5 Things I Do with My Cats That I’m Glad No One Sees!


I confess to acting a little bizarrely now and again. My family’s gotten used to it and doesn’t bat an eyelash anymore when they find me in lying in an empty bathtub or attempting to tuck myself into a cat loaf position. My teenage son still, however, hasn’t gotten over when, a few years ago, I asked him to hold the video camera while I cackled and rolled around on the floor, demonstrating a literal ROFL for a blog post. When he sasses me, I sometimes threaten to show the video to his friends when they’re over for band practice. Or even worse, treat them to a live performance.

You know who loves jumpin’ on the crazy train with me? My three cats. They’ll never admit it, but who doesn’t love wrapping themselves up, burrito-style, in a freak flag once in a while? Or every day, even? Plus, is there really anything pressing on a cat’s schedule? Negative. They have all the time in the world to engage in a little of my tomfoolery.

1. Cats in colanders

Cats love boxes, right? Even if you don’t share living quarters with felines, you’ve probably seen a Facebook newsfeed, which means yes — you know cats love boxes. Really, cats love any sort of container into which they can tightly tuck themselves.

Sometimes I like to place random containers on the floor and watch my cats’ reactions. Many of the containers they climb into are kitchen-related, which endlessly entertains me. Cat in a shoebox = funny. Cat in a metal colander = freaking hilarious. What’s the difference, really? I have no reasonable explanation, but cats lying inside kitcheny objects tickles me to no end.

2. Cat in the belly

Cosmo likes to curl up on my belly. If I can maneuver it without disturbing the sleeping kitty, I like to pull a blanket over him and rub my kitty lump like a baby bump. Much to his teenagerly annoyance, I’ll sometimes ask my son to come over and “feel the baby kick.” He does not get a kick out of that request.

3. Cats with hats and stacks

Sometimes when my cats are sleeping, I dress them up a little bit. I usually place found objects (you know, “hats”) on their heads, but I do occasionally stack random items on their bodies, ├á la Stuff on My Cat. They have to be seriously asleep for these sorts of shenanigans. An awake or partially asleep cat will have none of that business. Or they may completely ignore me. Really, who am I to predict how a cat will react to anything?

4. Cats on game shows

I’ve always enjoyed playing interactive games with my kitties and, on occasion, I pretend they’re game show contestants. I place two pantry items and one bag of treats on the kitchen floor and tell the cats whichever of them can identify the treats first will win a prize. Of course, they all receive prizes of treats and nip, but I like to create some tension between the contestants. You might think they’d all immediately go for the bag that smells like beef, right? Wrong. They usually carefully sniff each item and then one will knock over the bag of treats.

While they’re busy examining the choices, I like to play the role of audience member and cheer them on, erupting in a final standing ovation for the winner. Truth be told, I used to play a version of this game with my kids when they were babies. It seems like only yesterday when I held a bottle in one hand and a box of chicken pilaf Rice-a-Roni in the other, asking my six-month-old (now 17-year-old) daughter to reach up from the fuzzy fleece blanket and choose which was hers. Sometimes she chose the rice and that was awesome.

5. Cats who gossip

I love the feel of a kitty nose in my ear, especially if there are purr-rumbles vibrating from it. So I don’t feel like a total weirdo running around pressing cat noses to my ear, I have a scenario that I play out during nose-to-ear action. I pretend my cat is telling me secrets and I, of course, answer what kitty is “telling” me. What am I, rude? “Really? I had no idea! That tramp!” And then I make fake whispering noises into her ear and make believe she’s totally engrossed in the gossip I’m delivering to that fuzzy little earsceptacle. Again, this works infinitely better with a sleepy cat.

Do you do any crazy things with your cats? Tell us about them in the comments!

If you liked this, read more silly posts by Angie Bailey:

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