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Sweet 16 Sandy Says

Thanks to Everypurr!

Mistress and I want to thank everypurr who thought of us during this very hard time.

We really felt the outpouring of love through many cards, poems that made Mistress cry, rosies, stars and gifts. There were so many of them that there are too many to name!

Also we want to express our thanks to our closest friends on Catster. The A Team, along with many other angel kitties like Hazel Lucy, T.C., Charlie, Arthur and many others including Squeakers made me feel furry comfortable at the Bridge.

Thanks also to the S Team, Chey, Marina and Tosca, Gimli and Kenji, Bea, Samoa and many others for the rosettes, gifts, stars and many purrs, and thanks to their humans for lots of thoughts and purrs.

Mistress is also grateful for her Mom, Older Mistress, and her aunts Sandy and Irene and her Gram June and friends Gary and Jen plus many FB friends for their support.

Mistress said it was harder spending that last ten days with me than it was to watch me leave.

We had a nice last night together. I didn't wanna go to bed with her, but she kinda dragged me to bed and cuddled with me. After that, I laid on the foot of the bed and watched her sleep so that if she woke up in the middle of the night, the first thing she saw was my face.

She got up and hurried around, standing under water and packing things, so I thought she was going to leave me, but the kitty jail was already down.

Mistress didn't want to leave, and actually, neither did I, cuz whenever I go away in that kitty jail, I go to the vet! In the elevator, there was a older lady there, and she asked if I was going to get my shots, so I got worried. Mistress said, almost crying "No...I have to put her to sleep."

The lady said, in kind of a snotty voice "Oh, well I didn't know."

We found Older Mistress, got in her big car, and drove. I sang all the way there. This time, OM didn't tell me to shut up.

When we got there, OM took me out of my jail, and a minute later, we were led to a room with one long table and a counter.

OM put me on the counter, I tried to jump off, but they wouldn't let me.

Some lady put a towel on the table. OM held me for a while, Mistress petted me and talked to me. Then the lady came back and they talked about human stuff like ashes and pawprints and money. Then she told them how I would make my final trip.

then she went away. Mistress held me and I squirmed some more, so she put me on the table, and right away, I pooped on it!

They cleaned it up and later, another white coat lady put another, not so comfortable towel on the table.

I thought I would poop again, but it landed on the floor!

I got lots of pets and hugs and they talked to me. But why couldn't I be home? We could do this at home!

After the longest 45 minutes of my life, I think, the vet that Squeakers used to see, the one she called "Dr. Frizzhead, with the voice like Mickey Mouse" came in.

Oh oh....here I go!

After they talked....wow, they do a LOT of talking! Some other lady came in and shaved the hair off my back leg???>

I was NOT happy about that! I hissed and almost bit OM!

Then they stuck this needle in and they had me lie down. Mistress and Older Mistress petted me and talked really sweet to me. I could see tears coming out of both their eyes. Why? I was going someplace so furry nice!

The last face I saw was Mistress', to her request, that's what we agreed on, so she told Dr. Frizzhead that she wanted the last thing that I see to be her face.

I was being petted by Mistress and then Dr. Frizzhead (Dr. Trombley) gave Mistress a hug and Mistress was upset, but not as upset as she thought she'd be, since she saw that vision and I told her I'd be okay. (that was a few days before the day I left for the Bridge, see diary entry below.)

Now I am nice and healthy, playing with a lot of kitties and dogs too, just waiting for my human, hoping that she will get a new kitty in a while to fill that empty space that I left, in her home and in her heart.

She said that she went to OM's house that day after I left, and when she came home, it was so weird coming home to a home without a kitty. She didn't have time to take up the litterbox, food dishes, toys and my bed, so she had to do that, the place looked just like it did when I was living there. Now, the only things that are out that were mine are my kitty toys.

MOL, maybe she wants to play with them!

Visions of the Future

This is what happened:

I told Mistress to lie down and close her eyes. Pay no mind to the TV or anything else. Finally, she did.

She usually does some breathing exercises to relax, but she didn't need those today.

First, she saw my right eye. then my whole face, surrounded in white, standing on a gold bridge.

After I told her Don't cry, Mistress, I am happy, and this is just a vision of what will possibly be, I am, and will always be with you" she saw Squeakers, and then came Tino, the Maltese dog from her childhood.

Wonder where the kittens, Scooter and Munchie were?? Probably off playing somewhere.

Squeakers was up higher than Tino, she was up flitting her wings around or something, so she put a halo on me.

Thanks Squeaks, I needed that!

Tino, wagging his little white Maltese tail the whole time, fitted me with a set of beautiful white wings that were kinda too big for me, but he told me not to worry, so I won't.

When I looked at a cloud, I saw a reflection of...ME!

But this time, I had no gash on my forehead, my cheeks were nice and full again, my fur was soft and plentiful, and no bones were at all visible!! It was ME!!

Squeakers gave me a light shove...I gave her a dirty look.

She just laughed and said that it was time to go and so I followed her and Tino across the bridge. When we got to the end, there were many cats and dogs there to greet me. One dog had so much hair, I couldn't even see her face!

Towards the end of that vision, since Mistress did what I wanted her to, I jumped up on her lap, and she was surprised almost totally out of her reverie, because I hadn't jumped up on the couch in a couple weeks, and I hadn't jumped directly on her lap in at least a couple months.

I then started to cheekrub and headbonk her hands and face. She asked me if I would knead....hmmmm, not now.

Then the phone rang :( Bringing her back to Earth. I stayed on the arm of the couch for awhile, then she got up, and I jumped down. But I jumped back up on her lap when she sat down again :)

Blood, Taxi Rides and Cancer. What Else??

So, I don't know what happened, but last night, I was doing what I usually do, sleep, eat, walk around. When all of a sudden, goo, red goo no less, started dripping from my forehead!

Eeeeuuuuuwwww!!

I don't know what I did to deserve that!

Now, I'm not that fastidious about cleaning, just like Mistress, but when there is red goo on my head...I WANNA GET IT OFF!

So I started licking my paw and cleaning it, and it tasted like...blood! I haven't bled that much, that I can remember before, but it had that distinctive taste of that stuff that came outta my nose!

Mistress looked at me, asked me to come closer and OMG! I thought I was freaking out! She went nuts! She ran and grabbed paper towels, tissue, gauzes, and lifted me up and tried to wipe it clean.

But, I wanna do it! I didn't want her pressing tissues and gauzes on my head! Owie!

Well, after one gauze pad and one paper towel, it stopped. Then, whaddya know, it started up again!

Then it stopped after more paper towels were filled up. After all that, you won't believe this, I actually wanted to eat!

Mistress was going nuts, she didn't know if I gauged my head on something or what. It was by then 9 P.M. The vet was closed, her mom wasn't home and we couldn't get to the emergency vet, which was too far away.

But the blood stopped.

Then this morning, she looked at my head again, and it seemed just kinda ooky, dried blood on my gorgeous fur!

So she left for awhile. When she came home, it was the same. Then all of a sudden, the floodgates, or should I say "bloodgates" opened up again and it really started bleeding. So Mistress called the vet.

Her mom wasn't home, and Mistress can't drive, so she actually called a cab! I think it was first, and only cab ride!

I wasn't worried til she got the carrier out, but I went in without a fight. actually I wanted that blood to stop too, and if those white coats know how to stop it...well, I guess I have to go.

We got into a car, nothing like Older Mistress' car. and some guy was talking really weird. It sounded like people talk, but Mistress had a hard time understanding him too.

We got there, and of course, I meowed all the way. I saw Dr. Kat, the one I saw months ago.

She weighed me and I lost A POUND AND A HALF SINCE JUNE!!!!!

I don't know what that means, but it was freaking Mistress and Dr. Kat out as much as my bleeding head! So it must not be good.

Then Dr. Kat took me away from Mistress, into another room. It seemed to take forever for them to find out what all that blood was about, I mean, I look like I could be in some kinda horror movie!

Dr. Kat and I came back, she set me on the floor, and I went around cheekrubbing my carrier.

Dr. Kat told Mistress I have some kind of "head cancer??" She said it was some kinda nasal cancer thing, but the first thing she said was "head" cancer. Hmmm...

She said that in June, when they took the x-rays, it was too small to see. Hmmmm.....

She also said that I could live up to six months, or less than two weeks....OH NO!!!

She also said that the reason for the bleeding was that my nose was so stuffed up and I probably had a headache...though I don't remember that....that there was a lot of tension in my head and the cancer or whatever, just blew and caused all that blood and she said it probably won't be the last time.

OH NO! I look like the Night of the Living Dead! Oops, no pun intended.

After I got cleaned up a little (ahh, that felt good!) I was given a shot or two, then back in the carrier.

We waited for awhile, and another cab with another guy who didn't speak very good English, finally picked us up. This guy was more friendly. He said "Your cat cry?" Mistress told him why, then he wanted to get into Mistress' past....Hmmm.... He started asking her how long I've been with her, how long she's lived here, where she lived before. Hmmmm... Oh well.

We got home and out of my jail. I don't know how long I'm gonna have with Mistress though!

and it's so hard cuz Christmas is coming and Squeakers went to the Bridge at this time of year. I don't wanna ruin Mistress and Older Mistress' holiday season! Dr. Kat said that I wasn't in pain, but Mistress is concerned about the blood and my weight, plus she doesn't want me to just "leave" at home when her Mom's out of town so no one could drive us to that last vet visit.

So much to go through. I have a feeling, though, that I'm really gonna be pampurred these next couple weeks. Squeakers, better start making a space for me....