Confession: I Have a Really Bad Habit of Putting “Hats” on My Cats


I’ve always been a fan of the Stuff on My Cat site. I have no idea why placing random objects on top of felines is funny, but it is. To me, anyway. I sometimes create little “hats” for my cats. And by “create,” I mean find an object that I think would look hysterical on top of a kitty noggin and place it there.

I can only play “cat hats” when my kitties are pretty relaxed, otherwise they’d have none of my little stint as the Merry Millner. Cosmo and Saffy are usually willing models, so I decided to put together a virtual runway show of my unique creations, along with a description of events and situation to which the kitties might wear these attractive accessories.

1. Ol├®!

A nice, unbroken tortilla chip is always appropriate at Cinco de Mayo celebrations and quincea├▒eras. Sometimes cats enjoy wearing them when relaxing at home, wrapped up in a blanket like a burrito. You know, just to feel fancy and foreign.

2. Camo Couture

I don’t know about your cats, but mine love to watch squirrels, and nothing could improve the squirrel-watching festivities more than an up-close-and-personal experience with the bushy-tailed rodents. The squirrel hat would certainly provide just the camouflage to achieve that experience. The squirrels outside would see the hat and come closer to the window, ready to check out the new guy on the block. Meanwhile, kitty would get some major front-seat squirrel-cinema action.

3. Put this on your Mot├Ârhead

Where would a cat wear an Ace of Spades hat? To a Mot├Ârhead concert, of course. Who needs a tour shirt when you have this rock ‘n’ roll head-topper? Kitty, you just got carded!

4. Bandage (pronounced bahn-daaj)

This hat is full of fashion and function. I think cats would wear this little number on laundry day. Why? So when they tripped you while you’re carrying a full laundry basket, you’d have immediate first aid. Thank goodness for practical fashion!

5. No worries, I’m the new chef

A cat might wear this tidy little chef’s hat to a restaurant, in an effort to score some chow. She’d sneak into the kitchen, pretending to be the new chef, and then go to town on the plates of beef tenderloin.

6. The Waxl Rose

If a cat’s going to be away for a number of hours, he may find he needs a snack. Enter the Waxl Rose, a Q-tip “hat” embellished with fresh ear wax on both ends. It’s a fashion statement and a snack!

7. Swiss Miss

Nothing gussies up a look like a Ricola cough drop “hat.” The cat who wants the international flair when they’re out at a cough-ee shop will love this look.

8. Sealing the fashion deal

Forget Chanel and Versace, the small business-envelope hats are all the rage for cats strutting on the red carpet during the awards season. Designed after the envelopes that hold the winning nominee’s name, these hats are truly award-worthy. And when someone asks the cat who’s she’s wearing, she can proudly reply, “Mead.”

What kind of “hats” would your cat wear? Tell us in the comments!

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About the Author: Angie Bailey is an eternal optimist with an adoration of all things silly. Loves pre-adolescent boy humor, puns, making up parody songs, thinking about cats doing people things and The Smiths. Writes Catladyland, a cat humor blog, Texts from Mittens (birthed right here on Catster) and authored whiskerslist: the kitty classifieds, a silly book about cats wheeling and dealing online. Partner in a production company and writes and acts in comedy web series that features sketches and mockumentaries. Mother to two humans and three cats, all of which want her to make them food.

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