Blog from the Beasel-Weast

Farewell My Angel-You are loved and always will be...Bella- journey's on...

September 19th 2012 10:54 am
[ Leave A Comment | 20 people already have ]

This is Bella's Mommy, her very very sad person.

It's with both sadness and in some way,feeling guilt on my part, relief to let everyone know that a little while ago we had to help Bella to cross to the Bridge.

Last night Bella was not herself....she had been not well as she used to be for awhile, but this was more...she was very restless, walking around, looking, looking....'talking' at the window and in the corner of the end table to someone we could not see...but she could.

Then today she was hungry, was given fluids, ate a tiny bit, but kept looking for something more.

Nothing satisfied her. She paced and paced and paced. We gave her baby food, fresh deli roast beef and chicken, and she was not satisfied...she'd eat a little, then stop and look like 'what else do you have for me.....

and nothing was what she wanted. She she couldn't get comfortable...she went into the corner of the end table and stared and stared at the wall...and then was looking up and out at the window....Ruffy's Spot.

This morning CK licked the top of her head. My Clowder gathered around her.

This morning she was offered 5 different foods. She ate a few bites and left them. She was agitated. We came from the bedroom and she was sitting in the bathtub, staring at the side of it.


Husband took her to the vet, I went to work. I got the call soon after I got to work....

Come....

Dr. M, (little Vet) was in tears. She told us that she believed Bella's body was shutting down. She said she had lost a 1/2 lb. She was down to 4 1/2 lbs.

She said that she did not know what was happening, but she said that she bleieved it to be her body giving out. We talked for a very long time. We had the option of doing a blood work up on her, and seeing.....

but we looked...and we knew.....we did because as I watched her staring into the wall and pacing the room....

this was a cat who was always fastidious, who had ceased to groom, who loved to eat, and who had at her prime weighed 10lbs.

Dr. M. felt that to put her through more...it was up to us.

And we didn't.

Held in Daddy and Mommys arms, hugged by Rachel and Dr. M 'Aunt Tif' my girl left her body.

Oh, that I could tell you that I am ok...and I am. I will be. Bella leaves a legacy of love. She is heart of my heart.

It's so hard to know she won't be there to greet me, waiting for her supper.

As we waited for Dr M....the room grew very cold....husband said to me...it just got very cold in here.

In the corner manifested a lovely, lush and very sweet grey tabby, hazy around the edges, but with huge wings. She was so real that when Rachel came in she moved to the other side of the door.

She was there as she always is....and I'm glad she came, that she hasn't indeed left the comfort of her wonder and helping others...and comforting pawrents.

Thank you Angel Alex. Look after my baby girl, please, all the greats up there. I know you will. Please let me have a sign my girl is ok.

Baby, we miss you. Daddy and I miss you.

Thank you Alex.

And thank you whoever frisked with CK last night and this morning. You made us laugh and we needed that.

Gumpy...take care of my baby.

love,
Mommy and Daddy

 
 

Leave A Comment | 20 people already have

Purred by: Alex (sweet angel girl) (Catster Member)

September 19th 2012 at 11:11 am

Please know that Bella is resting comfortably and Gumpy is here with us. He is grooming her and letting her know that when she is ready, she'll be able to fly down to you and sprinkle healing dust on your heart. You did the right thing. When the body is shutting down, there's no coming back from that. There just isn't. We're so sad for you, mom has so many tears right now. But we love you and you gave Bella the world and a world of love.
Purred by: (My Angel) Marrakech (Catster Member)

September 19th 2012 at 11:36 am

Ooohh Bella. Mommy's eyes are watering. Bella is here with me and she's not in pain or restless or anything. She's fine now.

She knows she meant the world to you and that you took such good care of her and loved her with all your heart for all those years.

It was her time and you gave her the ultimate gift of love, letting go.

She will always love and cherish you as you've loved and cherished her for so many years.

She'll always be there in your hearts and in your memories.

Huggies and gentle whisker kisses...

(Angel) Marrakech, Samsara, Colette, (Angel) Misha and Mom, Carol
Purred by: Gumpy Sweet Boy (Catster Member)

September 19th 2012 at 11:38 am

Come, my sweet Bella, let's get familiar with this place. It's very loving, gentle and warm here, isn't it? The light here is like no light back there on planet earth. I'm right here beside you and so is Alex and so many of your other friends and family. I'm told we are literally right here in the place of Love Itself. It's taking me a little while to get used to it and having those wings 'n stuff - you know, having had a furry body for so long, but together we can used to it together. I'm sending all the comforting purrs I have for your mommy and daddy who love you so much. I know they will miss you forever, but our pawrents have to be so glad we were together for the time we had.

Deb, I'm so sorry about this deep loss. Exactly a week after sweet Gumpy. Not a lot of words.

We are all here for you. We love you.

Love,
Gumpy & Mom Jen
Purred by: Tigger (Catster Member)

September 19th 2012 at 11:53 am

Oh I cannot tell you how very sorry I am. I wish I could put my arms around you & give you a hug right now. It seems, though by what you say, it was time for Bella to be an angel, as it was most certainly angels she saw that came to escort her. She will be with you always, and I know you feel that too. I really just do not know what else I can say to make it any better, except that we are here for you, and how sorry I am that you had to lose her. There is never enough time. Renee & the quartet
Purred by: Queen Tallulah Angel Dreamgirl (Catster Member)

September 19th 2012 at 12:36 pm

All of us angels are with Bella, she is so beautiful and at peace, we all we watch over her, when she is ready she will come to you...she needs time to heal in heaven and be young again.

As I watch my family the tears are streaming down Moms face, we are sadden to hear of your loss....she was ready to go, she gave you the signs...she knows you love her and did everything possible and more for her.

She will be sending you a beautiful butterfly from heaven, watch and you will see, you will know it is Bella letting you know that she is OK and she will be with you always.

Just know we are here for you as all of your friends here at catsterland. You are not alone and we all know how hard this is on you...our deepest sympathies, we send our love and hugs to you all...you are in our thoughts & prayers.

QT and family
Purred by: Blizzard AKA The Catfather (Catster Member)

September 19th 2012 at 1:38 pm

Words cannot express how we feel at this time... Bella, you were one in a million, a beautiful Angora, with all the spunk.

We will miss you dearly, and will all hold paws with your family.

(Blizz walks over to Ruffy, and they bow their heads in unison)
Purred by: Simone (Catster Member)

September 19th 2012 at 2:29 pm

Our hearts are broken, Bella was such a beautiful girl. We are purring for all of you right now, but we know that she's free and happy again at the rainbow bridge. What a long and wonderful life she had with you, even up to the very end you were with her, that is the best gift of all. Bless you all for taking such good care of her. We love you all so very much.
Purred by: Mr D - D'boat #19 (Catster Member)

September 19th 2012 at 2:55 pm

We don't know what to say, Tears do flow today for your precious baby. Many purrs from our family
Purred by: Mrs. Murphy DG#22 (Catster Member)

September 19th 2012 at 3:34 pm

Oh Bella, Sweet Bella, I have felt such a connection with you, reaching these golden years. We are so very sad today, as you left to join the others at the Bridge, where so many have recently gone. It surely must be a beautiful place if so many of our friends are going there. Please don't let your Mom or Dad feel guilt or a case of the "what-ifs", we know they have loved you tremendously and did so much for you. Remember that they will always love you and hold you in their hearts. I will miss your presence here on earth, but I know we will meet again and I am comforted by that. Purrs to your family, we know they will miss you greatly. Hugs and purrs from Mrs M and Mom Michele
Purred by: Bella My Beautiful Angel (Catster Member)

September 19th 2012 at 5:42 pm

Hello everyone. I must tell you that this is Bella's Daddy. Though I read Catster a lot, this is my first time writing. After reading all of your comments and wishes, I felt there was no other choice except to say, truly from the depths of my soul, Thank You!

My Little Beasel Weast is gone -- at least in the flesh. Selfish bastard that I am, I did not want to let her go; but I knew I had to stand with Mommy and make the right decision for Bella; because, in the end, what's best for Bella is all that matters.

My heart is broken. It's just not right coming home and not finding her on her blankie, rubber-necking at me (I always called it "doing the Bella"), and wondering what I was about to bring her to eat. It's not right not being able to pet her and kiss her head and sing to her. This evening I sang the Beasel Weast song to Bella's picture hanging above the sofa.

My heart is broken.

Often I'm wont to say: "Lament not what you are without -- or what you perceive to be without; rather, rejoice in what you have." I'm finding it difficult to practice what I preach; because I'm lamenting not having my Beasel Weast to hold in my arms -- although, I do realize she remains close, only not in the tiny body she left behind this afternoon.

My heart is broken.

The Angels were calling her last night. My soul felt the vibrations of their song. And I knew, by her actions then, that she was preparing to cross. My Bella was then beginning to search out the portal. I knew. But still . . .

My heart is broken.

Angels . . . Please gather 'round Daddy's Little Beasel Weast and sing her our song . . .

"Beasel Weast . . . Beasel Weast . . . Daddy's Little Beasel Weeeeast!"

It's simple, really; but it's our little tune. Please, Angels, sing it to her, because . . .

My heart is broken.

Thank you, everyone.
The Beasel Weast's Dadduy
Purred by: Alex (sweet angel girl) (Catster Member)

September 19th 2012 at 5:47 pm

Hello Bella's daddy! This place, Catster, is a place of refuge, of peace, of love. I'm glad you felt you could come here, we know from the depths of our souls how bad this hurts. Even though yes, it was her time and she was ready, of course you hurt. I wrote a blog about this very topic last night. If you haven't read it, ask Deb to show it to you. I'm so sorry for your loss, believe me I know this pain well.
Purred by: Elsa - Dream Girl #31 (Catster Member)

September 19th 2012 at 5:54 pm

You will see signs from Bella; feel a brush against you now and then; hear her, she might come into your dream. We have lived with those tiny miracles.

Bella was giving you signs of leaving too; we're sure she was staring at the Kitty Angels and that her strong inside spirit was pulling her and knowing she'd join them. It's our inevitable next step which we cannot change; but we do go on to glory - peace and a healthy spirit.

Da tabbies o trout towne were so sweet to comment and what they said is so true we did not want to repeat the same things. And I hope da Tabbies return to spread more of their love to all their Catster friends.

We've always felt our Bridge kitties were just around the corner, in a place we could not see; but they're right with us so very near-by. They are just in a new place, but still very close to us in a new way.

Love Elsa, xo
Purred by: Mietzi Katze♥ (Catster Member)

September 19th 2012 at 5:57 pm

We are so sorry. So very very sorry for your loss. It was the right thing to do. She's in another place now but she just couldn't hold on to this earthly existence. She's a happy kitty girl now. Happy that you allowed her to be free of her old, diseased body. Happy and healthy and free.

Comforting hugs as the tears fall,
Mietzi, Timo and Mom Sonja
Purred by: Sweets (Catster Member)

September 19th 2012 at 8:43 pm

We are all selfish. I would live forever if I could... I know my family would echo my wish.
I do know that I will bravely go where many of my friends (and some family) have gone before me and I will wait.
Waiting with all the love that was shared with me in my body to share again that love with the Spirits who shared bodies in my time with me.

To pass beyond the veil and to there wait, through snow-sleep knowing that nothing is stronger than Love and that in that Love we (in our love) will all know each other again, sustains me.

I am so sorry that tonight you are learning how to live without Bella's touch in your life. She is always near, as near as your memory of her. As near as a breeze, butterfly, or rainbow. She is always, always with you....
Purred by: Calvin ~ Knead On (Catster Member)

September 19th 2012 at 10:22 pm

I'm so sorry that you've made your journey, Bella, but you have lots of pals up here that are going to take good care of you. The wonderful memories you gave your family will live with them forever. Come on, let me show you around . . . .
Purred by: ♥ Jezebel RIP ♥ (Catster Member)

September 19th 2012 at 11:13 pm

Sending you lots of purrs and hugs.
Purred by: Chiquitita (Catster Member)

September 20th 2012 at 6:47 am

We send you our hearts, and our love. We have few words, but many, many tears. If we could we would take a piece of your grief and pain and carry it for you 'til the end of our days.

Purrrs, and gentle headbonks.
Chiquitita, mommy and Bandit
Purred by: Kaci Sunshine - Beloved Angel (Catster Member)

September 20th 2012 at 9:36 am

Oh Bella, my dear *sister friend* -- you and I were so much alike in so many ways -- your loss has broken my heart and left me feeling very sad and bereft. You are loved so much and I will miss you dearly.

We're so very sorry you had to go to the Bridge. Sending much love and comforting hugs to you and your mommy and daddy.

Love is Forever.

xoxo
Kaci & family
Purred by: Sarge (In Loving Memory) (Catster Member)

September 20th 2012 at 8:02 pm

We're very sorry about your loss. You did the right thing. I'm glad you were there when she left like my Dad was for me. It makes going so much easier. You were always there for her from the moment you saved her and her litter. Remember the good times and remember the bad. Be sad she is gone and be relieved that she's no longer in pain and you no longer have to worry about her. She was very lucky to have you as her family.
Purred by: SKIDS KITTY gone, never forgot (Catster Member)

September 22nd 2012 at 7:59 pm

oh dear Bella's mom and dad words can never say how mom's heart breaks for you. Bella was to you like like I was to mom. The day I told mom it was time for her to help me cross.... well she had to tell dad and it was one of the few times she heard deep hart felt sobs flow from him. I know you know this but the sad memories will turn to happy ones and one day you will smile when you think of your angel Bella. It is my honor to be one of the many angels to welcome her to the bridge.
much love and lots of hugs from us
skids kitty and family


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