On Saturday, the news dropped like a bomb. Well, not really a like bomb. Maybe like a firecracker. Maybe like someone who had just taken a large sip of water, heard the news, and then spit the water all over the person who told them the news.
Grumpy Cat is coming out with a coffee beverage. Take a good long look at this thing:
Yep, you’re seeing right. That’s the first-ever Grumpuccino — and not, astonishingly, a “cat-puccino.” Obviously the makers knew full well they could have called it a cat-puccino and chose not to, for their own foolish reasons. It’s sort of hostile decision, really. I mean, they were so close to allowing us to finally tell our waiters, “I’ll have a cat-puccino, please!” and really mean it, and they ripped it away from us.
It’s enough to make you angry. Or, duh, grumpy.
Back to this drink, which will be available Aug. 7 according to the website (call in sick from work, gang!): The tagline is, “It’s awfully good,” which does not sound like something Grumpy Cat would say at all.
Of course, Grumpy Cat probably just said, “It’s awful” but then someone added a few consonants and vowels and here we are, staring down the barrel of a Grumpy Cat product launch.
We’re getting out of the way on this one. Sure, it’s a cute bottle. And it says right there that the coffee is “Premium,” so it must be delicious (this is the 1980s, right?). But the whole thing makes us a little nervous, as if Grumpy Cat is just now clearing some circling hammerheads on his waterskis. We hope that’s not the case. We hope this is just season two of the Grumpy Cat show and they are many happy years left.
But really, an Internet cat selling refrigerated coffee? It’s almost as weird as Rush Limbaugh selling ice tea.
Also, for you coffee snobs out there, yeah, you normally don’t see cappuccinos, however they’re spelled, offered in mocha flavor, like this bottle is offering. But take a closer look at the bottle — it’s a freaking cat selling freaking coffee.