Who Meeee????

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Do I exercise????

September 16th 2004 6:39 am
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Many kitties have asked me that question.

Ooops --hack hack!! -- hairball.... (when Baby Twinkle hacks up a hairball the earth stands still)

Now, as I wuz saying:

Thanks for noticing my Arnold Schwartzenkitty physique!!! Am I not handsome-ly.... plump!!!???

Mommie bought that Body by Jake machine for herself and then saw that the foam rubber arm was getting holes in it-- she thought it was defective merchandise!! hahaha! Then one day she saw me reach up and grab it with ALL my claws. So she put a big sleeve over it. That's ok -- now she has to reupholster the seat!! (hee hee) Sometimes when I lie on the seat she creeps over and pats my little paws from under the seat -- what a fun game!

She even sent this piksha to the Body By Jake people but they didn't even answer her or think it was cute!

She also has a Healthrider -- it's my favorite "See- Saw"!!! I run over to it and sit next to it and look at Mommie... she knows Zactly what to do!!! So I jump on the seat and go for a ride. Princess looks at me... she thinks I'm crazy! The Healthrider seat is BIG to accommodate my large kittyness. I usually sit very primly, straight up on the seat and go see-sawing up and down and then I lie down on the seat and grab it with all my claws and ride up and down up and down. Mommie is very careful to be gentle with the ride or I will probably barf and when I barf, the earth stands still

Anyway, the Body by Jake is MY FAVRIT place to exercise .... lying on the seat like that makes me soooo happy. Snore...................

 

Do you like my kitty hat?

September 16th 2004 7:00 am
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I am a MOST fashionable kitty!!

I also have a Kitty Biker hat that Mommie made out of a black leather change purse! She painted silver studs on it so as not to muss my hair with the metal ones. Mommie will post that piksha as soon as she Adobe Photoshop's herself out of it (she's a hooman and ONLY kitties can be in the photographs )

 

How to be a Lump under the Covers

September 16th 2004 8:34 am
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I LOVE being a lump. Mommy covers me up gently and I can Lump myself under the bedcovers for a LONG LONG time -- once in a while Mom will Tweak my head or my lovely large kittybutt under the covers and I will go Purr Purr!!!!

BUT if Princess should DARE to come over to me and TOUCH me even just ONE little bit while I am being a Lump, I will GROWL mightily and fearesomely -- which does not stop Princess in the least little bit, oh no....

Meowmie always wonders "How can Baby tell if it's ME touching her or Princess touching her when she's under the covers???"

One day Meowmie came home and calledandcalledandcalled for me but I didn't come to her. So she walked into the bedroom and called me and saw a lump slowly move from the top of the bed to the bottom of the bed. And then I popped out. (I wuz pretending to be a prehistoric cave kitty)

Peeple, PLEASE be careful when you make the bed and turn over the mattress -- kitties can get caught between the mattress and the box srping and they can suffocate there.. Oh so sad.... Meowmie always takes all of us out of the bedroom and puts us in the livingroom and locks the bedroom door behind us so we can't come in when she is making the bed and turning over the mattress. We are glad that she thinks of our safety.

Once Princess got stuck inside the recliner!! When Meowmie found her she was so upset!! But luckily Princess was ok.....!! Then Meowmie got rid of the recliner and got a more cat-friendly one.

 

I LOVE the Balcony -- oh yes oh yes I do!! (PS it's fenced in!!!)

September 16th 2004 9:37 am
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Meowmie spent DAYS with wood posts, heavy duty chicken wire, sweat, descriptive words, and she made a beautiful modular enclosure for us on OUR balcony. We can't go under it, we can't go over it. She says she has to change it every 3 years so next year we get a NEW one!! But anyway, I LOVE to go out on the balcony and sit on my chair and meditate. We even have a HUGE Rubbermaid bin that Meowmie turned upside down and made a big door in it so we can sit under it when it's not too hot but we want some shade. (PS -- Meowmie drilled some holes in the lip surrounding the upside-down Rubbermaid bin so it would not hold water after it rained; gotta watch out for those moe-skeeters!!!). And we have cat grass to eat (and throw up!) and plants to give us shade (nothing poisonous out there).

There are TWO squirrels and a Fox that SCARED Big Bad Me when I first saw them (garden ornaments) but now I know they're not alive so they won't eat me. And in the evening there are lights here and there and I LOVE to sit on the balcony ! When Meowmie comes out I look at her nervously and say "Meowmeowmeow????" which means "Do I haftacome in?!" And Meowmie usually says "nope!" , but when it gets dark we gotta come in. poo.

Meowmie keeps a dish of fresh water on the balcony for us too -- and she makes sure she NEVER locks us out on the balcony when she closes the balcony door!!

Once, as I was sitting on my plushie seat cushion on the balcony, I meowmeowed and the nice people on the balcony next door meowed back at me and then Meowmie came out and meowed at them and we all laughed. She took me to the front door to show them my hugeness but I'm a little skeered of strangers so they didn't get too good a look. I don't know why I'm scared -- maybe it's becuz I lived the FIRST TENDER 7 months of my life on the streets -- when I first came to live HERE Meowmie thought I was brain damaged cuz I walked REALLY funny on the rug (but she wuz going to keep me even if there WAS something wrong with me)-- as it turned out, it was becuz I had NEVER walked on a rug before!!

When it snows -- I LOVE to play in the snow -- hmmm --- Meowmie posted one piksha of me playing in the snow -- one more to come. If there are snow drifts on the balcony I will JUMP right into them -- Meowmie makes sure I come inside and get warmed up though. Miss Princess, she walks on the edges of the inner balcony and shakes her tootsies -- she doesn't like snow, or rain -- she's a REAL Princess. Me -- I LOVE to chase wild leaves blowing on the balcony on dark autumn days, and I like the rain too. But Meowmie always tells me to pray for the poor kitties and pups who are ALWAYS out in the rain, the snow, the cold. brr.........

When I was younger and svelter (but Groooowing into my pleasantly plump largeness) my Meowmie would take me out on a harness (a really cool leather one with two buckles on the top and which I can absolutely NOT get out of!) and a double leash (cuz I broke the single leash -- luckily I was in training, in the living room when I broke it). I learned how to walk on a leash but I would walk where I wanted to walk, natch. But then I got Waaay too big to handle when I was out on the street with Meowmie (I do throw a hissy fit at times, and then I'm a bundle of frenetic frantic legs and teeth), and once a very besotted person holding a six pack starting making wierd noises at us (from across the street but even so -- it was REAL Skeery and I got all pouffed up and Meowmie said "lets get the heck out of here" to me), so I don't go outside any more -- that's ok -- I can only go out on the (totally fenced-in) balcony which is ok with me -- I still gets to see lotsa stuff, even just from the windows, and when it snows here I like to belly-flop into snowdrifts on the balcony before meowmie shovels them into the bathtub to melt..

 

The bathtub!!!

September 16th 2004 11:08 am
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As some people know, Turkish Vans are known as the swimming cats! I for one would not test that theory on ANY cat, but I DO love to jump into the bath after it has sufficiently drained and then recline like a sphinx in the lesser puddles that remain.

One day while meowmie was in the shower with the water going full blast I thought it would be fun to play with the shower curtain. Meowmie suddenly saw me jump into the tub, and BEFORE any of my feet touched the ground, I was OUT of that tub in a SECOND!!!!

When I was a young kitty, I had fleas, so Meowmie put stuff on me and WASHED ME under the shower!! Now THAT was TOO MUICH water!!! Boy did I scream -- Boy did I put some serious hemstitches on Meowmie's back!! In fact, Princess, who would fight like the devil with me back then, was waiting on the other side of the bathroom door to make sure I was ok!!

hee hee, once Meowmie's roomate picked me up and I screamed bloody murder -- so Princess, who at that time still hated me, RAN up to the roommate and soundly smacked him on his ankles!!! We kitties DO stick together when the going gets rough.

 

SNOW! SNOW! SNOW!! AND MORE SNOW!!

February 2nd 2005 12:25 pm
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Yay!! It snowed TWICE here already!! And TWICE I RAAAN out onto the (fenced-in) balcony and picked up pawfuls of SNOW! and played and played and played, scrabbling in the snow with my BIG BUTT up in the air, grabbing that snow with my kittypaws and then.... I RAN back into the apartment and RACE down the hallway and then turn around and go back out onto the balcony again for more... SNOW!

And as usual, Miss Princess pussy-footed her way AROUND the inside edges of the balcony so she wouldn't get her tootsies wet.

I played on the balcony SO MANY TIMES! Then it got dark and a BAAAD wind started howling and Meowmie closed the balcony and closed the drapes and then she saw a BIG LUMP under the drapes, and the lump was howling -- haha! That was MEE! I wanted to go out again, but she said something like "Tough Toenails, Toots! I'm not opening that door again -- It's too cold, and there is ALWAYS tomorrow."

Hmph.....

When we get REAL deep snows here I like to belly-flop into snowdrifts on the balcony before meowmie shovels them into the bathtub to melt..

But even when it's not snowing, I am a FOUR SEASON Balcony lover -- when it's autumn, I like to scrabble after the leaves that are racing across the balcony -- and when the wild wind blows on a wild October night -- oh THAT is a SONG FOR MY WILD SOUL!!! And in the hot hot summer and warm gentle Spring, when it's warm here I sit on the balcony chair and I SWAT Meowmie if she dares to stand in front of the sun and cast a shadow on MOI!

But I lived on the MEAN streets when I was a young Pootay and the things I saw were T-E-R-R-I-B-L-E.

Oh Meowmies and MeowDads-- your babies are better off INSIDE, there are some terrible people out on the streets who do very bad things to kitties and pups and hoomans........

 

Biggius Kittius Buttius

May 17th 2005 10:56 am
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That's me, doing my interpretation of a large kitty-shape Easter Egg.

Plump is beoootiful.

 

I dunno

July 14th 2005 10:06 am
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Meowmie won't let me out on the (fenced in, protected) balcony -- she says it's like pea soup outside and she doesn't want all that hoomidity coming inside. Like I care about hoomidity??? Of all things, maybe THAT will keep all my frowzy hair in place.

All I want to do is sit on/commandeer my favorite chair and listen to all the sounds that are outside (somebody plays their radio and I like that -- did I tell you I LOVE to listen to Dolly Parton singing? Meowmie sez I get this far-away look in my eyes and I stop whatever I am doing when Dolly sings - once she found me standing very very still, next to the radio, when Dolly was a-singing).

Well, I hope the pea soup goes away so I can sit on MY beloved balcony again soon.

 

Where is she........?.....!

October 26th 2005 7:09 am
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I have been going into Meowmie's bedroom (otherwise known as Princess' Room) for the past few days --lookng up, looking down, looking under things, looking here.... and... there... and I still cannot find Miss Princess!

Now last week Meowmie very sadly picked me up and brought me over to see Miss Princess who was lying in a little box sleeping on Meowmie's bed. I got scared -- something was not right -- so I hissed and Meowmie took me out of the bedroom. Then she took Cee Cee inside to see Princess sleeping. Then she left and took Princess with her and I don't know why Princess is not coming back -- or maybe she came back and I just can't find her...?

Meowmie has been acting very very STRANJ lately, too -- lots of leaky eyes and yowling.....

I don't unnerstand this. Something is NOT right.......

 

AAAGH! THE V-E-T!!!!!!

November 14th 2005 8:21 am
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Worse than a hairball -- WORSE than getting a Bath!!! The V-E-T!!!!

Grrrrrrowr!!!! I HATE going to da vet -- and to make things WORSE -- I overheard da Vet talking to Meowmie on the Tell-A-Phony. Da Vet sed that she and the WHOLE HOSPITTAL STAFF would be VERY happy if Meowmie gave me an Acepromazine before I got there. So I got this wonderful SKWISHEE treet -- called a Pill Pocket (whatever that means) with a CRUNCHY center and I ated it, and then I hunkered down and then I saw ... the .....Zzz ........ carrier monster, Zzzz..... and I tried to run but I was a little drunk and even though I ran a liddle bit in the closed room, I got grabbded by Meowmie and put in the carrier monster and we went to da Vet.

When Meowmie got there some SMART (haha) comments were made about my attitude, and Meowmie looked at one of the ladies behind the counter and sed "Has she ever swatted you?" and the lady smiled and said "No, but I've seen her in action!!" HEY -- they wuz talking about MEEEEEEEE!! SWEEEEEEET ME!!!

So then the LadyVet came to look at me and she had an assistant stoodent type person with her and I was so embarrassed -- in front of not one but TWO Vettie peepul!! The vet pointed at me and then LAUGHED and said to the stoodent "See?! It's working!" and they looked at my eyes that had the second lid coming down on them which means I am TRANKWILIZED -- But they soon learned (see, I tawt THAT stoodent something she didn't expect!!!) that just because I was trankwilized it DOES NOT MEAN THAT I AM TRANKWIL!!

So they weighed me (I am ONLY 14.7 pounds), and then the Vet Lady stuck her hands under my stummik and skweezed my stummik a liddle and I GROWWWLED! something NAAASTY and they sed "uh oh!!" then they did all kinds of other undignified things to ME -- the ruler of the world!! And then when they put me back into the carrier monster I turned around, stuck my arm out and SMACKED my Meowmie as hard as I could, before she could get the door closed!! Everyone just .... LAFFED!!!! Then on the way home I tried to open the carrier monster door but it's dubble locked, and Meowmie kept saying -- "I just don't unnerstand you, BBBT".

What part of "I HATE TO GO TO THE VET!" do you not understand, Meowmie?!

BBBT

 
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