Lifestyle

Call Me Gross, But I Won’t Stop Doing These 5 Things to My Cats

By Angie Bailey

, February 3, 2014

Believe me, I’ve grown accustomed to people calling me “weird” and “strange.” My humor can sometimes fall into the “potty” category and I have no problem talking openly about some subjects that others find inappropriate. Heck, even here on Catster, readers have told me I’m gross. I suppose I could be called far worse names, and they’re probably right. Guess what, though? I couldn’t give a cat’s a** about those kinds of comments.

I adore my cats, to a degree that some friends think is weird (there’s that word again). I’m an affectionate individual who absolutely loves connecting with others — people and animals alike. I’m one of those huggers that some of you hate to see coming at you. As you can imagine, I’m equally affectionate with cats, especially my own. Some might call a few of my gestures of affection weird or gross (those words!), but they are part of what makes me me, and I’m not stopping anytime soon.

Here are five things I do with my cats that some think are disgusting or bizarre.

1. Kiss kitty feet

I know exactly where those paws have been and I don’t care. I’m kissing them … the tops and the bottoms. They’re just so darn adorable! Maybe if they’d stop being so cute, I’d stop kissing them. Until then, no chance.

2. Drink from the same cup as a cat

I’ve seen my cat with his snout buried in one of my water cups. I remove the snout, but do not dump the water. Who cares? I’ve probably shared cups with far grosser mouths. I guess I just feel lucky he didn’t tip over the water cup.

3. Nibble cat ears

I’m not talking about chomping giant chunks out of my cat’s ear, now. Sometimes when I’m holding a kitty close and perhaps kissing him, I can’t help but capture that silky little ear between my lips and nom-nom-nom it. I don’t use my teeth — the lips are enough to give me the feeling I’m snacking on my cat. You know when people say, “You’re so cute, I could just eat you up!” I’m sort of taking it to the next level. I also used to nibble my kids’ toes when they were babies. My son is 16 now and I’m not going anywhere near those feet!

4. Talk to cats while they’re using the facilities

I love the concentrated looks on cats’ faces when they’re poised for a poop. They go into a trance of sorts, and I enjoy trying to talk to them while they’re tranced out in the potty-zone. I don’t do this all the time, but I do think it’s pretty funny. Hey, they don’t let me poop in peace.

5. Kiss cats on the “lips”

Alright, this is the granddaddy of all controversial affection gestures: smooching a cat square on the kisser. I honestly don’t see what the big deal is. I’ve been kissing cats for over 40 years and haven’t contracted illness — not even once. It’s not like I’m using tongue or anything (now that’s weird and gross). But a quick smack on the “lips” is sweet, I think. So there.

Do you do anything with your cats that others would consider gross or weird? Tell us in the comments!

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About the Author: Angie Bailey is an eternal optimist with an adoration of all things silly. Loves pre-adolescent boy humor, puns, making up parody songs, thinking about cats doing people things and The Smiths. Writes Catladyland, a cat humor blog, Texts from Mittens (birthed right here on Catster) and authored whiskerslist: the kitty classifieds, a silly book about cats wheeling and dealing online. Partner in a production company and writes and acts in comedy web series that features sketches and mockumentaries. Mother to two humans and three cats, all of which want her to make them food.

Tags: Behavior, Humor, Offbeat

Angie Bailey

Angie Bailey, an award-winning writer, podcaster, and humorist, is the author of Texts from Mittens and Whiskerslist: The Kitty Classifieds. She’s written cat humor for over a decade, and lives in Minneapolis with her fiancé and two cats — Phoebe, a sassy senior and Janet, a teenage kitty with tons of tortitude.

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