What Cats Really Want for Christmas

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The holidays are upon us, and everyone’s writing their letters to Santa, hoping they’ll find that special something underneath the tree. Even cats have gift wish lists and would be pawsitively pleased to have their holiday dreams fulfilled.

Here are six presents cats would scratch onto their Christmas lists, most of them unwrappable, yet highly coveted.

cat gifts
Photo: ©Sonsedska | Getty Images

A box of the month club makes for an ideal cat gift

Cats and boxes go together like eggnog and figgy pudding. Just like we humans enjoy a festive wine or jelly-of-the-month club membership, cats would delight in a box-of-the-month club. Imagine their joy in finding a brand new box sitting on the doorstep each month — and the boxes would be empty, not tainted with rubbish from their people’s online orders.

Related: How To Use An Amazon Box To Entertain Your Cat All Day Long

Gift your cat a broken faucet

Forget an expensive cat fountain; kitties are over the moon when we forget to completely turn off a faucet, and they can enjoy a little happy hour from the comfortable elevation of the kitchen or bathroom counter. What’s better than that? A broken faucet that constantly drips! It won’t easily fit inside a stocking, but it’s one of those “experience” gifts that will make Santa look like a hero. Plus, we save money on a repair person or expensive tools and plumbing parts. Double win!

cat gifts
Photo: captainsecret; WestLight | Getty Image

Crumpled gift wrapping is the perfect cat gift

Most everyone enjoys opening gifts on Christmas morning. We, of course, look forward to the contents of the pretty packages; however, cats would rather pounce around in the crumpled paper of the gift-unwrapping aftermath. The trouble is, many of us thoughtless humans immediately toss the discarded paper into a trash bag, while cats sit on the sidelines.

Your cat would love a spycam

Cats like knowing our whereabouts every moment of every day. Even when they’re sleeping, their feline radar’s switch is flipped, and they can sense when we’ve entered their two favorite rooms: the kitchen and the bathroom. Kitties would love nothing more than a fancy spycam that follows us wherever we go outside the home. They’d be able to track when we’re in the grocery store looking at the cat treat shelves or (gasp!) petting another cat.

cat gifts
Photo: ©lisegagne | Getty Images

A case of toilet paper

Some cats are quite the artists when given the blank canvas of a toilet paper roll. Gifted kittens seem to show creative promise at a young age; however, mature cats have been known to create some legendary masterpieces in their studios (aka, our bathrooms). These artistic cats would be over the moon to find a case of gift-wrapped toilet paper underneath ol’
tannenbaum. Note to Santa: Single-ply rolls are perfectly acceptable for novices, while double-ply is reserved for more experienced paws. If a cat’s medium is triple-ply, you should probably contact a gallery and arrange a show, pronto.

Clones of us

Our kitties have a special bond with us and usually prefer us to be within their vision and earshot — you know, in case there are any treat- or warm laundry-related sights and sounds. If we have to leave our homes (perish the thought!), they feel utterly lost. Well, let’s be real — the lost feeling lasts about five minutes and then they’re in napland. What if cats had access to a clone of you, though? So even when we’re not home, we are home. It does sound a little science fiction-y and maybe creepy, but what if? Imagine a cat’s joy in a world where we never leave home and are constantly at their beck and call. We hear Santa has some pretty sophisticated factories up there at the North Pole, so you never know. And if an entire clone is impossible, identical reproductions of our laps would be a close second.

Featured image: loops7 | Getty Image

Read Next: How to Keep Your Cat Safe Around the Christmas Tree

8 thoughts on “What Cats Really Want for Christmas”

  1. My cat plays most consistently with a little foam (store-bought) soccer ball that bounces, a bit of scrunched-up paper that I’ve made into a ball, an empty toilet paper roll, and a store-bought catnip pillow. It’s small enough she can kick it with her feet. You can save your money on the cat beds (the one in the living-r00m I’ve made into a cat-toy box, the one in the den she ignores—she prefers to sleep on the enclosed balcony under the covers on the chair). Save your money, too, on spy cams and all the other toys.

  2. My one baby Buster loves little soft balls multi colors. They are made of puffy wool and he carries them around in his mouth, knocks them all over and I usually find about 10 buried every day under the fridge or the rug. My other baby Mrs. Lovett loves to roll around on a towel full of catnip. Both go crazy for string. They are the loves of my life.

    1. BE CAREFUL of the string. It can end up in their stomachs and twist around organs, requiring surgery. I had this happen to one of mine and if it were not for a smart vet, she would have died.

  3. My cats disdain pretty much everything – toys, beds, tunnels, sleep sax, most blankets, etc. They are both annoying, obnoxious poo—heads! I recently finally sprung for a tree that has two high “perches”; two platforms; and two hidey-holes (one is a solid cave of imitation wood; the other is only a furry cloth-thing with no solid structure except the top & bottom). The two parts are held together with furry cloth walls. They only use the lower of two perches and disdain the soft-sided cave. The rest is utterly ignored! If I thought that they’d accept only those parts, I’d build one and maybe save some moneg (?). Cats are despicable! Lol

  4. I bought my Timmy prawns and he watched almost patiently while I peeled them. He has been affectionately grateful ever since – a great pressie for him ????

  5. If I added up all the money I wasted on toys for my fur kids only to be discarded with bored disdain, I’d have enough for a chalet in the Swiss Alps. Nothing is better than a paper grocery bag or cardboard box. They can wreck total havoc on a roll of paper towels or tissue roll.

  6. Linda E. Polinski

    I loved the six presents cats REALLY want for
    Christmas. I wish I had read those recommendations earlier. Instead, I got my
    cat some furry mice toys, which he is only
    slightly interested in. And, I made the mistake
    of buying him a cuddly, new cat bed. Naturally, he totally ignores it, and every time I put him in it, he gets mad and leaves.
    I should’ve known better!!
    Meowy Christmas to everyone.

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