Food tampering - again!

I'm really having a wonderful time in my new life. I feel great and run all over the place. Mom says I'll have to go back for another xray though - I still chew at my hip/tail and she wants to see if it's healed ok. I hope it has. It would be sad to lose my beautiful tail. It's long and thick, and I've carefully kept it clean. But if it's hurting, maybe it would be best to let it go. We'll see. That's not today.

What IS today is that Mom is tampering with my food again! First she took away my dry stuff, and now she's mixing raw food in with my Pro Plan! She puts in teeny-tiny pieces, like I won't notice. I do, of course. I've tried to go on strike, but you know how diets go: I get hungry and cave to temptation. It's really not bad tasting, but I can't tell her so. She's winning and I hate that. I like it much better when I win.

Here's my fear: so she adds this food in bigger and bigger amounts and phases out the cans. I guess I could live with that, at least I think so. But what happens when it's all raw and no Pro Plan? Will she stop buying it? The best thing about Pro Plan is that gravy - is that going to go away too? I couldn't bear life without that gravy. Why bother surviving a rottweiler attack if you're just going to get your gravy taken away???

She says the new food is much healthier. Bah. You should see what she eats - makes me look like an absolute health nut. And the cans are so, so expensive. If Shelley and I start eating real meat, Mom will be able to feed Byron, Shelley, Rumble, Lurch and me for the same amount she spends now on just Shelley's and my cans. I keep telling her to bring back the nice cheap kibble, but she won't. She says as expensive as the wet food is, it's still better than paying vet bills later. Whatever. She says I'll like the raw food better than anything once I get used to it. Right, like I'll ever like that drek. Not without gravy.

And how come she's not tormenting Frodo? Granted, Frodo was willing to convert to a premium canned food, and since she doesn't eat much it's ironically more affordable than ours. (I eat a LOT.) Plus Frodo hunts more than any of us, so she gets lots of raw food. But the fact remains that she gets to keep her canned food and we'll get ours taken away. Tell me what's fair in that. The only thing she'll lose is getting to clean up after Mom serves us. Mom dumps the food in the bowl, Byron licks the can top and Frodo cleans out the cans. It's a good system. Why fix what already works?

I have to admit, though, things are good. Last night I attacked Lurch and then *poof!* disappeared before he could lunge back. I still lie in the sink bowl (is Mom ever going to hook that thing up?), jump up on the fridge, hang out on the laundry piles, pop in and outside, and catch some mice. The other night Mom saw me jump a good two feet in the air to catch a moth, like a basketball player would! Too bad she didn't get a video of it - I was so uber-cool. And Mom's gotten pretty generous with treats, even though they're not "healthy." We go nuts for them, even Frodo The Elegant and Reserved. Mom shakes that bag and we come running from all corners of the earth. Oh, and all us cats (except Frodo) have conspired to act like Lurch and meow and nag for whatever we want. That's fun.

It's a nice home. I like it and have a good time. I just want my gravy.

Where did summer go?

Gosh, I can't believe it's been a whole season since I posted last. Guess I've been so busy enjoying my second life that it just flew by. After the Evil Ones left, I was finally able to convince Mom to let me out again. I'm ecstatic! EVERYTHING is fun again! I can run across the yard and right up a tree, then climb back down and run the other way. I go back in the house and come back out as often as Mom will tolerate. Since I'm incredibly happy and flirty, she mostly goes along with it. She calls me Supercat and says I'm so strong and she's so proud of me.

I have more energy than ever and seem to love my mom even more than before. When I was recovering and felt awful, Lurch was so nice to me and Mom loved on me so much that I really felt special. Now Lurch and I are still friends, for the most part. I'm the only one that will sleep in Mom's bed when he's there - I just warn him not to pounce me and he usually leaves me alone. Mom coaxes me under the covers when Lurch isn't there, but she warns me when he's coming and I come back out. Even if he's being good, it's too much to ask that he not pounce someone under the covers! I don't think I could resist either!

Mom started leaving the small door to the garage open - the one critters use, not the one the car uses. She wants us to have a place to go in bad weather. Now that it's getting colder, she'll put some old blankets and stuff on a table in there so we can keep warm. It's nice, and all of us outdoor adventurers can go in there without getting in each other's way. It was so hard for Mom to decide whether we could go out anymore, after what happened to Weeble and to me. But watching me become miserable inside and then so wonderfully happy outside finally convinced her. It expands our lives SO much that Mom can't take it away even with the dangers out there.

Zoom zoom!

I feel SO much better!!! I can hardly contain my energy - I feel like a kitten! I run all over the house, try to go outside, jump on things, chase the other cats, and want to play with Mom all the time. I flirt and try to get her to pet me all the time, too. Mom doesn't know why I came back as a Zoomie, but we're both just happy I came back at all!

Mom seldom gives me meds now. She checks my bladder (I hate that), and if it seems large she'll give me my pee pill. She also checks all the poop in the boxes, and if any are hard I get my stool softener. It's not fair because she doesn't know if it's MY poop that's hard or someone else's! But I only end up getting medicated once or twice a week, so I can't complain. Much.

My tail still bugs me though. It seems to be itching - probably just the healing kind of itch where it's broken.

The Evil Ones - the dog that attacked me, and his brother - are gone now! The tenant moved out June 1 and we're safe again. There might be another tenant in the future, but no more cat shredders! I like my pet dog, Byron, but not any others. Mom says a small dog or one that's proven cat-friendly would be ok.

I want to go outside!

I went to the vet last weekend. They took xrays. I hate xrays because they want me to lie still on a cold table. They have to hold me down because I struggle. The worst part was that the first xray had a problem with it and they had to take another. Mom laughed at that (the xray label was right over the bone they wanted to see). I did NOT think it was funny at ALL.

Anyway, the xrays show I am healing well and I don't have to see the doc again for six weeks. I'm running around now and want to start playing. Mom's not sure what to do about that since she doesn't want me pouncing or rolling around. But I have lots of energy I need to expend.

Most of all, I want to go OUT! It's nice out! The wind is warm, the sun is out - and at night it's still warm enough even for a naked kitty whose pants have been shaved off. Mom says I'm an idiot and pushes me away from the door. Is she going to keep me in forever? She says I couldn't even defend myself from a squirrel right now. Does that mean when I am squirrel-ready she'll let me out? Or cat-ready? Or rottweiler-ready? Ever?

They might still take my tail away. Hopefully not, if I can keep it clean and it doesn't develop any problems. If they did decide to amputate it, it would be tricky because the break is in an area with a lot of nerves. It's possible I could end up incontinent if the surgery didn't go perfectly (gasp!). Hmm... wonder if Mom would let me out then...

Great progress!

I'm feeling much better now! Mom says I still have a long way to go, but I can do so many things now that it's almost like being normal. Well, maybe not that good, but it wasn't long ago I couldn't even walk!

Now I walk, run a little (mostly to get away from taking meds), and can jump up to chair height. The cool thing is I can go up to my old eating spot on the kitchen table now (Mom has to keep our food away from my dog-bro). I just hop on the chair, up to the table, and voila! I feel so much happier up there and Mom can even see it.

The other thing I do is lie in the bathroom sink. It's not hooked up because it's new and Mom's lazy. Frodo started lying in it, and I like it too. Now I can go back up there again! Toilet seat -> tank -> sink (just a small step). Mom was almost in a panic the first time, but I just smiled proudly.

Mom knows there's a lot of healing power in happiness, so she tries to keep her fear under control and let me regulate my healing. She's just so afraid I'll fall. But I've been very careful so far!

I still hate my meds, but Mom's cut them down to once a day and I seem to be doing well. She wants to post a new pic of me, but I'm not sure I want a picture posted on the Internet of me with no pants on! :-O

Many, many thanks to my Catster friends for the purrs and POTP you've been sending!

Home and doing better!

I've been home now for two weeks and everyone says I'm doing really well! Mom put me in a cage and called it "cage rest" like it was some special assignment. I put an end to that by escaping every time she left the door open while she went to get meds. I also cried when I was in the cage. When Mom saw I was walking (!) she relented and promoted me to "room rest." She's so easy to manipulate.

During my escapes I went down to the basement, terrifying Mom in the process. She thought I couldn't handle stairs, bah. I also used Lurch's kitty stairs to climb up to the bed. We reached a compromise after awhile - I could roam the house if she could gate off the basement stairs. She left the kitty stairs by the bed because she was afraid I'd try to jump up and hurt myself. She also doesn't want me jumping down.

I *really* hate meds. Mom tortures me twice a day. She gives me pills and a liquid. I don't bite or scratch her. She thinks I'm good about taking them, but really I'm seething and plotting revenge. But at night I climb under the covers and sleep against her, which I never did before - it's comforting. It's also a subtle starting point for my revenge, since I sleep in the most inconvenient spot possible and she has to move around me. She tries not to disturb healthy sleeping cats - you think she'll ask me to move? Tee hee.

Every now and then she takes me back to the vet. At least the vet and Mom have stopped trying to wring me out like a towel. I can poop now and pee on my own. I've put 9 ounces back on and eat a lot.

I have to admit, Thing - I mean Lurch - has been a pretty nice brother through all this. The other cats stay away from me or hiss at me. I must smell funny, and I look funny shaved (Mom says I don't have any pants on!). But Lurch just lies nearby and keeps me company. He doesn't pounce me, even if he's lying in the doorway and I walk right by him. Maybe he's not so bad after all.

Almost went to the Bridge!!!

Wow, what a couple of weeks this has been! Last Tuesday was a beautiful night - warm and springlike. I went outside and hung around the patio. I was having a great time feeling the wind and rolling on the bricks.

Mom rents out the upstairs to a guy with two dogs. They never come into our part of the house, but they share the fenced-in patio and backyard with my dog-bro Byron. The rottweiler loves cats - roasted on a spit. He got hold of Rumble once, but that was because Rumble's an indoor cat who got outside and didn't know the escape routes from the patio. Thankfully he was ok, badly traumatized and with some bites, but they were not dangerous. Mom told the tenant he had to get rid of the dogs, but it kind of blew over and both she and the tenant took special care to keep us cats safe.

I, on the other hand, am wise to the outside, fast and knowledgeable about all the escape routes, so Mom worries less. On Tues the tenant wasn't even home when I went out. Mom didn't hear him come home and let his dogs out - and unfortunately neither did I. Somehow the rott got hold of me. Mom heard the ruckus and came running out, but I was already badly hurt. She stood over me and kept the dog at bay until the owner could come get him. It all happened in less than a minute.

I have two pelvic fractures, a dislocated tail, and bite wounds. The nerves to my hind legs, bladder and anus are also damaged. I went to the e-vet and stayed there four nights. They weren't sure I'd make it, but I did. Then on Sat Mom took me to our regular vet. It's Wed now and I want so much to come home, but I have to stay until Friday so Mom can be with me all day over the weekend. She visits me as often as she can and tells me to be strong and that she's proud of me for being such a fighter. She tries to be upbeat but cries sometimes too.

I won't eat on my own yet, but they are force-feeding me to keep my strength up. The vet gives me acupuncture, which helps with the pain and is supposed to help the nerves. Mom thinks he and his wife/partner are the greatest vets ever. I don't like them because they stick syringes and pills in my mouth, express my bladder and stick things up my rear. So I try to kick them, but it only makes them happy because my legs are strong. It makes me cranky to see them so cheerful. I am pulling myself around my cage, and they're happy about that too.

Obviously there's no question now about the rott having to leave, and soon! Mom's sorry because he's a good dog when he's not shredding cats, but tough luck. She says the dog is lucky she didn't have a baseball bat when he attacked me.

So two more days and I'll be able to come home. Hopefully by then I'll be eating and eliminating on my own. The vet says it could be as long as six months before the nerves fully regenerate. They will, though. I am a fighter!

A little better

Things have improved somewhat. The human caved on mealtimes. There's still no dry food though.

I have discovered Frodo's bed. It's the new sink in the bathroom. The human doesn't have it hooked up yet (newly remodeled bathroom and lazy human), so she put blankets in it when Frodo adopted it. MOL. It's cozy and one more way I can taunt Frodo. It's also the warmest room in the house.

The Thing is still here. I make it a point to hiss at It, but to be honest It doesn't bother me as much. OK, *he* doesn't bother me as much. And the other cats and I are getting along better now that we have a common enemy. Although Rumble is sucking up to the human by being very tolerant of the kitten. I mean Thing.

Shelley is hiding a lot more in the basement since Thing got here. She's coming out more now, but I'm still a little concerned about her. I like her and want her to be happy. Mom started a game of throwing her little pieces of the dog's dehydrated chicken treats, and Shelley tries to catch them. We used to play that game with kitten chow. Shelley was always best at it, so it makes her happy now.

Piper tagged me!

I've been tagged! I'm to write 7 things about myself and then tag other friends to do the same! Well all righty then!

1) My current human was my foster mom when I was 8 weeks old. I was adopted by idiots at 5 months who knew nothing about cats. They would pick me up, bathe me, trap me (they had to in order to bathe me), and try to hold me on their laps. I was a very frightened kitten and this family overwhelmed me, so I spent a lot of time hiding from them. Finally they couldn't stand me anymore and took me back to the rescue people. My human took me back in and said I could stay with her forever!

2) When the weather is decent I love to go outside. Sometimes there are mice on the patio and I catch them! I don't eat them, though; I leave that messiness to the others.

3) I will lie on anything soft, and specifically seek out piles of clothes. I prefer the clean ones so that I can cover them in fur, but will settle for laundry piles if necessary. Not all fur comes out in the wash, MOL!

4) My cat-sis Frodo used to beat me up and intimidate me. I've since realized that I am bigger than she is, and the roles are reversed now!

5) I hate raw food. I will occasionally taste canned fish, but otherwise am strictly a ProPlan cat. Do not try to tempt me away with something healthier. And by the way, bring back that kitten chow!

6) If I'm going outside a lot, my white areas will turn a delicate shade of brown. The human says I don't clean myself very well. I say it is a suntan.

7) My very favorite place to be is up HIGH! On top of the refrigerator, at the top of the stairs, anywhere I can look down on the world!

Now to tag 7 others!

Changes!

My nice, orderly life, with which I have been quite content, has recently turned upside down. Here is how things are supposed to go:

1) Food. I should have a bowl of dry food down at all times. There should be a second bowl with kitten chow, simply because we love it and the human is soft. Finally, we should have canned food on demand: ProPlan chicken and rice or salmon and rice. In return, I agree to share nicely with the other cats (except Frodo).

2) Other creatures. The dog Byron and I tolerate each other without rancor. Frodo is fair game to be picked on. Rumble is a pest but occasionally a playmate, and my littermate Shelley and I chase each other a little. Weeble is gone now, but we were never friends and truth be told, I'm not sorry to have less competition.

3) Play. I notify the human when it is time to play. 99% of the time I want the Cat Dancer. It is MY Cat Dancer. Rumble will often interrupt my playtime, but the human prevents his taking over and makes sure we each get chase time. For my part, I do silly tricks and act clownish to make the human laugh.

4) Affection. Again, I notify the human when I want petting. I have worked hard to teach her a body language she calls "flirting," which cannot be confused with other signals I send. The human is relatively adept at picking up on language subtleties.

All reasonable, no? I am not a tyrant. And here is what I get in return:

1) My dry food has been removed, even the kitten chow. The human is on an animal health kick, while she continues to eat her favorite junk food. (Transcriber's note: alas, too true.) She wants us all to eat raw meat. Raw! With bones! She has tried limiting us to two mealtimes and has broadly hinted that I am, well, broad. I put a stop to the mealtime nonsense, and will not eat raw drek. Nor will I tolerate being limited in my intake of the one beloved food remaining to me.

2) There. Is. A. THING. In. My. House. A little black Thing that stumbles and falls and yowls for attention. Now I can take on a strident tone when Human is ignoring me, but I have never yowled in my life. Human says the Thing has Siamese cat in it, hence the triangular face and wretched voice. Regardless, it is extremely offensive. And It gets attention that should be directed at me. It is little, It is disabled, It eats raw food. Therefore It sleeps on Human's and my bed, It gets picked up, It gets cuddled. I am relegated to second place at best. Human tries to console me, but I am having none of it.

3) Play. Now, not only does Rumble interrupt, but so does the Thing. It lurches into the room in its ungainly way and heads straight for me. It wants to play - with ME! It wants to be friends - with ME! Ha. I say again, Ha.

4) Attention. Enough said. You, intelligent reader, have doubtless arrived at the truth by now.

I do not know how long this outrage will last. It has been eight long days since the Thing arrived, and several days more that the food tampering has gone on. The human insists that my place in the household is assured, and that I will adjust. I? She needs to make the adjustments. Unfortunately she is leveraging the power of her opposable thumb, and for now I am powerless to stop it. Soon, however... soon...