to I make Momma not sad, Smokieboo?"
Smokie's eyes were half mast.
"You simply Be, little one. Simply Be."
"Be? Be What?" I asked, not understanding.
"Be Yourself. And let the Magick flow. You're named after a Great, after all."
And I sat up and purred and wondered if Calvin could hear me.
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Awwww. Too sweet.
Clavin, yous and yous moms make dis old cat's heart glad.
Bless yous all
Aww Calvin, you are so special! Purrs from us too!
Purrs from me and Charlie!
I'm watching over you, pal, and just between you and me, I'll be purring that you get to stay right where you are!
aww sweet kitty we all hope you get the purrrrfect home and if it is right where you are that would be great but if it is as your mommma says and you are to help another hoooman with the loss of their fur baby then we purr for peace to your and your family.