7 Things That Help Me Cope with Grief After Losing a Cat

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Losing a cat is excruciating. In fact, I’m going through it and grieving as I write this. I think the loss of a pet and the grief process that follows is one of the hardest, most intense experiences we have to get through.

It’s not easy to prepare for grief, as each end-of-life journey is different. That being said, I’ve been through this a few times and have discovered that I do certain things to help me cope with losing a cat. Hopefully, some of these suggestions can help you navigate the grief process after the loss of a pet.

1. I celebrate the cat’s (whole) life

At the end of life, whether it’s prolonged or sudden, it’s easy to get caught up in the sadness and intensity of that current moment. Sometimes, when I’ve found myself in this place, I realize I’m not honoring the rest of the cat’s life. What about the amazing years or months I had with the cat? What about the funny things my cat did? Or the loving bond we had? What about the wonderful memories and stories of the cat? I try to focus on the life I’ve shared with the cat, even though it’s very easy to want to focus totally on the end of life.

A cat dressed up and being silly in a basket.

2. I find people who understand what losing a cat is like

Whether your cat has passed on or is likely to pass on soon, obviously you’ll want to be around people who understand. Now is not the time to take comments like “it’s only a cat” to heart. If you do run across someone who says something like this, try to breathe and let it go. You need your energy to get through grieving, not to get mad about ill-placed comments.

Instead, find people who understand and are respectful of your loss of a pet and the grief process, whether they love cats or not. A compassionate person and friend will give you the space and respect your need to grieve.

Two older cats hanging out together.

3. I take time to be alone, if I need it

Some of us like to share; others are intensely vulnerable when going through grief. I’m a little of both. Know yourself. If you need to be alone, honor that. It’s OK.

4. I understand that loss of a pet and grief is a powerful process

Sometimes, grief reminds me of the waves of an ocean. You’re feeling fine and then WHAM, some piece of grief hits you and you’re down, or crying, or both. I’m not sure why it is, but just knowing that this happens has made me prepared for when it happens again. I try to flow with it. Everyone grieves differently. We all grieve in our own time, and in our own way. Let it happen the way it needs to happen for you.

An orange and white cat hangs out on the beach in the sun.

5. I breathe (deeply)

This is a yoga tool, but it’s also a relaxation technique, which anyone can do. When you’re exhausted from stress or grieving, breathing deeply through your nose can really help relax you and restore your mind and body to a state of calmness. Even a minute or two of this has great benefits. I do this all the time during periods of stress, or if I’m grieiving the loss of a pet. From a physiological standpoint, this activates your parasympathetic nervous system (which induces relaxation) rather than your sympathetic nervous system (which is all about fight or flight). Try breathing deeply in any stressful situation or any time you find yourself holding your breath.

6. I’m good to myself and my body

I’m no good to my cats if I’m a mess. So even though it’s hard (grief is exhausting), I try to remember to be good to my body. I try to remember to eat good stuff (not junk), get outside, exercise, breathe — all good things for me. Find the good things for you and remember to do them.

A cat on a pier.

7. I honor the immensity of grief

It’s a big deal, and we all get to go through it. The sadness in grief is huge, but strangely, so is the joy. Celebrate these wonderful creatures we love, whether we’re going through life with them or whether we’re letting them go.

Read more about losing a cat and handling grief:

461 thoughts on “7 Things That Help Me Cope with Grief After Losing a Cat”

  1. I lost my Gracie this morning and the pain is relentless. When I look over “there”, why is that spot empty? Who will lay a gentle paw on my cheek in the wee hours for me to get up? Who will sit on my lap while I read? Who will snuggle me when I sleep? I have always had a cat and loved and cherished each one but now I am 71 and am afraid a new furry baby will outlive me. I don’t have anyone I know who would treat a pet as I would and I am not sure it would be fair to ask a pet to have to adjust to a new environment, new people. I live alone and the loss of my best friend, my companion, is so devastating and the house is so quiet without her presence and silly antics. I know one thing for sure… a house is not a home without the warmth and love of a pet. And my home became just a house as of today. I have read the stories and I share in your pain. I am grateful to have found this site to share.

  2. Andre’a Randolph

    I found my bub Gus shot dead in the woods this week. It was the most horrific thing I have ever experienced. He was everything to me and my one joy in life. No matter what my day was like I knew I would have have him to look forward to and that once I was with him everything would be ok. Just seeing him made everything better. He wasn’t even three years old. I wish I could have given him a better life. I thought I had so much more time with him. My only consolation is that he died fast. Never would I have imagined that he would die alone and without me (my worst fear for him). The grief is unbearable and I cannot stop crying. He was my soulmate in animal form. There will never be another like him.

    1. Oh my goodness I’m so sorry what happened to Gus. How terrible but yes, it is helpful to know it was quick w no suffering. It moved me to read you wish you could have given him a better life. I can’t know what you’re referring to but I suspect you wish you could have done more and better because perhaps you feel he deserved more and better. But when you think about it, isn’t that maybe being hard on yourself, a perfectionist? Gus loved you for YOUand what you gave him, the care, feeding and love was more than enough. It was enough because that’s what you two shared and it was beautiful for the two of you. Not someone else. You and Gus.

    2. My cat was put to sleep last night at the vet, he was fine last week, the grief is intense like nothing I’ve ever experienced

      1. Dylan Napoleon Johnson

        Mine was put to sleep Monday Nov, 30th. I agree with Andre’a:

        He was everything to me and my one joy in life. No matter what my day was like I knew I would have have him to look forward to and that once I was with him everything would be ok. Just seeing him made everything better.

        Now I will no longer see him, or get to pet him to relieve my pain. I always knew this day would come and tried to prepare myself, but nothing can prepare you for this.

        1. I had to put my cat Serena to sleep 8 days ago. I would’ve had her 14 years this April. She had hyperthyroidism, but was doing well and gaining weight back. She was fine one night when I went to bed, but in the morning she was paralyzed. Her vet did tests on her, and said she must have thrown a blood clot or had a stroke. She had lost all motor skills and was in pain, so I had no choice. It nearly destroyed me. I cry every day.

      2. I put my beautiful cat midnight to rest December 28th I thought she would get better but she wasn’t eating and she just got skinnier and skinnier she was 17 years Young and I miss her everyday

        1. I agree with the comments and it’s so nice to see that other people feel that way too. I had to put my cat down yesterday. He had kidney disease and then they told me he had a heart murmur so it was hard to hydrate him. I tried for three or four weeks to feed him, make sure he had water but he was losing weight and he just wasn’t happy so I made the decision to have no more medical interventions and let my babies suffering end.

          I knew he was going to go someday and I didn’t want it to happen I’m so lost without him. Everything I did, every decision I made all centred around that beautiful cat Tom. He gave me the best 18 years ever and I miss him so much. I hope he recognize what I was doing was giving him a gift in return for all the great love and companionship you gave me

          1. I had my kitty cat little one for 20 years. My son found him in a buggy abandoned at Walmart brought him home. He slept with me every night and he was my baby. About a month ago he got to where he could not walk very well and last week he could not hardly get around at all even though he tried. He was drinking a lot and also eating. When I touched him on his tummy or his side he would cry. I would pick him up to put him in the litter box and he would cry. My son took him to the vet and they said they could run some test and blood work to and it would be very expensive. I could not afford to have it done as I am having to live in a extended stay hotel. I would have given my life for that kitty cat but the vet said with him being 20 the chances were very slim. I had to make one of the hardest decisions of my life but my son took care of everything. I feel so much guilt because I could not be there with him in his last minutes. God forgive me for being so weak when my little one needed be so bad much. I cannot even go where he was buried. I have horrible thoughts whether he knew what was going on and that his mommy was not with him. It is been a week today end don’t know if it’ll ever get better. I just wanted to have him a little longer and I am not sure if I rushed into something that I now cannot change. I just cry all the time.

    3. You are not alone, soooo sorry. My connection to animals is so much stronger than to humans.
      My cat,
      Luciana died Friday, age 26 years, 5 months. Hope she finds Gus on other side.

    4. Oh my goodness. This is horrible and my heart aches for you. I know it’s very hard just try to think of the wonderful times you shared together. There’s nothing I can say to help you except take one day at a time and remember you were a good mommy to him and you made him happy. Take care of yourself.

  3. I was to have gotten a Maine Coon female. When we got her it was filled with fleas. We got her treatments. Then we found out she was a boy and maybe not a maine coon. Sweet baby that loved to play. He was so thin we feed him three hours around the clock. we locked the gate for our dogs. we had to live. But she should have brought the baby. when we came home she was violently killed. I had her for maybe a day. I am so careful but not for this baby. I will never get over this. We are cremating him and his food will be at his remains. I am feeling so evil and mean. He was so sweet. I am forever in pain.

  4. Becca, I made the mistake, a long time ago when my beautiful first cat, Miffy, died, to get a cat too soon after her death, because I felt so terrible without her. I had to take the new cat back to the RSPCA. I do think it would be best if you do take her back & explain, otherwise you will resent this cat and not bond with her properly. Take time to get over your grief for Miss Marmalade and try to get a cat, who has different colouring and looks different to your last cat. I now take about 6 months to a year to get over my beautiful cats. I had to have my lovely cat Mittens put to sleep on 19th December & I am still feeling devastated and going through the grieving process. In your heart you will know when it will be the right time to think about another lovely cat to share your life with you.

    1. Reading these stories has helped me feel a bit less alone. I lost my very special 13 year old cat on March 9th, just over 7 weeks ago. My husband also loved Gandalf, (BKA Kitty), a grey and white tuxedo, and has been very supportive, but he does not really understand the depth of my grief, so I am hiding it from him. This is not something you can talk about with most people. I’ve even been doubting myself, wondering, is this normal? To be so devastated by the loss of a pet? I don’t think I’ve ever been any more heartsick by the loss of any human in my life. My cat was by far one of the best friends I’ve ever had. He was so loving, smart, and funny, and so considerate of my husband and me. He always tried to please us. If he did something we didn’t want him to do, usually all it took was a stern talking to to get him to stop doing it. He was a gentleman through and through. Travelled the country with us in his carrier for hours, never complaining. He enjoyed it! Would walk on a leash and understood to do his business at rest stops. My husband says Kitty and I had a psychic bond, half jokingly, but he really did behave as though he understood what I told him. Maybe people who read these posts will understand. I’ve gotten to a place where I no longer cry every day… but still do most days. A picture of him at the vet as he took his last breath while my husband and I petted him through his euthanasia is etched in my mind. He left us so quickly! We just found out he was ill right after New Years Day, and by early March he was gone. I think he was struggling before we noticed he wasn’t eating much and took him to the vet where he was diagnosed with cancer. It was as though he was trying to not ruin the holidays! Does that sound completely nuts? It was the sort of thing he would do. Losing him has left such a huge void. You don’t fully realize the amount of joy and comfort a special animal gives you until you’ve lost it. Anyway, I hope this pain will ease up soon, for myself and for all of you who have also experienced the loss of our very special friends. We need a new word for this relationship. “Pets” doesn’t do the job. Love to all of you and I hope we can go on to find another special animal to love when we are ready. I’ll leave you with a quote from Winnie the Pooh: “How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard”.

    2. Uncommonsensesc

      I can’t believe you took a cat that you adopted back to the shelter! I simply can’t fathom that. You had the space in your heart but chose to not open up to the new kitty. You took her home, let her start getting adjusted to your home and you, then took her back. How cold! How many cats to you go through anyway? I am simply appalled at this.

      1. So agree with you…my beautiful boy died yesterday and I know i need to grieve properly and then hopefully will hope to get in time a lovely boy or girl that needs a good home.

        1. My cat died yesterday. I look around the house and I see her two beds, her cat tree, two toys for her claws. Little round balls she played with with a new pack that just came and a new container to put dirty littler in with a new litter tray. A large tray of new cat food from the vet. Her mouse that she treated like a baby and use to lick it like it was alive and a new 40 bd box of litter and I think, there should be a cat living here. I’m getting another one tomorrow. And I’m going to tell that cat all about my old cat and I’m going to love the new cat just like the old one. I expect this cat to be different and will learn it’s ways but as I look around, there should be a cat living here.

          1. I love this. I had put my sweet Mia down on Sunday & her toys, water fountain (!), cat tree, scratch trees, etc surround me. I expect her to come greet me at my door when I get home. I want to honor her and give my love to another kitty. But I probably won’t get one that looks like her, I wanna make sure the new one knows she’s loved in her brand new family and that she’s loved for her own personality.

          2. 18 years. I had my “buddy boy“ for 18 long wonderful years. He died two weeks ago and I am completely devastated. I will eventually get a new cat. I can’t yet it’s too painful. I immediately threw out everything… His dishes his litter box… I couldn’t bear to look at any of that.
            I’m starting to remember the fun, not just the horror. When the wound heals… Then I will get a new one. In my unprofessional opinion… Just a couple days is not enough time. You need to wait. Not too long, but for a while.

  5. My beloved Maisie went on a long sleep the Sunday before Christmas day.A week before her back legs had become very shaky. I took her to the Cat hospital where she spent a week as they tried to find the cause of the problem. I was able to visit her for cuddles and she was so well cared for warm and purry. But she deteriorated and failed to respond to treatment. She looked her usual beautiful self which made it even harder to reach a decision. But it was the right choice. Maisie was only 12 but Maine coon cats can sometimes get this neurological problem. I miss her sooo much and am numbing my brain with endless TV. I have a great dog so still have some company but living without a cat around frightens me. At 82 I am too old to consider , in time, getting another as it would be unfair to home one knowing it would outlive me and have to go to another home. I am very lonely.

    1. So sorry Elizabeth. My cat Viva died today. I’m numb. Why not adopt an elderly cat? You sound a wonderful human being x

    2. I thought I would outlive a wee rescue kitten (found under a car hub in front of my apt). On January 13 he got out while I was shaking out the rugs and this time scooted off so fast I could not find him. Started to snow – went for blocks and blocks (I am 66 but disabled). Put up ads so on. The on the 15th a neighbor knocked on my door to let me know he thought he saw Timmy in the street. He walked me there (not far away) and indeed it was my boy. Hit by a car but still alive. The neighbor took me to the vet but the scull, chin and other areas proved so much damaged that I let him go.

      It broke my heart as he was always trying to get out and I felt horrific. My point is I always worried about HIM outliving me and obviously, he did not. I was living in isolation due to the disability I have and he was my best buddy – always licking my nose and super funny antics. This article has helped a lot.

      I would suggest an elderly cat and have backup (neighbors, family or others) to care for the cat if it outlives you.

    3. Hi Elizabeth, I’m so sorry for your loss. I think you would love a senior little lady or little man. I just had to put down my 18 year old princess. We adopted her at 17 and she was in rough shape. She lived a year and a half with us and she smothered us with love, and we loved her back. She still had so much love to give and we loved every second of it and adopting a senior cat was the greatest decision. I miss her so much already. Moral of the story is, senior cats rock and I’m sure you would give one a loving home, and they would love to love you back.

    4. How about getting a much older cat? Many shelters have such furballs. Younger people want kitties. We older people understand and can really show our love to oldsters.

    5. You might consider fostering a cat that is waiting for a permanent home. Even better, there are many, many senior cats that desperately need homes and are hard to place because of their age. I’ve seen many I’d love to have, but even though I wish I could just bring them all home with me, I can care for only one, and when I do get another cat, I want a healthy, youngish one because I cannot bear the possibility of losing another cat anytime soon. I lost my wonderful cat of 13 to cancer almost a year ago. We had to have him euthanized, and that was so hard! But it was the right thing to do for him. I am about ready to get another cat, but I sort of feel that the right one will cross my path when the time comes, just like my kitty I lost did. I certainly understand how you feel. I’m still not over losing my sweet boy. I don’t cry at the drop of a hat anymore, but if I think about him for very long the tears can still roll. I miss him so much! I miss having a sweet kitty to love.

  6. My sweet Miss Marmalade was a stray that I rescued 6 years ago. She went outside every day to climb and explore and play. She came home every evening, without fail. On this past November 6th she didn’t come home. I have searched for her extensively ever since, to no avail. I am beyond heartbroken and wracked with guilt for ever allowing her to be an “outdoor” cat. But she loved to be outside and was so athletic and wiley, I deluded myself that she would always be okay. I have been consumed with grief and guilt. And then today I adopted another cat. And I’m afraid it was a huge mistake. She had been at the rescue for over one year and I felt so bad for her. But she looks too much like my ginger Marmalade but is nothing like her. And now she is hiding under the sofa and won’t come out and it’s making me miss Marmalade even more and feel guilty all over again for adopting a cat before I was ready. I don’t know what to do. I want to give her time to get acclimated, but I’m afraid I’ll make unfair comparisons forever. And to top it all off, my mom died exactly two weeks before Marmalade disappeared. After that, Marmalade was literally all I had left and now I feel like I’m trying to force myself and this new cat to fill a void that cannot be forced. But I’ll feel worse if I give this poor cat back to the rescue after all she’s been through. She’s been adopted and returned twice before, poor thing. I’m probably overthinking it, but I’m afraid this isn’t the cat for me. Or rather, it was too soon to adopt and I’m making unfair comparisons and not feeling like I have the patience needed to help her feel loved and secure. *sigh* I just want Marmalade back. This cat feels like a substitute and then I feel even more guilt. What to do?

    1. Becca, I made the mistake, a long time ago when my beautiful first cat, Miffy, died, to get a cat too soon after her death, because I felt so terrible without her. I had to take the new cat back to the RSPCA. I do think it would be best if you do take her back & explain, otherwise you will resent this cat and not bond with her properly. Take time to get over your grief for Miss Marmalade and try to get a cat, who has different colouring and looks different to your last cat. I now take about 6 months to a year to get over my beautiful cats. I had to have my lovely cat Mittens put to sleep on 19th December & I am still feeling devastated and going through the grieving process. In your heart you will know when it will be the right time to think about another lovely cat to share your life with you.

    2. Maybe give both yourselves a break. I would keep her and let her grow into the space. I would allow yourself to grieve your kitty. When I would lose a cat in honor of that cat I rescued another. Mostly they just showed up – sometimes days when the original cat died. I always think of the needs of the cat rather then mine – they are unique individual souls and she is already traumatized and that may explain her behavior.

      Just the thought of it having to go back to what is already a traumatic situation is to me unbearable. She will show her unique personality soon enough. She must know you are grieving and maybe reacting to that. Try to discover her personality and give her the love she needs – you will be rewarded.

      She obviously has issues if she has been returned but by being returned as the owners thought she did not meet their needs rather then hers must be devastating for her.

    3. Hi Becca,
      I am experiencing the same feelings. I lost my cat of 18 years exactly a year ago. He was my soulmate, without a doubt. I figured a year was long enough for my grief to dissipate, and it really seemed that way, until we started looking at shelters for new cat friends. Every night after going to the shelter I felt really uncomfortable, like I was going to have a panic attack, and end up sobbing. I thought it would go away when we actually got new cats home. It felt so important to open our home to a cat who needed a safe and loving home. We ended up adopting a bonded pair last night and I have not been able to stop crying. It feels like I woke up from a terrible dream and my beloved cat just died yesterday instead of a year ago. I am having similar feelings of regretting adopting, because I can hardly look at them without sobbing. My husband is being really supportive, but thinks I need to make up my mind fast if I want to give up these new cats. I want to believe that I’ll adjust to this newness and grief but I can’t tell if i will. Maybe it’ll be years before I can consider really loving a cat again. On the other hand these cats are pretty perfect and sweet and I would feel abominable taking them back to the shelter.
      How are you doing now? What have you decided to do?

      Love and thanks,
      Rebecca

      1. I lost my baby girl Kiki two days ago. I was blessed to have her in my life 23 years, never sick one day! Two months ago she had a sezure and lost most of her site, we adapted our home and she went back to her old self! We realized that she wasn’t going to live forever and even though she got through this we had to prepare ourselves. This past week she deteriorated, she ate less and less than just drank water. At the end we brought the water to her on our bed. I petted her constantly, it was the only thing that comforted her. She took one last breath and a small meow and went home. I have not stopped crying since. The first morning I woke up and as usual she would be on my belly waiting to eat, but she wasn’t, I cried. My husband took away her bowls, I screamed at him and cried. I don’t know what to do. I feel like even thinking of adopting another is betraying my Kiki. Please help! I need some advice.

  7. my cat Ashes just died today,found her under a plant,with her eyes and mouth open,cold ,i hug her and cried,i have been crying all day now.I miss her,i have other 7 cats but she was special cause she is the mother of 2 of them,i think they miss her too.we are all grieving.

    1. I just lost my cat on 12/7/19 and like your baby I found him cold, eyes and mouth open. He was my special one too, I love and have loved many cats in my lifetime, but he was the one that had my entire heart and soul. I can’t stop crying, and the waves mentioned above just keep crashing. I want you to know that you are not alone here in your grief.

      1. I can so understand, I lost my Tabitha over two years ago but now it is another year starting without her my grief seems to have returned. I too have taken in other cats but love the way you say ‘he was the one who had my entire heart and soul’ That is beautiful – so true – and the way I feel about Tabitha. God bless you and your cat
        Suzanne

      2. We lost Our Guy,Mr.Blue 1-18-2020 and had him cremated.he came home today.My daughter and i cant stop crying..I cant sleep well.Miss gïving him good night kisses …He was 16 & 1/2 years old.He was dropped off and adopted us when he was young.(16 years ago ) Weve had many animals but he was my guy! Need to hold an aninal again but need time..so confused..????????????????????????

        1. I just lost my cat mandu after almost 18 years on 3-21-20 it was probably the worst thing ever he was fine and then couldn’t walk and then just laid there I stayed with him the whole day and then he died that night I feel guilty bcs I feel like I could have done something but honestly I think he was just old. Any way I got a new kitten and I really like him but also have mixed feelings so I get what u mean but it does help a little I think it will help more when he’s bigger he’s so little now he hasn’t really developed his personality. It is so hard to go on but I know he would wan5 me to and I swear he still visits me

  8. My cat has been missing for almost 4 days (he is most likely dead), and it feels like I have been crying and mourning and grieving him for a decade. I miss my precious basket of purrs. He was one of my few friends, he never judged me, he loved me unconditionally, and he was a light in my dark, depressing life. I feel as if that light has burnt out.I hope this article can help me to gradually heal. My heart aches and weeps for my furry angel.

    1. Did your cat come back? Mine has been missing since November 6th. I feel your pain. I truly do. I’m so sorry. I hope your cat returned. It is absolutely unbearable. ????

  9. After reading many of these comments today I feel that I have some comfort in knowing that I am not alone.I feel like my heart is breaking and trying to come to terms with losing Cleo our adored little cat is emotionally exhausting missing her so much.
    I was glad to have found this website reading the stories shared so sad and heartbreaking.
    Thank you. for sharing your loss and your grief as it helps immensely My love goes out to you all

    1. I understand what this grief feels like, I had to have my beautiful 18 and half year old cat Bubba put to sleep yesterday. This pain is the worst I have ever felt. I had the vet home and he was sedated first in my arms surrounded by his favourite toys Mr fishy, Tiggy and Birdie. He had cancer over a year and half ago and was operated on, unfortunately the cancer returned on his kidneys in June of this year. I know how lucky we were to have this extra time with him. He was the love and light of my life. He was very special and gave me unconditional love. We called him our baby cat and we would cover him up in one of his duvet after brushing him which he loved. My heart is in pieces, we lost his brother 4 years ago of cancer at the age of 14 and I thought that was heart wrenching . I keep looking at his blankets on the bottom bunk bed and his toys and wishing he was back with us but not ill. I feel very lucky to have had in my life and I owe him everything. This site will help me as I know everyone understands the devastating heartbreak of letting go of our beloved, cherished pets, doing the right thing by them. He and his brother Button will be in mine and my familes hearts forever. One day I know this unbearable pain will ease. My love, understanding and sympathy goes out to you all.

      1. I understand as I feel the same love ( a word I scarcely use) for 17,5 years for my friend Raju…had to let him go alas on 16 januari 2020 due to acute paralyzis from FATE/ saddle thrombose. Awful and suddenly.

        The grief is real deep..but there are also the unique memories and being thankful looking back to having a deep bond with another living creature.

        As I read here for most of us its the same.
        These cats were not mere pets…they were or are, living creatures…partners…with whom we share a great deal of our lives with.

        I will take time to grief on my dear Raju. I will honor his life because he touched my soul and my life. In time I will probably open up to another cat. Knowin that this will be a totally different experience not emulating what has already happened.

        Good luck and stenght to all fellow cat guardians…

  10. My heart hurts so badly I dont know how I will ever recover. We had to put our 18 1/2 yo cat Ollie to sleep yesterday. We called him Baba most of the time. We were away last week and left him with the same pet sitter we always do. He was fine all week. We got back Sunday and he was fine. Then on Tues, I noticed he wasn’t eating much. On Wed he seemed lethargic. He laid on my stomach for hours which he never does. He wasn’t eating at all. I thought maybe he couldn’t bend his neck down so I put the food and milk on a stand and he ate a bit. My husband got up in the middle of the night to check on him and he had peed on the tile in the sunporch which he has never done. My husband pet him for awhile and put ice in his water bowl. When I came down a couple hours later, he couldn’t put any pressure on his back legs at all. When I touched his leg or paw he would howl. I thought he broke it. As soon as the vet opened we took him over. He didn’t even fuss about going to the vet and normally he would cry the whole way there. He was so tired -just looking in his eyes we could tell he was ready to go. They ran bloodwork and his white count was very high. The vet said he was in a lot of pain. She suggested maybe X-rays-maybe he had cancer. But we couldn’t bring him home if he couldn’t’ walk-that would’ve been cruel. We held him close and told him how much we love him and how much joy he brought us as she put him to sleep. I am devastated and can’t stop crying. Not sure how I will ever get over this. Goodnight my sweet baby boy.

    1. I am in the same place, Laurie. We had to put our beloved Memphis to sleep this morning. She was 19 1/2 years old. I am in so much pain right now I think my heart has actually broken in half. I can’t stop crying. We loved her so much. I can’t believe I will never hold her in my arms again. We had to go to an event tonight and I could think of nothing but her the entire time. Then we stopped at Walmart on the way home. I bought a toy for her even though I know she is gone. I couldn’t stop myself. The pain it so terrible. I just needed to feel like I was bringing something home to her. When my husband saw the toy in the cart he just nodded because he is hurting too. I am so sorry for your loss of Ollie and what you are going through. It does help me to know that someone else understands.

    2. My heart goes out to you. I did the same today. 2 weeeks ago my sweet boy was diagnosed with throat/ lung cancer after taking him to the vet thinking he had a dental issue. I too had come home from a vacation when he started eating less than normal and eating in an altered way. It’s amazing how our fur babies awaken so much love within us. My thoughts and prayers are with you through this difficult time and I have faith we will get through it ❤️

      1. You are so right, Charniece. It is a very special love we have shared with them. I am so sorry to hear of your loss as well. My thoughts and prayers are with you also.

    3. Lauri, I understand your pain.. and I pray for peace for You.. We allowed our sweet “Cheeto” to cross the rainbow bridge at 11:00 this morning.. wasn’t expecting to have to make this decision at my vet this morning.. my husband nor my son were with me.. I called them both.. we made the decision as a family but my stomach felt like I was punched… and I felt so sick.. holding my boy as he peacefully went to sleep broke my heart.. All I can do is cry all day.. I hope God heals my heart as this was the hardest decision I have ever made.. I know it was the right devision but it doesn’t make my heart hurt any less.. these stories are helpful .. ❤️????❤️

  11. I lost my cat Bella on the 3rd of September. She truly was like a soul mate. She was there for me through everything. I have struggled for quite a while with addiction and mental health issues… she never called me junkie when everyone els did. She loved me unconditionally for who I am. I’ve lost my best friend. I’ll never forget….

    1. I lost my cat today, he’s been in our family for about 14 years or so. He was fine but then yesterday we started to notice that he was not feeling good. We thought that he just had a uti but. He ended up having a blood hemmorage in his brain, they also think he had a stroke. I’m absolutely heart broken. I just keep of thinking of all the pain he was in. This was so sudden I still cant believe it.

      1. Sarah, I too went through what you are going through on Nov. 6. The day began just as every other but around 1:30 in the afternoon, my beautiful male cat, Whiskers, left the room where I was and walked though the hall into another bedroom, came out and stopped at the door to his bedroom and acted like he was choking. I grabbed him up, ran to my husband and came to the realization he was having a seizure likely from a stroke. The seizure did not stop even though it subsided. He was almost 15 and my heart is so so broken. I now am left with his tiny sister who is also ill with kidney issues and am well aware her days are numbered.

  12. Day 2 after our cat was killed,
    Last year my partner brought me a cat for my birthday, but when he went to pick her up she had a sister that still had no home to go to, so being big cat lovers we didn’t want to split the sisters up, they had such a close bond with each other we just had to bring them both home so we did, 14months 2 girls tess and cleo then one day I got that horrible call from the vets, both of our cats are home cats and my son had accidentally left his window open both cats got out but sadly one got hit by a car and was found by my neighbour, they took her straight to the vets but sadly she past away, I have found this weekend to be the hardest ever, even more heart breaking is watching her sister tess crying out for her, trying to do everthing we can to help her with the lose of her sister, wish I could do more for her

    1. I just put my birman male boy of 16 years down 2 days ago. I have a female birman the same age. Gus was such a personable loving kitty. He was demanding in a cute way. He had answers to questions you might ask him. I miss him so severely. It is a pain you wish you could escape and there is not a thing you can do. It comes in waves. I am just so heartsick. It makes it even worse when I see my female kitty the same age crying walking around looking for him not knowing where he is. I try to comfort her more and let her have more freedoms. I just hope she can cope. The same goes for me.

  13. I had to put down my beloved Kramer due to stomach tumors today. My heart is broken to pieces. He was so much of my life, my home, my heart and it’s so empty tonight without him here. I’ve had a few animals in life but nothing like this loving creature. He was perfect to me and I felt so lucky to have him. When I held him at the vets he hugged me like a koala bear with his face buried in my neck. I squeezed him as tight as possible, as long as possible, and then I held and kissed him until his last breath. It was quick and peaceful. He is home now and buried under a shady pine. But how I miss him and the love he so freely gave. It really is agony and the tears won’t stop. I think this night is going to be pretty rough. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers. Bless anyone else going through this loss…it’s the pits.

    1. I’m so sorry for your loss and I can relate to how you feel. We had to put down our beautiful kitty Pumpkin yesterday due to intestinal cancer. It feels like sheer agony and missing him like crazy. I’m grateful for this site as I don’t feel alone. I feel blessed that he was with us for the last 8.5 years. As hard as it is not being able to touch him, I took solace that he no longer is suffering and is at the rainbow bridge. If you haven’t read it, you should, it is a good read and a comfort. Take care and I hope with time it will get better.

      1. just lost my orange tabby Newton yesterday,also intestinal cancer to blame I feel so empty inside,he left my neighbor 8 years ago to live with me .He chose me to be his friend such an honor that was will take a long time to grieve,I thank all who shared thier furry friends stories.

        1. I lost my beautiful Leia on July 20 and she too left my neighbor to be my friend . I always thanked her for choosing me.

      2. I am so sad! I had to put down my beloved Zoe. She was such a BEAUTIFUL CAT. She had cancer and it came back twice. Had it removed both times. This last time they gave a good prognosis and within about two weeks I found a lump around her shoulder blade. I couldn’t put her through any more surgeries. I will miss her so much. I was hoping she would have lived past 11 years but that did not happen.

    2. I am so very sorry for your loss and can relate. I had my Schmeegi put down a week ago. She was 16 and I am a complete mess. I am in complete agony and despair. I have a hard time focusing on anything and realize now she was what inspired me ever day and made me happy. I still have her sister and my dog which I love immensely but she was the one that melted my heart. I hope i learn to deal with this horrific loss and emptiness. I pray the pain is becoming bearable for you too.

      1. I had to put my sweet Emily to sleep yesterday. She was 18 years old. My mom got her for me as a surprise and at first I didn’t want her. The love we shared over those 18 years can never be replaced. She was the sweetest little cat you could ever imagine and had the personality of a little dog. When you walked up to her she would fall down at your feet and beg to be petted. I work from home so she was always hanging around my desk. She’d jump up and get right in front of the monitor so I had to pay attention to her and then she rub her head on my hands as I’d be typing away on the keyboard. At night she would get right between my legs and tuck herself in like a little burrito. She was still active and seemed fine until about a week ago when she seemed to be having problems using the bathroom. She seemed very tired over the next few days and I sensed something was wrong. We took her to The vet to get blood tests done and the next day the vet called to tell me she was in renal failire and didn’t have much time. I knew the day would come and I tried to prepare myself mentally as much as possible. On Sunday she layer around and had trouble walking. I carried her around and tried to comfort her as much as possible but my heart was absolutely shredded inside. My mom helped me by taking her to the vet the next morning to put her to sleep, as I was too emotional to do it myself. Before I put her in her carrier I told her goodbye and we made eye contact for a few seconds. It’s like she understood me and she was telling me goodbye too. I had her for half of my life and the emptiness without her is killing me inside. I just keep thinking of her everywhere I look. I imagine holding her like a little baby and walking around the house like we used to do. I’d carry her to the windows and talk to her as she looked outside. This little cat was the most genuine love I have EVER. I just feel so empty inside right now.. I try to hide the tears as much as I can but when I’m alone the grief is unbearable. I hope I see you again someday, my precious little Emily.. I will NEVER forget you and the love that we shared for 18 years

        1. Sorry for your loss Todd, I posted here back in April about Jasper. I had to send him over. I’m still grieving and check back here once in awhile to read posts. Your post definitely made me emotional. I know exactly how you feel. Those of us who have posted here are also lucky enough to have received that unconditional love from our cat babies!

        2. So sorry for your loss and I can definately relate. Had a very strong bond with my 14 year old cat Baby.
          This has been the most painful of all griefs I’ve ever experienced. I loved her so much.
          Please allow yourself to grieve. It’s okay and essential.

    3. I too am grieving the loss of my grey kitty Smoke. It hurts so deep. She was taken needlessly, 10 yrs old by two large dogs. While I have other cats she will forever remain “Smoke Baby” and I miss her dearly right now!

  14. I’m so glad I found this site. I don’t feel so alone anymore. Like all others here I miss my Kitti. I also had to put her down (gosh so hard to say those words) suddenly on 5/10/2019. It was the hardest decision I had to make in a long time. So hard to come home and she isn’t there. I miss her so much.

    1. So sorry for your loss, it’s so heartbreaking when they die, I’ve just been through it. I’m still only 3 weeks away from my Dad’s first anniversary without him! I’ve made a special note to myself and printed out some of her best photos and going to make a collage of her in my flat. Chin up, it’s early day. Amy x

    2. I feel for you . My cat just died . a coyote got him . He was 19 years old which was great. I had him that long . Sorry for your loss

    3. I couldn’t agree more about finding this site. I was on holiday when I received the news about Harry, my little old man of 22 years. My daughter took him to the vets as he wasn’t able to stand and she was advised that his kidneys had failed – she thought about the offer of keeping him alive until I got home, but that would have meant him being on a drip in the vets for two days and we both agreed that it was cruel. Although I so wanted to just see him one last time, it would have been so so selfish of me, but I haven’t stopped crying since Wednesday. I feel so much pain and like yourself, coming home is so hard. When we got back yesterday evening I was a mess – his little bowls were still where they always were, his bed was empty and I wasn’t greeted by my little man like I was used to. Finding this site has been a Godsend – I’m sure my family think I’m being overly dramatic but the grief I feel is immense. I feel like I let him down by not being here when he needed me most and I can’t move past that at the moment. I’m okay one moment and then I go to do something and I’m looking for the cat to come trotting behind me and then I’m sobbing again because he’s not there. I’ve lost pets before, but I have never known anything like this – I literally feel pain in my heart and I just so want to tell him that I love him and say goodbye.

    4. I’m so sorry for your loss❤️ Your decision was made out of love, just as ours was. It’s excruciating. We buried our precious PJ Purrmotor last night. I still can’t believe he’s gone. A sweeter cat there never was. I’d rather have the shock for ourselves than prolonged suffering for him. Don’t know how we’re supposed to get through it, but a little boy kitten was born here last fall. We adopted him and he sleeps in our bed. Now I know why. You cared deeply for your cat and you grieve for him. Most people should have such love.

    5. I am so sorry for your loss. I had 2 sisters Mitzi and Minou (20 yrs. old) but we lost Mitzi this Easter. I miss her so much. As I am writing this I am crying.
      Minou is the runt of the litter and we have her but she is so failing. She followed Mitzi everywhere. There is such an emptiness in my heart.
      Reading this from others has helped me to deal with this sadness.
      Thank you all.

      1. I am about to be forced to give up a kitten which is healthy and bites a lot. Because my husband is getting older 82 and does not feel happy with another kitten , to much for him. I bonded with her and friends gave me cat gifts which I will give to some other friends. But I am grieving as Monday I MUST return her to the humane society. My husband also had a heart problem and heart pacer so I can’t upset him. I’M grieving like I had her for 20 years instead of almost 7 or 8 weeks. I FEEL a lot of pain called grief. Sorry for your terrible lost. My kitty I hope gets a great home with people who love her. I loved even though she bites and gets wild.

        1. I found a wee kitten outdoors and took him in. He bit and was very wild. I didn’t mind the bitting he was too young when lost and never taught not to – and it was never hard. Later he would be the funniest with his wild antics – jumping – almost flying all over the place – bouncing off walls.

          And he would link my face and nose instead of biting. I’ve had many cats but this guy made me laugh (I live along) and always gave me hugs and kisses and kisses and kissed. Your kitten might be just one special tween later?

          I had to put him down as he slipped out (always wanted out) and I searched for blocks and blocks. A neighbor found him hit by a car – head bashed in but still alive. I had to of course say goodbye and let him be out of misery. My heart is broken and who would have thought he would be so loving with all of his original biting.

          I hope it is a no kill shelter – many are put down for having “unique” personalities and given back. Maybe you have another room he can be in for a while until you “train” him.

  15. I had to put my Bella to sleep on Mother’s Day. She had Congestive Heart Failure and those last few hours of her life, she struggled to breathe. Euthanizing her was a quick split decision based on two very real things. I wanted her suffering to end and I could not afford the necessary medical treatment to possibly extend her life. I have been crying nonstop for the last 48 hours, wishing and wondering what could have possibly done to avoid this, or how could I have not sensed that she was so sick. My apartment is soo quiet now and I just don’t know how I’m going to cope without her greeting me at the door whenever I come home from work. I am just at a loss for words and my heart is so filled with sadness. But I didn’t want to see her suffering and that’s the only thing I take solace in. She was supposed to be around for a long time

    1. My lovely Harvey took the decision out of my hands. I was going to take him to the vet on Monday to find out if anything more could be done for him knowing that it was going to be very difficult for me financially but I couldn’t just leave him to suffer. He always woke me up in the mornings by jumping on my bed but on Sunday he didn’t. I went downstairs and he was unconscious at the side of his bed. I wrapped him up and lay him on my lap, stroking him. After a while, I thought I’d make a cup of tea and stay with him until the end. When I went back with my tea, he’d gone. I ask myself if I should just have raced with him to the vet, but really I know that we wouldn’t have made it. He was 13. Other people’s cats live to be 20, why couldn’t mine? What did I do wrong? The vet had said that she thought he may have cancer. Why oh why? I miss him so much.

    2. Sally McFadden

      Dear LaDonna,
      I am so sorry that you lost your precious Bella. When I read your story it was as if I was telling my story. I feel your pain. I also lost my cat Zu-Zu on May 22, 2019. I am so alone, I have nobody also the people I know just don’t get it. I can’t sleep, or do what I usually do. I miss her as much at losing a family member. I just keep thinking an Angel gave me her and I gave her back to an Angel to take her home. Remember one thing LaDonna, we did the most kindest thing for our beautiful thing for our cats, it was the most unselfish thing to do for them, not to let them suffer. I will keep you in my thoughts and my prayers for you and your Bella. I know she is sitting on a cloud, looking down on you and grinning. God Bless You.
      w

    3. I feel for you . My dad died Inn 2010 then my mom In 2013 . I was the only person left in my house and thank god I had my sisters cat she let me take care of . My Kitty meant the world to me . Sorry for your loss

    4. LaDonna I understand how hard that decision is. I replay the moment in my mind wondering if I could have done something more. You did the right thing and I also take solace in knowing my Kitti will not have to suffer. Thank you for sharing. My thoughts are with you.

  16. I just put my beloved cat Min to sleep yesterday at age 17. She was old and had kidney disease, and I had already decided not to let her suffer when she started showing final symptoms. Until two days ago she was still active, alert, curious, eating & drinking well, but then she had a seizure and afterward she was clearly uncomfortable, couldn’t walk well, and wouldn’t eat — she just wanted to sleep. So I knew it was time. I spent a night and a day cuddling with her and then took her to the vet. In the day since then, I’ve learned that there’s a world of difference between grieving for a cat who is still curled up asleep on your lap, and grieving for one who is gone from the world. I was sad before, knowing she was going to die, and even in the vet’s office while I petted her as she died. But leaving her at the vet’s and going home to an empty house with no Min in it just makes me want to turn back time so I can have her with me again. I keep wanting to hug and pet her to comfort myself, and expecting to see her around every corner or just about to jump up on my lap, and then remembering every 30 seconds that she’s gone. I’m almost 50 but she was my first real pet, the one who was truly mine and who loved me above all others. I had her before I had my children. Her primary goal in life was to be as close to me as possible at all times. Intellectually I know I did the right thing, but I feel like I betrayed her by sending her away. I’m comforted by the fact that we did have time to say goodbye, and she lived a good long life, and I was as ready as anyone ever could be, but I still just didn’t know it could hurt this much.

    1. I have just read your very sad news and I am crying tears of sadness for you and your cat Min. I too have just today lost my wonderful, beautiful cat called Macy-Grey. She was not ill and our day had started as any other normal day. I was in the kitchen baking and my husband came in and told me that a lady has just been to our front door and told him that Macy had been run over and had died. My husband is ill with P.S.P ( a horrid form of Parkinson’s) and gets confused sometimes and so I wondered if he had imagined it all. I went out and run into a lady carring a box with my darling Macy inside. As we walked back to our house I stayed calm until I reached our back garden. Then I screamed and cried and let out all the hurt that was within my heart. Macy was well known by all our neighbours as she wandered about and made many cat friends. She loved to bully our dog called Gladstone and our other cat called Rupert. Macy would have been five years old next month. I am going to miss our nightime “loving” as we would sit together and I would chat to her as I stroke her grey and black fur. Macy would be aloof with us all during the day unless she wanted feeding or being let out into the fresh air but at the end of the day it was me she would turn to for her special cuddles. I have now placed her in our back garden where she joins our other pets we have lost over the years. Goodbye my darling Macy …I miss you so much

      1. I am sorry for your loss my cat max was hit by a car abd died tragicaly while i was on vacation.. My eldesr son took him to the vet where he was doa.. Imso sad..i feel sad i didnt het to say goodbye.. The vet is placing his ashes in sea..

    2. Hi. I have just had my cat Gem put to sleep today. I think she had a stroke she was nearly 13. I feel like someone has ripped my heart out. I had her from 6 weeks old she was my baby. I really hope that that I will wake up every day with a little less pain in my heart. Monday 13th May 2019

      1. Hi karen
        My heart and soul go out to you
        I had to let my beautiful siamese cat simba go too yesterday
        I really know your intense. Pain for your loss.Simba had three teeth extracted last week and was doing well until he took a turn for the worse and the vet thinks he may have had a stroke.the devestation is emense as we had him over 14 years and he was like a baby and was with.me all day every day
        It’s so hard to cope with life without them isny it
        Sending you love at this very sad time
        Anne

    3. Alden, I’m so sorry for your loss. It makes me cry. Your Min sounds a lot like my AZ Meow Meow. He was 17 as well and had thyroid, kidney and glaucoma disease. He had been getting IV fluids once a week and had still been fairly well up until yesterday when he started having seizures. I didn’t know they were seizures at the time but when I took him in the vet office this morning they told me that’s what was happening. It hurt so much to let him go but I’m glad he is not suffering any longer. It was so hard to leave without him, to come home without him, be here without him and I’m in more pain than I thought imaginable. I’m glad I got the chance to tell him how much I loved him, how much I will miss him and to thank him for being my best friend for so long. I am sending love and hugs your way.
      AZ Meow Meow (May 2002 – May 13, 2019)

    4. Your story really touched me, out of all of those here. Your words really express how I feel having had to have my also 17-year-old cat put to sleep today. We knew that eventually this day would come, but I just always thought it was somewhere down the road, and then suddenly a week ago she began to decline, and started eating less and less each day and growing weaker and thinner. I slept with her for the past 4 nights so I could help her drink water and use the litter box and keep her company and hold her paw. And just this morning she was still here, but barely able to move, she was quiet and appeared to be at ease. Perhaps she would just die peacefully sometime during the day? But I couldn’t risk that she would suffer, or suddenly appear to be in pain perhaps in the middle of the night, so we took her to our sweet vet and held and pet her as she was put to sleep. She weighed just 3 pounds. : ( I am inconsolable, but your story helps in a tiny but so lovely way. Thank you.

    5. I relate so much to everything you wrote, particularly about the difference between the creeping sadness in the day or two before you put them to sleep as you try to make peace with what you know is about to happen, what you know you need to do—and the sheer, overwhelming pain in the moments and days after as you fully take in that they are gone forever. I’m sorry to everyone here who has lost their pet and thank you all for sharing your experiences. It is a big comfort we can all give each other, even anonymously online. It has been 5 weeks since I had to put my sweet Barnaby to sleep on June 15, 2019, but I still cry for him a little every day. He was 16 years, 4 months, and I’m grateful for every day with him, since the day I rescued him as a 9-month old from underneath a parked car on a rainy night in NYC years ago. But I miss him and my small apartment is so empty without him.

  17. We had to put our “Meaty” down on Monday night of this week. He was a wonderful, intelligent, loving and happy all black cat – just under 3 years old. We are heartbroken.
    There are SO many things we will remember about him. He was a rescue cat…we were looking at all the cats and hadn’t decided on one yet and they said “there’s another one…he’s back in the corner and he never comes out of his cage”.

    We said – he must be depressed – let’s see him. Thank God they told us about him or we would never have known he was there! Well he was the one and we took him home.
    We had him for about 2 years and grew to love him SO much. We always said he was a little person in a cat body. He talked to us when he wanted us to know something..he was so smart he KNEW that we loved him and that we were there to take care of him. He TRUSTED us completely.
    I work from home so I spent every day with him and developed SUCH a sspecial bond with him.

    He used to LOVE climbing up on my shoulder and I would hold him like when burping a baby…I did it a few times a day because He LOVED it so much.

    Ill NEVER FORGET the day a few weeks before he died….we had landscaping done and it was so loud it scared him and he ran into the woods area behind our house. When all the landscaping was done I said “I need to go find Meaty – I havent seen him for awhile and I hope he didnt run too far”.

    I went calling for him and he heard me and came running…actually galloping. It was like 2 people running toward each other in slow motion in the movies. He was talking to me like “Oh my God – THERE you are….I have missed you so much – I am so happy to see you – PLEASE pick me up the way that you do”!! I picked him up and he rubbed his head on my head and purred like I had never heard him purr before.
    I remember saying to him ” Meaty – I love you and I know that you love me…I really love you Meaty”

    Last Sat morning he would not get up…was super lethargic…no interest in eating. Took him to emergencyvet – fever of unknown origin of 106. They gave him shots and fluids and he seemed to bounce back by about 70 % so we were hopeful. Sunday sttarted slowing down by late afternoon…Monday he turned yellow and was in really bad shape…raced him back to vet…he couldnt hold himself up…couldnt move…seemed to have lost 98% of his life force.
    They think it was dreaded FIP virus. We put him to sleep after 5 hours at vet.

    We are heartbroken. I am a 54 yo man and I dont think I have ever felt such pain.

    Goodbye Meaty – The only thing that even gives me an ounce of comfort is that I have no regrets about how I loved you when you were alive. …and how when I would tell you every day that I loved you ..you would always have that look in your eye like “I know that you do…I love you too and I understand”.

    GOD i miss him.

    1. That was beautiful. I just had to put my cat, Martini to sleep and it was like a punch in the gut….She was 9 years old and the illness unfolded very quickly..One day they seem fine and the next they are very sick. She was in the hospital for a week before we finally put her to rest…So hard, isn’t it?

  18. We had to put my 20 year old boy to sleep yesterday. I only had him for 6 months as I took him in when he was in a state. Seriously underweight and flea ridden. He was my neighbour’s cat and I’ve known him for 5 years. As soon as I met him we were taken with each other. His owner said she’d never seen him like that with anyone. The poor boy had a lot of health problems. I knew when I took him in it would only be a matter of time. He looked like he would drop any day soon. He had a heart murmur, kidney disease, athritis, stomach problems and dental issues. He was in pain but grateful to have a loving home. I got him his meds and fed him what he needed. I watched him transform before my eyes. His black and white fur became glossy and full and he started filling out nicely. But I noticed he was trying to tell me he was in pain. He always lay down quite stiffly and as the months went on he started to hide and go off on his own and meow at me.
    We took him to the vet as he had been vomiting frequently and there was blood in his stool. That was on Thursday. She said we would have to consider our options as we were only keeping him comfortable. That night I decided that I needed to do it now for his sake. Of course I wish for him to be by my side and follow me everywhere forever but I couldn’t bear the thought of him suffering. He was a sweet, gentle boy who never showed a hint of aggression, even when he was in pain.
    I’m glad me and my husband were with him at the end. When the vet sedated him he looked so peaceful. I’d never seen him like that. Not in the 5 years I’ve known him. He was finally free of pain. I held his little paw and told him I loved him more than he could ever know. I promised that one day we will be together again.
    Today is hard though. His food and litter tray have been packed away. I came through to the living room, expecting him to be waiting for me, staring up at me excitedly and expectantly with his big golden eyes. Following me and meowing for food and cuddles. But his spot is empty and so is my heart. I miss him terribly. He was my little shadow. Always by my side. But not his spot is empty and my heart is too. I just wanted to write this somewhere. I feel lonely without my best friend and fur child. He was also my first cat so this is so hard to do but I’m happy to know he’s not in pain anymore.
    I’m going to be getting some of his ashes in a keychain so he can always be by my side and me and my husband will scatter the rest at the ocean so he can go around the world and see lots of new places and new people. He was very inquisitive by nature and I think he’d like that.

    1. Dear Kerri-Ann,

      Yesterday, I had to make the difficult decision to say goodbye to my 12.5 year old male cat Spencer. Your second to last paragraph you wrote is exactly how I am feeling right now. My husband and I do not have kids so he was our fur child. We rescued him at 10 months old and have had him with us since 2007.

      He is my 3rd cat, as I had my first one when I was 16 years old, but the grief of missing him and the emptiness in my heart is the same or even stronger than my previous two cats that I have had. I also am getting Spencer’s ashes and paw print on clay and card stock. It has been a difficult lapse of the past 30 hours plus he began to suddenly become ill this past Sunday afternoon.

      I took him to the vet last Monday evening, got meds for him and he did not get better. By Thursday night, I knew he was not going to get better. I took him back to our vet yesterday morning and then I said goodbye to him around 4pm yesterday afternoon. Thank you for posting your story. I am sorry that you did not have many years with your cat but the time that we get to be with our little shadows will be forever priceless in my heart.

    2. I’m reading this, like I imagine others are, with tears streaming down my cheeks.
      I’m a sort of amateur cat behaviorist, or as we are usually called, a “Cat Whisperer” :0) I would love to take credit for that and feel super smart, but my Mom has always said I came from the womb loving cats.
      So, imagine when you can successfully answer 98% of questions about cats asked of you… but then you have no one to go to when the thought of adopting two cuter than I can begin to describe kitten sisters breaks you into pieces. So i really just want to thank you for this incredibly thoughtful, grace-filled and practical article. Thank you for sharing your heart too. It was extremely weird to Google “when to adopt a cat after (luckily it anticipated the rest)” when you’re supposed to know so much about kitties. And i do – I just don’t yet know how to do this after this particular loss.
      Thank you again, this has truly helped. I’m so sad, & keeping it to myself for two months and eleven days has been … well, you know. Thank you again, so much.

    3. Kerri-Ann, you are such a wonderful human! Not many people want to take in a kitty with health problems, but it sure sounds like you were meant to, and that you had an incredible bond.
      I’ve heard so many stories of life, and of loss, with cats. I’m 50 (ugh, still can’t get used to that!), have had cats for over 40 years, once had seven at once, which was what i imagine heaven will be like — and until this second? Have never heard such an incredible, moving story. Thank you for loving your boy so much. I love your thoughts about the ocean too, that’s very very cool.

  19. Christi Dorrington

    My hubby and I lost one of our kitties March 5th. A week prior, we took him to the vet as an emergency visit. I noticed him not being himself but subtle changes but became more apparent during the night before taking him first thing in the morning. We almost lost him in the 1 mile car ride. The vet rushed him to the back to do a xray and put him on oxygen. He was diagnosed with CHF. The tapped some fluid off his chest and put him on 2 meds. He stayed all day and came home. He perked up but the vet said we probably only had days. I cried so much lately. I knew on the 4th because he was restless and not eating. I called a home vet to come help him. I felt it was a little traumatic because he got scared of her and I was holding him. HE was fighting to get out of my arms so I let him go. HE ran to the corner of the room with his paws sprawled out and panting. The vet told me that my crying was causing distress :( I have been beating myself up and so anxious/depressed. My hubby kept telling me how I should focus on the great life we gave Buddy. He was my uncle (more of a father) cat and when I would come over, he always greeted me where ever he was as an outside cat. One day, I came over with a carrier and took him home. We have lost 2 other cats over the years and I find myself so scared to lose them. Thank you for this article.

  20. I lost my soul mate, Jasper, last week. Words can’t really describe the pain. My husband and I came home to find him sprawled out on the floor with no use of his hind legs and labored breathing. We took him to emergency vet and was told he had a blood clot. We had been treating him for hyperthyroidism, unaware of any heart condition. We had to fight for him and had tests run and pain meds administered. He was kept in an oxygen chamber. After just over a day, his condition deteriorated. Blood tests showed kidneys were starting to fail and the clot had not moved. We had to make the heart wrenching decision to send him over to the other side. Now, the house is empty without him. I know I have to honor my best friend and soul mate that loved me unconditionally for the 12 years we were together. I will never forget him, my beautiful all black kitty with green eyes that followed me everywhere. Reading through posts has helped me realize that I’m not alone in this grieving process, so thank you all for sharing your stories.

    1. I feel your pain Rachel. I lost my beloved Kitti this past Friday. Had to make the worst decision to put her down. She also had a blood clot in her left hind leg and labored breathing. I knew Kitti had a heart condition but she lived three more years after being diagnosed. I only had her for seven years. I did not know how old she was due to rescuing her in my neighborhood after a family abandoned her. I suspect she may have been eight or nine. My heart is so heavy and everywhere I turn in my home is a constant reminder of her. I loved her so much and miss her terribly. Thank you for allowing all of us to share our grief here.

  21. I thought my little 17 yr old Bee Bee had a hairball she could not expel… Turns out it was a large tumor on her lung pressing on her larynx making it progressively difficult for her to purr, and even to breathe.
    My poor baby… thinking it was certainly a hairball… I started giving her laxatives per vet’s instructions which she hated… and also sub-q fluids as she was also needing hydration daily. This went on for about 5 days until an x-ray revealed the tumor, which had spread to her lymph nodes. As she was starting to show her first signs of suffering – I had to have her put to sleep the very next day….after spending a very special 24 hours with her – my only and closest companion.
    Although, given her age, I have been trying to prepare myself for the day when I would have to say goodbye…
    BUT how silly I was really… I was NOT prepared for the gaping HOLE she has left in my life, my heart, my home… which now just feels like a cold lonely house. I simply did not realize how emotionally dependent I have been on her all these years. — Its so hard. I will love you forever you special smart and funny little cat. – – and I will try to think more about the countless fun and precious times … then about the fact that you are gone from my physical world forever now. – Please help me with that if you can dear little spirit. — I miss you more than words can ever say. THANK YOU for EVERYTHING you gave me every day!

  22. My Family put our Beautiful SAM down after 16 years. We miss him so much. We just got his ashes back today. He’s Home but man the Pain doesn’t go away. I Love You Pal.

    1. I just received the ashes Tuesday of my beloved feline Tyke. He was 16 yrs and 10 mos. The hole in my heart is excruciating. I miss him more everyday and it’s so hard going forward. We had been through so much together, he and I were kindred spirits. I know it will be years before I heal from his loss, he was my life.

      1. I’m so sorry for your loss. I too recently lost my beloved furry companion at the age of 14 & a half yrs. His name was Stitch and I noticed during Christmas holiday he was losing weight & didn’t enjoy eating like he used to. His vet warned me earlier in the year that his kidneys were slowing down. So on Jan 3rd, 2019 I brought him in to see his vet who said he was going into renal failure and I made the hardest decision. He & I traveled everywhere together and my grief of his loss is still heartbreaking. I have his ashes beside my bed with a picture of him nearby. Knowing he’s not in pain and in peace helps my mind, but my heart aches still for him. I lost a piece of my heart when I lost my precious boy! So I know how you feel and send my sympathy to you & your family.

      2. Patrick Elliott

        Wendy, I know the feeling. My wife and zi found my cat’s lifeless body on our couch yesterday after returning from a business trip. I am devastated. She was my constant companion at home. We have two other cats, but she is the one I most connected with. She was only 12 and there were no signs of sickness. I do not consider myself to be the emotional type, but her death has rocked me to my core. I can’t recall ever being so depressed. The hurt is unimaginable and impossible to describe. I will crawl out of this dark period eventually but putting my thoughts to paper is part of that process. I now empathize with all that have lost a pet and I thank you for allowing me to express myself.

  23. We had to put our beloved cat Misha to sleep today, 24. 1. 2019. She had been a healthy cat all her life (16 years), but a couple of days ago, she suddenly stopped eating and just slept most of the time. We took her to the vet where they discovered a tumor on her ear and the back of her eyes were completely white, which is a sign of anemia. We came back in the evening to some even more horrible news — she had liver cancer — I knew straight away that we will have to say goodbye — and the next day, we did. Im 21 years old, meaning she had been a part of most of my life. We did so much together and she was my bestfriend. She was indeed a very special being, always there when I needed a shoulder to cry on, or to show her my love and happines, which made me love her even more. Currently, I feel entirely lost and I don”t know how to cope with such a loss. I keep telling myself that we ended her suffering + we gave her a life full of love, but I know I will keep expecting to see her for a very long time to come. She will be in my heart utill my dying breath.

    1. Im so sorry to hear about misha, i too also had my boy olly (9 yrs) put to sleep on the 24/1/19 too. Olly was diagnosed with mouth cancer in october 2018, it wasnt cureable, just pain management and lots of love. He stopped eating on the 21st and was sleeping alot, we just knew it was time. I too feel so so lost without him, guilty because of his cancer and right now the grief just feels unbareable i miss him so much

      1. I had to put my little Malley to sleep today. 3-29-2019. She, too, had mouth cancer and we had exhausted all options. She was showing signs of suffering. This is my 1st night without her at the foot of my bed. She was 14. I don’t know how i will get thru this. I’m devastated.

        1. Patrick Elliott

          I feel for you Angel. I lost my beautiful cat, Monkey 24 days ago. She had no health issues to our knowledge, yet we found her lifeless body on our couch. My wife has handled our loss better than me. I put up a brave front when around other people, but I sink into a major depression when alone. We have two other wonderful felines, but this was the cat I had a special connection with. As hard as it is for you and I right now, I believe the time and warm memories we shared with our furry companions will get us through this. It sounds trite, but you and I were the lucky ones for having Malley and Monkey play such special roles in our lives.

  24. my baby misty was 15. she died yesterday. she had been sick for a few weeks now. i was hoping that she was going to get better. she was eating very little. she stopped eating all together on thursday. she could barely stand up. and yesterday she was worse. i did not want her end to be that way, she was the spunkiest funniest cat i ever met. she was the best. she loved my husband. she gave me more joy than i could ever imagine. god is very lucky to have her up in heaven. the grief has been awful. i can’t stop crying. i see her everywhere. i expect her to jump on the bed and then i realize that she won’t ever do that again and the grief comes back. most people don’t get the joy that a pet brings to a person. how that void is left so big that you feel like you are going to be swallowed by it. rest in peace my beautiful girl….i will never ever forget you. you are my sweet angel…..

    1. This just happened to us with our sweet 12 year old cat Meadow. We had to put her to sleep on xmas eve and everything you mentioned is true for us too. We feel as if we have been punched in the gut or heart. Her presence is everywhere and our home is so quiet now. Be at peace sweet girl. Wishing you well.

      1. Christina & Chilton

        Our baby girl is a tuxedo cat. She’s 13 and we will have to put her to sleep in the next day or two. Just looking at her and that sweet face and knowing there is nothing we can do is killing us. Every once in awhile over the last couple of days there have been almost normal times and it’s breaking our hearts to know it will be the last time we see her roll around in the sun or perk up to the sight of a squirrel, but the very worst is knowing she will never again run to greet us at the door when we get home from work. She was always a healthy cat until late October when agressve intestinal cancer came on and now it’s spreading and she’s breathing a little heavy. The vet says she has a day or two at most. I keep looking and hoping for someone to say something magical hat will make this bearable, but I know there are no such words.

    2. My boy of 18 years died the day after your precious girl. I know I was grieving for a month since he became weaker and I knew the end was near. He shared so much happiness and sadness with me. The unconditional love of a cat is amazing. No other cat can replace my boy, but I know I will open my heart again someday to another because there are so many that need people like 7s to love them.
      My prayers go out to you for comfort and healing. Rest I peace your girl and my boy.

    3. I am hear broken I had to say goodbye to my Honey cat last night 11.1.19 at 7:15 pm she was beautiful inside and out She had got very ill in the end we found out she had a tumor and pancreatitis that was 10 times bigger than the normal size. She was 11years old. She was in so much pain I couldn’t keep her going to sad to see her in pain and distress. My son hasent grieved for her yet. I’ve told him she’s a star in the sky and in the day she’s sleeping at night she’s awake looking down at us. God bless you all I feel your pain.

  25. I’m devastated. We had to put our cat Speedy down due to illness on December 19,2018. I’ve never had to experience a loss before. I want him back so bad. It hurts immensely. I’m like many of you who walk into the house or the next room and expect to see his soft sweet silly face. He was a real pretty Tuxedo cat. He made me laugh a lot. He was so spoiled and such a big baby. Everyone around our neighborhood loved him and loved petting him. I really hope this gets easier. I’m getting headaches from crying so hard. I feel for everyone who has lost their pet cat. ????

    1. I lost my best friend today. A tuxedo cat named Herbie. He was diagnosed with Diabetes about 7 weeks ago. Just when we thought things were much better, he suddenly took a turn for the worse. Had to board him while I did a quick trip to visit my family for Christmas. He became very ill at the boarding place yesterday and was taken to the hospital where he became non responsive. Talk about a helpless feeling. We had no choice but to have him euthanized today. The loss is devastating to say the least. Haven’t even been able to return home yet. Terrified to walk into the empty house. With a few days over these past 7 weeks outstanding, he’s been there to greet me everyday for the past 8 1/2 yrs with the exception of us moving a few times. He waa a very social cat that liked everyone. It was well known how much Herbie and I were very close. When we met, he rescued me as much as I rescued him. My mother said God sent him to me. Obviously just starting the grieving process. Thank you for listening. Reading the other posts have been helpful. Letting us know we’re not alone with our feelings.

      1. I loved my 3 month old kitten……. He had a infection and it ran down his mouth we didn’t know she stinked because of this problem and was in pain and everytime he stood up he fell… He was so healthy before this happened to him…. Please pray for him I am not glad he died but I am happy he is out of pain…
        He died over night.

    2. I am a grown man but seems like I will never get over my sacred little Leroy a perfect supermodel tuxedo style, 18 years old, outdoor lover. One in a billion. I loved him so much that he returned it and adored me, too. I don’t think all cats are perfect but this one was. He got typical end of life old age illness of organ failures of thyroid and kidneys. I TOTALLY CURED him of diabetes 5 years ago by diet alone, thanks to Dr Pierson’s catinfo.org
      Every year he became more affectionate and loving; jumped on me to wake up each day & told me how to love life, but he’s the main thing I loved about life. I raised him from newborn when a stray gave birth under my porch, so He was born right on my land & it was truly His kingdom (the feral mother vanished & I donated his 2 sisters to a shelter). When he was a kitten, I said I’ll always make him feel my love, and he will always trust me and feel safe with me. He did. For 18 years. Then he made clear he was ready to go and although I was devastated I had to let him expire in my loving arms. I got him at 47; now I’m 65, retired, and won’t get another. He was my one in a lifetime. He lived a full life while I was still able to be alive myself. But I’ll never get over him. The house seems so empty. Every sound or when the wind rattles the storm door, or makes a creaking sound, I momentarily think it’s him. I guess the best advice, above, is to remember all the joy and not just the loss. I have hundreds of great photos but they make me cry. It is the hardest de-programming I ever had to do. I had to euthanize 10 days before christmas 2018 and still I am overcome with grief. I understand all those who shared their feelings here.

    3. I have experienced plenty of losses in life but still this one is much harder even than some human losses. I had to euthanize 4 days before you. He died in my arms. It had to be that way because I always raised this cat to trust me and feel safe in my arms. For one last time. I’m answering you because I think there’s a special bond with the tuxedo cats. Some opinions say they are the smartest ones. They can talk to you just as clearly as you can talk to a person sitting across a table. My tuxedo cat I wrote about at length on this page was my absolutely inseparable best friend. I struggled for years to make a living and after a personal relationship breakup I had to leave my HOLY CREATURE alone very long, every day. I was lucky for a long time. He liked outdoor freedom and had an open garage with an upstairs bed. He was outside on enough land to be ok. He was always there when I came home from work late at night. But I was blessed with beating the odds and surviving until retirement. Once I retired, my cat was totally overjoyed for the attention and we were together every minute. Every step I took, he walked next to me. I was always stepping on him and he was always screeching when I stepped on him. Haha. He just loved me & wanted to be near; especially when old age deafened him, he liked to stay really close. We both adored each other. I’m glad I had over 6 years of retirement with my precious little darling. When I did yard work he kept close tabs on me. When I hung the laundry he watched closely. Any little thing; I’d open the refrigerator & he’d run to see whats goin on in there. I’d be eating a sandwich & he’d jump up on the back of a chair and tap me on the shoulder to say let me try that. I fell asleep, he was in my loving arms. It is very hard to have your beloved animal Missing from the house and yard that was his Kingdom. At night when sleeping and dreaming, I have lots of bad dreams about missing him. My mind is straining to adjust. It is a very difficult de-programming. I live alone; 2 months and I still cry often when home. I really understand exactly what you are going through, and all the other loving cat owners who suffered here. It’s good to have this forum to communicate & I thank the website. We are all going through the same thing.

  26. My baby Mowi left this Earth yesterday at 2pm. I knew in advance that he wouldn’t make it for very long but even with trying to prepare myself emotionally for months, it hasn’t eased the pain. Everywhere I go in this house I expect him to be there. Following me in the bathroom for his morning cuddle or sitting in the chair back behind me as I sculpt. God I hope this pain eases soon.

    1. Jonathan Kraeszig

      I so feel for you. We had to have our beloved Mitzi put to sleep Thursday afternoon. It was completely unexpected. We thought we’d have at least a few more years with her. We’ve had many cats but she was extra special. She was such a part of our daily lives and such a lover. We see her everywhere and the pain is immense. Please know that there are many of us who understand. I don’t know you, but you will be in my thoughts and prayers.

      1. I just had to say goodbye to my most awesome cat at the emergency vet late Friday/early Saturday. He was diagnosed with hyperthyroidism less than two weeks ago, and we were working on getting it under control before a trip I had planned for early February. I came home on Friday and he had eaten nothing; he was shaking a bit so I tried to get him to eat something. He cuddled with me for a bit, then over the next few hours wasn’t holding his head up, couldn’t relax, and only wanted cool floors. He little heart was going. It was 5 minutes at the ER and they said I needed to let him go. I am just so heartbroken.

      2. Yes. We know all about this. Our beloved cat, the only one we had, had to be euthanized yesterday. We had hoped to have seven more years with her, since she was only 7 1/2. It was too soon and we are shattered.

    2. I know how you feel – I lost my cat Phoebe and the pain is unbearable- the advice I have been given is to cry and let the grief come out- my thoughts are with you – our little furry babies are at peace now xxxx

    3. Hi Lisa, I know your pain. I have had to take my beloved cat Alice to be put down tonight and the heartbreak is incredibly hard. I will always treasure my memories of her…at present I cannot stop crying. I wish you well and I understand in time, as with for all bereaved cat lovers, the pain will subside and the glorious appreciation of the wonderful years of that very special relationship will provide enough comfort.

    4. I know how you feel my baby Ciara left me for Heaven on Monday night 27th December and I can’t stop crying
      She was almost 16 and after that many years it hurts so much
      She had been ill for some time but I prayed so much I somehow thought she would recover but I was wrong and can’t accept it
      We love them soo much the reason why it hurts so much

  27. It was my birthday yesterday. but the first thing I woke up seeing was by baby cat died in front of me on my bed.she slept with me everytime on my bed. but now she only slept she didn’t wake up with me. I took her in my arms and felt her last breathe, she died in my arms.i miss her so much that I can’t forget her, or just stop crying. I never spent even one second without her in my home, wherever I turn I see her playing we were so close .we shared everything. I can’t eat food, I can’t sleep I feel her near me every time. I turned 18 yesterday all my relatives and friend be here to celebrate. but I can’t just stop crying, I miss her so much. she died in my arms…..

    1. San isha
      My cat died shortly after yours – he died December 10th. I had to put him to sleep. Though I am sure it was hard for you, your cat died in the arms of the person she loved the most:
      YOU! She died loved ……secure……comforted……relaxed. You did that for her. Her last breath was taken knowing that she is loved. You gave her the best ending to her life that any cat could have received. I know you hurt – I do, too. I have had several big cries in that last 4 days and sleeping has been very restless. I am so sorry you are hurting. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

    2. I’m so sorry for your loss! My cat Little Cloud was one years old and she JUST died early this morning at 1:40am. She had been sick and she couldn’t breathe. My dad had the unfortunate business of holding her while she died. I couldn’t do it. She took her last breath. We loved her but there was nothing more we could do. She was set to be put down within the next day or two. I’m miserably crying as I write this. I prayed to the Lord that she wouldn’t suffer. At least she doesn’t have to hurt anymore. We’ll love her always!

  28. I lost My Baby Kitty, Piewacket, a girl cat of 19 1/2 year’s. She was fine the night before running around like she usually did, jumped up on the bathroom sink for water, slept a lot. The next morning, my husband came home from work and Piewacket was waiting between the dining room and the living room like she always did. She went to lay down for about an hour, got up, walked to the same spot and fell over. My husband woke me up to tell me what happened. I jumped out of bed, rushed down the hallway to find My Baby Kitty just standing there looking at me as if nothing had happened. I decided to lay on the couch with her for a bit and after about 15 minutes, she went to lay in her bed in the corner. My husband went to bed after working all night and something in my stomach told me to lay on the couch and take a nap. I dozed off for approximately 10 – 15 minutes when I heard a funny sound. It was coming from the corner where My Baby Kitty Piewacket was sleeping. Upon looking at her, I could tell she was having a hard time breathing. I picked her up, held her in my arms on the couch. I started crying immediately because I was not ready nor prepared to loose her. She snuggled up so close, I could feel her slipping away from me. I tried a little water on my finger thinking maybe she ate something and it was caught in her throat, but I wasn’t getting any where. She picked her little black head up, licked the left side of my face, and went into her final sleep. I just sat there crying my eyes out for about a 1/2 hour not admitting to myself she was gone. I took her into the bedroom, woke my husband up and asked him to please tell me she wasn’t gone, but he couldn’t tell me that. All he could say was “Honey she’s gone. She’s lived for a long time and had a wonderful life and was very much loved by all. That was on a Sunday. We took her to the vet to be cremated and put in a black Cat That with an etching of a face that looked exactly like her. That was the longest Sunday of my life. We we’re told she died of Cancer, Mammory Cancer. They found a small lump that was not there 2 days prior. According to our Vet, the way it sounded, it hit her quick without any signs of her being sick or in pain. This happened on June 3rd at 2:45pm. That day was the worst day of my life. I didn’t know whether I was coming or going, I couldn’t quit crying. This lasted for over a month as my husband had me looking at 2 kittens, either 2 sisters or a brother and a sister. I didn’t know if I could go through that again. After so many kittens, I found a brother, sister pair that I kept coming back to. We finally set a time and place to meet these 2 tiny little animals. The sweet little girl was the runt of the litter and her brother was very protective of his sister. Upon meeting at the scheduled location, I noticed a black kitten being brought in. I looked at my husband and said “That’s Kevin, I know it”. Sure enough it was. We had to wait for a little bit for Karen the runt to be brought in. Immediately, after running for a little bit on the floor, we we’re put in a room. I picked up kevin, the little black kitten who curled himself in a ball and went to sleep. Karen, the little runt, burrowed herself in my husband’s arm like a football and went to sleep. Well, it’s been a little over 5 months and Karen who we renamed Keva and Kevin, we just spelled his name different, Keevan. We gave them 2 Irish names to fit their personalities. I’m still mourning the loss of My Baby Kitty Piewacket 5 months later, but I wouldn’t trade these two in for nothing. They have helped me get through everyday. Even when I sometimes call Keevan, Piewacket. I feel bad and the tears start to flow. My husband just says “You can call him any name, he’s not gonna care. Just don’t call him late for dinner”! Our 2 new family members have brought a lot of joy, laughter and have kept me busy! They both do somethings that Piewacket did and if I didn’t know better, she was here teaching them. My husband was never a cat person. Piewacket finally took to him about 4 or 5 years ago. Now there’s a little runt kitten who is not only working her way to be a beautiful cat, but has my husband wrapped around her tiny paw. Keevan has grown quite a bit since we got them mid July.

    In the end, as much as I miss My Baby Kitty Piewacket, I wouldn’t trade these 2 in for nothing. They don’t replace her. The only wish I could think of is if I had her back for an hour to snuggle with her, tell her what she’s meant to me and how much joy she’s brought me in almost 20 years and last, to meet her brother and sister.

    I know my grieving period isn’t over. The 3ed of every month is hard to get through. From this moment on, it 1 day at a time, and to spoil, provide a good loving home and safe environment to the 2 new members of our family.

    Piewacket, you’ll sadly be missed, but never forgotten!

    1. You touched my heart deeply. I feel your pain. You expressed my feelings to the T.
      I just lost my baby 4 days ago and this has been one of the worst 4 days of my life. I’m reading your post to try to find relief from this horrible pain. I’m in denial, shock, disbelief and cannot imagine my self without him. Everyday I had him I was so thankful and took the time to appreciate this magnificent best friend of mine. I was blessed. I would look at him and tell him how much I love him and what joy and companionship he has brought into my life. He was so special, nothing will ever replace him or take his place in my heart. I’m so lost right now and reading your heartfelt post has helped me through another day. God Bless You
      Thank you
      Kathy

      1. Jacqueline Rushforth

        Dear Kathy and All bereaved cat parents, As I am afraid, we all know that saying goodbye to these wonderful, unique creatures, is so hard and our hearts and sometimes our minds break.Please, Kathy try to stay strong and well.This is not just a throw away comment.Ireally do from the bottom of my heart know these feelings, all too well. January 2018 we lost our darling Bella, she was 13years old. October 2018, our dearest Molly, she was just 15years old.Then 5weeks ago our boy cat, who is 12years old,his name is Winkle, was diagnosed diabetic. His brother, George, died in September 2016.One by One our family is going. We are treating Winkle for his diabetes and as long as he is happy so are we.All our cats were rescued cats and we console ourselves, if that be possible, that they are and always have had everything we could possibley give them.All our love and time.I don,t want this to be a pitiful sad tale, just in my own way, to say to you and anyone else reading, YES the loss and sadness is unbearable, but we are the lucky ones, to have had the love, loyalty and companionship of our wonderful unique cat friends. I am sending this in the hope it lets you and everyone else know, in memory and love we must try to get by, bit by bit.We have all been blessed by knowing, loving and caring for them. You are all in my thoughts.

  29. We had to put our beautiful 18 year old cat to sleep three weeks ago and my heart is broken she had a tumour on her face that grew rapidly an stopped eating I fed her through a syringe. She went to the vets and never came out the vet told me it was time to do the right thing. She looked up at me with so much trust I took her outside to look at the sunshine one last time and she was put to sleep in my arms I know it was the right thing to do but it literally broke my heart. We found her at 4 days old and hand reared her she had a good life but I miss her so very much x

    1. I just read your post and am going thru the same grief as I had to put my best friend Willie to Everlasting death on earth but I believe there is a heaven and he is young again and no longer in pain. My precious Willie had heart failure and I knew it was time for him to cross the rainbow bridge. I know that this was his Destiny instead of putting him thru agonizing efforts that would only prolong his suffering. We have put candles in the window for him to follow the Light back to us. I feel your grief and hope you know that someone else feels your pain. I am so very sorry for your loss and maybe our precious little ones are now together. I know you took your little one to see the light and I wish I could of , but he was blind. But i do have some sort relief that he went to sleep so close to me and very peaceful. I have so many happy memories of my little man and I am sure you have yourself. Well I am crying again, I just wanted to let you to know that hopefully this agonizing pain will somehow turn to acceptance of our loss of our best friends. I will say a prayer for your little one and my very best friend Willie Approx. Age 17. I love him so very much and know he is no longer in any pain.

    2. I also deeply feel your pain. We just needed to put our lovely Nino of 18 years to sleep. We were with him until the last minute. With all our pain, we took the best decision to alliviate his pain. I believe animals are angels in our lives and cannot understand why tgey gave to suffer. We are devastated and will love our Nino forever. Life is going to be difficult for us. We are gratef for him and all what he gave us. We think it was the highest show of love to help him go in this way and stop his suffering. We are doing acts of LOVE. We need to be strong, they want that for us. You are not alene, we are all together on this tremendous pain. Warm regards to you and everyone here going through the same. Love everyone!

  30. Lost my Jack Jack to FIP on October 14 and then a week later on October 22 my 18 1/2 year old cat Norman to Lymphoma. I’m beyond devastated. I cry for one and then cry for the other. I can’t stop crying. I can’t believe they are both gone. My heart has been ripped out. How could I lose both in the same week? Glad to read these comments and know I’m not alone. I’m not sure if things will ever be right again. My cats are my kids.

    1. Very sorry for your loss Kari I know how you feel ! I just put down my kitty of an amazing 20 year old and sharing this with you helps me a lot hope we get over this greaving soon !Take care!

  31. I lost my beloved Simon, a Maine Coon mix kitty on October 4th. He was very ill with diabetes, thyroid disease and then finally chronic kidney failure. I made the very painful decision to have him put to sleep at the vet when he refused to drink and eat. He was trying to find places to hide and be away from us, which was the exact opposite of his loving nature. I have been through this before, having lost his sister just over a year ago to a blood clot at the Vet ER. I miss them both immensely and feel the guilt that somehow I could have done something more to help them. Was there something I missed? They were both under routine vet care and all the testing that goes along with that. I would like to adopt a bonded pair at some point but struggling with knowing when the time is right. The house is so empty and my heart is broken. They were not jus cats, they were family members. They say time heals. It’s been over a month and each day I break down with tears as a result of something that triggers a memory. I know I was very blessed to have both of them in my life for as long as I had them. I must remind myself of that. I am looking forward to the day when I will find new kitties to love. Just not sure when or how that will happen. I can so relate to all the stories I have read here, and offer my deepest sympathies to you all. I feel like I am experiencing the same grief and loss. So when is the right time to adopt new kitties? How will I know?

    1. Gabriella Medina

      On Monday of this week, we lost the battle with squamous cell carcinoma. Our Lulu (9 yrs old) was my very first kitten to cat experience. I found her stuck up a tree (true story). She followed me home and through much reading in order to educate myself regarding cat caring, we were able to provide love, happiness, good health, entertainment and she gave us a wonderful cat world I had never experienced. I was 60 yrs old. We enjoyed every minute of having her in our lives. But, where to we go from here?

  32. My wife and I lost our cat “SPOT” of 11 years yesterday Sunday 29-Oct-2018 at the animal hospital. He was a street cat we got from a litter at a friends house when he was a few months old. we adopted/rescued him the other cat’s did not let him eat (we got him shortly after we got married).
    I was not to big of a fan when we first got him cause I was not to big on cat’s at the time, time progressed I guess I grew attached throughout the years. it was so depressing to have the Vet come in and inform my wife and I that ” SPOT” did not make it. We asked if we could see him, he was just laying there wrapped in the bath towel we took him in. I never would of thought I was so attached to him till then.
    we are having him cremated so we can keep him close to us. It’s just so sad coming home from work or from running errands and Spot’s not sitting at the window looking out as we pull up the driveway or hearing his collar bells chiming early in the morning when we are getting ready for work.
    My wife and I are trying to deal with it the best we can but its hard when you have that feeling of emptiness as if something is missing. We feel Spot was the balance that would keep us from going insane from all the craziness life threw at us. We know time heals wounds but its still hard to deal with.
    Spot had a Wonderful life, he loved playing with his toys we could hear his collar bells from the other rooms while he played, he loved chasing the laser pointer, munching on his mouse toys especially when we coated them with nip. We have tons of great memories, Photo’s, even video on our phones. However that emptiness is still there. how does a person fill that void?

      1. Thank you for the information Michaela,
        We decided to have him cremated and I just got the ash’s today. so happy to have him home. its not the same as living however its nice to holler at him from time to time. also we purchased some keychain urns so he will be with us when we are out and about :)

    1. I have just lost my darling cat Smokey aged 13.
      Since my husband died 6 years ago she has been part of him I adored her
      It’s so lonely in the flat but she gave me so much happiness in her short life! I don’t know at present how I’m going to cope ! So I really understand everyone’s grief! SueX

  33. So sorry, it does get better with time. I lost my twenty year old ginger Tom in June and it’s taken me a while to get over it but now I just remember the good times we had with him. I still talk to him every day and look at his photo. He had a lovely life and was so loved. I just thank God he was mine!

  34. Many of the above comments are indeed heart wrenching. Our very precious 18 year old cat was put to sleep a few days ago following diagnosis of a terminal illness. We knew she was poorly but hadn’t expected it was the end. We are totally devastated, very emotional and not really knowing how to cope with it. She was our very best friend for such a long time but knew it was in her best interest to take the sad decision to allow her to leave us. How can we deal with our loss?

    1. Hi Eddie,
      So sorry to hear about your loss! These articles might provide some insight and help as well.
      https://www.catster.com/lifestyle/loss-of-a-pet-cat-death-grieving-lessons
      https://www.catster.com/lifestyle/loss-of-a-cat-pet-death-grief-ever-go-away
      https://www.catster.com/lifestyle/cat-behavior-tips-grieving-grief

  35. I lost my best friend last night. It was so unexpected and my Oliver was only 5. He was a stray that claimed me as his owner when he sat on my lap and didnt get off for the whole day. I loved him so much and he was the coolest cat, he would go up to anyone and greet them. He was seemingly fine until last night he became paralyzed and we found out he had an enlarged heart. I miss him so much.

    1. Ashley, I’m so sorry about Oliver. I just had to put my 15 year old kitty, Cali, down today. I am devastated. Coming home to an empty house without hearing her sweet meow at the door was the worst. She was a special creature…I’ve had a few cats over my life, but none that felt as much like a best friend. My husband and I spent the afternoon reminiscing about all of the cute things she used to do and the adventures she had with us. She traveled all over the country and into Canada with us and loved every minute of it. Losing her leaves a huge void in our lives.

    2. I feel your pain my cat died Friday night she had a heart attack n had blood clots feel like I’m dying inside xxx

      1. So sorry, it does get better with time. I lost my twenty year old ginger Tom in June and it’s taken me a while to get over it but now I just remember the good times we had with him. I still talk to him every day and look at his photo. He had a lovely life and was so loved. I just thank God he was mine!

    3. I lost a dear friend 10/31. My wife and I took care of this beautiful feral kitten. Although we could not take her in, we constructed an insulated shelter that she LOVED especially in bad weather. You know; in some ways she got better treatment than our house cats. She always greeted my wife and I when we returned home and loved to hang out in my car. I miss that…. Unfortunately she met her demise when wandering in the middle of the street and was struck by an SUV. My family is heartbroken because Panda was a member of the family. RIP Panda you lived a short but beautiful life.

        1. I understand your sorrow completely. I have had numerous cats through my life, but none other like my Marty. He found us 10 years ago and he was so loving that we took him in. Actually I took him in against my wife’s wishes but she fell for him as well. He slept with me, layed on my lap and played with me while I watched TV. He even played fetch with little balls of cloth. I’d throw it and he’d get it and bring it back to me. He loved to play and he would bug another cat of ours until the other cat got mad. The other cat would then take off after Marty and Marty would purr loudly because he was having such fun. He purred while he was running! We had to put him to sleep on Sunday Nov 11, 2018. He was fine and without warning, he started scooting his butt across the rug. He was making strange cat sounds through his mouth and he couldn’t move his rear legs. We called our vet and took him to the vet ER. She said it was a blood clot that formed in the main vein that supplied blood to his rear legs. She said he was in immense pain and the best thing to do was put him down. He died in my arms and I have never felt so empty and sad. I am going to have him cremated next week. I cry all the time too. I hope this pain subsides soon.

  36. I have had to let my beautiful rag doll Tia Maria go yesterday, I’m beyond devastated she went off her good for a day and her breathing was laboured Friday night I rushed her to the vet to be told she had cancer and not long to live, I could not process and still can’t, she helped me immensely to cope with anixtey depression she would know when I needed that extra support, this has pulled me apart I just need her back she was only 10, I know I will get through once I can process this but just feel so overwhelmed at present.

    1. I had to let my darling Lexi go on October 11th. I haven’t stopped crying since. I have complete meltdowns.

      I go around the house when I’m alone and cry out for her.

      “Lexi, Come back to me! I need you! Please don’t leave me now! You’re my everything!”
      I’m so devastated and I still have to go to school and deal with all the work they give me. The teachers don’t understand what I’m going through.

      I find myself looking at my bed where she used to lay all the time. I hear her walking down the hallway and even last night I felt her next to me… but right when I turned around she wasn’t there.

      I constantly wish I could just wake up from this nightmare.
      I just want to die and join my sweet baby girl.

      Life is so difficult and I know exactly how you feel. I just don’t think I’ll ever get through my situation. I just want the pain to end.

      1. I’m sobbing as I read this as my baby went to sleep on October 11th also and I’m distraught..I have no idea how to get through this ..it’s unbearable without my love ..I’m thinking of you xxx

        1. So sorry to hear about your loss! These articles might provide some insight and help as well.
          https://www.catster.com/lifestyle/loss-of-a-pet-cat-death-grieving-lessons
          https://www.catster.com/lifestyle/loss-of-a-cat-pet-death-grief-ever-go-away
          https://www.catster.com/lifestyle/cat-behavior-tips-grieving-grief

  37. So sorry for everyone’s loss.
    I had to put my precious 11 1/2 year old Elliot to sleep yesterday.
    He stopped eating 4 days ago, and was diagnosed with end-stage
    lymphoma at the vet’s. So unexpected, how does that happen so fast?
    I was so unprepared for this—I fully expected he’d get better & I’d bring
    him home. I’m devastated & completely emotionally derailed, can’t stop crying. The house feels vacant without him, he had an amazing presence.
    Life feels totally empty right now.

    1. I lost my cat Buddy of 20 years 2 days before his 20th b.day a couple months ago. I feel your pain. Buddy also had lymphoma and bladder cancer, diabetes and we were managing it all. He died violently in front of me as I rushed him in my truck to the vet. I am no longer crying all day every day although im still crying every day. I lived alone for 18 of his 20 years with just him and im lonely and depressed. I am working on trying to gain the skills to communicate with him and preferable see him. GOD has not allowed this yet and I’m still praying. I have asked for signs and signals and have had a handful of hard to explain occurrences yet I’m still skeptical and will keep trying. u loved your Elliot and he knew it just as my cat did. I hope that love connection is enough to continue our relationship in some manner…guess time will tell…hope this has helped you at least in a small way….

      1. I have also prayed so much to God.
        I just want a sign that my darling Lexi is watching over me.
        I WANT THIS NIGHTMARE TO END.

        I have emotional outbursts everyday. I call out for her in my house thinking one day I’ll see her again.

        Life is so cruel! I just want to end it and join my baby. She was the only thing that mattered in life. None of my family members understand the intensity of my pain…

        I just want my Lexi back ;c

        1. Hi there,
          So sorry for your loss. If you’re struggling emotionally, you may want to seek professional help.
          https://www.catster.com/lifestyle/cat-behavior-tips-grieving-grief

    2. I had to put down my beloved gina.he and i shared 15 years of loyal love.my greatest sadness is i never really knew how ill he was.i kept thinking he recover like before.mh heart is shattered and i feel guilty for his agony.he was a courageous cat who endure the pain for me.time will heal my empty arms and i will never forget him.

    3. I had to have my precious cat, Tigger put to sleep on September 27th and I’m devastated! He was with me for 14 years and 4 months. I feel so lost and cry every day. It doesn’t help that I live alone.

    4. I understand totally. We had to have Daisy put to sleep yesterday. I was not even in the country (I am still not) so it was even worse in some ways. I dread going home as I will expect to see her. The pain is so intense, it’s hard to believe I will ever come to terms with this loss. Daisy was there all the time. My husband travels for his job, the kids have essentially left home but Daisy was always there and always up for a chat and a purr. I understand what you mean about a presence. I knew we were going to lose Daisy but it still hasn’t helped. I didn’t expect her to go downhill quite so quickly. I am away for medical treatment but really thought I would get the chance to see her, feel her and say goodbye properly. No-one here to hug either :( But reading this has helped. I hope you are feeling just a little bit better.

  38. I lost my beloved Micah on Monday. I had him for 15 years. He was my baby and my best friend. I’ve been thru this before but it feels so incredibly gut-wrenching. I am at work but can’t concentrate and have to go outside and cry. It feels like I will never heal from this. I feel so alone and empty. Don’t want to go home, he’s not there. I am so sorry for everyone else who is going through this pain.

    1. Hi Marie,
      We lost our boy Rufus on the same day as you lost Micah. He was only with us for 4 years. We got him as a rescue. He was only 5. It was so sudden and I am really struggling, like you. He was our baby and he was so beautiful and perfect. As I am self employed he was with me every day. Sitting on my lap while I worked or curled up on the corner of my desk. It’s so hard without him here. I just feel lost. And the only people who really seem to understand are the people who are also going through it or have been through it. I’m so sorry you are experiencing this as well, and on the same day. September 17th will always be a black day for me.

      1. Claire,
        Thank you for you kind words. I am very sorry about Rufus. I still feel lost and sad and I still look for him everywhere. I couldn’t even come back to this site until today. But nothing can ever take away the special bond we have with them. Always in our hearts and someday we will be with them again.

  39. I lost Portia 3 yrs ago to cancer that could not be cured. She was 17, my comfort, my love. She moved everywhere with me, always safe. Suddenly I have renewed grief. I have 2 other wonderful cats. I cannot, however, get over Portia’s death. I’m better and 0ut of nowhere I have renewed grief and crying. I wish I could fix this. After her death I did hear her voice right before I awoke in the morning telling me she was here. I haven’t heard it since.

    1. I lost my cat. She was such a good kitty but then the vets took her because she was sick. I spent some time alone. Cats are truly AMAZING and in our hearts they will stay.

  40. The vets are bussinesspeople to rob us every last penny.

    I made a huge mistake to put my cat on IV’s last 7 hours and the vet didnt disclose important information that he has gone kidney failure due to not peeing (due to blockage from stone grit/sand)

    I put my baby through a lot to have him die painfully with seizures in my arms.

    If your cat ever stops peeing you have 24 hours (if lucky) to save his life.

    I am so sorry for your loss.
    I am devasted as my precious Mana boy is gone. Mama loves and misses him and will hopefully re unite one day again.

    Till then, rest in peace my sweetest baby.
    Mama ki jaan.

  41. On 31/8/18 we lost one of our cats Simba he was a gorgeous 12 almost 13 year old ginger tabby. I’ve had him since he was a kitten from the RSPCA. We don’t know what happened and it was rather sudden, he was fine in the morning but wasn’t in the afternoon, x-rays showed he had fluid in his chest and lungs with a galloping heart and he was on oxygen and quality of life was what made the decision.
    He truly was a unique cat he’d spend hours in the night playing with sticky tape rolls and he even played fetch. He loved ear and rump scratches. He would always sit next to anyone with food and not so subtly inch closer. If you were nearby and he wanted pats he wouldn’t hesitate a tap on the shoulder to get your attention.
    I loved him so much and truly miss him these last few days.

  42. My daughter cat Keke died in my arms August 13, 2018 @ 2:20am. I loved her so very much. She had been healthy and happy until she developed a saddle thrombus on August 8. This precious girl was my soulmate and a love of a lifetime. She had turned 15 on May 4. She was a lovely talkative calico who was such a cuddler. She slept in my bed and I was never lonely. We were each other’s comfort animal. The night she developed the thrombus I took her to a speciality vet hospital and tried everything to save her to no avail. I feel guilty because I put her through all the medical care. If only I had known the outcome I would have done things differently . She was a constant in my life and such a perfect friend and companion. My life is empty and hollow now. I have to see her pictures and videos, hear her meow several times a day. I just have to have her in my life. I miss her terribly. My heart is shredded. She was amazing. I realized during our time together that our relationship was magical. I dreaded her death. I am grieving now but can’t cope with her loss.
    How can I live without Keke? It feels wrong and very lonely.

    1. I’m sorry. I feel the same way. I had to put my best friend down the 30th. It sucks. It feels slightly lighter everyday, but not much. I have to clean and store her water bowl and food bowls. It’s hard. I miss going to sleep every night with her resting her head on my hand as we drifted off to sleep. I’ve lost friends before, but have never been without another cat here. It’s hard. I, for now, am just going to accept that she’s being reborn into another body and I’ll find her in 8 weeks. Why do they have to be so amazing that we have such a hard time letting them go???

        1. I understand. My Fiona died on 12/2/2018 she was 13. It is a very painful loss. She had lost so much weight it happened so quickly a matter of a week. I hope we are together again. She was so loving sweet and beautiful delicate and small. I will always hold her in my heart until the end of time. I love you Fiona! I will never every forget you!

  43. Hi everyone. I lost my Holly girl cat on 8/8/18. She was nearly 14 years old. Even though I have 3 more cats the loss of Holly is remarkable. No one can replace her. I have so much guilt about things I could have done or not done to save her life. I am trying hard to keep my sanity for the others. I can tell they miss her too because they are looking in her sleeping area. I am keeping my spirits up by taking good care of my other cats. Good luck everyone.

    1. Lost my mom’s 15 year old girl Jewell on 8/23/18, just 3 days ago, and I am having a tough time. I loved that baby and just felt awful that I had to make the decision to let her go. Not fair for her to suffer illness just so that I can keep snuggling with her pretty plump self. I also have a 16 year old baby Sahara who is getting “up there”. She is under care for thyroid, but I know that the time could come sooner than I want it to. I am so heartbroken about Jewell and I wonder if I am grieving Sahara too before the time. It also does not help that so many friends have lost cats this year. All very old kittens but when they are with you for so long, you can have a hard time adjusting to life without them. I will say that having ashes makes it feel better and brings closure, for some reason.

    2. I too had to put my baby girl, Coco to sleep on 9/26/18. She was almost 14, she was diagnosed 1 1/2 weeks before with lymphoma,she got so sick, so fast, my husband and I wouldn’t let her suffer. What makes it so hard, is it happened so quickly. I have six other cats in the house, but she leaves a huge hole. The pain seems to get less and less each day, some days better than others. She was an awesome cat with a great personality.

  44. I lost one of my cats this morning to a traffic accident. My little boy cat has lost his sister, they were from the same litter. Only 3 years old and I am absolutely heart broken. Can’t stop crying. I didn’t cry like this when mead my partner split up. I miss her terribly and knowing. Wasn’t with her to ease her pain at the end is killing me. My little boy cat doesn’t know where she is, won’t eat and leave my side.
    What do I do.

    1. Hi Lynne,
      We are so sorry to hear about your loss. We suggest following the steps in this article and reaching out to a professional for help as well.

      Here are some other articles that might help, too:
      https://www.catster.com/lifestyle/loss-of-a-pet-cat-sudden-unexpected-death-grief-coping
      https://www.catster.com/lifestyle/a-certified-grief-coach-talks-about-death-and-celebration
      https://www.catster.com/lifestyle/loss-of-a-pet-cat-death-grieving-lessons

      https://www.catster.com/cat-behavior/how-to-help-a-grieving-cat
      https://www.catster.com/lifestyle/cat-behavior-tips-grieving-grief
      https://www.catster.com/lifestyle/five-ways-support-grieving-cat-behavior

    2. I am so sorry for your loss. I just lost my Jessie girl, my baby on the 8th. She was an indoor cat and got out. She was curious and innocently went out to stroll and explore the neighborhood. She was met by a dog that bit her. The attack scared her and killed her. I’m comforted in knowing that she didn’t lay there suffering, but I feel terrible that my poor baby died alone. I just hope she knows that her family loves her so much. We miss her dearly, I am going crazy without my baby.

  45. Hi, Johanna,

    A week in and I’m still missing her loads but getting better. Only been one day I haven’t cried over her, keep telling myself to get past it but it’s tough. Helped me a lot googling about other people’s experiences to try and get over the feelings of guilt that should of done more for her.
    Also Google ‘Matt slay I wasn’t ready ‘ and click on images’ someone sent me a cartoon about it, might not work for you but summed up exactly how I feel and gave me some release. Hope you feel better soon

  46. I lost my world three days ago in the shape of a cute fluffy fur ball called Tilley, best friend, confidante, the ‘person’ who was always there for me.
    Totally devastated and unable to stop crying, feelings of loss, sadness, grief, guilt, hurt, you name it I have it right now. 17 years old, and never anything wrong with her, then out of nowhere sudden heart failure and gone within two hours. No time to cuddle her, nurse her and try to make her feel better as rushing to the vets with her. So miss her and want her back, never felt pain like it before. House doesn’t feel like a home anymore without her demanding attention and following me round like a shadow.

    1. Wow, that is exactly how I feel. I feel lost without her. She was my best buddy. I just don’t want to go home after work. The house is so empty.

      1. I lost my cat to cancer in march 2018. I cry every day and I miss her so much. everything is not ok. I have depression too.

        1. Hi Jacqui,

          So sorry to hear this. Please seek professional help to talk out your feelings. These articles might help provide some resources and insights as well:

          https://www.catster.com/lifestyle/loss-of-a-cat-pet-death-grief-ever-go-away
          https://www.catster.com/lifestyle/cat-behavior-tips-grieving-grief
          https://www.catster.com/lifestyle/a-certified-grief-coach-talks-about-death-and-celebration

        2. I lost my 14 year old baby kitty Misu on august 7, 2018 also to cancer. I am devastated. I cry every day and torture myself for all the things I should have done. I miss her terribly and dread waking up every morning with out her, since she was my for legged alarm clock. I can’t stand the pain.

    2. I, too, watched my lap-sitting 12-year-old cat, Looey, struggle to free himself from the grasp of the vet two days ago. He had lymphoma and had lost 8 lbs. from his normal 15 lbs. Also had arthritis. So lovable. I am depressed and can barely breathe. He was my sixth cat. I do intend to adopt another, probably next week. The house is ghostly quiet without him. I love you, Looey!

    3. Alan, I feel exactly the same as you. I lost my cute furball, Fluffy yesterday 11 August, aged 17 and like your Tilley, never anything wrong with her and a she suffered a stoke overnight and rush to the vet and then gone. So sudden and I literally can’t stop crying and am totally devastated just like you. I thought I’d come downstairs this morning and it would have been a bad dream and she’d be waiting for her food. I didn’t expect to feel this bad. I tired doing some yoga and deep breathing through the nose yesterday which helped for a bit but then the tears returned later. I guess this will be part of the grieving process

    4. I lost our little Noel today 13 years old kidney cancer seemed to come from no where. Took her to the vet because she was acting strange for 2 days and she was in complete kidney failure. She also followed me everywhere and was always up on my lap, I’m very unsettled trying to sleep without her and am having a lot of anxiety. I miss her extremely badly I just can’t believe I’ll never see her again. I have 2 other cats but no one can ever replace Noel, I’ll miss her forever ????

      1. Kyrene, I am so sorry for your loss of Noel. I had adopted a beautiful, little tabby cat. Her name was Shelby she was 2 years old. I had her only for 4 months.I tried to give her a better life. I found out on her first vet visit tht she had that she had kidney disease. She did so well for the first 2 months that we had her. Then her kidney disease took over her and she died last Friday. I am so heartbroken, I feel empty and lost all I do is cry and I can”t stop crying. I will miss her always sitting at the door waiting for me, I will miss her little meow when she was hungry. She was the sweetest,loving, cat that I ever had. I don”t think I will ever get over her. I held her in my arms while she was dying it nearly killed me. I can”t sleep and am very depressed. I had her cremated. I hope you get to feeling better. Sincerely, Linda Schmidt

      2. I’m sorry to hear. It’s a huge loss and the void will always exist till you think of it less but the loss will remain always. I just lost my baby cat of nine years my best friend and months later the pain is the same.
        Keep strong.

    5. We have lost our beautiful boy Kevin this week he was 16 yrs and a sphinx so a house cat, so sudden had a stroke in the night then fitting rushed to vets, then gone, she kept him because we were having him cremated, I couldn’t stop crying could rest the house is empty even with his wonderful brother Alfie here, this morning we brought him home just for 24 hours, although he is cold and I know that he has already gone to heaven, I feel so much better I can wash him and say goodbye properly, he is on the sofa at the moment wrapped in his blanket,

  47. Sending Peace & Love to you all just found out how much this hurts. Went out for my morning run today only to find my little mate dead in the road. Marzipan or Skirmish as I called him was my studio buddy, friend & shadow most of the day. I work from home & he was the only one to talk to most of the time. He was a little menace but was my little partner & loved him so much. Still very raw its so strange not having him he with me or scampering around the place. Love you Skirm

  48. Marina Poliakoff

    My heart goes out to all of you. It is such a painful loss. I’ve lost quite a few but one was the absolute love of my life! I’ve loved all my cats, but this one was special. I truly believe he’s waiting for me on the other side.

  49. I just lost my 9-month-old kitten exactly 24 hours ago. I got her when she was dying on the side of the road with severe diarrhea. Her two siblings had been thrown together with her to the road in a plastic bag and had died. She somehow walked down my lane and my dad spotted her and alerted me.

    We weren’t sure if she would survive. But after 2 weeks of treatment, she got better. I have two other stray cats I have brought home under many objections – so my sister was completely against another kitten. I said I will re-home her but I was secretly hoping to keep her with me.

    Turns out she’s allergic to most of the food a cat would eat and when None of the Catfood brands worked, we settled for a Chicken and Pumpkin mix which she enjoyed a lot. I let her out of my room on days when my sister wasn’t around so she could play with the others and have a blast of a time. But for the most part, she stayed in my room.

    She had the biggest eyes, a tiny face and big ears – we named her Dobby. She was extemely playful, hilarious and every night she would sleep on me or next to my head on my pillow.

    Recently I got news that my sister is leaving in few weeks to accept a job in another country and I was thrilled. It meant Dobby could be with us!

    Dobby gained weight very slowly because while I was giving her Chicken and Pumpkin, she would sometimes sneak out and eat the food off my other cats’ plates and get diarrhea. When she finally reached above 2 kilos I got her sterilized – that was just 3 weeks ago. But being the naughty playful cat she is, within 5 days, she opened up her surgery wound -while wearing the collar. I took her back to the vet, they re-sutured it. and she had it opened in 2 days again. Because there was a mild infection in the outer skin, I had to go to the vet on a daily basis. We would completely cover the wound and put a bandage around her stomach and every day she Houdini’d out of it. In the middle of it, she developed diarrhea. Vets diagnosed her with Cat Flu. I spent the last 15 days taking her to the vet on a daily basis. and towards the last 5 days, I went there twice a day.. But she took a turn for the worst day before evening.. and had a seizure and died yesterday evening at the vet’s. Until her last few hours, she was very alert. wagging her tail.. looking at me.. even though the reports said she’s getting worse, she didn’t look like it. Even during the last moments before the seizure while breathing rapidly, she was looking at me almost like she was hoping I could save her.

    I am gutted that she’s gone. She didn’t get to go out and climb a tree. That was supposed to happen after her surgery when my sister is gone. She was a kitten. So tiny and fragile. I know she’s not been with me as long as my other cats. But she was supposed to live a long life. I have never had any of my recuses die so young. They all lived full and happy lives. I am so sad I couldn’t do the same for her.

    I blame myself for arranging for the surgery. If she didn’t have it, she would have been inside my room never getting exposed to that virus. I honestly wish it was me instead of her.

    Now my room feels empty. It’s silent. and it’s deafening. My room is full of memories and I can’t breath when I am there. So I sleep on the sofa. I know it’s only been a day. I know it gets easier with time. But right now everything seems pointless. For the last 3 weeks, she consumed my whole life. I woke up every hour to check on her. and doing all that, I couldn’t save her.

    I’m sorry Dobby. I hope I made your life at least a bit comfortable in the past 8 months. I hope you know how much I loved you. I hope you felt it. Everyone tells me the scars on my arms because of your playful sharp nails will not fade – I don’t want them to either. Oh my tiny heart, I miss you.

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