March 1st 2011 4:46 pm
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There have been enough "things" that are not positive in this month to cause it to be known to my Earth family as "Pre-April" Oh, to be sure, there have been some wonderfully memorable moments in this month too, but I imagine one can not accumulate a human "lifetime" of experiences without lingering *wounds.*
Perhaps if not so many "un" days were grouped together under one monthly calendar heading. Perhaps if Spring and the bursting forth of re-newed life were viewed with Angelic eyes and not from human sight/perspective, things could be different.
I've scented the sighs of my family on the wind. Saw the glistening of their tears. Heard their wistful memories and talk of me.
I am pleased though when my life is recalled as a life of Love, of tenderness, of hope, of rescue and of happiness. You were my hope and my deliverance.
I was truly happy to be part of your family and you truly treated me, not as an "animal" but as an equal. I was family, even though I walked on four legs and wore my own luxurious fur coat. I am thankful for your intervention into my life. We were all "bettered" for the crossing of our paths. I came "out of my shell" for you, because you were worthy.
Because, I could trust you and feel safe with you.
I smile an Angelic smile to see you hug and kiss Gabby, worry over, move to heal and help Sweets through her recovery. Even Nuk (who is as much a "thorn" as any rose has ever grown from her stem) needs you.
Our familial chain is missing a link, it's true.... but I am and will always be as near as your heart, as your memories of me. Remember me with love, because that is how I remember YOU!
May every word you have ever spoken to console a family, wrap around you tonight and comfort you in the same way as a warm cloak. When you reached out and touched another's heart with your kindness, it was really me pawing and touching them, through you. As you helped heal another's heart, I too, helped heal yours.
Stay true! You are and will always be my Champions
September 28th 2010 10:15 am
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In any *relationship* (personal, occupational, consumer, or familial ) trust is integral. Trust, like respect is earned not ever demanded. Trust, if damaged can be repaired, but not easily and not quickly and not ever without consistency in action - words mean nothing in 'Trust.' The story of my life demonstrates this.
I had a home. I had a family. They told me that they "loved me." They told me that I was "safe and they would never harm me." I believed them. I still don't know what happened to change that, but one day they would no longer let me into their home, into their family. I was kicked at, struck by the same hands that had stroked me. I was run off and left to fend for myself. I was pregnant. I fended for myself as best as I could. I birthed my kittens and we were *caught* by some shelter people. They made sure that I had veterinary care and food and necessities. My kittens went to homes. I waited.
One day people came to the shelter. They looked at me, talked to me and left without me.
A few more days of such *visits* and then I was going home with them. "Home" ~ again to be part of a family and told that I was loved, safe and would never be harmed.
I was distrustful. I was fearful. I had heard these same words before and look what had happened. The actions had not matched the words that I had heard and I had been harmed anyway. These new people were patient. They were quiet. They did not force anything. Gradually, through consistency of action they gained my trust. I grew less and less fearful of being harmed. I never forgot the harms my first family put upon me, but slowly I learned to trust again.
As with any trust given and then lost - there were always small "seeds of doubt" Would the harm come and return some day? Would my tender trust be discarded carelessly again?
I am pleased to say that for all of my life with my second family, there never was a day that demonstrated that my trust had again been misplaced. In each day there were consistent actions that regained my trust. With each day of my life, my trust only grew and never shrank.
When a Trust is broken, it is only the actions of the ones seeking to be trusted that count. Words, do not matter.
August 8th 2010 3:50 pm
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Sweets' twin Ishtar first posted this Tag in honor of World Cat Day (which is TODAY ~ August 8)
This Tag is different though... It's a Tag for your humans to complete about you!
Even though I'm an Angel, I want to play too
WORLD CAT DAY-questionnaire
You know some people call us moody, stubborn, capricious or not willing to learn. what is your opinion about such cat prejudices?
Moody? - I would only have called you "moody" if not liking/fearing the sound of wind, rain, thunder, fireworks, qualifies as "moody."
Stubborn? - Again, this a prejudice that doesn't really apply to you - Once you understood you were safe, loved and put your trust in us, you were an absolute sweetheart.
Capricious? - This doesn't seem to apply to you either... You were a very *deliberate* cat.
I believe there was much thought put into your behaviour, into every action of yours. Much more *thought* than *whimsy.*
Unwilling to learn? - Not you, some human before us had taught you a lot of fear. In addition to your fear of "weather that you could hear" you had your distrust of men, your fear of a moving foot. (No kicking a crinkle ball towards you. You would see that raised and swinging foot as a *threat* and break my heart when you cowered.)
Tell me: how do you remember our first day together in our home?
We had been to your shelter two previous days, just visiting with you. On the Saturday that we picked you up, we did so on Chris' break. I got to spend 3 hours home alone with you before Chris even came home from work. You were nervous, you were shy. I sat in the bathroom and read to you from the Narnia Chronicles, just so that you could become accustomed to my voice and my presence and understand that i was no threat to you.
I wanted you to approach me on your terms.
You have taught me so much – but what did you learn from me?
You came with some very sweet, very important lessons. From you I learned the joy and importance of adopting an adult shelter cat. That first feeling of "It is not I who improved your life, but you who have improved mine" came from adopting you. In our short time together you showed me a depth of patience and forgiveness that I had rarely seen before. It took some time to earn your trust, to have you move past the fact that people had previously hurt you. For a cat who was scared of so many things, you understood that your present was not your past. Once we had earned your trust you opened your heart and loved us back with your whole being. All of these behaviours are lessons from you that I will try for the rest of my life to remember and model.
Have you ever wished – even for a second – that i was someone else?
No! Never! - I knew exactly *who* you were and what your issues were, when we adopted you.
What if we'd change bodies for a day?
I wonder if I would have been able to stop grooming myself! You had the softest fur of any short haired cat i have ever touched! I hate to think though, how scary such a change, suddenly finding yourself in a human body, would have been for you.
Could you name those of my habits you would not want to miss?
I can not name, I can only simply say that is was "everything you did." I am really heartbroken to say that I somewhat took you for granted.
I (wrongly) expected that we would have many more years together than we did. Once you were gone, it was so painfully apparent just how many little things that made up a single day of mine were uniquely yours. Once you were gone, I ached for each of the ways that you made your presence and love known throughout our day and I missed you terribly at each of those moments. It hurt horribly in the times when through your absence I would notice that there was no longer any *you* enriching that moment with your unique "Taagness."
If you want to add another "Lesson" that you have taught me, it would be that "Life is short, cherish each day for the gift it is, for we never know what the next day might bring."
Let's imagine we could go back in time – how would you estimate the probability that you would adopt me again?
100% yes. You were "planned" - We knew *who* you were, and we wanted to give you a safe, stable, loving home.
Just one last question: which big cats do you like best?
I have always love the Tigers.
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