I’m not ashamed to admit I love watching TV. I watch only an hour or two a day, but I truly savor the moments in front of the boob tube. Well, I suppose it’s not so much a tube anymore, right? Boob flat-screen? That sounds all kinds of wrong.
Anyway. As much as I adore my love affair with the remote control, I must admit that my cats provide far more interesting, dramatic, and comedic entertainment through their behavior. Here are six ways my cats are better than TV.
1. No reruns
Cats are unpredictable. Throw a ball for a dog and he’ll chase it. Throw a ball for a cat and he might chase it … and he might start chewing on his leg. One thing’s for certain: With cats, you never know what you’re going to get, but you can bet it will be wildly entertaining and sometimes surprising. And unlike TV shows, they never, ever jump the shark.
2. Cliffhangers galore
Sometimes life with my cats is one cliffhanger after another. When I remove Saffy from the kitchen counter and walk away, I never know if she’ll immediately return to the no-no zone. I’m telling you, it’s a real nailbiter. I find myself constantly peeking through the kitchen door, making sure she’s still grounded.
3. Better drama than Desperate Housewives
My little cat family is full of drama. Cosmo and Phoebe are like the catty neighbors who are always gossiping and making life difficult for the awkward wallflower. In our house, the little wallflower is Saffy. Saff usually steers clear of the dastardly duo, but if they happen to catch her in one of their favorite places, all hell breaks loose. What’s a great drama without an occasional cat fight?
4. Funnier than Comedy Central
I don’t need to flip on the TV to enjoy a good laugh — I just have to turn in the direction of my three kitties and giggles are sure to follow. People sometimes ask me, “Why are cats so popular?” Personally, I think it’s because they’re absolutely hilarious. They try their hardest to look and act refined, which makes them even funnier when they do something completely undignified like fall off the sofa or go completely nutso over a moth. And what’s more hysterical than a totally serious-looking cat riding around on a Roomba? It’s completely ridiculous — and that’s funny.
5. The season never ends
I dread the season-end of my favorite shows. And the finale is sometimes a cliffhanger, which makes the frustration even worse. When I’m watching my cats, the season never ends! There may be a cliffhanger now and again, but you don’t have to wait several months to see what happens next. Yeah, you can’t really record episodes, but you can bet the next installment will be off-the-hook entertainment.
6. No commercials
Recording our favorite shows allows us to fast-forward through commercials and that’s cool. I find that sometimes I just want to watch a show as it premieres, which means I have to sit through several minutes of ads. Cat-watching is commercial-free and I don’t have to skip through anything. Sometimes, however, it might be nice to fast-forward through some of their endless nap time. I don’t mind slow-moving entertaining, but those episodes are real sleepers.
In what ways are your cats better than TV? Tell us about it in the comments!
About the Author: Angie Bailey is a goofy girl with freckles and giant smile who wants everyone to be her friend. Loves pre-adolescent boy humor, puns, making up parody songs, and thinking about cats doing people things. Wrote a ridiculous humor book about cats wheeling and dealing online. Partner in a production company and writes and acts in comedy web series that may or may not offend people. Mother to two humans and three cats, all of which want her to make them food.
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