Southernisms : or as Daddy says and my Senior Panel workup- (it's good!)

Hello Kit-tahs!

I'm looking out the window. Mommy has the air on in the kitchen-when our landlords cook the kitchen gets hot, as theirs is above ours, but the window in the bedroom is open and screened and there is a breeze as it's raining. Or, as Daddy would say; 'It's like a cow peeing on a flat rock' or 'it's a gully buster for sure!'

Now, I might have mentioned this before, but my Daddy is from the South. This means, when he speaks Human, he has very strange sayings that sometimes make mommy start coughing when she's drinking something...such as...

'He's as nervous as a dog pooping (thats the 'polite' word) hot peppers.

or:
'He's as nervous as a cat trying to cover up poop (polite word again) on a tin roof in the rain.'

Or 'I had to go in and tell them today how the cow ate the cabbage'. (I don't understand this. We have no cows, so how would he know how they ate the cabbage?)

Or 'thats about as useless as t...ts (you get the idea) on a boar.) (apparently thats a big wild pig, but we haven't those either, so don't know how he would know this, either.

I do know when Mommy and Daddy were down getting married and took a ride, they saw said 'wild boars' and Daddy's sister, who had just met mommy said in a very alarmed voice when she heard this: 'Wild boars? Y'all gotta be careful of them...they can chase you for miles!'

To which Daddy replied 'Well, wish they chased us on back here so we could put up on the barbecue!'

You see...Daddy is strange. It must be the heat back South that did it.

Now, on to the news about ME!

I had a senior panel done Saturday. The lovely little vet and vet tech stole my blood, and then called and gave mommy and daddy the results. I am doing well! The only issue is that my liver enzymes are a little high. Mommy said its similar to Bella. Dr. M says I should have a sonogram, but this isn't an emergency-it's just Mommy was thinking about having my teeth done, as I only have 5 and they are very yellow and could do with a cleaning. However, I would need to have the sonogram first, so this is not an emergency, as I'm eating just fine and in no discomfort.

I have had some vomiting, but it's been very hot before Daddy got the air conditioner in. I'm doing better, and enjoying laying on the bed and relaxing, and taking my ease.

I hope everyone is doing well...Mommy is still not working, but doing something called an 'internship' and starts what she hopes will be her last round of classes tomorrow. She didn't have much of a break, not even a week with internship.

I'm thinking of you all here, with much love,
Natalie the Natcat
Tiny Face, Tiny Paws

a birthday letter to Natalie from Mommy

Dear Natalie,
It hardly seems that it's nearly 4 years ago we bought you home, a fiesty, endearing little raccoon like orange cat with the strangest little face and the tiniest little paws. I remember how you crawled out into daddy's lap at the bad shelter, I remember how sad you looked when he put you back. When he said 'we'e have to get her' I was right there with him. I didn't know you'd be my 4th feline wonder, my fiesty and funny Mah cat. How I love your little face, and as I watch you walk, hear you yell, and feel your paw on my hand in the morning, I am so glad we found you.
I know at times you don't understand why others have come, but maybe somewhere inside you do know. You inspire us, a little mystery of a cat-why do you walk the way you do? What breed are you, or are you mixed with? A strange, quickly little cat with the most expressive eyes. And of everyone, perhaps you are the cat who has really, aside from Bella, captured me. For you demand love with everything in you, with the most wonderful 'MAAAH!!!{ and a demanding smacky paw when those who love you aren't paying enough attention.
We estimate you to be 16 or 17. We don't know...you were found walking down a street, head up, tail high, and you yelled at your Rescuer. She got you into her basement, where you remained for a year til she was able to get you into the bad shelter. But maybe not so bad-you're with us now.
This year-the diagnosis of CKD-meaning daily azodyl, sub-q fluids, and doses of pepcid. Yet you remain our Nat, our little terror with orange fur, looking at us with dissaproval if you don't get what you want.
I'm so happy you are here with us...thank you Natalie. We love you.

Mommmy and Daddy.

My 'alleged' birthday! Happy birthday to me!

Today is the day my pawrents picked for my birthday, because, as we all know, those of us who are elderwise are truly ageless...

It's not the age, dear kit-tahs, tis the milage.

I'm hanging in there, doing well. I walk around, boss the other cats, hiss at everyone I can, and am, in general, Queen of All I can see, and some of what I can't.

This year has been one of plenty of food, naps, sunshine, bratty boys, having to share with others....grrr...

It's been filled with joy....my dear friends....
It's been filled with sadness as we see kittahs go to the bridge, and we grieve, as do their folks.

It's been a year of firsts, moving here to a new place, enjoying the love I'm getting, and just getting to be me.

It's been finding out for my pawrents that I have CKD and now, for me, need some pills smeared with butter and pincy weird watter needles in my back.

It's been mommy spending more time, and me giving more smacks.

It's been a year of kisses on daddy's face, and smacks there too.

It's been a year of love and light and smiles, and the Evil Tail. It keeps following me and I have to yell and hiss at it.

And it's been a year that I have missed many of you, for mommy has been taken over by demands from work and school.

Now...today I will lay here in the remains of the afternoon sun.. I will hiss at the newcomer in my room-another story-and I will curl up in my little bed, and purr. I've had dinner, I have mommy to wait on me, I have other cats to boss...I have a daddy who loves me.

What more could I ask for?

Oh, probably alot more...but I am humble.

Wishing all those who don't have a home of their own, a home.


It's good to be me.

love and light,
Natalie the Natcat
Tiny Face, Tiny Paws
Wallaby legs
Big Harrys Twin Forever.

How to assure you are given your Proper Due of ATTENTION!

Dear Kit-tahs,

It has come to my attention that some kit-tahs are in need of putting their pawrents, or pawrent, in their plance. Below please find guidelines I myself have found very effective for doing just this.

Remember, an obedient and well trained pawrent makes for a happy kit-tah!

1) Make sure that you have food available at all times, where you want it, when you want it. Do this by yelling at your pawrent whenever they are in earshot, or not. Yell. Alot. If you are hungry, yell. Do not go into the kitchen to do so unless they have not needed said request. Then slouch in, and yell, hissing and growling loudly at any other cat within two feet. Sit there and look grumpy. Make sure they understand the gravity of this matter. Then, when a plate is put down for you, take a few small bites, tasting it as though it might be dog food (ugh). Then slink off and sniff at the other cats dishes, growling the whole time.
Stalk off to your little bed, on your big bed. Lay there and look mournful. Manage a very pathetic 'mah!' and look sadly at them for starving you. They will come running with a plate, and hold it under your little head. That is just what you want.

2) Remember that 4:30am is mealtime. Get up. Smack daddy on the head. If he doesn't repsond, smack mommy. If neither one responds, get down, scratch in the box and pee. Scratch some more. Come out, dance on the cardboard scratch post on the floor. Stalk around the room. Go to the side of the Bed where Daddy sleeps. Sit there, reach up, and smack him-preferrably on his nose or cheeck-with your little paw. On the second go round, make sure the claws are out.

If he hides his head......

Go round to the otehr side of the bed. Go up the small steps to the window. Leap over the cat in the bed by the window if there is one there, or growl loudly and bully them out of it. Sit there and look out the window. Nice view.

Now, step down onto the nightstandd next to Mommy's side of the bed. Notice that she is very close to you, because she has had to move to the side of the bed to allow you your space in the middle. She is Trained. Lean in close to her face. Is she sleeping-you must make sure your Mommy is sleeping before you do this....or your daddy....

lean in close...very close, so your face is right next to hers....it's very important you have surprise on your side.

Yell 'MAAAAAAH' into her ear.

She has been smart enough to not have a glass of water next to the bed anymore.

When she leaps up in bed, jump into her spot. Sit there. She will bring you breakfast, or Daddy will then get up and go and do so.

Sniff the breakfast. Eat a few bites. Come over and paw Daddy. He'll grumble and pet you. Go over to Mommy. Yell 'MAAAH' again. She'll take up the plate and hold it under your nose for you as you rest next to them in the nice cozy warmth. Just what you wanted.

Now, kit-tahs...this is lesson one. I should like you to put it into play this evening....it's very important to start training early.

Going back to bed in the sun for now...

love,
Natalie the Natcat
Tiny Face, Tiny Paws

Hello Kit-tahs! I'm doing well!

...as I hope you are. I'm enjoying lovely naps and nice petting from the mom and dad. I've been more active with the warming of Spring. I walk around and growl at everyone and smacky paw eveyrone who gets in my way!

I also have been at that strange tail that seems to follow me everywhere. Sometimes daddy covers it up so I don't have to see it at night, and that makes it better.

I'm due for more 'stuff' at the vet, but since i'm still getting B12s, little vet is holding off on anything. I don't want shots or unpleasant things-but the b12 clearly makes me feel better. I take my fluids like a good girl!

I don't like having my space invaded by all these cats, but I rule the roost, and don't let them forget it!

purrrs,
Natalie

Blizzard's guest needs purrs and maybe more

Hello Kittahs,
I am well. I am annoyed that there are way too many cats here. I have already written to the Pope as that little Calvin has nibbled the end of of the wing off an angel nightlight by the bed....but somehow, I doubt Pope Francis will adopting CK, even if he is Catlick. I fear, dear Kit-tahs, that the brat with the angelic name will be going to reside in a much warmer place.
I need a favor, Kittahs. My dear friend, Blizzard, the Catfather has a houseguest. Her name is Kitty. She needs some purrs and help. If anyone can help pay for a vet visit for Kitty, it would be welcome. We know times are hard and our Mom has just been laid off. Blizzards dad is laid off, and Kitty has had several kittens, all but one born dead. The vet her owner took her to told them that she needs to be seen to, and probably have surgery because there are more in her. Since Kitty has been there, another kitten was born very small, and dead. Kitty's stomach is fairly large.
We are very concerned, because if there are more kittens in there that can't get out-the vet told the owners that Kitty has a small birth canal and is pretty old to be having kittens-that Kitty could get sick or die.
Bliz's dad simply don't know. Nor do we.
It better circumstances we could help out. However, right now that is fairly difficult.
We know things are tight and many of us are having rough times-yet, we feel we must do something....

It's good to be back, Kit-tahs.

love,
Natalie the Natcat.

Who wants to party..er...go to the Mardi Gras ball with the- Natcat?

Hello Kit-tahs,
Ah, it's good to be me.
I loll, I complain, I get petted, I get made much of, I loll some more.

I, dear kit-tahs, are shockingly without a valentine.

However, tomorrow is Fat Tuesday.

Laissez les bons temps rouler!

So who wants to let the good times roll with me?

It has been such a dreary winter. They are harassing my poor mommy at her job, trying to get her to quit. I have thoughtfully offered to pee on their chairs but Mommy has said we shall hold off til she has her 'papers' to get out of there with her degree. Well, papers? Like under the litter box?

hmmmmm...

So I am wondering, which gentleman cat would like to accompany this Natcat to the Mardi Gras ball?

Waiting...tapping my tiny paw.....

love,
Natalie the Natcat

A letter to Big Harry on his Birthday

Dear Harry,

It's a lovely and warm late afternoon here. I'm curled up in my little bed, the heated one, the one you and your Clowder sent me. I'm feeling most well and happy today. It has, for me, been a week I feel well.
I went to the window last night and gazed up. I could have sworn I saw you, and that was well. I miss you, Harry. I miss you.
But you're not gone. Like my daddy says 'never say bye, say see you later'. And as I purr over Mommys shoulder and watch her scroll down on that strange thing called Face book, and see pictures of your mom with a new little person-a human kitten, who is ever so like us, except for fur. A funny little sprite, perhaps that is why your Clowder have so embraced him.
I know your Mommy misses you. You were-and are-her Guide, her Wonder, her Harry. You-special Cat with the oldest of eyes, that reflect back the light from another time, where we, as Mau, sauntered through stone and ametheyst chambers lit with torches, and on long legs leapt up truly into the arms of Bast, and gazed down at our kingdoms.
And now, I curl up next to Mommy and gaze into the candle that burns on our altar, today, for you, for the new beginning that lies just beyond the veil, for the breaths we draw together, for the purrs that fill the air, for a small boy who falls asleep, innocent and feline in nature, beside a huge slumbering dog.
And I, purring, and blinking slowly, gaze off into the space between all of this....and I think....
you, my kind one, engineered it all.
And I hear mommy whisper to you...'Happy Birthday beloved one...ancient one from our time. Smile as only a cat can from the heart...and know, we love and honor you forever.

love light, and see you later my twin,
Natalie the Natcat, Tiny Face, Tiny Paws
Big Harry's Wallaby Twin Forever

The Nerve! Hmmph!

Mom spoke with her friend the Vet Tech/Behaviorist.

She told her friend what was going on with me. I have a vet appointment on Friday for Daddy to discuss appitite booster change, and I will get a B12 shot.

Mom's friend said this to her:

'The appitite booster for now can be cut even smaller-if she won't eat well, just a tiny bit will help. But when she is in one of her 'episodes' you don't need to tolerate it. In her world, she's not a 'poor little baby girl.' She's a Cat who is exhibiting dominant behavior because she can. She may be being distressed by whats happening, but this is no little wilting flower. She's a very bossy dominant cat. When she acts out, put her in her little bed. Right away. She'll figure out that her biting, scratching, smacking isn't going to be tolerated.'

CAN YOU IMAGINE THIS!!!@ THIS IS NOT FAIR!!!!

So last night when I hissed and smacked Mommy picked me up and said 'Natalie, this is not acceptable! You are going into your little bed now!'

And she picked me up by my scruff and put me right into the bed.

Hummmph.

I didn't stay there long.

I came up and tried to make her get out of the spot I wanted to be in and I started to swing.

And she said 'No Natalie, you are going into your own bed." And she picked me up and put me back again!!!!

Now, I love my little bed. But I wanted to be where I wanted to be. And I didn't like to be taken away from that spot. But mom laid down and then, after a bit, I laid down in my little bed and went to sleep for awhile. When I came out beside mom later I didn't smack her.

Mom is concerned that I'm upset or not feeling well...she spends alot of time petting my little head, and talking to me. Her firend told her that too much petting can set off the FHS, and to watch the signals, mainly my tail which starts tormenting me by swinging back and forth as though ti's got a life of its own. Daddy calls it 'The Evil Tail' and says I believe it's attached to another cat and thats why it bothers me. OF course, Daddy, wrongfully so, says 'I ain't 'right'.

Daddy, I will remember that.

So, what do you think of that? Imagine that friend interfering in me ruling my pawrents!

hummmph!

Interfering woman!

love,
Natalie the Natcat
Tiny Face, Tiny paws
Big Harrys Wallaby Twin

The Rollercoast of CKD

Hi Kit-tahs,
I persevere in the face of all adversity.
I don't know Adversity, but I am sure he is one big cat.

Yesterday evening and early this morning were rough. I threw up a little and seemed very dehydrated. When Mommy came home she gave me a Cerenia, to settle my stomach, and then, a bit later, Cypro, which is an appitite booster.
Well, as some of you may know, I am a Mad Tail Pyrate. And very early this morning, about 3 am, the appitite booster kicked in my much suspected FHS. I attacked Daddy-smacking him over and over. When he hid under the covers I 'maaahed' at him loudly, and then when that would not work, I squeaked pathetically.
This did wake him up. It got him to pet me and try to reassure me. But it would not...nothing did.
Daddy laid back down and then I attacked him, like I didn't even k now him, and bit his hand.
Daddy got up, mommy heard and got up. For some reason mommy's voice soothes me when i'm upset, though I am my daddy's girl.
Mommy told daddy she believed it was a side effect of the appitite booster.
They have to call the vet today. My appitite without this stuff is indifferent at best.
This morning I appeared to feel somewhat better, but my body soaked up the 150 ml of fluids. Mommy isn't sure why i was so dehydrated-I didn't throw up very much.

Daddy says it feels like they are riding a roller coaster-one morning I look well, that evening not so.

This morning when they left I was napping in a patch of sun.

I let them both kiss my little head.

I know they are worried-

Harry dear, can you and your angel pals...Bud, the legendary Hazel Lucy and all of you wonderful kitties out there who have faced down all this troublesome stuff.....Violet....purr up and out for me?

love to all,
Natalie the Natcat,
Tiny Face, Tiny Paws,
Big Harry's Wallaby Twin