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A Cat's Conspiracy Theories

the monster machine

August 16th 2012 1:14 am
[ View A Comments (6) ]

to start with the key of the story: we've got a new family member and i HATE IT.

last monday the mailman brought a box for me. a box. just for me! i could hardly wait that human finally had removed what was inside the box and for her. pah! uninteresting. so extremely uninteresting that even human only had a short look at it and then put it aside. good for me. she placed the box at a nice place with a good view and i was happy.

then wednesday came. human had a few minutes and remembered the uninteresting thing. she plugged in a few wires, put the food switch on the floor and took a deep breath. i watched her and wondered if she was about to solve the hunger problems worldwide. guys seemed she nervous! "ishtar, it's more than 25 years ago since i did this", she said and took another deep breath. then - - - she started reading. took a spool of thread. i jumped up – a toy!!! she'd play with me!!! no. spool of thread was laid back while she read again. then new grip to the spool – my ears went up. but what was that??? she put the spool on the uninteresting thing. drew the thread through numerous holes and notches and more holes.

when she was finished human sat back, looked at me with a facial expression that made me wonder why solving the world hunger was such a big affair. after all she had only put a spool on a thing and had drawn thread from it. but then it happened. She stepped on the food switch…

*WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAhAAAAAAAhAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWAAAAAAA AAAAA* did the monster machine go!!! i saw the spool twirling and a sign of relief flashed over human's face. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAhAAAAAAAAAAAA.

i came closer. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. spool twirled and i saw that apparently electricity was involved. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. i changed plans and approached to the socket.

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. i slapped the socket. and it was silent at once. :)))) only human's laughter disturbed a little :(((((

recently in one of my favorite groups beautiful athena asked "Who is the guardian and who is guarded?" (in our homes) as week's question. without a doubt i have tried my best to expel the monster machine. but sometimes the cat in charge is helpless in her attempts to protect home when the foe is overpowering – and stands united with the biped.

Purred by: Timo Katze - DB #105 (Catster Member)

August 16th 2012 at 6:14 am

Wow, you know how to make monster machines shut up? Impressive. I sometimes start to chew on a cord thing that's plugged in but you think I was chewing on a cat's tail; that's how upset Mom gets. Your monster sounds like it's way too loud. We don't have one of those. Our Mom never learned how to tame one when she was young.

Hey, at least you got a nice box out of it.
Purred by: Athena (Forever Loved) (Catster Member)

August 16th 2012 at 9:08 am

What is the thing, Ishtar? What is it? Could it hurt you?
*flips tail anxiously*
Purred by: Sergei (Catster Member)

August 16th 2012 at 3:21 pm

Bravo, Ishtar! I know how stupid machines can disturb cat's peaceful kingdom, you did a good job slapping it! :)
Purred by: ishtar *proud wobnapt* (Catster Member)

August 16th 2012 at 10:21 pm

athena, i am afraid it IS dangerous. when the monster was silent i sniffed at it and human cried that i should stay away from something she called "needle" with my nose. and she claimed that the thing would BITE! how dares she to adopt a biting monster :(( ???
Purred by: Beepers - Our Handsome Angel (Catster Member)

August 17th 2012 at 8:00 pm

We have one of those, too! Ashlynne and I don't pay much attention to it, but Mom always makes it stop if we come around. Mom made some beds and blankets for us with it!
Purred by: Sweets (Catster Member)

August 26th 2012 at 7:32 am

What a scary, potentially dangerous machine! You were so brave and clever to attack the machine at the socket (instead of where its single fang lies.)


ishtar *proud wobnapt*


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