Halloween Cat Costumes: Crazy or Crazy Awesome?


The other day, I decided my handsome gray tabby, Bubba Lee Kinsey, would look great in a tie. He’s 11 years old and 15 pounds, a curmudgeonly yet regal fellow who is also a total mama’s boy. And like any macho man who can’t cry unless he’s also punching a wall, Bubba headbutts in a way that suggests he can’t show affection without also reminding you he’s in charge.

Although the cat costumes at PetSmart are pathetically limited compared to the dog costumes, I managed to find a plain black tie with some skull-and-crossbones bling, which naturally suggests to the world that you are not to be messed with. This, I figured, is perfect for Bubba, who invites bullying at every turn with his tendency to sleep with his face crammed in my gym shoes and his insistence upon morning snuggles.

When I put the tie around Bubba’s neck (it fits much like a collar, so he didn’t seem to mind too terribly) I couldn’t help it: "Oh, you look adorable!" I cooed like a grandmother.

I also bought some bat wings for Phoenix, my calico girl, but she did not want to be dressed, and I felt bad forcing her. So instead I spoiled her with a brand-new catnip toy, which looks like a pouting banana. I got Bubba high on the nip, too, and the whole debacle with the "adorable" tie I made him wear was forgotten.

Here are a few more crazy — or crazy awesome? — Halloween costumes for cats:

1. Unicorn Horn

This inflatable unicorn horn will turn your cat into a magical, mythical beast, and the package promises, “Cats love it!” Though based on that facial expression, which mirrors my own every day around 2 p.m. when I’m sitting in my cube fighting that post-lunch food coma, I think the actual cat in question would beg to differ. Also, inflatable headgear + angry, clawed beast = bad investment.

Verdict: This costume is crazy.

2. Hello Kitty

When I was a kid, we tried to dress our Jack Russell Terrier, Eddie, in a sweater one winter. He managed to wriggle out of it, and we found it in the corner of his kennel in a crumpled, pee-soaked pile. I cannot help but think that this costume would succumb to a similar fate.

Verdict: This costume is crazy.

3. Shark

Perhaps because I prefer understatement, I think this shark fin is a delightful way to accessorize a kitty. Plus, a shark is a larger, more ferocious predator, so this seems like a costume your cat might choose for herself.

Verdict: This costume is crazy awesome.

4. Cat from Hell

Taking a cue from everyone’s favorite rock-and-roll cat behaviorist, Jackson Galaxy, this Cat from Hell costume will make your good kitty look bad. Considering Bubba’s reputation for demonstrating the efficacy of his fangs in my friends’ calves, the thought of him in a devilish red cape makes me cackle with glee (but I have my doubts about the headgear).

Verdict: This costume is crazy awesome.

5. Hula Girl and Rasta Wig

Much like the unicorn horn, this costume seems as though it was invented my someone who has never actually spent time with a cat. Under pretty much all circumstances, that is not a skirt. It is a toy. Same with this wig:

Verdict: These costumes are crazy.

6. Various Hats

If you suspect your finnicky cat won’t tolerate your annoying human traditions but you’d still like to try dressing him up for free, hats can be fashioned out of a variety of common household items, such as tinfoil or grapefruit peels.

Fancier options exist as well, such as these biker babe hats, which suggest your cats totally went to Sturgis this year.

And please, don’t forget to check out Etsy, where you’ll find gems such as these multi-species pumpkin hats:

Verdict: Hats are crazy awesome.

Have a happy Halloween and a good laugh at your cat’s expense … but only if she is reasonably willing to participate in these shenanigans!

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