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Okay! Okay! I'll write in the diary. Sheesh!

I was lost!

October 2nd 2012 9:27 am
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It was really scary, what happened to me.

It's been a couple of years now, but I was LOST! One day I didn't come home. My people put up signs everywhere and posted on different websites hoping someone would recognize me. They kept checking with the animal shelters, but...nothing.

Finally, when Manperson was talking to a neighbor late one night, the neighbor said the landlord from a few houses down had been doing work on it and that he stores stuff in the crawl space. The friend was going to check the next day, but Manperson said "Forget that! I'm checking right now!" So they said good night and he hopped the fence in the dark and went to the door to the crawl space. I remember hearing the door open and his beautiful voice saying, "Joey!" I answered him, but I was hungry and tired so I guess he wasn't sure what he heard. He said my name again, but this time I was louder and went running over to him. We were both so happy!! I was alone in the dark for more than two days!

He promised Ladyperson that if he found me he would not let me go, so he grabbed me, climbed the fence holding me (I kept trying to get away--I was free!) but he held onto me and took me home. Ladyperson says she remembers hearing someone kicking at the front door and shouting "Open up!" She did, and he was standing at the door holding me under my arms with a big, silly grin on his face.

They made a big fuss over me, petting me and laughing, but I just wanted to eat something. So they made me a plate of food and I ate the whole thing. It was the best food I ever tasted. Better than fresh mouses!

So let me tell you people something. If your cat is missing, they might be close by, locked up somewhere wondering where you are. Have your neighbors check their crawl spaces, sheds, garages--anywhere a cat can fit.

You never know!


HD TV Rules!!

August 16th 2010 9:20 am
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Ever since my peeps got hi-def tv, I can't stop watching it! My favorite is football (glad the Redskins are back on), but I'm not too picky. I'll stretch out on the sofa and watch it til I fall asleep. But why won't they let me have the remote?



December 5th 2007 2:06 pm
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Ooohmigawd! I won my CATegory! I'm the best of the Outdoor and Country Cats! I'm trying very hard to maintain my dignity, but I'm so excited I can't sit still! And now my paw is stuck on the exclamation points!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yowwww! soon as I contain myself, I'm going to march right over to Zuzu and go nya-nya. I might share my cool prizes with her and Oscar -- poor peons -- but I haven' t decided yet. I'm too excited!!

I'll get some free 9Lives fud, some Quirk books, stuff from Arm and Hammer, and I'm even going to be a Shutterfly Calendar Cat...eventually.

Best of all, my people really love me.



A finalist? Moi?!

November 28th 2007 3:10 pm
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I always knew there was something special about myself (aside from my humility, of course), but I never dreamed it would be recognized by the world. I am an astroturf kitty, the indoor-outdoor type, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised that my cat-isma has been noticed. One of my people took a picture of me asleep in the birdbath. I only closed my eyes for a minute, I swear! Now, I'm famous, or so they tell me. It's just a matter of time before the pawparazzi are lined up outside hoping for my pawtograph. Ssssigh...

I hope it doesn't spoil me. My peeps have done a pretty great job of that already!


Still the King

January 7th 2006 4:37 pm
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I am pleased to report that I am still king of all I survey. And that's a lot, from the top of the car. I keep having to chase off Big B*lls (what a dope!) and reminding the ladies who live in the back acre that I rule. I don't actually fight with them--that would not be chivalrous--but I do chase them around from time to time. Then I go back to my bath. That peasant Big B*lls still won't learn his lesson. I am stronger than he is. I am bigger than he is. Sure I don't have my you-knows anymore, but I am still better looking than he is.

Isn't it time for me to be adored?


Zuzu. Hmph.

September 19th 2005 3:55 pm
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It's still here. I think it's a cat, but it looks like someone spilled paint on it. My people pay an awful lot of attention to it. And what is with that tail?! It's always going! Back and forth. Back and forth. Flit flit flit. Drives me nuts. Speaking of which, wish I still had mine. Then I'd teach it a thing or two.


I been sick...

December 13th 2004 2:07 pm
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It's my paw. No, not my maw, my paw. I got in a fight with Big B*lls the other day and he must've bitten my foot, cuz my toe got all swollen and I got a fever and everything. So the next day I went to the vet (she whose name must not be mentioned) and they cleaned me up and gave me some pills and stuff. They were actually very nice to me. Don't tell my People that I was very cooperative. They think I'm a bad*ss! Anyway, everything was cool till they put that Elizabethan collar on me. Oh brother! Do I look like my name is Elizabeth?! Well, do I? Okay, I guess I do when I'm wearing the collar...


The New Cat

December 11th 2004 8:07 am
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This just beats all. Everything was purrfect. It was just me and Oscar and the people. And what do they do? They bring in a new kitten! How could they do this?! She's pretty ugly. And she never sits still. Always running around, chasing things that aren't there (what is THAT about?), batting at my tail. Doesn't she know that I am the King? I must do something about this. A royal edict perhaps. "All new kittens must leave me the heck alone."

That'll do it. Yeah. Right.


My first doggone entry

October 29th 2004 9:01 am
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I wish Oscar would give it a rest. He keeps saying "I have a diary! I have a diary!" but we are not amused. Do you know how hard it is to use the shift key when all you got is paws? But he double-dog-dared me so here goes.

I killed a snake today!!!

Mom says it's only a garden snake but I think it's an anaconda. She has no idea how huge this thing is. It's as big as my tail! I tried to bring it in the house to show her, but she closed the door in my face. If I catch enough of these, we can have green spaghetti! That would be cool. We could garnish it with mouse balls...

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