December 3rd 2012 6:35 am
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Dear diary--
Confound it. Well, I like to chew artificial plants and those accessories they put in with 'em, those stick like things and those foil-ish shiny things and the flashier the better, but my favorite is---artificial Christmas trees. Over at the other house I actually searched out the place where the tree was hidden and commenced chewing. Mommi leapt up and grabbed me and spoke sharply to me (I do not like this speaking sharply business. But she has never laid a hand on me). She only does it when I am doing something bad, it seems. Well, by bad I guess that means something that will hurt me, but Dad blame it, she is worried I will get a perforated ileum or a gastric perforation resulting in massive peritonitis, then I will suffer and die and she will never be the same, "and where would we all be then?" That last question is one I am not sure how to answer. Mommi is a worry-wort---but, actually, I've never seen the other kitties chew on plants. We have a big artificial plant in the front room at our new house, and Mommi has been keeping a rather sharp eye on me when I am in there....however, I like long pointy things like christmas needles and this plant has roundish leaves...purrhaps I will try it out. And none of yous, this means my uncle Opie Thunderbear, or my brother Freddy "the Sneef" Mercury, had better rat me out! *hmph* :)
Combaffled, (see Thunderspeaktionary),
Barney Joe