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You Can Always Tell a Harvard Man, But You Can't Tell Him Much

All Hail Fair Harvard!

October 21st 2010 2:52 am
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Yes, it's a big name to live up to, but I'm fully confident that I'm worthy of my name. I've never had a doubt or fear in my whole life (although I must admit that I would prefer it if Harvey would quit hissing and swatting at me every time he gets a chance). My mother, Chibi, still hopes to go to Harvard College on the Open Admissions for Qualified Non-Humans plan, and thence to Harvard Medical School, where she will be trained as a psychiatrist. (You can tell where I get my intelligence from! Not Uncle Harvey, that's for sure!). Anyway, Chibi's take on this Harvey-Harvard thing is that Harvey is nothing but a big bully, and bullies are all cowards, only picking on those who they feel threatened by or those who they feel are smaller or weaker than they are themselves. I guess I fall into the former category: I'd say that my perpetual self-confidence irritates Harvey, and that since he remembers me from when I was a kitten, he still thinks he has the right to beat me up. Well, I have news for you, Uncle Harvey--I weigh more than you do, got my Grand Premiership in a shorter time than you did, and probably could go on to make Regional Winner as well. Why? Because of my sterling personality, that's why. I've heard about how you used to try to jump out of the holding cage at shows and claw out judges' eyes. Nasty, nasty. I enjoy cat shows--I get all of Mommy's attention for two days, get to nap or play with wand toys between rings, get snacks if I want them, and in the ring I get to play with some more toys and am praised by the judges (as is proper, considering my muscular build, lovely fur, and beautiful eyes). I have the "X Factor,"--something that YOU, Harvey, apparently lacked in the show ring. If Simon Cowell were a cat judge, he would have made short shrift of YOU.

After three shows as a Premier, I've racked up 145 points, which makes me the #14 cat in the Premiership Class in Japan. Granted, it seems that competition this season isn't as keen as it was when you were competing. If Mommy wanted to, she could probably make me a Regional Winner, but she's going to start showing Lowell now. She may try to make one or both of us Grands in the future. Grand Champions should be in the first bloom of youth, but Grand Premiers benefit from the gravitas that age confers. So, it's not so-long to Show Biz for me just yet. Meanwhile, I'll be commenting on Lowell's show career, which starts this weekend. He's my brother and my buddy, and I wish him well.


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