Warm Weather Brings Out The Sticky Little People

It must be something to do with the changing of the weather from cold to almost warm. I can’t think of any other reason for there to be so many new Sticky Little People running and crawling around outside. No matter what window I look out, there they are, going off at full tilt, making far too much noise for respectable creatures. One can only hope that with time, they slow down and learn to be quieter. We felines need sleep and with the loon leaving the windows open, this is damn difficult.

Though it is kind of neat when one of the new ones learns to say my name...not that I pay any attention to that kind of thing.

Pork - The Other White Meat

Last night my peeps cooked their food out in the back yard—don’t ask me why, that’s just asking for the birds to poop on it—and it smelled really good. I mean really good. But did I get any, even after being very good and patient while they ate? Hell no! All I got was this lame explanation for not sharing : “I don’t think kitties can have pork.”

I don’t know what “pork” is, but it smelled good enough for me to eat, so why not at least let me try it? You let me eat fish and chicken and turkey, why not pork??? They’re all dead things, aren’t they?

On the plus side, the MAN did give me treats early this morning. He felt bad because he kicked me in the keister while trying to walk through the dark. He could have turned a light on, but no…he just wanders through the dark, waiting for a cat keister to kick.

It all worked out. He gave me food, so I wasn’t starving ten minutes after he left the house, and I didn’t have to wake the loon before she was ready to get up. She was happy, and even came downstairs to feed us the good stuff before she went upstairs to shower.

Still…I wanted that pork last night. And since I didn’t get it, I had to head-butt her awake this morning.

That’s only fair.

It stinks up in there...

Ok.

No matter what he claims, I did not stick my tongue up the MAN's nose this morning.

Not intentionally, anyway.

Mine, mine, mine!

Let’s get something straight:

If it’s on the floor, it’s mine.
If you drop it, it’s mine.
If it’s on the table and you walk away from it, it’s mine.
If it’s on the counter and you’re not looking, it’s mine.
In fact, if it’s in your hand and I can get to it, it’s mine.

Got it?

Mmmmmmmm....HEAT!

There are places in the house where warm air comes out of the wall right by the floor. There's one in the room where the Sticky Little People stayed, and one in the room where the People sleep--and today the human loon took my basket with the comfy pillow from its' cold spot downstairs, and brought it upstairs to put it right in front of the rushing warm air for me. Now not only do I have my perpetual spot of sunshine, but I have it plus a cushy, comfy bed in which to enjoy it.

Oh yea, I be stylin'...

Morning 'musings...

One of the things I have fun with most mornings is knocking the human loon's glasses off the nightstand. It’s not that I want to play with them, but she hates it, and that amuses me.

I also like crawling onto her lap, and stretching up like I’m going to give her a kitty kiss. If I time it just right, I can smear my nose across her glasses while they’re on her face, and she really hates that. And that amuses me.

But lately, she’s not wearing them. Most of the time they’re next to the bathroom sink, where it’s not nearly as much fun to whack at them or drag my nose across them. Come to think of it, the MAN isn’t wearing his either, not at all. If he lost them, he’s going to be in a lot of trouble. And I want to be there when he is. That will amuse me, too.

It’s just not as much fun trying to run boogers onto the loon's face without those glasses—she usually stops me. And that doesn’t amuse me one bit.

Hot Chocolate

The human loon has been drinking this stuff she calls “hot chocolate.” It smells pretty good, but she won’t let me get so much as a taste of it. There’s all these excuses: “You’ll burn your tongue. It’s not cat food. Kitties can’t have anything chocolate.”

Just be honest with me, will you? You won’t let me taste it because you just don’t want to share. Don’t pretend it has anything to do with trying to do what’s right for me; you have something good, and you want it all for yourself.

I’m not stupid. Hey, I might not even like it, but I should at least get the chance to find out.

I’d let you have a taste of my food, it you asked.

Really I would.

In fact, if you go in the kitchen, you can lick my plate right now.

The Sky Is Falling

The sky has been falling all over the place, in huge white chunks that have pretty much covered everything outside. I’ve given up trying to warn the peeps, because they just don’t seem to care about it.

Today, though, the MAN went outside and scooped up a handful of the stuff, and brought it inside to show to me. Like I wasn’t already a little freaked out about the whole thing! But he held it out to me, and I sniffed for a few seconds, pretending I didn’t give a damn, but you know what?

The sky is freaking cold!

Kind of makes you wonder why the birds bother flying through it.

Clearing The Air...

What’s the point of having a tree in the house if you’re not allowed to climb it? I mean, come on.

Every cat needs a high perch like this to oversee all his peeps.

And while we are clearing the air...

Yes, that box of tissue did look a lot like a toy to me. Problem with that?

If you go into the bathroom, we'll be having the same discussion about toilet paper.

All I Want For Christmas...

Christmas is coming soon.

Now, I don't know what exactly what this all entails, but the human loon said it is and is very excited; and then said that I need to start thinking about what I want.

I want Cheetos on demand and an endless stream of kitty crack.

Haven't I established that like a million times already?