My Life, by... a Princess

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A VIZZIT From PRINCESS!!!!

January 8th 2008 12:01 pm
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Last night when Meowmie got into bed, she could almost see Miss Princess rushing up to cuddle with her, as Miss P would always do in real life. "Most strange, but welcome", thought Meowmie, as she got under the covers.

Well, Miss P most probably WAS there !! As Meowmie slept, she dreamed she was brushing Princess who was standing on the commode seat in the bathroom -- where Meowmie ALWAYS brushed her in real life. Princess looked great. Meowmie said to herself "I know Miss P is gone " (left this world in Oct 2005) "and I have no idea what I'm going to tell them when I take her to the vet" .

And as Meowmie brushed Miss P, she felt her body and sure enough, there were those nasty cancer tumors... Meowmie gently brushed Princess' fluffy belly and could hear her purr!!

Meowmie KNOWS she was NOT touching BBBT in her sleep becuz BBBT does NOT cuddle in bed, she sleeps on the bed but AWAY from Meowmie(hmph!!!)

Needless to say Meowmie had a BIIG smile on her face when she woke up.

(Note frum Princess up In Heaven: "Sinss Meowmie haz been a liddle stressed laitly (sumpin to do with Da Rent, and Da Bills) I just HAD to make a speshul visit to show her how much I STILL CARE!!

Purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr..................")

 

TAG!! I'm IT!!! Hee Hee

May 29th 2007 11:17 am
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Fackts abowt me..hmm...

1- I charmed my Meowmie in the shelter by rolling over on my back and showing hur my fuzzy belly and smiling at her and ekkstending my (claws in) paw out of my Cage door. She was smitten.

2- I was always a gentul cat

3- Well, sumtimes I wudd go beezerk and run and jump and pounss on things and on Meowmie.

4- The furst day she left me alone for more than 8 hours I found a pakkij of Pancake mix and I dragged it into the livingroom and tore it open all over the floor.

5- I loved to sing to my mowsie toys and bring em to Meowmie, sumtimes at 2 in the morning.

6- I luved to put my Mowsie toys in Meowmie's shoesiez.

7- I found a REAL LIVE mowsie once and de-alived it and put it next to all my Mowsie toys for Meowmie to see wenn she got home that evening. She wuz very impresst.

TAG!! That's IT!!

Hee Hee

 

Remembering.....

February 26th 2007 6:34 am
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Thank you, kind purrson who left that Rainbow Rosette for Miss Princess!!

I am always remembering things she did and what she might be doing now as I sit on the bed, pay bills, sit at my Computer (I know what she'd be doing -- she'd be jumping on my lap and patting the keys!! How I miss that!) or when I sit on the (Catproofed, very well-fenced-in) balcony, on her favorite chair.

Our pets truly are very special beings. (Even a tiny goldfish is QUITE capable of giving and receiving love and letting their human person know that they ARE very much aware of them.)

* * * This happened to me several years ago -- One night when I was very sick with a strep throat, I was in bed in agony -- despite antibiotics and bed rest, my throat was so sore it felt like it was about to crack in half. Princess and Big Bad Baby Twinkle were hunkered down at the foot of my bed. Without a word, Princess got up, walked on my chest, lay down on my throat -- she had NEVER lain on my throat before!! My throat became so HOT, I thought it was on fire. And right then, the pain in my throat TOTALLY went away-- it NEVER came back!!

Then Princess, her work done, calmly got up, walked back the the foot of the bed and went back to sleep.

I would have said "Thank YOU!" to her, but I was still so hoarse I was unable to speak at that time. However, you can bet I was extremely grateful and extremely awed by the love of such a beautiful little creature. I can only hope she did not absorb any of my illness when she did that unexpected and wonderful healing for me.

PS -- She NEVER aftwerwards lay down on my throat.

Bless you Princess, wherever you are now.

Trust me, there is no such thing as a "Dumb" Animal (where DUMB means "stupid") -- did you know that back in the old days, "Dumb" REALLY meant -- "Cannot speak" !!!! And that is why and that is WHEN that word was applied to animals -- for they do not speak like humans (in most cases), but they truly are NOT stupid!!!!

 

Dreaming about Miss P........

November 27th 2006 1:35 pm
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The other night I had a beautiful dream about my beloved Miss Princess. She was in the car with me and we were traveling through a nice, but unfamiliar city, when she jumped out of the car (more like "floated out") and went into a store.

I ran into the store to find her. It was a nice nondescript store with a greyish rug on the floor. There were 4 glass tables in the center of this store, with small groups of people sitting around each table. Next to each table was a round hole big enough for a kitty or a small poochy to jump into -- Princess had disappeared into one of these holes. As I walked in, the man who owned/managed the store said to me helpfully - "She's in here", and pointed to one of the holes near one of the tables. I asked him "How do you know?' and he said "You can see them with these cameras", and sure enough, there were camera images of these critters -- maybe this was a furutistic play school for pets?? Who knows-- ANYTHING is possible in a dream.

Anyway, as I looked into the camera, out from the hole popped a pretty Daschund, dark reddish in color, and a Long Haired Daschund, same hair color -- AND... Princess! She was wearing a pretty red harness and leash and I picked her up and petted her and made sure she hadn't picked up any fleas (!). I remember, just before waking, on remarking to myself how soft her fur was.

She looked great. I was sad that I had to wake up, but I carried that memory with me all day.

 

WHEEE! A VISIT FROM HEAVEN???!!!

February 27th 2006 8:06 am
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Last night, I had a "dream"....

I was sitting on the side of my bed and Big Bad Baby Twinkle (BBBT) was sitting by my right side, trying to get at something, scrabbling about with her paws, and I wondered what she was trying to get at -- when lo and behold on my left side (I didn't see her face, but I SURE KNEW who it was!!!!)
PRINCESS came playfully SCAMPERING by me on the bed, and BBBT, still
sitting on my right side, tried to reach over to play with her -- but
Princess was gone in a heartbeat.

I was SO HAPPY!! Even when I woke up and even now, I have a BIG smile
on my face!! Princess was healthy, all filled out and just SO playful!

Wheeeee!!!

 

Thank you everyone, for your kind compassionate support!!!

October 24th 2005 6:40 am
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Many people have emailed me to send their condolences on the loss of my beloved Princess -- these kind people have offered me support and also told me how much sorrow they are feeling for their kitties who have passed on recently (or even many years ago -- we NEVER forget them, they were the angels in our lives and we still miss them so). I thank you for your compassion and I grieve with you for your losses.

I am coping the best I can- You have been most kind to me these past few terrible days. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, for being so kind. I still have an ACHE in my heart for my beloved Princess - will be a while before it subsides.

I found a book called Cat Heaven and it is so sweet -- it was at the (ugh) crematory so I got one from Amazon used books -- childlike drawings and simple but sweet verse. (They have one for Dog Heaven too)

I went to a local Shape note (Sacred Harp) singing session Sunday afternoon to ease my sorrow -- the songs are always uplifting, and the harmony is beautiful. There were quite a few people there -- I told them Princess had passed, and I was there to ease my soul, and one sweet lady pulled a small photo album out of her purse and showed me photos of her kitties, including one who had passed 5 yrs ago. One woman in the group, when we were singing "we are happy in Your presence" changed the words to "She is happy in Your Presence" and also modified another verse when she sang "She is purring near the throne." -- I thought that was SO kind of her!!!! She told me how a few weeks after her kitty passed away, there was a loud meowing at the door -- when it was opened a new kitty walked right in and made himself at home. He is still living there...!!

One guy sitting in front of me was very really insensitive and was making light of everything. So much for Man"kind". I am not known for keeping my mouth shut and I told him off.

When the singing ended and I left, I got some warm hugs from people in the group who understood. And the singing was really uplifting!

 

Goodnight, My Beloved Princess....Parting is such GREAT - Sorrow......

October 23rd 2005 6:21 am
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The night before Princess left me

I wrote a small diary and a Tribute to the last days of my loving and beloved kitty - Princess, who suffered from cancer since March 2004 when she was 12 years old. She had 3 operations, healed from all of them, rallied, played, ran and was a happy rascal until the cancer metastasized to her lungs. Then she became progressively weaker, still showing a fierce fighting (and playing and loving) spirit, which I did NOT dare (nor did I want!) to extinguish, as I knew that when the right time came — SHE would let me know.

And she did.

** Monday October 17, 2005 **

I was hand-feeding Princess tonight when I felt her soul starting to leave her body – don’t ask me how I knew -- but it was the same exact feeling I had when I was sitting by my dying uncle's bed in the hospital -- I felt his soul leave his body, and 5 minutes later he took his last breath.

I wish I could know more about the spirit world -- there seems to be so much comfort in that knowledge.

Goodnight Sweet Princess....Parting is such DEEP sorrow.......
4 am, Wednesday October 19, 2005:

I came home Tues nite, Oct 18 and hand fed Princess again and gave her a little water. She ate a little baby food I'd put in a dish. She was lying down, and her eyes showed pain.

Later that night, as I rushed to and from my chores, which included petting, feeding and comforting Princess, I blew some soap bubbles for her. She always loved to look at them, eyes wide, and meditated on them when they fell next to her without popping. She never touched them, but I could see her eyes following the bubbles -- and then she, who had been lying in the same spot for 24 hours, only to get up and totter to the litterbox and back, suddenly jumped up and tried to whack one of the bubbles with her paw -- and immediately her rear legs gave out. She started crying and gasping. She tried to get up again and her rear legs gave out again.

You know, about 3 weeks ago a psychic (for real) friend told me that "when Princess starts to play like a kitten, that means the end is near" . I remembered what he said, just then.

She lay there gasping and moaning and I knew it was time. I talked to her and told her what we were going to do. I HATED to have to do it. I lay on the floor with her for a little while and she bravely and pointedly dragged herself over to me in a hurry, and cuddled up next to me twice while I caressed her oh-so-skinny body. Then I got dressed and I picked her weightless body, wrapped it in one of her sleeping towels, and held her, lovingly cuddled her next to me oh so carefully, put her in the carrier with her favorite mousie toys, and took some of her beloved brushes with me.

G-d bless my friend and neighbor for loaning me her car all this week. It was downstairs and ready for us, parked with enough space on the passenger side to be able to open the door to put a big carrier in. As I drove Miss P to the vet at 2:30 in the morning, I looked up at the deep blue night sky, saw a star and said "Princess -- you will be a star in the heavens soon!!"

It was a BEAUTIFUL night -- made for a resurrection -- the air was sweet, the crickets filing the air with late song singing in tune with Mother Earth’s rhythms, there was a beautiful hush in the air, the stars were ALL out, and the moon was full. The streets were empty save for a few lonely cars here & there.

The night sky looked very much like it had when Princess appeared to me in that dream in Feb 2005, dressed in the night sky, wearing the stars and clouds and the crescent moon.

We got to the vet's at 2:30 AM. They took her inside to put a catheter in and I had to run to the bathroom -- when I got back they told me to rush in as she was almost about to die a natural death on the operating table. I knew if she died a natural death it would be horrible, as her lungs were filling with fluid.

There she was lying on the table -- a vet tech was giving her oxygen from a long tube -- putting it in front of Miss P's nose so she could breathe. I could hear Princess’s little gasps and little moans. My poor little girl! She deserved SO much better than this!! Miss P looked so fragile and I felt oh so sad. I had the vet give her a muscle relaxant before she gave her the barbiturates, and I kissed Miss P's forehead and brushed Miss P gently before the needle went in. I looked in her beautiful green eyes as she went very quickly, not moving a muscle.

The dear little girl waited until the last minute to be with me. She stayed until she literally HAD to go. What love -- do I deserve that?! I HAVE GOT to be good so I can go to Heaven and be with Princess.

I am sure a loving someone from the Other Side came to escort Princess to the Rainbow Bridge.

Oh I felt SO bad. But she looked like she was sleeping and I KNOW that my beloved feisty kitty was happy to get out of that worn out, painful body. Cancer is a demon.

Everyone there was crying, even the Vet.

I took Miss P into the quiet room and talked to her a while, brushed her, and then took her back home with me. When I looked at her in that room, so still, still warm, but gone from this existence, I felt such great sadness for those lost, abused and abandoned animals who die a lonely death out there by themselves. I am determined do something about that - there is FAR too much suffering in this world, and every human being who changes things for the better makes a HUGE difference in the life of an animal and a fellow-human being.

On the way back home with Princess in her little box, on the passenger’s seat, I felt her spirit, as alive and mischievous as ever.

I have a presentation to make at work in less than 6 hours -- oboy....... I'm leaving for home immediately afterwards -- whether they like it or not.

Princess, G-dspeed.....all your pain is GONE. Thank you for more than TWELVE years of your special wonderful love. Enjoy your Paradise. We will meet again. My heart aches SO badly – I can now understand why some people and animals can die of grief when the one they love dies.

Princess is in my heart forever -- my BEST friend and wonderful angel

** Missing my Beautiful Princess **

October 19, 2005 3 pm

Well, the presentation at work went well. I kept a low profile, although I was the one who had to introduce he speakers, since I was the one who organized this presentation. I volunteered to advance the slides in the slide projector (the remote was not working), and since I had not slept in over 24 hours, I kept nodding off between slide changes. I went home after the presentation to pick up my beloved Princess, who was “resting” sweetly in her box, on the tarpaulin in my room, and take her to the dreaded crematorium. Oh she looked like she was sleeping – her luminous green eyes were just as beautiful as ever, her fur so soft. Oh where have you gone, my beloved???

Before I took Miss P to the crematory, I picked up her little box and gently brought her out to the (cat proofed, fenced-in) balcony that she loved so much and where I would place her on her last days to enjoy the still-warm sunny days (without Big Bad Baby Twinkle or Cee Cee to bug her) -- Now I placed her, lying as though asleep, in her box, on her favorite chair, told her "it's a beautiful day my love" , put her toys around her box, and let her stay there for a little while. The sky was a beautiful October blue, the sun was shining, the birds she loved to watch were singing, and a gentle breeze blessed the both of us, as she lay there in her little box on the chair she loved, surrounded by her toys, and I watched over her. My other cats were behind closed doors. Then I kissed her, and took her to the crematory, with heavy heart.

When I walked into the door of the crematory, carrying Princess in her box, I immediately started crying. I looked at the kind woman at the desk and said “I was ok until I came in". She replied, with a kind heart, "Most people who come here are like that." Then I waited and my friend Anna came in -- a big strong woman, legs like tree trunks. As soon as she walked in and saw Miss P she started sobbing, which started me up again. There were kleenex boxes handy. We sat and talked and stroked Miss P's body, which looked so much like she was just sleeping, and then we filled out the paperwork.......and left; I had to force myself to leave - I wanted so badly to run back in and get her back from that place. The woman behind the counter was VERY kind.

Tomorrow I have to pick up Miss P's ashes -- I felt SO bad at the thought of Princess being in that cremation place, being cremated, but my wise friend Michael, who is a priest in an “alternative” religion told me -- think of it as this - "Princess is going into the sun to be renewed".

And my dear friend Anna bought me an urn for Miss P, with a place for a picture -- I will surround it with Princess’ toys.

After 12 + years of being immersed in Miss P's love, I now must learn day by day to go forward as another phase of life begins. Life feels so cold without her.

I have a nice (Pumpkin scented) candle burning (safely) near her photo -- I will burn candles for the next 14 days to celebrate each year of Princess's life.

I tried to get on the computer but was hit with a wave of exhaustion – it being 36 + hours since I had any sleep. Blow out the candle, hit the sack.

** Dreaming of Princess **

Thursday October 20, 2005 - a.m.

I dreamed about Princess last nite -- she was reclining peacefully in front of me - her image was pink - glowing and almost translucent but it was unmistakably Princess -- she was waiting for me peacefully, wearing her little (again, pink) harness and her (pink!) leash was neatly coiled next to her, as though waiting for me to pick it up and go walking with her. Her image was repeated twice, perhaps as a way to emphasize this to me (she never walked on a leash but she'd wear the harness and leash and I'd carry her in my arms safely holding the leash when we used to talk walks in the neighborhood, while I made sure to look out for dogs and.... not-so-nice people too).

She looked great in my dream. Someone also told me that pink is the color of love.

** Thursday October 20, 2005 - 3:40PM **

And yes she did visit again!!

When I got to the crematory today (after missing the turnoff TWICE, then almost speeding right by the building) the lady went in the back and came out with a bag in which was the plastic box holding Miss P in an alternative form. I took the bag, hugged it, and then I placed it on the counter and talked with the woman -- when.....I suddenly felt what was like a friendly “glowing” head butt in my solar plexus, and I turned to the bag, patted the box inside of it, and said "Hi Honey!" I knew it was Princess - probably telling me -- "Hey, I'm here - don't ignore me!" The woman did not bat an eyelash -- the stories SHE could probably tell.

When I got home, I made the mistake of reading the "Rainbow Bridge" card they had enclosed with the papers -- oh did I sob!! (My poor neighbors!! Paper thin walls).

And...when I got back home – I got off the elevator and started to rush to my door to see how Princess was -- when I remembered....oops.....

I am glad I'm returning to work Friday.

** Princess in the Sky with Diamonds/Stars **
Friday October 21, 2005

Wow -- this morning I woke up and looked at that humble little black plastic box holding Princess in an “alternative state” ...... with 2 cat toys on top of it. Then I once again looked at the place where Princess had rested so much, especially in her final days. There were blankets and towels all over that floor -- her fake sheepskin circle bed turned upside down over the rag rug -- she'd lie down under that little round sheepskin bed and stay warm, with just her head sticking out - I used to tell her she looked like a little Princess Turtle.

On the days that I'd leave for work, I used to go over to her, feed her, scoop the litterbox, brush her and give her scritchies and kiss her head. She would purr a raspy purr, and then I'd check everything to see if the fans, etc were turned off and I'd start to leave that room -- she'd usually be looking at me -- and then of course I'd turn right around and go back to give her another kiss on the head, and wish her well - "I hope you are here for me when I come home tonight" I would say as I left for the day.

I'd lock the bedroom door and worry for the rest of the day, and would be SO happy when I got home and there she was, waiting for me. I would usually lie spread-eagled on my stomach on my bed so my head and arms would hang over her sick bay and I'd talk to her, give her scritchies, and hear her wonderful purrs. Then I'd settle in for another round of hand feeding, brushing etc.

So I've been VERY reluctant to remove ANY of those items. But this morning as I looked at them, I started to think - "Why do I seek my living Princess in here? She is now free from pain - she is totally alive in another dimension!" My heart leapt with joy - perhaps Miss P was touching my heart and talking to me. The thought gave me great comfort -- but I still did not dismantle anything -- other than to take the bag of litter over to CC's area.

And... for the past couple of days:

1- I thought I saw, out of the corner of my eye -- a little grey head peeking around the corner of the bathroom door. Hmmm.......... (she used to wait outside the bathroom door, and when I opened it her little head would peek in, and she would trot over the toilet seat, jump up, and place her little front paws on the sink so she could get a luxurious “BRUSH”ing from me—I was always happy to comply – she’d purr and we’d rub cheeks and I’d kiss her head, tickle her belly, and brush brush brush her, to her great joy.

2- and I thought I saw some movement in the hallway where Princess and BBBT used to run like a herd of buffalo.

Now I'm back at work. On the bus this morning I met 2 kind ladies - fellow-choir members/cat people, who had heard the news and were SO kind. When I got off the bus to go to the subway escalator, it wa pouring rain. Little did I realize that one of those ladies was right behind me on the escalator, holding her umbrella over me! "I thought you'd want to stay dry", she said with a kind (and understanding - she has 2 cats) smile."

My heart still aches so.

One day at a time.

I'm not much of an artist but I would like to try to paint a picture (or maybe paint a ceramic cat statue) of Princess as I saw her when she came to me in a dream while she was in the incubator last February in the emergency clinic-- they had operated on her 2nd tumor last February and could not get her temperature up.

In that dream in February, I saw her materialize through my bedroom window and land on her favorite (carpeted) file cabinet. She was dressed in the night sky - instead of her fur, she was clothed in the dark beautiful blue night sky, with the night clouds and stars (and the crescent moon I think), but I could see her cat form and she was perfect and healthy.

Now that I write this I suddenly realize that the night sky, on this recent October night when she died, was as beautiful as the one she was "wearing" on that February night when she visited me while she was in the incubator. How prophetic!!!!

Wow -- how much of this world there is that do we NOT know about.....

October 23, 2005
4 pm

I went to a local Shape note (Sacred Harp) singing session Sunday afternoon to ease my sorrow -- the songs are always uplifting, and the harmony is beautiful. There were quite a few people there -- I told them Princess had passed, and I was there to ease my soul, and one sweet lady pulled a small photo album out of her purse and showed me photos of her kitties, including one who had passed 5 yrs ago. One woman in the group, when we were singing "we are happy in Your presence" changed the words to "She is happy in Your Presence" and also modified another verse when she sang "She is purring near the throne." -- I thought that was SO kind of her!!!! She told me how a few weeks after her kitty passed away, there was a loud meowing at the door -- when it was opened a new kitty walked right in and made himself at home. He is still living there...!!

When the singing ended and I left, I got some warm hugs from people in the group who understood. And the singing was really uplifting!

I found a book called "Cat Heaven" and it is so sweet -- it was at the (ugh) crematory so I got one from Amazon used books -- childlike drawings and simple but sweet verse. (They have one for "Dog Heaven" too)

I hope I did the right thing for Princess. I think I may have been fighting a losing battle, period. And I am really wondering if her cancers (other than the breast cancer, perhaps….) were due to several years of vaccinations in the shoulder area and the thigh (before they switched to intranasal vaccines (which I am still leery of). Poor Poor kid. I DID come upon a transcript from a recent communication with her in Sept where she was asked "What can your mom do for you?" and she said she really didn't know. And I do remember the last communicator asking her the same thing and that's when she mentioned fish and oily fishy stuff, none of which it turned out she liked (other than salmon). I also remember Princess telling one of those communicators that “Baby Twinkle puts a twinkle in her eye”. BBBT is a big fat bully but she can be extremely silly at times.

October 25, 2005
745 am
Memories of the strength of a soul

This morning as I looked at the place where Princess had lain (NOTHING has been moved) and remembered how SURPRISED I was last week , on Monday morning Oct 17 of last week, when I said "brush!" -- one of her VERY favoritist words . When she heard me say that, she sat bolt upright in her bed -- skinny skinny body and all (and facing AWAY from me, which was strange....!) . For many days prior to that morning, I had been brushing a VERY supine languishing Princess, who hardly moved -- but on that Monday before she died, there she was, sitting straight up waiting to be brushed. Of course, I walked over and gently obliged her, brushing her “left” cheek and her “Right” cheek (and she would incline her head in that direction, purring happily) and then I gently brushed her sides and back – oh you could see her backbone—she had lost A LOT of weight – but even so, her fur fairly gleamed.

I believe her INTENSELY STRONG SPIRIT was enabling her body to do things she normally could not.. Also one Saturday before she died, I had found her lying behind the bedroom door, looking up at me when I walked in -- I'm sorry to describe it this way but she looked like a corpse looking up at me-- I was SO surprised she had gotten there – it must have been an effort for her to get there from the other side of the room, 20 feet away. And then the Tuesday before she died, she had gotten onto the cushion near my bed -- and was looking at me-- I truly believe she wanted to get on the bed, but at that point I knew she was in pain, and could NOT jump down from the bed, So I would have been putting her in grave danger if I even tried to pick her up.

Second guessing is unfortunately inevitable. Boy am I ever doing it -- but I think I hear a little beautiful voice saying "Meowmie -- you tried everything you could think of ! Be ok Meowmie -- I love you forever!"

There IS a fine, kind world on the other side – my beloved kitty Princess may very well be lying on her back, showing off her frowzy belly, and extending an arm out to me when I finally come over, with a big big smile on her face and all that beautiful love in her luminous green eyes -- looking just like she did when I first met her and was enchanted by her inner and outer beauty. We will be together again, we will no longer know pain, we will know IMMENSE happiness. . . . but for now, even in the midst of my grief and longing for her, we truly are only a heartbeat away from one another.

But knowing all this will not stop the pain.

October 27, 2005
6 am

I woke up this morning and felt a pain in my soul—no Princess trying to pull the covers off my face to harass me, smooch me and pat me on the face, nibble my earrings or blow her breath into my ear. What a loss. Sometimes when she cuddled with me, she would lie down and throw herself at me, back first so her little round furry back would press against me. I would caress her and we would both purr….

This morning, Baby was on the cat tree, looking pointedly at the place where Miss P usta lie down sometimes - hmm... wonder what she was seeing.....I let Baby into my room but I don't let her sleep with me -- I just can't handle it. I feel bad about that becuz I know she wants to -- but I just can't.

 

It's Cansur - it's not pretty

October 18th 2005 8:43 am
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I'm NOT ready to go yet. And so I have told Meowmie. She respekts my decision.

I'm a fighter.

I am FULL of lumps. And last Friday I ended up in an Okksyjen chamber for 1/2 hr. And....two of my tumors had ruptured too. So the vetlady cleaned me up and gave me medikashun and Sub Q and sentme home with Meowmie, who didint think I wuz gonna make it home alive.

But I did. Then I stopped eating.

So Meowmie went out and bought lo-salt chicken broth and Turkey ,Beef, and Chicken Baby food and has been getting up at 4 am to finger-tip feed me, cuz I can't handle eyedroppers. She even made a carpeted ramp for me to use if I wanted to get on the bureau and look out the window -- I used it a cupla times but then got too tired.

So after not eating for almost 3 days I started eating a little bit, after Meowmie would smear a little bit of baby food on my lips and gums. Then she wiped my face carefully so I wouldn't get a dirty face. Then I started to lick the baby food. And after lying on my rug (the whole FLOOR is coverd with clean rugs and towels and cushions -- for me!) for more than 24 hours, I ffelt stronger and I got up to recline on a nice cushion, Meowmie was so happy when she saw that I had moved. I was giving her this look............ like "Well, what didjya ekkspect from me!!"

I have a coupla piktures of sick me. The one you see is of me with my head on a heart shaped plush toy so I can breathe ok. I am tougher than I look.

Cansur IS terrible, but love is beeotiful and Meowmie loves me and I LOVE MEOWMIE!!

Miss Princess

 

Limping along......

September 9th 2005 6:07 am
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I have a buncha tumahs under my arm and it makes it hard to walk on that front leg. And my arm is a little swollen so Meowmie asked the Vet what could be done and the Vet said "Well becuz she has flooid on her lungs we can't operate but try this" -- so she gave Meowmie some metacam for kitties.

And she said the swelling is probbly becuz my lymph glands are involved and da lymph is collecting (Hooman peepul have this too -- it's like Lymphedema...) so Meowmie said "Can I massage her arm to move da lymph around?" and da vet said "Good Idea - mke sure you massage it toward her chest so da lymph can flow OUT".

But Meowmie had alreddy been massaging my arm becuz she felt it was the right thing to do and I liked it annyway, so now she is massaging it a little more (and doing it gently) and it makes me feel pretty good.

I tried ta run outta the bedroom yestidday -- but Meowmie sed - "No Sweet Princess, I hafta go to work" - but she promisst me that on Sattiday she would pick me up and carry me gently (I have ouchie issues when she picks me up, so she hasta be careful) and let me lie in the Sun on my beloved (fenced-in) balcony.

I purred when I heard her say that.

Well, I must rest now....

 

I am still here

August 30th 2005 9:34 am
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Sometimes Meowmie gets really sad becuz she can see the pain in my eyes.

I don't sleep with Meowmie anymore and that makes her sad -- so last night she picked me up VERY gently and placed me near her -- she petted me and talked to me . I was so happy that even when I did move away to the foot of the bed, I kept looking at her instead of turning my face away. Then in the morning, I got up and limped over to her and stood on her stummick and I gave her a SMOOCH!! And I was SO pleased with myself -- Meowmie could see the smile on my face and the sparkul in my eyes -- Meowmie was very pleased too!!!

A coupla days later, she heard me singing on the other saide of the bedroom door (she keeps me in her bedroom cuz if I limped out I would hide and Meowmie would have a TERRIBUL time tryin ta find me!), and when she heard me singing she knew I was singin to my Mousie toy which I had in my mouth, and trying ta bring it to her -- so she she opened the door and there I wuz, sitting on the other side of it, with my beloved Mousie Toy right behind me where I had dropped it -- and she said "Oh Miss Princess!! What a nice Mousie toy! You are such a Good kitty!" and then she gave me TWO Pounces!!!

Oh, I wish my pain would go away. I want to play again and run down the hallway with Baby Twinkle, the two of us sounding like a herd of buffaloes. When I sleep I dream that I am happy and young again. But then sometimes the pain wakes me up. Meowmie can tell when I'm in pain by the look in my eyes -- but then there are times when I feel pretty good! And she can tell that I'm feeling good, by the way my eyes are big and clear and sparkly!

I am not eating as much as I should, but Meowmie gives me tempting foodies at all hours of the night and day -- and sometimes I eat it up.

Meowmie gets up ALL hours of the night to make me comfie or pet me or feed me -- yesterday all I wanted was some of Cee Cee's canned food AND some condensed milk -- yum yum! - annyway she told me that there is a Rainbow Brij that I will one day cross over and when I get to the other side, where there is green grass and beeootiful trees and flowahs and GREAT catnip and LOTSA animal frens, I will feel SO young and So happy and I will NOT have any more pain or LUMPIES!! Wheeee!! I was so happy to hear that!

And I sed "Then Meowmie you and I can play and run and walk all over that beeotiful place!" But she looked real sad and sed "Oh Miss Princess -- I cannot come over that brij yet -- there are other kitties and goldfish and maybe one day horsies and doggers who still need me here. I will miss you very much but I know you will only be a paw's touch away frum me and you will still be able to see me! And I want you to save me a place there pleez!"

Well, I was very sad to hear that she won't go there with me yet but I was happy that she gave me a speshul job to do there. I will save her a place and be so proud to do that!

Scuse me I am very tired -- I am going back to sleep. I will be happy when Meowmie comes home tonight -- how I wish I had enough strength to meet her at the door like I usta-- She would bend down and say "Princess - may I give you a KISS?" and I would stand up so she could kiss me on my frowzie little head.

 
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