January 17th 2009 8:47 pm
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yesterday i woke up and keeping with my normal routine, fed my five kitties. this morning i fed only four. i had my cereal, and Donovan was not sitting beside me wating for my empty bowl so he could finish off the traces of milk I left behind. he wasn't sitting in the corner behind the door in his usual spot waiting for breakfast. he wasn't sitting on the kitchen table watching me and waiting for me to put my forehead against his and tell him i love him.
it's surreal, his being gone. i still can't wrap my mind around it. he needed me, and i'm grateful for the privelige of having him for most of his short life. someone else adopted him, returned him, and something made me ask about fostering a kitty that day. "take oreo, he hates it here!" who names a solid black cat Oreo? so i took him home, to what i thought would be his temporary home... and spent a few weekends shuttling him back and forth to and from adoption hours. he would meow all the way there, and on the way home he was quiet. like he knew his ordeal was over and he could relax. then one day it occurred to be that i didn't want anyone else to have him. he was already mine. had i not done this, who knows what his life would have been like for the last few years. so this morning Donovan and i took our last ride together, though technically he was already gone. i drove him to the vet for cremation.
i miss him, and will continue to do so. he was an excellent kitty, and i am still trying to accept that he is really gone. i will always love him, and he will be in my heart forever.
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