Not many cats look forward to car rides inside carriers. At least mine don’t. When I leave the carrier open in the living room, they’ll nap in it and treat it like a kitty cave, but as soon as the door closes and the kitty cave starts moving, the incessant, maniacal howling begins.
I sometimes wonder what they think is happening when they’re inside the carrier, traveling in a rumbly vehicle. They were just in the comfort of their home, and now they’re on the move. Here are five thoughts that might be swirling through their little kitty-heads, written from the cat’s point of view.
1. I’ve been abducted by aliens!
“I’ve just been abducted by aliens! They squeezed me into this tiny pod and then loaded me onto their silver spaceship. I must be headed to outer space! What will they do with me? Will they cross-breed me with alien cats? Will they have my brand of cat food? Will there be proper litter facilities? I need to get back to my home planet! Curses! I should have watched that Sandra Bullock movie!”
2. I’m going to die!
“I must break out or I will certainly die! My captors are ignoring my screams, and this death machine is obviously soundproof because no one hears my cries for help! I must try to break the latch, then I’ll sneak up behind my captor, jump on her head and render her sightless! Yes, now I have a plan.”
3. I guess this is where I’ll be forever
“Well, here I go. They’re getting ready to load me onto that loud machine. Maybe this time they’ll never let me out of this thing. Perhaps this will be my new home. Maybe I should just start mentally decorating it. I know it’s cozy, but black is a neutral color, and I think I could make it work.”
4. She’s finally gone crazy
“I always knew she was a few sandwiches short of a picnic, but now it’s official: She’s finally gone off the deep end. Why else would I be sitting in this plastic cage in the back of what she keeps calling an ‘SUV?’ That must be code for something. The voices in her head probably told her about it. And she’s singing in the front seat of the SUV. Only someone crazy could sound that horrible. I’m at the mercy of a woman who’s lost her mind!”
5. Wake me up from this nightmare!
“OK, I must be sleeping. This is all just a bad dream. I have a feeling I’ve had this dream before, though. What happened last time? I can’t remember! Wake up, wake up! For the love of Bast, wake up!”
What do you think your cat is thinking when he’s riding in his carrier?
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About the Author: Angie Bailey is an eternal optimist with an adoration of all things silly. Loves pre-adolescent boy humor, puns, making up parody songs, thinking about cats doing people things and The Smiths. Writes Catladyland, a cat humor blog, Texts from Mittens (birthed right here on Catster) and authored whiskerslist: the kitty classifieds, a silly book about cats wheeling and dealing online. Partner in a production company and writes and acts in comedy web series that features sketches and mockumentaries. Mother to two humans and three cats, all of which want her to make them food.
