August 6th 2009 4:51 pm
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Today was a Thursday. Thurdays are good days.
Today, like any Thursday, I woke Girl up at an obnoxious hour, just for fun. Following the breakfast she dutifully provided, I chased my little brother around the house for a while. Because Girl works from home on Thursdays, I obtained all the attention and brushing I could ever want. At five o'clock, I settled into my very favorite chair for my evening nap.
It was a good day.
Girl, waited until I was nearly nodding-off, and nabbed me! She tossed me violently (it's true I tell you! She turned into an evil demon-Girl!) into the dreaded "Pet Taxi" and swept out the door! This could mean only one thing! The VET! I promptly began to howl and hiss and shake the carrier! Demon-Girl would not take me without a fight!!
Upon arrival at the dread NAMC Vet, an evil blond minion, which girl called a vet tech, ushered us into a secure room, where they could torture me away from the eyes of witnesses!
They released me from my Pet Taxi/Prison and placed me on a scale. Comment on MY weight, will you evil Vet Minion?! Well then, you will never get your scale back! I kept it. Refused to move from it and swatted her hand with my sadly-claw-free paw. She wisely backed down.
Next, a man entered the room. I have liked every man I've ever met. Father played games with me when I was little. Fiance treats me, as he should, like a queen. Neighbor Boy lets me sit on his lap, even though he is horribly allergic to me. But THIS man? I did. not. like.
Unfortunately, he must have sensed my seething rage. Don't know if it was the hissing, the yowling or the puffy tail that tipped him off....
Before I could sink my teeth into his no doubt tasty flesh, he squinted at me and said "I don't trust you."
He sent his Minion to fetch him a towel. Who knew an innocent towel could become an instrument of torture! He walked behind me while the Vet Minion held my gaze. Instead of guarding my flank, as a servant should, Girl allowed the Evil One to toss the towel over my head! Oh the indignity!
I couldn't see!
I felt hands on me!
But the Evil one grabbed the scruff of my neck and handed me off to the Vet Minion.
Next he jabbed me in the leg (He nearly chopped it off, I'm certain!) not once, but twice!
I gave a mighty lunge! Freeeeeedooooom!!!
I hid under a table and Girl kept trying to talk to me. Traitor. I ignored her. Once again, the wily Evil Vet-Man managed to blind me and grab me.
He jabbed me a THIRD time (he will pay, I swear it!) and I finally managed to retreat to my Pet Prison.
Shortly thereafter, Girl and I arrived home. She tried to ply me with treats and a good brushing. But I plan to hate her for days. Weeks maybe.
What a waste of a perfectly good Thursday.
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Oh Starbursts! I am so sorry it upsets you so much. Mommy took me to the vet on Wednesday and I purred the whole time! Vet lady even had to run the water to make me stop purring so she could hear my heart. But then she gave me snuggles and kisses to apologize after she stuck me with the needles. You should try that some time 'cause you gets lots of extra snuggles that way and nobody wants to let you go to give the other ladies a turn at cuddles. PS. I am Allie's newest baby sister (just so you can know who I am)