The holidays are upon us, and everyone’s writing their letters to Santa, hoping they’ll find that special something underneath the tree. Even cats have gift wish lists and would be pawsitively pleased to have their holiday dreams fulfilled.
Here are six presents cats would scratch onto their Christmas lists, most of them unwrappable, yet highly coveted.
Cats and boxes go together like eggnog and figgy pudding. Just like we humans enjoy a festive wine or jelly-of-the-month club membership, cats would delight in a box-of-the-month club. Imagine their joy in finding a brand new box sitting on the doorstep each month — and the boxes would be empty, not tainted with rubbish from their people’s online orders.
Forget an expensive cat fountain; kitties are over the moon when we forget to completely turn off a faucet, and they can enjoy a little happy hour from the comfortable elevation of the kitchen or bathroom counter. What’s better than that? A broken faucet that constantly drips! It won’t easily fit inside a stocking, but it’s one of those “experience” gifts that will make Santa look like a hero. Plus, we save money on a repair person or expensive tools and plumbing parts. Double win!
Most everyone enjoys opening gifts on Christmas morning. We, of course, look forward to the contents of the pretty packages; however, cats would rather pounce around in the crumpled paper of the gift-unwrapping aftermath. The trouble is, many of us thoughtless humans immediately toss the discarded paper into a trash bag, while cats sit on the sidelines.
Cats like knowing our whereabouts every moment of every day. Even when they’re sleeping, their feline radar’s switch is flipped, and they can sense when we’ve entered their two favorite rooms: the kitchen and the bathroom. Kitties would love nothing more than a fancy spycam that follows us wherever we go outside the home. They’d be able to track when we’re in the grocery store looking at the cat treat shelves or (gasp!) petting another cat.
Some cats are quite the artists when given the blank canvas of a toilet paper roll. Gifted kittens seem to show creative promise at a young age; however, mature cats have been known to create some legendary masterpieces in their studios (aka, our bathrooms). These artistic cats would be over the moon to find a case of gift-wrapped toilet paper underneath ol’
tannenbaum. Note to Santa: Single-ply rolls are perfectly acceptable for novices, while double-ply is reserved for more experienced paws. If a cat’s medium is triple-ply, you should probably contact a gallery and arrange a show, pronto.
Our kitties have a special bond with us and usually prefer us to be within their vision and earshot — you know, in case there are any treat- or warm laundry-related sights and sounds. If we have to leave our homes (perish the thought!), they feel utterly lost. Well, let’s be real — the lost feeling lasts about five minutes and then they’re in napland. What if cats had access to a clone of you, though? So even when we’re not home, we are home. It does sound a little science fiction-y and maybe creepy, but what if? Imagine a cat’s joy in a world where we never leave home and are constantly at their beck and call. We hear Santa has some pretty sophisticated factories up there at the North Pole, so you never know. And if an entire clone is impossible, identical reproductions of our laps would be a close second.
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