Texts From Mittens
Share this image

Texts from Mittens: The Thanksgiving Edition

Drunk Patty wants to roast Mittens, Grandma has demonic eggs, and Mom's a pervert. He texts!

Angie Bailey  |  Nov 23rd 2016


Thanksgiving is coming, and that usually means Mittens’ gravy excitement is escalating. This year, however, he has a major worry on his mind: that Drunk Patty is going to pop him into the oven and cook him like a Thanksgiving turkey. Mom says he’s reading into things, but he has proof! Friends, his tender haunches are certainly at risk.

Speaking of Thanksgiving, Grandma’s bringing some demonic eggs to dinner, and Mitty’s pretty sure he’ll become possessed. Because of course. Plus, Stumpy wants to celebrate the holiday with some special nip, but Mom wants to harsh Mittens’ mellow. Can’t our pal catch a break?

Oh, and guess what? Mom’s a total pervert. Not cool! At least there may be extra snuggles. And giblets.

Read on for more details surrounding Mittens’ Thanksgiving troubles.

mittens-turkey-1

mittens-stumpy-pariah

mittens cranky

“I fear for my tender haunches.”

mittens-turkey-2

mittens-fiona-autocorrect

fiona-cat-tree

“Clean me, big boy.”

mittens-turkey-3

mittens-deviled-eggs

drunk-patty-mittens-hand

“She’s trying to fatten me!”

mittens-turkey-4

mittens-giblets