As I See It... By Angus Otis Merlin McKitty

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I'm No Dummy!

August 14th 2006 10:40 pm
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It's true. I did great on my tests! Dr. Wexler-Mitchell says that I did very well on my urine, blood, and all my other tests. "Fabulous" is her exact word. Then she added, "given his age and diagnosis." Whatever! I am here, aren't I? And didn't everyone think I was going to DIE last year? I know The Momma did; she was practically planning the memorial when I upped and got pert near frisky, as they say. Take that, Butt Cannon!

The Butt Cannon hissed at me all day when I got back from the vet Friday. I simply ignored him. He doesn't know where I go or what I do. And besides, now that they have trimmed my nails, I am somewhat stealthy! Then yesterday The Momma discovered someone had peed in Samson's bed again. Hmmm. Who could it be? She can't figure out whether a cat would pee in his own bed, or if it's me! The poor woman is sometimes a bit slow.

But back to me. The high blood pressure? Well, people, I am STRESSED OUT by the constant pressure on me to eat, snuggle, and look cute. Dr. Wexler-Mitchell told The Momma to watch me for signs of hyper-vocalizing, pacing, or generally being "spaced out." Ha! As if I'm not that way all the time! Well, not really the pacing part, and not really the "spaced out" part either. Definitely not the hyper-vocalizing. I mean, I caterwaul all the time, but only when I want treats, water, food, doors open, or a human to do my bidding. Which is pretty much all the time.

Now The Momma has set up two bird feeders in the back yard so that I can watch them; honestly, it's a full time job. That, and waking her up every day so she can make money to buy me tuna.

 

Oh, the Indignity!

August 13th 2006 11:03 pm
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The Momma kept talking about going to the vet, but everytime she did, I left the room or hit her in the face with my Paw of Death. That's my way of saying, "talk to the Paw." David kept referring to "Angus's European relatives" and saying that I had to "visit out-of-town relatives." I have no idea what that guy is talking about most of the time, so I just ignore him.

Imgine my HORROR when The Momma grabbed me on Friday morning and stuffed me in the Cat Carrier! I peed all over her! Right down her legs and all over her feet! Take that Momma! She put me in the cat carrier and changed pants in the garage. She was all prepared! I was howling with outrage!

When we got to the vet, the receptionist said, "hmmm. Do you smell cat pee?" Right in a room full of people! The Momma was so humiliated at having to admit that it was HER even though she had changed her pants! Serves her right for making me go!

I won't talk about the horrors I was forced to endure - they took urine, weighed me, took my blood pressure, and clipped my nails! Clipped my nails! I was simply stoic through it all.

Dr. Wexler-Mitchell said that I had lost weight and wondered why The Momma didn't feed me more. Yeah, Momma! Why not? Ever since then, she's been tempting me with tuna, graham crackers, bits of whatever she's having. Mmmm. Maybe there has been a silver lining to this whole thing.

In any case, the test results come back tomorrow. Cross your paws for me.

 

Hair Today....

July 20th 2006 11:36 pm
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My fur is SO luxurious, people! Yes it is! So much so, in fact, that The Momma wants to give me a HAIR CUT in order to keep me cool for the summer. No Thank You!

When I had exploratory surgery last spring, they shaved my stomach as well as a patch on my back for the morphine patch. My tummy was pink and naked! The Momma would rub my tummy and kiss me tenderly, so scared of my Frankenstein scar, with zipper-like stitches running up and down my belly. Slowly the fur grew back, fuzzy and white, then thick and fluffy. The scar is almost invisible now underneath my luxurious curly long hair.

The Momma asked the vet if my fur would fall out or get thinner due to chemotherapy. The vet said that no, cats don't lose their fur like humans lose hair, but it might take a bit longer for my fur to grow back, and I might lose some whiskers. After that, The Momma would save all the whiskers she found around the house, sentimentally pressing them between the pages of my cat journal.

Now, that same Momma that caressed my fuzzy tummy and saved all my whiskers wants to shave me bald! Shame on you Momma! I must find a way to hide beneath the bed!

 

Food For Thought

July 19th 2006 8:52 pm
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On Saturday night we ran out of CAT FOOD (heavens forfend!) and since the vet who carries my special food was closed on SUNDAY, the Momma decided to IMPROVISE (can you see where this is going, people?) and left for the store, muttering something to David about "don't tell Angus." Like, what am I, stupid?

She came back with two packages, both orange and containing some food called IAMS. One was delicious, people! A subtle patee of salmon with a light consistency. I had one bowl and then demanded another! After a few moments, I demanded a third, but David put his foot down and said it would make me sick.

The next day she opened the second package, a pouch. It was NOT delicious, people! I simply refused to eat it, and stood above my bowl giving her the EVIL EYE. The poor woman felt so bad, and since it was Monday, she went and bought me some of the CAT TUNA I love so much from Trader Joe's. Honestly, the service is getting worse and worse here, but the Momma seems like she tries. Poor woman.

 

Hot Stuff

July 14th 2006 10:50 pm
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Long time no e, people. Things have been pretty good, I must say. Last year, when I was diagnosed with lymphoma, the Momma thought I had about 12 weeks to live. That's generally the prognosis. Imagine her shock and amazement when I continue to carry on each and every day.

In January, I got a pretty good prognosis from the Evil Amazon Vet, Dr. Wexler-Mitchell, and then I had my teeth done. Mom didn't want to do it, but I showed no signs of passing, so she had to. I was pissed, but recovered nicely, given My Condition. And of course, she is spoiling me something rotten!

Ever since I was diagnosed, she's decided to make my "last days" (more like months) the most enjoyable they can be. So she lets me go outside (supervised, of course) and gives me people treats (mmmm, tuna), and lots of brushing and loving and water on demand.

Of course, the more she gives, the more I want! And I'm not shy about letting her know it, people. Turn on the tap, move your stuff, give me food, clean this litter box, clear that bedding, outside, inside, now outside, now tuna. HA! I am running this house. It's no wonder she doesn't have any time to use the computer.

Samson smells my weakness of course, and has been trying to take over my spot on the bed, but the Momma lets him know who is NUMBER ONE and puts him in his place when I am too tired.

Lately it's been very hot and our house doesn't have air conditioning. Sometimes I am so tired I just want to find a nice dark place and nap, but that scares the Momma. As a compromise, I've been staying in the bathroom, where the tiles are cool. She likes that.

Now she is saying that I need to get a haircut to keep me "comfortable." As if.

 

My Tail of Devotion for Angus Otis Merlin McKitty

July 14th 2006 10:17 pm
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Angus, I know it hasn't always been easy. You think that I'm a bad mom, full of evil intentions to take you to the vet. You hate the car. You hate how much we moved when you were little. But I have always done my best to take care of you. I love your spirit, your sassy ways, and your demanding MRRROW!

Every night of our lives you call me and bring in Mr. Mouses. You know just what to say and do to make me feel better. We have been together through hurricanes and thunderstorms, lightening and hail. Graduate school, boyfriends who come and go, hateful jobs and the hardest financial times. You have survived two surgeries and are now on medication. You are brave and surprisingly willing. I know that sometimes you stay alive to make me happy.

Rest assured that I will always love you intensely, and that you are in my life and my heart forever. Every night when I pet you, it calms me, and each morning when I wake up, you give me a reason to get out of bed.


This is a special Tail of Devotion

See All Tails of Devotion

 

Poor Service, if you ask me

January 31st 2006 11:08 pm
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People! It almost happened! I almost got locked outside! I'm telling you, the staff here has gotten so inattentive!

It started last week, when The Momma went to Las Vegas to bowl in her annual Punk Rock Bowling Tournament. She was sick before she left, and she never should have left me (she admits this NOW) but she did, leaving the Mighty Mighty Butt Cannon and I in the care of the hippy dippy Cat Sitter Brook.

Brook is nice. She gives us treats, cleans the box, and plays with us, and says that I am a HAM (which I am NOT, people, it's just that I am so much smarter than the Mighty Mighty Butt Cannon and all other cats). She's even nice to the Butt Cannon, but then he acts all pathetic and love starved, which is just such a LIE. But I digress...

The Momma went to Las Vegas ill and came back even worse. She stayed home one day which was HEAVEN because she did nothing but NAP with me. As it should be.

But ever since then, she's been working much too hard and not letting me out in the back yard, and not properly paying attention to me, and not even brushing me daily, which people, you know that I need.

So yesterday, The Momma came home for lunch and David told her to let me go outside and he would watch me. But he doesn't! Don't tell her! He takes a shower and lets me run around untended! Of course, I can handle it, people. But then, horror! He locked the door and got ready to leave, and as I was patrolling the borders, I didn't hear the door locking. Finally, at the last minute, I bounded to the glass slider only to - hey! What's up! This door is supposed to be open! Open up! It's me! Open!

Whew! That was a close one. The Momma said I would have been out in the dark and the cold until she got home from work, and she's been coming home after 7! I just looked really fluffy and cute, and a bit put out, and she got all melty and stuff and gave me besos and smooches and treats. Humph. Not my fault at all! It's her fault! And the staff, who really should be more attentive, if you ask me!

 

I'm Too Sexy for My Fur

January 17th 2006 12:14 am
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Well, she did it. Rounded me up when I wasn't looking and shoved me into the cat carrier and off we went! I was so surprised I didn't have time to pee on The Momma! Of course, I should have known something was up when she wanted to wash my face and paws! What is that about! But the woman is nuts so who knows what she's up to half the time!

The photographer thought I was beautiful of course! And I am! See me on the Cat Walk! See me turn! See my fluffy tail! Hello World!

But actually, I was quite modest and there were too many bad smells and bad memories at that place for me. The photographer, a poor deluded man, kept playing with cat toys. I wasn't sure what that was about. He seemed to want me to DO something, so I didn't. I'm like that.

They took some pictures and we left. And of course The Momma spoiled me for the rest of the day. Humph! Like every day. I considered holding out my love, but she's too sweet to be mean to.

I mean, the other day I caught a cricket and you would have thought I'd grown an opposable thumb the poor woman was so excited! I ate its legs off and left the carcass for her. Thoughtful, no?

The Momma says we're upgrading to Catster Plus when we get our glamour shots so we can post them. It's about time! Nothing but the best for ME.

 

Catma and Catpa

January 5th 2006 9:19 pm
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My Catma and Catpa are what humans would consider a Grandpa or Grandma. My Catma happens to be staying here for a few days, so I thought I would tell you all about her.

You see, The Momma got me just as she was finishing college (yes, people, I've been to college!) and then took me with her to graduate school to get her Master's Degree (yes, people, I have a Master's Degree in Catitude, which is why I'm so much smarter than the other cats!). Along the way, we had a lot of adventures, like living with the Evil Amanda cat on Stenner Street in San Luis Obispo, and living in those "tree house" apartments (we had the top one, so all we could see outside was the tops of the trees!), and living near Madonna Mountain. We moved a lot. But after we moved 6 times in 4 years, I got so tired of it. And I hate the car (I think I've mentioned this before). The travel was just really getting to me.

So The Momma took me to stay with my Catma and Catpa for a little bit, while she got acclimated to her Ph.D. program. Well, that "little bit" turned into two years, and that's why I'm so close to my Catma and Catpa. You see, they fed me and loved me and took care of me until I could be reunited with The Momma. And believe me, when she moved back home, it was another 4 years before she could make a home for me (her roommates were allergic to cats). So, of the 13 years I've been alive, it's only been 7 that I've been with The Momma and 6 with my Catma.

Now, I have a home of my own with The Momma, and she's promised we'll NEVER move again. And now the Catma comes to stay with me, which is good because she gives me treats, and brushes me, and takes these fish oil pills that I am not supposed to get into, but I do (don't tell her). I've said it before and I'll say it again, "I AM the King!"

 

Plumb Gone Crazy

December 29th 2005 12:31 am
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Well, proof that the Momma has now lost her mind. Today she called and tried to make an appointment for "professional cat portraiture" for me! Yes, "glamour shots" for cats! As if I'm not glamourous enough, just lying around the house, licking my privates. Yes, indeedy!

Does she really think she's going to get me into the carrier and over to the Evil Amazon Women at the Cat Care Clinic for a photo shoot? I think not. Especially since 1) I hate the car 2) I hate the vet and 3) did I mention I hate the car?

Luckily, when the Momma called, other fools had gotten there first and the photographer was booked! Heh, heh. Goes to show you how many stupid humans are out there! The Momma says we are on a "waiting list" - yes, until the 12th of Never!

Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to go lie on my new Scratching Board.

 
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Angus Otis Merlin McKitty (RIP


 

Family Pets

Samson the
Butt Cannon
Lady Black
Cat, aka Lady
Boo
Sped Gizmo
Figaro aka
Figaro
Miss Kitty
LeMew

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