A while back I wrote about the things I do with my cats that may lead other people to believe I’m a little off my rocker. My cats are generally tolerant of my sometimes questionable behavior, but even they occasionally look at me like I’ve lost my mind. Their stunned looks don’t deter me, mind you. I think it’s kind of funny to watch their expressions.
Here are five reasons why my cats think I’m a nut job.
Cosmo has the cutest, roundest little back haunches, or like I call them, his “butt.” When he’s loafed somewhere, I like to sneak behind him and squeeze both sides of his back end. And then I usually make some sort of noise like, “Eeep!” or “Rrrrrr!” He barely even turns around — he can’t even be bothered anymore. I’m sure if I could see his face, he’d be rolling his eyes.
In the same vein as “Stuff on My Cat,” I find myself plopping items on top of my cats’ heads and calling them “hats.” They’re never anything heavy or anything, but are usually ridiculously random household objects like plastic bottle caps, spaghetti jar lids, small calculators, Christmas tree ornaments and tissues. And yes, there are typically songs involved. Only I sing, though; however, it’d be extra-super cool if my cats would chime in sometimes. And as soon as I’d press the video camera function on my phone, they’d stop singing. Just like that Looney Tunes frog.
I take a ton of cat photos. Between Catster and my blog, I’m in daily need of cute cat photos. I know most of you probably take your fair share of kitty pics, so you can relate to the fact that trying to snag the perfect snapshot requires looking like a complete idiot. I crawl on the floor, dangle toys, shake treat bags and make ridiculous licking noises with my mouth. My cats oblige about 25 percent of the time. I think they’d cooperate sooner, but they’d rather watch me flop around and fuss with a bazillion props. They’re laughing at me inside those fuzzy little heads — I just know it.
Out of the blue, I’ll sometimes make monster hands and walk toward one of my cats. I’ll include growly, Frankenstein-type sounds as well. Of course. It’s not worth it if you’re not 100-percent committed to the role. They never look scared or even slightly amused. Mostly my cats just stare at me and then continue licking themselves or drift off to sleep. Turns out they don’t like to play “monster.” Or else they’re sick of my tired old games. Probably both.
Do your cats ever race around the house like wild beasties? Mine do, especially Cosmo. He particularly enjoys and nice long run just before mealtime. If I’m feeling especially silly, I’ll start running with him. I don’t chase him, although sometimes it winds up looking that way. He is nearly always taken aback with my behavior. He’ll stop mid-stride and just look at me like, “Have you totally lost it?” He seems to have forgotten he was just doing the same exact thing. It’s like he’s afraid I’m horning in on his gig.
Do your cats sometimes think you’ve slipped off the deep end? Tell us about it in the comments!
About the Author: Angie Bailey is a goofy girl with freckles and giant smile who wants everyone to be her friend. Loves pre-adolescent boy humor, puns, making up parody songs, and thinking about cats doing people things. Writes Catladyland, a cat humor blog, and authored whiskerslist: the kitty classifieds, a silly book about cats wheeling and dealing online. Partner in a production company and writes and acts in comedy web series that may or may not offend people. Mother to two humans and three cats, all of which want her to make them food.
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