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Texts from Mittens: The Online Dating Edition

Stumpy secretly creates an online profile for Mittens, the Litter Genie won't grant wishes, and Drunk Patty's bras are on the loose. Mittens texts!

Angie Bailey  |  May 11th 2016

It has been a harrowing couple of weeks for our pal Mitty. His best friend Stumpy, a known ladies’ man, goes and creates an online dating profile for Mittens. Sure, he knows Mitty has a longtime girlfriend, but he feels the need to intervene because “tuxedos need many girlfriends.” Speak for yourself, Stumpy. Mitty doesn’t have the password and is already getting multiple emails from lady cats who’d like to make his acquaintance. He sure doesn’t want to get in trouble with Fiona, but there is this cute dilute calico.

Think that’s bad? Drunk Patty’s bras are on their way to attack Mittens, and Mom only wants to make jokes about it. Can you imagine? And the Litter Genie is not granting wishes. What’s up with that? Earl tries to help free the genie from the litter box clumps, but Mom intervenes. Again.

Sound intriguing? There’s lots more where that came from. Let’s check in with the most recent atrocities in Mittens’ world.




“Try and bury that one, sucker.”




“I must have that password!”




“You need many girlfriends. Can I have some of them?”