Last night, the short, spiky-haired woman insisted on cleaning my ears. She is expecting company tonight, ergo, we must all look our best. I fail to see how my ears could shift her romantic or social life one way or the other, but since woman outweighs me by 104 pounds, I must acquiesce.

Also, the large, furry cat scratched me on my head. He will pay.

I'm Not Sure About These One-Calorie Treats

The woman gave the large, furry cat and I several Slim Snacks before she left for work this morning.

The large cat devoured them with aplomb. The large cat will eat anything.

I, however, sense a transparent marketing strategy. It appears that Slim Snacks are "one-calorie" because they are one-fifth the size of the five-calorie treats. The package appears to offer nutritional information to this effect. Would that I could read!