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Diary of a Very Confused KitKat

I have a job.... but I think I was fired...

I HAVE A JOB! Not anymore, I was most probably fired.... I think I was fired. I'm sure that if I practise my Pig from New Guinea minding I'll get back into business, but The Pigs from New Guinea (yes there are two now!) left me...

In true story telling fashion, here are the charcters:
Pig from New Guinea #1 (known as Cinnamon... apparently. B1 as well :))
ME (Boo, if you didn't know you may be on the wrong page :P)
Pig from New Guinea #2 (known as Mocha, also known as B2)

Before I start Luna wants to make a point: Mummy and Sissy are just asking for me to eat them, Mocha and Cinnamon. Who calls prey after food?

Now, back on track, or the best track I can find:

Once upon a time.... there was a girl of 10. She had two cats, Luna and Boo. And a crazy dog (look him up on dogster) Scooter, and two small pigs from New Guinea. The pigs ate grass and in the garden there was grass galore so why not munch down in the back garden... they did.
One day the girl of 10, also now as Sissy, brang (brought, Boo. Not brang, she brought them.) May I just say that is the weirdest thing I have heard. She didn't 'brought' them. It's not like she went to Metro and just brought them, or did she? Continuing, them down with the taller girl, also known as Mummy. The pigs munched their grass but before they started I was called over.
"Would you mind doing us a favor?" B2 asked shyly, walking away from me.
"I'd love to." I answered, keeping my own distance. These things could have disease for all I know... or big teeth...
" Guard us. Look at those humans, one even jokes she may eats us. And that other big thing." B1 exclaimed, nodding her head to the unsuspecting humans.
"You mean the big fat black and white thing? Her names Luna." (WHAT!!! Once Mummy and Sissy are gone... oh just you wait) I stuttered. "I mean the skinny and most beautiful thing." (That's more like it)... between me and you, I'm still going with fat and black and white. (WHAT WAS THAT?) Nothing oh queen of all that is precious.. *wink wink, nudge, nudge*
Back to the story. I explained Luna and her 'cattiness' to the two small PNGs. "Never say I told you she was big and fat." (Bit late now).

I agreed to guard them and did so with all my might. I sat in front of the humans so they could not reach the sacred PNGs. I also squeezed in a bath while no one was looking. But I shouldn't have. The PNGs are more clever than most, i.e the big fat black and white, (I can still hear you) and so CInnamon ran one way and Mocha waited before running after her. The perfect escape plan.

Maybe next time they'll tell me before they run away.
Over and out,
Boo

P.S Mummy and Sissy caught them after much trouble with Cinnamon. Mocha didn't put up much of a fight.

My Tranquility Stump

Nope, you heard right, my tranquility stump. In Mummy's garden is the stump of a tree, how it got there no one knows (luna interjection: It was planted from a seed. Or a seed landed there.... wow she knows a lot) and no one knows why it was cut down (luna interjection: because we need sun, not trees. To tell the truth, that doesn't sound right.) but it has turned into my tranquility stump (luna interjection (AGAIN!): that poor stump.) okay, enough of luna interjections, she isn't a nice cat....

So, what do I do on a tranquility stump? Let my mind go blank (luna interjection: I'm sure that's impossible, Boo... Luna's right, it is hard to let my.... wait! WHAT?!) and then I think about food (LUNA AGAIN: how can your mind be blank and think? Actually, a bigger question, how can you think.) Now she is showing off her brilliance, just because I didn't graduate from Catvard like her (You didn't graduate from anywhere, Boo) and live here longer (You've still been "here" as long as I have, anyone who doesn't understand, we moved about a year ago) doesn't mean I ain't... okay now I've forgotten what this fight was about.

(There she goes again... daydreaming about a fat stump that sits in our garden, day and night.) At least I have something to treasure. (It's a stump, Boo. Two things a) it ain't moving anywhere and b) i treasure hundreds of things, the mouses I kill, though I usually give them to mum and-adding a third- c) you treasure a stump, that's very sad.) Bravo, Luna. You made everyone forget the story, even I did. (Again, that is not a hard task for you) -ignoring you- so now we are going to sign off.

Tranquility Stumps for Everyone,
Boo

(And me, the one who actually matters in this story, is also signing off. I'll see you all at MY diary. Luna)

HOORAY, HURRAH!

I'm a daily diary pick! Sing a song, dance around because this is my second time ever!
Head in the clouds,
feet on the ground!