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Whether you’re a Hello Kitty fan or have one on your gift list — or if you just delight in freaky Sanrio stuff — you’ll love today’s array of HK merchandise. If you’ve ever wondered if there’s anything Sanrio won’t slap Hello Kitty on, well, wonder no more. The answer is no.

Hello Kitty Tooth

Above, a Hello Kitty tooth. If you’re going through year-end open enrollment, you may want to search for dentists who will replace your teeth with Hello Kitty. Go ahead. Make that phone call.

[SOURCE: BlameItOnTheVoices.com]

Hello Kitty Retainer

You’ll never again have to worry about losing your retainer if you own this HK gem.

[SOURCE: kittyhell.com]

Hello Kitty Sphygmomanometer

Blood pressure is a key vital sign, and you’ll be checking yours twenty times a day with this Hello Kitty blood pressure gauge. Does your primary care physician have one?
[SOURCE: kittyhell.com]

Hello Kitty Boiled Egg Shaper

If you’re serious about bento, you probably already have one. The Hello Kitty Boiled Egg Shaper mooshes a warm boiled egg into a Hello Kitty shape in five short minutes. Just try to prove to me you can live without this!

[SOURCE: jlist.com]

Hello Kitty Toilet Seat

I haven’t yet seen this in Dwell or Architectural Digest, but it’s only a matter of time before this treasure in left up by Hello-Kitty-lovin’ men across the country.

[SOURCE: thisNext.com]

Hello Kitty Treats

You might think these are Hello Kitty lollipops or all-day suckers. Close, but no cigar. These festive packages contain prophylactics.

[SOURCE: weirdasiannews.com]

Hello Kitty Feminine Hygiene Products

If you don’t know whether you’re a crazy cat lady or not, check your bathroom closet. If this package is sitting in there, you have a terminal case of crazy-cat-lady syndrome.

Hello Kitty Underpants for Men

Wondering if your man is a Cat Guy?? If he’s wearing these, it’s a sure bet he is.

[SOURCE: DestroyHelloKitty]

Hello Kitty Pocket Wand

This one is only for the most fanatical of Hello Kitty fans.

[SOURCE: Eden Fantasies]

Hello Kitty Urinal Target

Eeuw. That’s it. Just “euww.”

[SOURCE: lucidsmind.com]