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This Is My New Diary by Barney Joe Thunderbear

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LIFE in a HOUSEFUL of ANIMALS---by Barneby Jones Thunderbear- the Lion-Hearted

February 17th 2013 8:37 am
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Dear Diary,
Well, life is going along pretty good these days, *knock on wood*. IF you discount the shananigans of the *dogs*, the rest of the Thunderbear cats, and of course the silliness of Freddy Mercury Thunderbear the White, my sort-of brother. He has taken to lying about nonchalantly and then swiping the ankles of whichever human walks past him. And with CLAWS!! Mommi, rightly so, does not understand this behaviour, and although de-clawing would cure Freddy M. from this activity, Mommi & them are stricly agains this practice. Long ago, when my uncle Opie Thunderbear was ill (all his life) with Crohn's disease, they had to have him declawed as they were having to give him medicines all his laif, and he would tear whatever human was administering said meds, to the point he was literally impossible. Mommi has always felt guilty about this de-clawing of Opie, but she and Ro felt like there was just no other way, as they tried all manner of methods of restraining him, including nearly sitting on him, and he was traumatized every time. *sigh*. Well, anyway, they did the best they could. As for Freddy Mercury (he now calls himself "Freddy Mercury the Wise" something I will cure him of as soon as I can pounce on and thrummel him soundly) attacking ankles just seems to be something he loves, and Mommi told Ro, "We COULD wear some sort of armor on our legs and feet, like combat boots." They have already tried thick socks, and Freddy just gets hung up on the socks and falls into a mad frenzy of panic. As of now, they are at a loss as to what to do. And actually, the band-aids on their legs and feet sorta temper the blows....



January 31st 2013 8:51 am
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Dear diary,
I don't know who Mommi thinks she is, But She Had Better Watch Out! (as my daddy used to say :)---but she had better get with program and bring on the Fancy Feast---I got some for a few days there, and now she is trying to tell me she has run out. I say Run Out and Get More!! *hmph*. Like I can subsist on dry food. She pulled another mean trick on me the other week when she gave me some tasty bites of boiled chicken. Then I didn't get anymore as it ran out and I wondered how hard can it be to catch a running chicken?
SO, today I come into the kitchen looking at her expectantly, and what does she do? Well, I happen to like my water with ICE IN IT, so, wrongly reading my mind, she got me a fresh bowl of water with ice cubes that fall out of the refrigerator and she put water in (it falls out of the refrigerator too--you just put a bowl or something under it and it comes out!) and gave me it. Well, I cannot resist ice--my uncle Opie (r.i.p) was the same way. So I lapped happily away at my water (Opie used to sort of circle the bowl with the water in it, then get all positioned in front of it, then delicately lap it up--Mommi says it was hilarious, you would think he was eating cavier, whatever that is).
HOWEVER---I will wait patiently for some Fancy Feast but it had better be forthcoming by tomorrow sometime....
Yours truly,
Barney Joe the Hungry


ENOUGH WITH THE JINGLE BELLS!! ---(^..^)-- BJT, December, 28, 2012

December 28th 2012 10:58 am
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Well, I don't know who Mommi thinks she is, but she Had Better Watch It! (as my Daddy Joe Thunderbear used to say). She STILL has these four jingle bells attached to my *pink* collar (yes it's pink with little diamond-like thingies--she says the color goes good with my fur color which is "champagne". Or "blonde". Good grief, I need a manly color name. Anyways.) SO, Christmas is over, and we got TREATS! Some kind of wonderful little plastic things with yummy fishy stuff in 'em. After I ate mine, I found some extra ones up on the kitchen counter and pawed at them till I got one little container loose and pawed at it till I got it knocked off onto the floor, and before I could do further damage, meaning sink my teeth into the foil covering, I was caught red-pawed by Auntie Ro, who said, "Barney Joe Thunderbear, what in the sam hill do you think you're doing?" well, I thought it was quite obvious, myself. Auntie Ro brought my purloined treat to Mommi and TOLD ON ME!!! (:O) and Mommi said I could have it, and put it on a little plate all for me, and saved a little bit for later. I have never had any food but dry food in my life, as the v-e-t said it is not good for me due to I am prone to crystals in my lower regions. (*ahem*) I would appreciate some comments on this idea, as I have decided I LOVE soft food. Mommi tried putting *water* on my dried food so it wouldn't dehydrate me--I did not care for this and made this be known by eating very little of said nasty moistend glop. SO, that was Christmas---now, I wonder if there is such as thing as New Year's treats....
Yours truly,
Barneby Jones Thunderbear



December 8th 2012 6:18 am
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Well, today I was locked out of Auntie Ro's room, rather the door was shut, so I cried most pitifully and Mommi let me in ther. I like it in there as I can sit on the dresser and look out at the road & stuff. So, I thundered up and down the hall a bit, and these dern juingle bells on my collar make me sound like a---well, one of those bell ringers in front of the Wal-Mart, you know, where the hoomans put money for the poor people. You can hear me a mile away. That is the point, I guess, but I don't know why Mommi thinks she has to know where I am every minute, I mean, does she think I am going to blow the house up or set it on fire?
Anyways, it is chilly out and coudy and it is going to get *cold* tomorrow night and we will have some snow or ice or something fall out of the sky. That would be neat, although Mommi mutteref something about, "oh dear, ice storm mumble etc.". But I don't care cos we are inside where it's safe and warm. Unless the electricity goes out. Then we can huddle all together with the dogs. OH! Yesterday Riley the Fabbulous, the 71 pound puppy, went charging THROUGH the electric shock invisible fence and bar at two strange men behind our house, WHILST he was getting SHOCKED by being in the electric zone of that invisible fence. Mommi and Ro lavished him with praise, and I must admit, after some thought I have decided he is a Hero. It was pretty neat.
Now, to go and harass Mommi at the computer for petting...


FIGHTING! Dec. 5, 2012

December 5th 2012 12:24 pm
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Dear Diary--
Well, everyone has been fighting with everyone, by that I mean the animals. The dogs are getting along pretty good, but once in awhile they have a brief, 3 second battle, and Sears got a MASSIVE ear wound when Riley, the 71 lbs. doggie Mommi LOVES, bit Sears on the ear. Riley is one of the most intimidating doggies we've seen, and boy, if a stranger were to come in here...well, it wouldn't be good. Anyways, my furmom Bunny is fighting with my sister Julia, and they go at it like cats and cats. Also Sophie fights with Bunny, as Bunny is a brat and can't get along with anyone, but next thing you know they are hugging and grooming each other. I sorta stay out of the way--after all, I am now gigantic (Mommi things I weigh at least 15 lbs.) and have so much fur I look like a huge creature. *sigh*, also some *dog* is *peeing* on the big trash can in the kitchen, and this annoys Mommi no end, and she is quite sure it is Sears and not Riley. I don't know--but for me,I think maybe a nap is in order....*sNozz*...



December 3rd 2012 6:35 am
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Dear diary--
Confound it. Well, I like to chew artificial plants and those accessories they put in with 'em, those stick like things and those foil-ish shiny things and the flashier the better, but my favorite is---artificial Christmas trees. Over at the other house I actually searched out the place where the tree was hidden and commenced chewing. Mommi leapt up and grabbed me and spoke sharply to me (I do not like this speaking sharply business. But she has never laid a hand on me). She only does it when I am doing something bad, it seems. Well, by bad I guess that means something that will hurt me, but Dad blame it, she is worried I will get a perforated ileum or a gastric perforation resulting in massive peritonitis, then I will suffer and die and she will never be the same, "and where would we all be then?" That last question is one I am not sure how to answer. Mommi is a worry-wort---but, actually, I've never seen the other kitties chew on plants. We have a big artificial plant in the front room at our new house, and Mommi has been keeping a rather sharp eye on me when I am in there....however, I like long pointy things like christmas needles and this plant has roundish leaves...purrhaps I will try it out. And none of yous, this means my uncle Opie Thunderbear, or my brother Freddy "the Sneef" Mercury, had better rat me out! *hmph* :)
Combaffled, (see Thunderspeaktionary),
Barney Joe



December 2nd 2012 5:55 am
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Dear Diary---
We have a cat called Leo, she is a girl that Auntie Ro adopted as a feral years ago. She is not on Catster. She is a tortie with four little white feet, and the most gentle of dispositions.
Well, it is a sad day, as Leo is dying. She has an incurable cancer, and just lately she has begun to sleep 23 hours a day, waking to eat a few niblets and drink a dab of water.
*sigh*. She has been with us a long time....we don't even know for sure how old she is. Mommi picked her up last night and asaid, "Oh dear, Ro, she is very light, and she has very little substance." (that means a kind of strength or tone in the muscles of a healthy cat).
Anyways, that is all I have to report today, as I don't feel happy right now.
Yours truly,
Barneby Jones Thunderbear


RATTED OUT BY *THE DOG* --December l, 2012

December 1st 2012 9:42 am
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I wrote about this online, but I decided to save it for posterity, and put it in my diary.
Last night, I was minding my own business, hanging out in the big bathroom with Riley the giant black dog (71 lbs. and three yrs. old and is convinced he is a puppy). All of a sudden I heard Mommi hollerin' for me----it was bedtime, and I did not want to go to bed! I was sitting on the bathroom counter, still as a mouse, not moving a hair so my four jingle bells on my collar would not give me away, and Mommi still going about hollering for me---"Barneby Jones Thunderbear, you had better not have snuck into the garage, Barney, whre..." etc. Suddenly, Riley, with whom I thought we had an understanding of some sort, goes, "*WUWUUBARKBARKABARK*!!"
Of course here comes Mommi, going, "Oh, Riley, you showed me where Barney was! You are such a smart sweet doggie, blabbity blab-blab-blab, etc.!"
-----I could've bit nails. Riley's only response was to take a huge long drink out of the toilet whilst Mommi gathered me up and took me off the bed. Dad blame it. I'll tell you this, tho---Riley the Dog is in for a HARD nose smack next time I catch him alone. Which is funny because he acts afraid of cats, and he makes about 50 of us!
Yours truly,
Barneby(Barney Joe)Jones Thunderbear,


BIG BIG TROUBLE -- by Barneby Jones Thunderbear, Cell Block 9, Thunderbear- Household

November 30th 2012 6:45 am
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Nov. 30, 2012, 8:36 a.m. CST

Boy, am I in big trouble. I am on house arrest, meaning NO going into the garage and even just today I got let out of my room. I just went explorng is all, yesterday, and Mommi couldn't find me, and couldn't hear my jingle bells which are affixed upon my neck collar, and the more she hollered for me the more I didn't move a HAIR or a muscle in my little spot in the garage, and my furmom Bunny was about 6 feet above me and everytime Mommi or Ro went into the garage hollering for me (there's tons of boxes and lawnmowers and stuff in there)Bunny got a big-eyed worried look, Mommi said later, but she didn't tell where I was, but she stayed right there near me. I think she thought something terrible was happening as everyone especially Mommi was hysterical, since that time my fur-pop Joe Thunderbear got away and LOST for four days and it was horrible! So Mommi was freaking out and carrying on which didn't help anybody, as all the cats were like, "Why in the Sam Hill is she hollerin'?"
Finally Auntie Ro fond me and coaxed me out and when I saw Mommi I started to struggle mightily, either to get away from Auntie Ro to go to Mommi or to get away from Mommi as she was speaking sharply to me after hollering for fifteen minutes. *whew*. We all calmed down and Mommi became herself again--I think she just cannot live without me.
Yours truly,
Barney Joe


My Diary Entry for Nov 29 Thursday 2012 by Barneby Jones- Thunderbear

November 29th 2012 7:35 am
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Dear Diary,
It is me, Barney Joe. Well, I thought purrhaps I would write about my life in my new home. First of all, I must say to anybody who reads this do NOT think you are immune to being homeless as you are not---we felt pretty secure and you would not believe what happened to us.
So now we all live at Susan's, and she is a social worker who does cat rescue and the occasional *dog*. If we did not have Susan, we would've literally ended up on the street, 'cos let me tell yous, the average person just really doesn't care what happens to a purrson, not if it means an inconvenience to them. Mommi says I am cynical, but I got it from her. SO NOW, we live in a bigger house (our former house was biggish, but had foundation problems getting worse by the day, plumbing prollems and wiring prollems--we had two house fires there! :O). In our new house, all the floor is that neat wood laminate and you can be a cat or dog and commit a social accident or incident and not get in trouble for it, which we shouldn't anyway cos we can't help it. We have new cat friends--Nora, she is fat and a tortoise shell; Friday, he is black; Lu, she is butterscotch and white and MEAN; and Leonard and Maynard. So add to that our kitties and you have a houseful, but we have lots of rooms and bathrooms and a gigantuan (see Thunderspeaktionary) back yard with a fancy fence. AND, we live in this nice neighborhood, too.
Oh, some few of yous remember when we got the home invasion on our old house? The gunwoman (there was four of 'em, only one had a gun) is entering a guilty plea after screwing up the terms of her drug court thingie or whatever joke that was. We got a card saying our presence would be appreciated as she'll be sentenced---it's been over a year and Mommi is tired of it all!
Anyway, back to positive stuff---I got lost yesterday, in the garage, and boy did I get in trouble. Mommi spoke sharply to me--a lot! I am not used to being spoke sharply to. But once I realized she still loved me, we had a love fest of purring and petting and were all happy again.
Yours truly,
Barney Joe Thunderbear (the Great)

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