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6 Surprising Things Our Cats Do When We Aren’t Home

Think your cats nap while you're away? Think again -- and check your cheesy snacks and DVR.

Angie Bailey  |  Jun 16th 2016


There’s no denying cats are smart — oftentimes smarter than us. Sure, they play the calm, cool, and collected card a lot of the time, but as soon as we leave our homes, they take full advantage of their intelligence, and some of the things they do would blow us away. I haven’t witnessed any of this activity; however, I’m 100 percent confident it happens. You should be, too. Just because … cats. Need more of a detailed explanation? Then move on, because this post is only for those of us who are willing to believe anything is possible, especially when it comes to the felines in our lives.

Here are five surprising things our kitties do when we aren’t home.

1. Binge-watch our DVR content and then smugly observe us viewing it later

"Yeah, this isn't gonna end well."

“Yeah, this isn’t gonna end well.” Photo via Flickr

Cats only have to see a piece of equipment used once or twice, and then they’re masters of its operation. Many of us have a love affair with our DVR and load it up with shows we don’t have time to watch when they’re broadcast, but look forward to bingeing at a later date.

Kitties know this about us and are always looking for ways to one-up the things we do. With that in mind, they’re all over our recorded television shows as soon as our car has hit the end of the driveway. They’ll binge the crap out of our buildup of Game of Thrones, The Voice, and Walking Dead. Then, when we have our bowl of popcorn and are ready to enjoy a full day of catch-up, they sit close by and smugly watch us because they already know what’s going to happen. They’re aware which character will bite the dust and which sad contestant America will vote off the competition. They don’t do anything with this information — it just makes them feel superior to know what happens before we do.

2. Steal one sock from a pair

"Low-hanging fruit."

“Low-hanging fruit.” Photo via Flickr

Every wonder where that one sock went? One word: cats. When they’re home alone, they go into “prank mode” and play jokes on the humans in their lives. My guess? One day we humans will each find a secret stash of single socks somewhere in our home. And our cats will act like they have no idea what we’re upset about. Typical.

3. Lick the cheesy powder from our snacks

"I want so much more."

“I want so much more.” Photo via Flickr

Our first mistake is giving them a taste of the mystery cheese-like coating that covers some of our favorite crunchy snacks. They don’t forget anything — especially if it involves a delicious bit. They watch where we store these yummy treats, file that information away, and then wait for us to leave the house. At the first available opportunity, they snag the bags and boxes of cheesy delights and spend hours licking the powdery coating from the pieces. They sometimes return the spitty, chesse-less nuggets and crackers to their respective containers, but other times they swat them underneath the fridge. This is why we occasionally find a disparity among the amount of flavor coating on our pieces of snack food. Mystery solved! Aren’t you glad to know that information? (Maybe not so much.)

4. Create instructional YouTube videos for other cats

"Just a little editing."

“Just a little editing.” Photo via Flickr

Instructional videos are all over YouTube. One can learn how to apply perfect cat-eye makeup or fix a toilet. Yes, I’ve watched both kinds of vids. And there’s everything in between. Everything! As if cats didn’t already own YouTube, they’d certainly take advantage of creating instructional videos to help their feline friends learn skills to thrive in the human world. Some of those titles would include:

  • How to Open Kitchen Cabinets With a Variety of Handles
  • How to Creatively Avoid Belly Rubs (with and without the use of claws)
  • How to Identify and Destroy Cheap Catnip Toys

 5. Pull our clothes off hangers, roll on them, and hang them back up

"That dress has my name written all over it."

“That dress has my name written all over it.” Photo via Flickr

Cats enjoy watching us have moments when we think we’ve completely lost our mind. One reason we hang our clothing on hangers is to keep our fuzzy kitties from rolling all over it. Heaven knows we have enough layers of cat hair on the pieces of clothing that’s not stored on hangers. We try, don’t we? Doesn’t matter. When cats have the run of the house, those suckers yank our nice dresses, coats, and trousers right from the hangers and then gleefully roll their furry bodies back and forth across the once-tidy fabric. Then — and don’t ask me how — they expertly hang those items back in their original spots in the closet.

Yeah, they have a few good laughs when they see us, usually in a hurry, pull our party dress from the hanger, only to find it soft and furry. I think they laugh at us a lot.

What surprising things do you think your cat does when you’re not home? Tell us in the comments!