You’ve probably them: those cheesy motivational posters hanging in offices and conference rooms. They’re supposed to inspire employees to be the very best they can be. I’m all for inspirational quotes, but some of these posters are even a little hokey for me. It makes sense that you see them hanging in Michael Scott’s office on The Office. He’s the king of this kind of cheese.
Humans aren’t the only ones with the capacity for “rah-rah.” If they could, cats would create their own motivational posters for their feline workplaces. Ha ha — let me stop right there. The funniest part of this concept is the idea that cats would actually work. Not so much. But let’s pretend they do meet in conference rooms and review agendas about very important topics like nap breaks and, well, nap breaks. Here are eight posters I think would adorn their office walls.
It’s fun to track bugs as they move across the kitchen floor, but it’s much more efficient when you tackle the bug situation as a team. Cats could each use their strengths to get the job done. Not every kitty has paws of lightning, but he or she could be blessed with expert eyesight. And, of course, all cats are gifted with crazy-good supervisory skills. We humans can attest to that one all day long.
There’s no “I” in team, kitties. No, get that bug together.
If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again … to jack that food off another cat’s plate. You see, if you stand there looking fairly ominous for a long enough time, you’re bound to finally bully your way over to that plate. Or, at the very least, odds are pretty good that, one of the times, the other cat will simply walk away without finishing the meal. It’s true — some cats actually feel “full” and don’t inhale every crumb of food.
Kitties don’t often things go, so they don’t need much motivation in this area. Perhaps the whole “staying awake” thing is the biggest challenge to persistence.
There’s an alpha in every cat home. That kitty gets all the best sleeping spots, plays with the coolest toys, and doesn’t think twice about knocking treats right out of another cat’s mouth. Leadership is a tricky topic because cats often confuse it with being just plain bossy. They need reminders.
Stand by that empty food dish long enough, and food will eventually appear. But first, you must believe. And sometimes you have to meow and shoot laser stares at your humans.
5. Self Confidence
It can be tough to have self confidence when you’re forced to wear hoodies, pirate costumes, and sailor suits. Don’t despair, kitties — you can still feel like a million bucks on the inside. Just don’t let your friends see those pics on social media. And a carefully coughed-up hairball in a human’s shoe doesn’t hurt either.
Every cat knows the glory of a brand new box. Seriously, what’s better than that? I’ll tell ya what’s better than that: a brand new box with a piece of loose packing tape hanging off the side. The chewability is exquisite and, if a killjoy human doesn’t peel the tape off and throw it away, good times ahead! And if it does get tossed, so what? Cats are excellent garbage tippers.
A box — especially one with sticky packing tape attached — is surely reason to celebrate gratitude.
Cats don’t need no stinkin’ jingle ball. They’re master innovators when it comes to cat toys. Everything is a potential plaything, including straws, balls of paper, hair elastics, and ballpoint pens. This poster would be a reminder … nay, a celebration … of the cats’ innovative mind.
Cats are known to be a little jumpy, especially when faced with loud or startling sounds. This poster motivates cats to go head to head with those hair dryers, vacuum cleaners, and blenders. It challenges them to invoke the bravery of their wild jungle cousins!
Because of resulting panic attacks, this poster would be pulled from several office walls.
What type of motivational poster would your cat create? Tell us in the comments!