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My Diary

Poems that were p-mailed to us

Some lovely poems sent to us from Baby's family
http://www.catster.com/cats/755973



I know God has taken you home. I'm just someone that's taken care of you," "It's hard to believe that you're gone. But you're in a more peaceful place than here. I'll see you when I can. Wait for me at the gates of heaven."


How can I bear to lose you, my precious gentle one,
To know that you will not be here when my day is done?
So much of my heart, my love, have I given up to you,
How then can I stand the pain now that your life is through?
My sorrow overwhelms me, the tears so freely flow,
How can I carry on my life, with a heart that's laden so?
Then the answer comes to me from the stillness in my soul.
Remembering the love we shared will help to make me whole.
I'll hold you in a special place, so deep within my heart
And in these loving memories we'll never be apart.
You will not be so far away, your presence I will feel.
I'll wrap myself in your memory and so very slowly I will heal.
The years we shared, the little joys, the laugher and the tears
My love for you will never die, but strengthen with the years
So fare you well, my precious love, I gently let you go
And pray to all the Gods there be that you will always know
I loved you so, my little one, that love will never cease
I gave you warmth, I gave you love, and now I give you peace.
~ Constance Jenkins~


A Cat's Prayer

To Those Who Love & Those Who Love Me

When I am gone, release me, let me go-
I have so many things to see and do.
You must not tie yourself to me with tears,
Be happy that we had so many years.
I gave you my love, you can only guess
How much you gave me in happiness.
I thank you for the love you have shown.
But now it is time I traveled alone.
So grieve awhile for me if grieve you must,
Then let your grief be comforted by trust,
It is only for a while that we must part,
So bless the memories within your heart,
I will not be far away, for life goes on,
So if you need me, call and I will come.
Though you can not see or touch me, I will be near.
And if you listen with your heart, you will hear
All my love around you soft and clear.
And then, when you must come this way alone,
I will greet you with a smile and "Welcome Home".




Goodbye

With heavy hearts; and a tear in our eyes
after all these years; we must say goodbye
Please understand; we've done all we could
if there was anything we could do; you know we would

I'm sitting right here; gently rub your ears
while I talk to you softly; trying to hold back the tears
The memories you gave us; we'll never forget
especially the ones; of the day we all met

One last hug; and one last kiss
you have no idea; how much you'll be missed
To look into your eyes; this one last time
you tell me it's ok; you know it's your time

Close your eyes now; and go to sleep
we'll pray to the Lord; you're soul he'll keep
Go in peace now; our good friend
we'll stay right here with you; until the end

Dream of that special day and time
when we'll meet at the Bridge; and all will be fine
We'll run and play; side by side
with a soft warm feeling; deep down inside

Your memory will live on; in each one of us
you'll always be number 1; to all of us
Have a safe journey; through the night
I promise when you awake; you'll be in God's light

So with heavy hearts; and tears in our eyes
just for now my friend; we say goodbye

John Quealy




FROM FRIEND TO FRIEND
Author Unknown

You're giving me a special gift,
So sorrowfully endowed,
And through these last few cherished days,
Your courage makes me proud.

But really, love is knowing
When your best friend is in pain,
And understanding earthly acts
Will only be in vain.

So looking deep into your eyes,
Beyond, into your soul,
I see in you the magic, that will
Once more make me whole.

The strength that you possess,
Is why I look to you today,
To do this thing that must be done,
For it's the only way.

That strength is why I've followed you,
And chose you as my friend,
And why I've loved you all these years...
My partner 'til the end.

Please, understand just what this gift,
You're giving, means to me,
It gives me back the strength I've lost,
And all my dignity.

You take a stand on my behalf,
For that is what friends do.
And know that what you do is right,
For I believe it too.

So one last time, I breathe your scent,
And through your hand I feel,
The courage that's within you,
To now grant me this appeal.

Cut the bonds that hold me here,
Dear friend, and let me run,
Once more a strong and steady cat,
My pain and struggle done.

And don't despair my passing,
For I won't be far away,
Forever here, within your heart,
And memory I'll stay.

I'll be there watching over you,
Your forever friend,
And in your memories I'll play,
Healthy once again.

Thank you

Thank you everyone you are all very kind. I have laughed and cried through the comments, gifts Stars ,beautiful pictures and even Zealies. I'm so sorry I can't thank you all personally. We have struggled to thank everyone from his birthday and then there was Ds lot We have tried to do some. Then the gift shop doesn't load even when we click it twice.

You know I thought I was prepared for when Balty goes, Well...
I can't believe I've reacted so badly over it. Stupid really.

I knew he was ready but it still doesn't stop ya from taking it so bad. Why does it affect you so much more when a pet goes than when humans go???? Weird.
I didn't want to bring Catster down when he went, so that's why I wanted everyone to celebrate his departure. He did live a long life, maybe longer than he should have.

We knew he was getting bad. The last week he was starting to walk on a lean. But still purred and loved his food. We would open the garage door and he would trot out to the deck to sun himself. He loved it out there and I'm pleased to say it was a warm spring day too with a breeze in the air. He found a toasty spot on the deck. He always knew where to find the sun. About 4:30 pm I heard him announcing that he was coming around the house to go in the garage. He did this meow meow meow as if to say I'm coming I need the door open. Which it was, so I didn't worry about it. About 30 mins later D went out and I watch him act strangely I wondered if it was a bird? As he stopped in his tracks stooped down then back tracked. I went out to see what he was looking at.

It was Balty face down in the damp dirt/grass lying in a way I thought he was already gone. I went over and he let out a howl when he heard me call his name. I picked him up onto his feet and he stumbled over to lean against my legs. I picked him up and took him inside. Put him on a dry fleece and some food in front of him. He was hungry like he normally was, but only took a few mouth fulls before he face planted into the bowl. While he was doing that his bed was heating in the microwave.
I laid him on the warm bed while I called the vets for that appointment. I also rang my husband as I was hoping he would take him in when the time came. He left to go out of town (flew out) that morning and wasn’t due home 11pm that evening I told him we can’t wait it’s time, that I can’t risk him doing that again and having the earth suck the life out of him, he needed constant watching. He loved it outside and would howl (the best he could, but it was loud) to be let out every morning.
He had no strength to stand.... but would he get that strength back? I’m not sure. And for how long? maybe a day or two.
I took him to the vets I told myself this is crazy it is his time. When I walked in I paid the bill straight away and chatted with the nurses as I waited for our appointment. I was struggling, then we went in Oliver was good and checked him over but also agreed it was for the best he had done his time. He asked if I wanted to stay, I couldn’t see to well as I couldn’t fight back the tears anymore. As Oliver held Balty in his arms I couldn’t stay anymore, I said “no” they asked if I was ok, I said” I’m fine I’m just a wimp” and quickly left.
Stupid really as I have worked as a vet nurse and held many kitties’ paws while they crossed the bridge. So why not now?
That’ s why it’s all so stupid. I know he was exhausted he wouldn’t have cared, the injection would have felt as a relief as the pain from his arthritis would have eased as he drifted into the best sleep he’s had in a long time. But I just couldn’t watch.
For all his peeing ......in his bed and everywhere else that pee could get, the helicopter pees that would cover his food etc. He was really was a clean kitty in his youth.
For one of the many things for my vet nursing certificate, I had to study an animal’s behaviour and do a report on it. I chose his grooming habits. He was such a good groomer with a soft coat. He was also so fastidious, it depended on the temperature to where he groomed himself and at what time of the day he would do the back, front, paws or face. Funny enough he did have a routine.
He also loved our groom times with the zoom groom, when he’d start to moult at the beginning of spring I would ask him to go with me out on the deck. He’d race out there and set himself up really for the groom. When I asked him to turn around he would do it as if he understood everything I said.
We had a lot of fun together.
As he got older the grooms stopped, he was getting too sore on the back with the arthritis.
Then things changed about 5 years ago when he started thinking he was the boss he would no longer do what I asked him to do, he started telling me what to do. THE CAT RULED. Just ask the other cats they all rolled over in front of him as he towered over them even D who was bigger and heavier than him would be submissive to him. It was funny to see if they didn’t, he would take a swipe at them. He really was the boss.
I’m sure he is at peace now.


Thank you everyone for being there for us and welcoming him to the bridge
Also thanks for all the gifts you have given him. I wish I could tell him but then he probably knows.

I think the day has come

I'm clingy and I can't walk I'm now on another clean bed and my heated pad is warmed up. The human has book an appointment at the vets for one hour. We'll see what the vet says but I think it's time. There was an appointment in 15 mins but the human thought we'd wait a little and see what happens but I don't look good. Purrs Balty