August 30th 2011 3:31 pm
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Now, one of us told you about Mom's work laying off about 100 people. Mom says it's really sad cause they had layoffs just three years ago and nobody has been hired back sense. All the people that got sent home had been there for 5 to 9 years. The company is union, so they go by seniority regardless of work skills or ethics. Mom doesn't like this part of the union at all. She says that's no way to run a business unless your shooting for running it into the ground. Mom said they bounced back last time and they will do it this time but it's going to be rough! Mom has been there for 13 years, so no worries here yet.
Okay here's the problem....
Mom's closest friend at work, Mariette, who got moved out of her job to fill a layoff spot, is mad at Mom. See unfortunately, Monday in the morning meeting Mom was told she's getting Mariette's old job. Mom had no idea she was going to be moved too, never the less into her girls job! Well, now Mariette is reflecting all her anger onto Mom and it hurts Mom but she understands. When Mom lost her dream job the same way three years ago, she blamed the last guy that was promoted into Quality Assurance. Now it wasn't his fault and she knew that, but she had to be mad at somebody for awhile to be able to cope. Mom just hopes Mariette comes around faster than she did. Mom wants to tell her she understands and that she can talk it out with her. After all Mom is in the same boat, learning a new job she doesn't want.
Here's the question..
How much space she I give her? For how long? She hasn't spoken to me sense she stood beside me in the meeting Monday. Mom had mentioned the problem to her lead man today, hoping he would casually mention to her that Mom didn't ask for the job and that she didn't know about the plans to put her in that position. But as usual, 1) he's a man, female feelings are useless in his eyes, even though he's better than some of the guys around there (yes, we have some male chauvinist pigs at work) and 2) he's management, he's not going to go out of his way unless he has too.
Mom tries to keep out of all work drama. And as you know, there's just some hate fueled dramas that has a larger than life gravitational pull that sucks everybody in. Mom tries to be Switzerland but it's hard, especially if people are getting personal. That's when Mom gets MAD.
But this drama, this is a completely different animal. This is heartbreak. Her and Mariette has been friends for 11 years and only once had a spat, and that was in the first few months they worked together. They have been through so much work stress together. Mom misses her already and it's only been two days.
Mariette's common law hubby works with them, should Mom talk to him? Don't worry Mariette isn't the jealous one and we are all like family anyway. Mom feels that if she knew Mom didn't back stab her or keep a secret from her than deep down she would know it's silly to be mad at Mom. And maybe will talk to her.
Mom keeps hearing from friends that Mariette is lonely and feels isolated in her new job. This breaks Mom's heart too.
BTW, Mariette is the one who has Griswold, the kit.
I would have mom talk to hubby, and explain it to him, and get him to talk to her friend. if he understands what this is doing to mom, and realizes it isn't mom's fault, peace may be made again. Purrs it all works out for mom. Friends getting mad at friends over something out of both their hands stinks. Daddy knows.
I agree with Blizz. As for how much time, normally I'd say a month, but you probably will not be working together for much longer, right?
They should have given Mariette a head's-up before announcing it to everyone.
Blizz, you are one wise,Catfather! Sounds good!
Good luck, hope you work things out.
OH Noe's more drama 'n kat fight's in da werksplace! Hummpft! Mom seen dat, all o' it! Time.. ur lookin' at a month or so, sounds like Mariette jus' need's time. I think her probably efen know's all dis down in her heart. What wif bein' furiends fur 11 yrs!?? Not ur fault 'n her know's dis. Mommy, it's da hurt. Time does heal. My mommy know's dis. Her went through some same stuff. It took her g/f maybe 4 weeks to start talkin' 'gin to her. Jus' know in ur heart, THINGS change. Companies do what dey gotta do to survive 'n dey don't care who dey hurt. Mom know's. Nobody want's to take anyone's job away. At least u have a job. Sigh. Mom don't come March. U will know what to do. Hang in, it's life.
Purrs 'n love,
Pee Ess, 'n I also agree wif Blizz.
I agree with Blizzard too. But if you see her, and the moment seems right, just tell her you miss her and that you don't want to lose her friendship over something that was out of your control. I hope things work out for your Mom and Mariette and I think they will, look how long they have been friends.
Your mom has gotten some good advice from Blizz & Milo. I think it'll take her a little time. Mariette is probably still dealing with what happened. She has to know that your mom didn't have anything to do with what happened. If the friendship is strong, somehow she and your mom will find a way to get work it out and get past this. Hugs and best wishes to your mom!
Another thought is that Mariette and Mom need to talk about this when the time is right.
I would try maybe talking to her hubby. Hope that your momma and her can still be friends!
Hi sweet kitty can your mom talk to her outside of the work place? Maybe after work in a public place where they can just talk like friends about all the stuff that is going on at work and at that time maybe your mom can tell her how much she misses her and wishes this had not happened to her?
sorry it so tough to have this kind of heart ache at work.
Purrs and lots of love to your mom.
your BFF callie
Sounds like effuryone gave you really good advice. It may take time for her to come around, but a gentle headbonk in a public place sounds like a really good idea.
Zoe; yur mom N her friend both be feelin like a hardware store nuts N bolts section coz ya both got screwed on this deal ...
purrsonalee even tho both mariette N her huzband be yur mom's friend, yur mom shuld confront mariette only
sinz yur mom dont what de husband will tell mariettte if ewe speek ta him furst.... ( second hand info haz never werked in trout towne coz sum thin always getz turned round or toll azz bakwerds; ) we bee goin with de notion of just plain tellin mariette how N what iz up
if mariette iz TROOLY a TROO friend, her will agree ta haza sit down, coffee break, take a lunch meet at pizza hut kinda get together....if mariette be samrt, her haz ta noe de crap that went down at werk iz KNOT yur mom's fault
if yur mom canna "talk" to her bout gettin together over de sit ewe way shun; her could leeves her a "hey we knead ta meet up" message or text ta get de ball rollin
yur mom can onlee go ta sew many lengths, then it will be up ta mariette to meet yur mom half way two...
if her ignorez yur mom's ree quests for a meet up, a chat, a get together ; if her is silly enuff ta think it iz yur mom's fault N knot de bosses and if her continmews ta give yur mom de brush off ore de cold shoulder; sadly then; her WAZ knot or IZ knot a troo friend ta start with
Hi Zoe, great advice here...if it was me, I would also be heartbroken but I would talk to my furriend directly outside of work, maybe go to dinner and talk like the furriends you are. Splain to her that you had no idea what was happening and that you've been there so you can empathize. Most important be sure she knows that when the time is right you'll be there for her, no pressure but you miss your furriendship.
I agree with Harley. What a difficult situation. Good luck!