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The Charmin Diaries

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No toys in bed? Why not?

March 25th 2010 8:27 pm
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This morning, Mom woke up kinda early, on account of something was poking her. She felt around and discovered my favorite feather wand, sticking her in the leg.

She picked it up, with that look that people get just before they say "Whut the....?" And of course I immediately leaped for it, and landed right on her face.

See, I was thinking that I need to be more pro-active about the feather wand. It's usually behind the downstairs commode, because that's where I put it for safekeeping. I thought maybe if I brought it upstairs to bed with me, it would be handier for Mom. Just keeping Mom's best interests in mind, y'know.

She seemed ungrateful. Can't figure out why.


I am already beeyootiful, thank you furry much

April 26th 2010 2:51 pm
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Bear told me today that he thinks Mom and Dad are going to take me to a cat show in a couple of weeks and enter me as a household pet. Hmmph! I will not go unless I can be entered as household QUEEN!! Or at least princess. Or maybe president. Whatever.

And Bear also said that I would be getting a bath. Oooohhh, noooo!!!! Now he'll be able to sit on the kitchen stool and snicker at me like I've been doing at him.


Bath? Not so bad.

May 12th 2010 8:38 pm
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So I got the dreaded bath. Wasn't that bad. First Mom gave me a four-paw pedicure. I loooove pedicures. They come with paw massages and lots of snuggles.

Then she drew my bath and lifted me into it. I was a little startled that it was, like, WET. But it was warm, and I got a full-body massage with bubbles. Three times, actually, which was more rinse and repeat than I really had the patience for. Still, I only struggled twice to get free, and never ONCE uttered a meow of protest.

The dryer was OK. Again, the patience ran out. But Mom gave me breaks every 20 minutes or so, to feed me a treat, before cranking up the warm-air machine again.

I smell very flowery, and I am even poofier than usual. Also I have very pronounced and fluffy pantaloons. I feel pretty, oh so pretty. But that didn't stop me from a rousing game of bat-the-mouse with Bear tonight.


My turn to shine!

May 17th 2010 8:42 pm
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I went to a cat show with Bear and the peeps last weekend, and guess what? Bear struck out big time -- NO ribbons at all!! OK, it was an all-breed show with no longhair specialty ring, he's out of the Open class and into Premier, and he was up against a lot of really spectacular cats. Mom says he'll do better as he matures. And he "showed" a lot better this time, stretching up the scratching pole like a pro.

But I came home with a boatload of ribbons! I was in the household pet category, and that one has NO breed standards to meet and no need for pedigree papers. All you have to do is be in good health and good condition, and adorable. Well, I'm all that!!

And you know what else? They've opened the household pet category to disabled cats! There was this gorgeous Persian-y cat with two-tone brown hair who was blind. And the judge was surprised when she immediately reacted to the feather wand. Grabbed it in a second. C'mon, judge. She's still got cat ears. If a cat can hear a bug moving through the grass, a cat can hear a feather wand swishing through the air. Even over the loudspeakers in the show hall. We know how to concentrate.

There was a gray mackerel tabby with three legs. Handsome guy. A foster who found his forever home with his foster parents. And a perfect gentleman with the judges.

There was a tuxedo who charmed one judge utterly -- rolled right over on his side and demanded a belly rub, which the judge granted. You knew immediately that that cat would be walking out with first place in the ring. Charm, baby! And there was a sweet, sweet red tabby who, upon being named best cat in one ring, acknowledged the applause with a graceful arch and stretch, looking every inch a queen.

I understand why the peeps love cat shows, and why Mom especially likes the HHP rings. But I'm happy with my ribbons, and will be pleased to let Bear do the show stuff from now on.

C'mon, Mom. Get my pictures with the ribbons. This show-cat bath won't last forever.


Ailing again (sniff!)

May 21st 2010 9:35 pm
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Oh, nooooo! I had the poopy pants again this morning, and the upchucks, too.

Mom did the demi-bath thing. That was helpful for my self-esteem, but I still spent most of the day off to myself. No fever, and when Mom got home I was there to greet her and join the parade to the food court. So she's waiting to see how I feel tomorrow before getting too agitated.

Mom's thinking that maybe poopy pants just goes with the territory when cats have fluffy britches. Bear has had a few "Klingon" episodes, too. Humans, I am reliably told, also have some, um, inconsistency in output depending on what they have ingested.

Mom's never had long-haired cats before. We are teaching her.


Another vet visit

May 25th 2010 8:33 pm
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Three days of Pepcid and bland diet, and my pants are still poopy. So Mom took me to the vet today instead of Severian, who was supposed to have his annual checkup. I heard him say "So long, sucker," as I was being carried out the door.

I got TWO shots in my tush. Xanax to settle my stomach and an anti-diarrhea medicine. And we came home with LOTS of Flagyl, because before we left for the vet, Mom walked past the laundry room litter box just as Bear was doing his business, and HE had diarrhea too. A round of Flagyl for everybody, bartender!

Sev, Jasper and Onyx think this is VERY unfair. They have perfectly fine poopies.


Poopies be gone!

May 29th 2010 5:08 pm
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Whew! My diarrhea is gone! But my furmily is not too happy with me, because they've ALL been having to take the nasty Flagyl every day while the vet figured out what my problem was. My poopie sample was negative for all parasites, including giardia. It was negative for all that in January, too, but the Flagyl made me better anyway.

The vet doesn't know what's causing my backyard trots, but she thinks it must be infectious because Bear got it too. (He's all better now, too.)

Mom is feeling very broke. In addition to my vet visit, Onyx had a tooth extraction and cleaning, and Severian went in for his annual workup. My, my. Vet visits are expensive.



June 21st 2010 7:22 am
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Oh dear, I created an uproar. Last night I took a flying leap from a kitchen stool onto the countertop, and slid into my Dad's pill tray, which Mom had just filled with a week's worth of pills. It landed on the floor and all the little plastic compartments popped open, spilling the pills all over the kitchen floor!!

My Dad has a kidney transplant, and he takes a LOT of pills. About 30 a day, so there were at least 210 pills scattered everywhere. Gray ones, white ones, blue ones, purple ones, orange ones.... big and little and long and round and everything in between.

Would have been fun to play with those, but Mom snatched us all up and put us on the porch while she swept up and counted out all those pills to make sure she got every last one. She was missing two. She moved the range and found one of them, and after about a half-hour found the other one in the adjacent dining room. Pills roll a long way, I guess.


Happy birthday, human Mom!

July 5th 2010 2:36 pm
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Today is my lady peep's birthday. Did you know humans have birthdays, too? Amazing. Seems like they've always been here and always will be here. But my brofur Jasper says that they were once hairless babies, lots more helpless than we were even as kittens. In the case of our humans, that was a long time ago. So far back, in fact, that when my peeps were born, there weren't any Ragdolls!

I kind of feel like a new technology. A first-generation cellphone or something. I'm glad I was invented, though, so my peeps could adopt me.


Brown britches

July 9th 2010 9:35 pm
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I pranced up to the bedroom this morning to wake up the peeps, and what did Mom find when she scooped me up? Poopie pants!

What kinda thanks is this? I get carried downstairs for a behind shower. When it was done, my tail, which wasn't even soiled, looked like a soggy pipe cleaner! My beautiful floofy tail!!

Mom dried it a little, but then she said it was too hot to run a hair dryer, 'cause our AC was down. So I walked around for hours with a limp tail! Is that any way to treat a princess?

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Family Pets

Bear DB #165a
Angel Onyx
Jasper, Angel
Dreamboat #49a
Severian DB
Patch, Angel
Dreamboat #49b


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