I love my sleep. I’m a pretty light sleeper and am occasionally stricken with insomnia; however, if all the conditions are perfect, I can make it through an entire night with little interruption.

My cats are not part of the “if all the conditions are perfect” category. Cats are cats. They’re curious, mischievous, and want to be with us all the time. At least my cats do. I love the little muffins, but they sometimes interrupt my precious sleep.

Here are five ways they do it.

1. Banging on the bedroom door

I go to bed earlier than anyone else in my house. Because our bedroom is right off the living room, I close the door when I hit the hay in the evening. I don’t mind if cats sleep with me, as long as they curl up and sleep — and sometimes they do this. I can typically tell if it will be a quiet night by kitty’s behavior at bedtime. If Cosmo or Phoebe act sleepy and affectionate, it’s a good sign they’ll be down for the count. If they’re still playful, I don’t want them anywhere near my blissful sleep bubble.

Sometimes, on nights they spend outside the bedroom, they suddenly decide they’d like entrance into my bedroom. And now. This is not a quiet request. This is paw banging that jolts me straight out of dreamland. Those paws are small but mighty.

2. Kitchen counter shenanigans

Saffy and Phoebe are a part of the evening counterculture in our house. And by that, I mean they love cruising the kitchen counter after everyone’s nodded off. They think they’re stealthy, but not so much. If I don’t awake from the clink of cups being swatted into the kitchen sink, then I’ll certainly hear the thump of my big-girl Saffy as she descends onto the floor.

3. Puke

My cats don’t do a lot of vomiting. I regularly groom them, and that seems to keep hairballs at bay. The impetus for midnight hurling in our house is the act of eating way too quickly. Nobody wants the hacky-gakky alarm waking them up at 2 a.m. Then comes the very important decision: Do I get up and clean it now, or wait and attack the cold pile with a paper towel in the morning? I admit to doing both — just depends on how tired I am, and how much I might mind stepping in surprise cold-puke piles at 5 a.m.

4. Dry humping

Don’t worry, nobody’s dry humping me in the night, but sometimes I awake to the bed shaking a little bit. I look toward the footboard and see Cosmo on top of Phoebe. They’re both altered, and I know it’s completely normal feline behavior, but still … it’s a hell of a way for me to wake up.

5. Blanket burrowing

Sometimes I feel like the night will be a quiet one, and then I wake up to Cosmo tunneling under the covers like a mole. Once he’s completely covered, he spins around several times until he finds his “perfect” spot (which is flat against me) and then he begins the purring and drooling. Believe me, I love my little mole to the moon and back, but this routine is not friendly to those of us who are prone to insomnia … or don’t particularly enjoy sleeping on drool-soaked sheets.

How do your little darlings interrupt your precious sleep? Let us know in the comments!

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About the Author: Angie Bailey is an eternal optimist with an adoration of all things silly. Loves pre-adolescent boy humor, puns, making up parody songs, thinking about cats doing people things and The Smiths. Writes Catladyland, a cat humor blog, Texts from Mittens (birthed right here on Catster) and authored whiskerslist: the kitty classifieds, a silly book about cats wheeling and dealing online. Partner in a production company and writes and acts in comedy web series that features sketches and mockumentaries. Mother to two humans and three cats, all of which want her to make them food.

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