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Marching to the Beat of My Own Drum

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Onesies to the Rescue. Again!

January 16th 2012 5:42 pm
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I don’t like this colder weather. My brother Elvin says it is “winter.” I don’t think I’m going to be very good friends with winter. My sisters Hilda and Hetty Miep don’t like it much either. They both like to perch over the heating vents or in sun spots as much as possible. I’ve found an even better spot: on top of the dvr (which is always warm). My humans don’t really like this because (a) it’s a bit of a jump down for me, (b) I always mess up the dvds by the machine, and (c) they’re afraid it might get clogged with cat hair. My female human suggested bringing out one of my old post-amputation onesies to see if that would help warm me up. My male human thought it was a bad idea and that I’d hate it. Finally, he said, “Okay, grab a onesie.”

And you know what? As usual, the female human was right. After she put the onesie on me, I was so happy to be a little warmer that I did happy rolls on my back and didn’t get back on the dvr! My female human posted a new photo of me in my onesie snuggling with my sister Sally.


Five Lives

December 21st 2011 12:09 pm
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My humans say I lost another life last night and am now down to five lives.

When my male human got up from sitting in one of the recliners, he looked underneath the chair before shutting the leg rest. Sally was under there, so the humans made her get out. They didn’t see me sneak in the side while she was getting out, though.

A few minutes later, my male human was looking for me and couldn’t find me. He called my name around the chair and I chirped. He yelled, “I knew it! Artie’s inside the chair!”

The humans had to turn the chair on its side and then my male human dragged me out. It was so much fun—I want to do it again!

Then later I decided it would be fun to play up on the dryer. I was very quiet and stealthlike when I jumped up on the dryer but somehow my female human still knew. She said, “I hope that’s not what I think it is.” Then I decided I didn’t want to be up on that dryer anymore. There wasn’t anything fun to play with up there. So I meowed and meowed for hours (okay, maybe two seconds) before my female human ran over and rescued me.


Whoopee Cushion

December 14th 2011 8:42 am
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My kittens are be growing up. Now I can sit back and enjoy the hijinks.

About a week ago, our male human (nickname: the Breaker) dropped an entire container of blueberries. He thought he’d picked them all up, but my kittens had packed their cheeks full like squirrels and hid the blueberries. The kittens would randomly get a blueberry out to play soccer with. The female human would find them after they’d split open and shriveled. And every single time that she would first see a shriveled blueberry, she would think it was a kitten turd that Jack had dug out of their litter box again.

Fast forward a week: the female human sat down on the couch for a good hour. After getting up, she saw a squashed blueberry where she’d been sitting. That’s right: my kittens planted a whoopee cushion for her. It worked beautifully too: got all over her shirt and pants. Luckily, the couch is red and most of the stain came out once the female human scrubbed it for a hundred gazillion hours.

Jack’s latest fun game is to get the toilet paper, shred it (and get the tp in his tail), then drag it all over the house. For some reason, the bathroom door is always closed now. Except when the male human forgets to closet it. Which is often.

The other night, the male human was in the bathroom and the female human observed Sally sneak up to the door. As usual, Jack was right behind her (peeking over her shoulder). Then they acted as a battering ram. Sally planted her paws on the door and it flew open. Overheard from the bathroom: “Dammit, kittens!”

I’m just so darn proud of my kittens.



December 1st 2011 11:50 am
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I love both of MY kittens, but I especially love my Mini-Me. I could sit for hours just cleaning Jack. The other night, I cleaned him for 20 minutes! My humans say the crazy part is that Jack purrs while I’m cleaning him. Of course he does! It’s like a massage.

Plus, Jack doesn’t mind when I switch from cleaning him to trying to fit his entire head in my mouth or chomping on his neck. He knows that wrestling is fun!


We Rule This House!

November 10th 2011 1:44 pm
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Now that my kittens are allowed out of their room (except at night or when the humans are gone), I have playmates whenever I want. Except for one time (when Hetty Miep set me up to look bad in front of the humans), I haven’t caped any of my siblings!

The kittens love to wrestle and run and pounce. They know how to have fun!

Elvin and Hilda don’t mind the kittens. Hilda likes to watch them and will occasionally try to clean one of them (although it is MY job to clean my little brother so his fur will get as silky as mine). Mostly, though, the older cats are happy to have the back room (ie, kitten’s room) available to lounge in again. The back room is the warmest room of the house and has some wonderful sun spots.

My human took a picture of me cleaning my kittens. It’s a little blurry because my head was moving so much, but we’re still pretty cute.



October 26th 2011 12:24 pm
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I’m having the best time of my life--I finally have siblings that love to play, play, play with me! My humans were very happy when they finally introduced us: I walked in and stared at them for about four seconds; grabbed Jack’s head and cleaned it for another 10 seconds; and then wrestled with him. I’ve never hissed or growled at my kittens. I love them! They’re the best toys my humans have ever got for me. The part that’s not fair is that I’m not allowed to play with them anytime I want. *pouts*

Something about the kittens having to take special medicine for their diarrhea and we can’t use each other’s litter boxes. I can’t wait until we get to play whenever we want. My other siblings seem a lot happier now that I’m not caping them as much either.

Oh, I almost forgot. In other news: my female human wrote an article about my amputation for the IBD site run by Alex’s mom.


New Siblings!

October 11th 2011 7:21 pm
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My new siblings are home for good. I've been batting at them under the door (sometimes I switch sides to bat at them with my stump). I even stole their crinkly ball when it got too close to the door. My female human returned it to them, though. Drats!

My male human says my sister Sally likes chewing on cardboard too! I guess she takes after her big brother. *puffs up chest*


Independence & BIG News!

October 10th 2011 7:29 pm
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You’d never know that had to go the ER clinic last Friday night—I’m back to my usual naughty antics! For the first time since my humans quit locking me up at night, I didn’t sleep with them the other night. The next morning, my female human asked my male human why that was. He told her I’m getting independent. My female human seemed a little sad about that. She still likes to think of me as “Baby Artie.” *rolls eyes* So I went ahead and slept with my humans last night. “Baby Artie” doesn’t get in as much as “Big Boy Artie” when he tries to cape his sisters and brother.

Oh. Guess what? Guess what? I found out why I’m not allowed in my old kitten room anymore. *drum roll* I’m getting new siblings! That’s right—not one but two new kittens! My female human was at the vet clinic last week picking up medicine for Elvin when she saw a sign that one of the vet techs needed a home for two foster kittens (brother and sister from the same litter) that are 12 weeks old. My female human has wanted to get me a younger companion who isn’t as grumpy as my older siblings. The boy is a black and white (a third member for our black & whites--a very exclusive club in the house that you can only get into by being all black and white). The girl is an orange tabby! Their foster mom named them Jack and Sally (from The Nightmare Before Christmas). The humans plan to keep the names. Sally is the braver of the two; Jack likes to stay back and let her do the exploring for them. They love to cuddle with each other. It took a lot of convincing of the male human, but he finally agreed it would be sad to split up the kittens.

The humans brought the kittens home Friday night (the same night as my dental floss incident). They became worried because the kittens were vomiting, had diarrhea, and wouldn’t eat (the humans tried wet food, different dry foods, baby food, and even tuna). Finally, one of the kittens threw up a roundworm (which can cause all of the problems they were having). Their foster mom thought it would be best for the kittens to go back to her house until they were better, so she picked them back up Sunday. Well, wouldn’t you know it, as soon as they got back to their foster home, they ran over and started eating some of her adult cats’ food. The one thing the humans didn’t try: adult cat food! Their foster mom called today and said she wanted to observe them for one more day but they should be ready to pick up tomorrow. I can’t wait! While they were in the kitten room, I repeatedly wriggled my arm under the door (sometimes just my stump when I forgot I was rolled on my wrong side) and made monkey grunts. It will be so wonderful to have other kittens to play with! My female human says it will be at least another week until we have contact: she wants to make sure the dewormer has resolved all problems and they still need to have their FELV/FIV tests when they get another round of vaccinations next Monday. Then my humans plan a slooooow introduction process. I can’t wait!!


Emergency Clinic

October 8th 2011 9:57 am
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Well, yesterday was certainly a day of excitement. First, something was going on in the room that I stayed in when I was first adopted. Since then, the door has been shut and my brother Elvin keeps saying he smells kitten food. Oh, I’d like some kitten food. Yes, please.

Then last night, I was helping my male human get ready for bed. I tried to show him proper flossing technique but he freaked out and started shouting for my female human. They said it was very, very bad that I ate about 2 feet of dental floss but they seemed more scared than mad at me. Then I had to go on an hour car ride to an emergency vet clinic. I can’t remember too much more about what happened when I was there, other than they gave me a shot of something that made me kinda sleepy and have to throw up. Everyone seemed really happy when I threw up my dinner and some dental floss. Around 1:30 am, we all made it back home and went straight to bed.

And this is only the beginning of the weekend!

Note from female human:

We were very lucky to get Artie to the vet within an hour after he had ingested the dental floss. If it had been long enough for it to pass through his system, the vet would have advised using an endoscope to locate the floss and Artie would probably need surgery to remove the floss. I’m sure most Catsters know this already but string and dental floss are VERY dangerous if ingested by cats (they can wrap around/cut through internal organs). Luckily my husband saw Artie ingest the floss and remembered my repeated warnings about the dangers of dental floss. A very scary experience, though.

I think Artie’s down to 6 lives (minus one for whatever damaged his arm before we adopted him; minus one for the amputation; and minus one for ingesting dental floss).


Big Boy Day!

August 25th 2011 1:40 pm
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Thank you for all of the wonderful comments and rosettes! My humans have been saying that today is my Big Boy day!

At first I thought this was a good thing—that it meant more food. But I didn’t get any extra food at breakfast! *pouts* Something about needing to maintain my figure because I'm a tripod. And then I started thinking about all those times Hetty Miep gets too smacky with me (which is ALL the time); my female human tells her, “Hetty, no—he’s just a baby!” Well, if I’m a big boy now, does that mean Hetty Miep can smack me around then?

At lunch, I made sure to prove to my pawrents that I’m not ready to be a Big Boy. I pushed both Elvin and Hilda out of the way of their food. And I made Elvin play rodeo with me after lunch until he was growling and hissing at the same time. My female human must have said, “Artie, no!” ten or twenty times today! I might be one now, but I’m no Big Boy.

I did get a new squeaker toy (raccoon) for my Big Boy Day, so I guess it’s been a pretty good day!

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